Tsiku lililonse, gulu la amuna ndi akazi padziko lonse lapansi limasonkhana pa bolodi la Reddit lotchedwa NoFap kuti likambirane za kusadziseweretsa maliseche. Inde, monga momwe nkhani yotchuka ya Seinfeld, "Mpikisano" imanenera - Jerry ndi gulu la zigawenga amabetcha $100 kuti aone yemwe angakhalebe "wolamulira madera awo" kwa nthawi yayitali. Ndi gulu lotchedwa NoFap, ndipo lili ndi malingaliro ake, malingaliro ake, komanso kuthandizana.
"Fap" ndi mawu ogwiritsidwa ntchito pa intaneti omwe amatanthauza kudzikonda. Idawonekera koyamba mu sewero la pa intaneti la 1999 lotchedwa Sexy Losers kutanthauza phokoso la munthu amene akusangalala yekha. Pa UrbanDictionary , ndi "chifaniziro cha onomatopoeic cha kuseweretsa maliseche." Kotero "NoFap" ndi momwe imamvekera.
Pakadali pano pali mamembala oposa 81,000 m'derali. Amadzitcha okha "okonda kugonana," ndipo amati chizolowezichi chasintha kwambiri pamoyo wawo, monga kudzidalira kwambiri, kuganizira kwambiri, chilimbikitso, chilakolako chogonana, komanso kukula kwa mbolo . Kwa ena ndi njira yothetsera nkhawa zawo zokhudzana ndi kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula, pomwe ena amaona kuti ndi njira yopezera ubale wabwino.
Enanso amagwira ntchitoyi monga chiyeso cholemetsa chodziletsa.
Momwe izo zinayambira
"Ndatha kuchita zinthu zomwe sindinaganizepo kuti ndingathe kuchita. Kupempha mtsikana kuti achite prom, kuyambitsa ndi kukambirana ndi anthu osawadziwa, kukhala wokhoza kukwaniritsa pamene anthu ambiri amataya mtima akangoona chizindikiro choyamba cha mavuto." - cjclear789
Nkhani ya mu June 2011 pa Reddit yolumikizidwa ndi kafukufuku wochokera ku National Institute of Health. Mfundo yochokera mu kafukufukuyu ndi yosavuta: amuna akamalephera kudziseweretsa maliseche kwa masiku asanu ndi awiri, kuchuluka kwa testosterone m'thupi lawo kumawonjezeka ndi 45.7%. Izi zinapangitsa kuti pakhale vuto la sabata imodzi pakati pa Reddit, ndipo m'modzi mwa iwo pamapeto pake anati "kugonana ndi amuna okhaokha" kungakhale chida champhamvu cholimbikitsira.
Zinthu zinayamba kukwera mofulumira kuyambira pamenepo. NoFap subreddit yovomerezeka idakhazikitsidwa ndipo tsamba lodziyimira palokha linawonekera chaka chimodzi pambuyo pake pa NoFap.org . Ogwiritsa ntchito tsopano anali ndi malo oti asonkhane ndikukambirana njira zawo zosiyanasiyana zopewera kuseweretsa maliseche, komanso kulemba zosintha zilizonse zomwe amati ndi zomwe zidachitika chifukwa cha NoFap.
Zojambula ZowongokaKusakaza kwaposachedwapa kwa fapstronauts (dinani kuti mukulitse).
NoFap ndi ndani?
Pali nkhani zambiri zonena za kukhala wophunzitsira monga momwe alili mamembala am'deralo. Ndi zenizeni kwa aliyense amene akufuna kuyesa.
"Kwa omwe amakonda kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula, ndi za kuchira," woyambitsa NoFap Alexander Rhodes adatiuza. Ndiwolemba zaka 24 wazaka ku Pittsburgh, Penn. “Achinyamata ena pano abwera kudzalimbikitsa ubale wawo, kaya akhale okwatirana, okwatirana, kapena osakwatira. Kwa ena, zimangokhala zovuta kuti mukhale olimba - kuti mulamulire zakugonana kwanu ndikusintha kukhala kwamphamvu kwambiri. Pali zifukwa zambiri, koma tonse tili pa NoFap ndi cholinga chimodzi - kuthandizana kupewa PMO (zolaula / maliseche / maliseche). ”
Silo lingaliro lachikhalidwe, mwina. Amayi a NoFap amatchedwa "femstronauts."
Nayi Rhode kachiwiri:
"Amayi ndiolandilidwa, ngakhale ambiri aife ndife anyamata, makamaka azaka za m'ma 20. Ndikulingalira kuti gulu la NoFap lili ndi akazi 5%, ndipo ngakhale NoFap imakhala ndi azimayi ambiri, pali zambiri zoti muphunzire pazomwe adakumana nazo ndi vuto la NoFap. Zithunzi zolaula sizovuta kwa amuna okha […] Zikuwoneka ngati ambiri mwa iwo akukumana ndi mavuto ofanana ndi omwe amuna a NoFap akuti. "
Ngakhale NoFap imadutsa mzere wama jenda, mwina sangakhale wopanga-kusiyana komwe mukufuna. Monga momwe mungayesere pakukonzanso moyo - kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuphunzira maluso atsopano, china chilichonse - iyi siimatsenga yamatsenga yosinthira malingaliro anu kapena malingaliro anu. Rhodes adalongosola kuti "kwa anthu ena, kusiya zolaula ndikuseweretsa maliseche ndikusintha moyo wawo. Kwa ena, sizimabweretsa chilichonse. 'Mayendedwe anu akhoza kukhala osiyanasiyana' ndi mawu omwe timagwiritsa ntchito nthawi zonse. ”
Chiphunzitso cha NoFap
"Ndikumva mosiyana kwambiri. Ndimangodzikonda bwino. Ndikumva wosangalala, wodzidalira kwambiri. Ndikudziwa kuti [si]mapangitsa munthu kukhala wosangalala komanso wodzidalira mwamatsenga; kusintha kwa maganizo a munthu ndiko kumachita zimenezo." – indy175
Vuto la NoFap limaphatikizapo kukhala ndi cholinga chosiya kumwa kwa nthawi inayake, kenako n’kusiya. Ophunzirawo amanena kuti zotsatira zake ndi zabwino kwambiri, monga kudzidalira kwambiri, kuchepetsa nkhawa, kuyang’ana kwambiri zinthu, komanso kuoneka ngati akukopa akazi kwambiri (muli ndi chidaliro kuti mwagonjetsa chinthu chachikulu ndipo akazi amakonda kudzidalira).
Rhodes akuwona kusintha kwakukulu kumeneku kukhala lingaliro la biology lotchedwa inclusive fitness. Limakhudza chiwerengero cha ana omwe chamoyo chili nawo komanso kuthekera kwawo kusamalira ana atsopano akamabadwa.
"Pomwe [amagonana pafupipafupi] pakati pa amuna ndi akazi, kuchuluka kwa testosterone kwamwamuna kumachepa, zomwe zimayambitsa kusintha kwamakhalidwe komwe kumawasandutsa abambo abwino," akuwonetsa Rhodes. “Akapanda kuchita nawo zachiwerewere, kuchuluka kwa testosterone kumakwera, kuwapangitsa kuti azikhala olusa komanso kuti azolowere 'moyo wosakwatira.'”
Lingaliro ndiloti kuseweretsa maliseche kumanyengerera thupi lanu kuganiza kuti likubereka. Ndipo ngati thupi lanu likuganiza kuti "likuchulukana" kwambiri, silimakakamizidwa kuti mupitilizebe kupikisana pazogonana.
Osati kuchita izo
Malangizo ambiri a NoFap ndi amomwe mungasinthire malo anu mukamamva kuti malire akutumphuka. Nazi zomwe Rhodes akuti muchite ngati mungakhale ndi "chilakolako" ndikufuna kumenyana nacho:
Chokani pakompyuta ndikuchita zina zomwe sizomwe simuyenera kuchita. Kodi ndi cholinga chanu chachikulu kuti mupewe zolaula kapena maliseche? Inde sichoncho! Tsatirani zomwe mumakonda. Mukadzaza ndandanda yanu ndi zinthu zabwino zomwe zimakukhudzani, kupewa PMO kudzakhala kosavuta kwambiri.
Pitirizani kuzindikira kwanu. Kugonjera ku zolimbikitsira nthawi zonse kumadziwika bwino. Phunzirani kuzindikira nthawi yomwe izi zikuchitika. Pamene mukulakalaka kuti mubwererenso ku zolaula, malingaliro anu akungoyesayesa zosankha zosaganizirika zomwe zakhala zikupanga kale. Kungodziwa izi kungakhale kokwanira kugunda chilakolakocho.
Ngati mukuganiza zoloŵerera, Rhodes akulangizani kuleza mtima. Anatinso otenga nawo mbali ayenera kugula zonse zisanachitike. Zovuta za NoFap ndi "marathon, osati sprint":
Ngati mulibe chifukwa chomveka chochitira izi, mwina simukhalitsa… Muyenera kudzifunsa nokha musanayambe: Chifukwa chiyani mukufuna kuchita izi? Zolinga zanu ndi ziti? Kodi mukufuna kukhala munthu wamtundu wanji? Kawirikawiri mayankho a mafunso amtunduwu amakhudzana ndi mfundo yayikulu - chinthu chomwe ndimakonda kutcha "cholinga chanu chapamwamba." Cholinga chapamwamba ichi chimasiyanasiyana kwa fapstronauts onse. Mwinamwake mukufuna kuchita izi kwa munthu amene mumamukonda, kuti muthane ndi kusungulumwa, ndi zifukwa zina zambiri - koma koposa zonse kuti mudzisinthe.
Kodi ndi zolaula zotani zomwe zimachitika pa ubongo wanu?
Akatswiri a zamaganizo nthawi zambiri amatchula YourBrainOnPorn , gwero la intaneti lomwe limalemba kafukufuku wokhudza ubale pakati pa zolaula ndi ubongo wa munthu. Limafotokoza lingaliro lakuti zolaula ndi vuto la nthawi yayitali lomwe lingasinthe ubongo wanu, komanso kuti zolaula ndizoopsa kwambiri kuposa momwe munthu angaganizire.
Mwina zotsatira zooneka bwino za kumwa mopitirira muyeso zolaula (kwa amuna) ndi vuto la kugonana lomwe limabwera chifukwa cha zolaula , PIED. Si matenda odziwika bwino koma kafukufuku wakale akusonyeza kuti pali umboni wina wotsimikizira lingaliro lakuti n'zotheka kudzilimbikitsa kwambiri ndi zolaula mpaka kufika poti mapaipi anu akuyamba kugwira ntchito (kapena osagwira ntchito) mosiyana.
Ichi ndi chitsanzo chowopsa kwambiri ndipo sichimakhudza aliyense, komabe Rhode amavomereza kuti zolaula zitha kuthandiza ena. Pokambirana, adafanizira ndudu - "zomwe zimawononga thanzi ndi anthu," koma "sizoyipa kwambiri padziko lapansi kwa anthu ena."
"Ndili ndi vuto lalingaliro lazinthu zabwino zokhudzana ndi zolaula [koma] sindikufuna kuti zolaula ziletsedwe kapena kuwongoleredwa," atero a Rhode. “Ndikuganiza kuti anthu ayenera kuphunzitsidwa za zovuta zomwe zingakhudze anthu ena. Chinthu chokha chimene ndikulimbikitsa pakadali pano ndi maphunziro. ”
Maganizo a malo ndi chilimbikitso ndi amphamvu.
Abale omwe amamvetsa nkhondoyo
"[Ndi] zambiri kuposa kungochita zinthu mwachisawawa, zovuta kapena dera kwa ine. [Ndi] moyo. Zili ngati kubadwanso pambuyo pa zaka zambiri za imfa." - kukongola
M'malo mosambira m'nyanja ya nthabwala, munthu wakunja amene akuyang'ana subreddit ya NoFap adzazindikira kuti anthu okonda zinthu zakale ali ndi malingaliro abwino komanso olimbikitsana. Anthu atsopano amalandiridwa bwino. Amuna ndi "abale" omwe "amamvetsetsa kulimbana." Gulu laling'ono la akazi limafunafunana ndipo limapereka malingaliro a amuna kuchokera ku theka lina la anthu.
Asayansi odziwa za kugonana alipo kuti aziyamikirana akalandira manambala a foni kuchokera kwa atsikana atatu patsiku monga momwe alili kuti akambirane za kukhumudwa kwawo.
Kuzungulira izo
Anthu amalimbana ndi ziwanda zamtundu uliwonse - mankhwala osokoneza bongo, mowa, banja, malingaliro. Kwa ena, kuseweretsa maliseche kumatha kukhala vuto limodzi. Ngakhale ena samatha kumvetsetsa kuti ndi "vuto," kuyang'ana ngati choncho kuphonya mfundo. Palibe cholakwika chilichonse pakukhala ndi moyo wabwino, ndipo iwo omwe amadzipereka moona mtima ku NoFap nthawi zambiri amapitiliza kufotokoza za kusintha kwa anthu pamlingo winawake.
Wogwiritsa ntchito wina, “borninthenorthwest,” anafotokoza momwe zinasinthira moyo wake ndi malingaliro ake :
Chibwenzi changa ndi zolaula chidayamba ndili ndi zaka 13 ndi zithunzi zamaliseche za Playboy za Pamela Anderson ndi Jenny McCarthy. Izi zinali m'masiku ochezera pa intaneti, ndipo ndidayambitsidwa ndi mzanga wapamtima paubwana panthawiyo. Ngakhale izi sizinkawoneka ngati zolaula, poyerekeza ndi zomwe anzanga anali atayamba kuyang'ana, tsopano ndawona kuti ichi chinali chiyambi. Zinayamba kuzungulira pomwe mkazi aliyense yemwe ndidakumana naye adaweruzidwa ndi izi, ndipo sindinakopeke ndi atsikana ambiri pasukulu yasekondale, ngakhale ndinali wotchuka komanso wokondedwa chifukwa cha luso langa pagitala. Lowani koleji…
Kupita kusukulu yophunzitsa kuyimba komwe ndidakhalanso nyenyezi, zidakhala zosavuta kutengera zomwe zidandipangitsa kuzindikira (gitala). Koma nditayamba kubwerera mmbuyo, ndimapitilizabe kudzaza malo azakugonana ndi zithunzi zosewerera pamasewera za omwe ndimasewera nawo komanso otchuka, omwe tsopano anali kufooka kwakukulu. Osati zolaula zochulukirapo, koma chikhalidwe chotsutsana ndi kukongola…
Mwamunayo adapezeka kuti sangathe kufotokoza - kapena kukhala ndi chidwi ndi - akazi enieni. “Palibe atsikana omwe ndinakumana nawo kukoleji amene angafanane ndi zomwe ndimaganiza. Ndi atsikana ochepa omwe ndimakopeka nawo, ndimadzimva kuti sindingathe kufunsira chibwenzi, ndipo nthawi zambiri ndimangoganiza za iwo m'malo mwake. M'malingaliro mwanga, padalibe zovuta. ”
Ayenera kuti anali wokonda zolaula, akuvomereza kuti: "Nditamaliza maphunziro anga kukoleji nditamaliza maphunziro azosangalatsa. Pofika 31 ndidapeza NoFap. "
Zinamuthandiza kuti abwerere ku zenizeni, akuti:
Kuyambira apo, chiyanjano changa ndi zolaula komanso zoopsa kwambiri ndizosiyana kwambiri. Sindikugwiritsanso ntchito zithunzi zolaula, ndipo sindikudziwanso kuti ndibwino kuti ndikhale wokongola, ndipo ndikukhudzidwa ndi moyo weniweni ndi anthu enieni, pang'onopang'ono ndikuchita zenizeni.
Zitha kukhala kuti NoFap ikuyimira kusintha kwakusintha kwa moyo kwa omwe akutenga nawo mbali zomwe zimawakakamiza kuti akhale ndi zizolowezi zatsopano komanso zabwino zomwe zitha kutayika mpaka nthawi yofunikira pazinthu zina. Koma tisaiwale kuti NoFap yopanda mphamvu: Ma mileage anu amatha kusiyanasiyana.