Moni kwa aliyense. Ndiyamba ndikupereka mbiri yanga ndipo ndikupatsani chiyembekezo chothandiza pazotsatira zamabulogu.
Ndili mwana ndinkachita masewera othamanga, anzeru, komanso ochezeka. Ndinali wokondwa nthawi zonse ndipo ndinali ndi abwenzi miliyoni. Zonsezi zidasintha zaka zapakati pa 11 pomwe ndidapeza intaneti ndipo ndidazolowera pafupifupi chithunzi chilichonse pa slutpost.com. Pambuyo pake ndidatsitsa KaZaA ndikupitilira pafupifupi zolaula zamtundu uliwonse zomwe zimawoneka (shemale, gay, dominatrix, nyama, amputee, etc.). Ndinayamba kukhala ndi nkhawa yayikulu komanso kuda nkhawa. Katswiri wazamisala adandiuza Lexapro ndi Zoloft zomwe ndidangomaliza kumwa kwa milungu ingapo chifukwa ndimadana ndi lingaliro lakumwa mankhwala. Zaka 15 zotsatira za moyo wanga zinali zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri. Ndinali wotsutsana kwambiri ndi anthu. Sindinayankhule ndi aliyense ndipo ndimakhala ndekha nkhomaliro kusukulu. Ndinkadana ndi aliyense. Ndinasiya masewera onse omwe ndinkasewera ngakhale ndinali wodziwika bwino pamasewera onse. Magiredi anga adatsika pang'ono. Zomwe ndimadana nazo kuziganizira tsopano, ndinali nditayamba kuganiza zokonzekera njira yanga ya 'Columbine' kudziko lino, titero. Mwachidule, ndinali wanker wathunthu. Ndine wodabwitsika mpaka pano kuti ndidakwanitsa kumaliza maphunziro anga akusekondale. Sindine wokongola ngakhale pang'ono ndipo ndinali ndi azimayi pafupi nane omwe amayesa kulankhula nane koma ndimangowayang'ana m'maso. Nthawi zochepa zomwe zinthu zimapita patsogolo pogonana ndimakhala ndikudandaula. Zotsatira zake zinali manyazi kwathunthu komanso manyazi zomwe zidandipangitsa kukhulupirira kuti ndimagonana - komanso wotayika kwathunthu (zomwe ndinali). Ndinaganiza zodzipha kwa nthawi yayitali koma sindinathe kutero poopa kuwawa komwe makolo anga adzawapweteke. Ndipo ndine wokondwa kuti sindinatero.
Ndili ndi zaka makumi awiri zoyambirira ndinadziŵa kumbuyo kwanga kuti zolaula ndizo zomwe zinkasokoneza moyo wanga. Panalibe kanthu kena kamene ndingathe kuchita nazo, komabe, chifukwa ndinali ndi chizoloŵezi choledzera kwambiri. Ndinkakhalabe kunyumba ndi makolo anga ndipo sindinagwire ntchito kapena kuchita chilichonse pa nkhaniyi. Ine ndinali wofanana ndi mwana woberedwa kuti ndilankhule. Ndimagwiritsa ntchito maola angapo a 4-6 pa tsiku ndikuwombera ma siteti ndi kuseweretsa maliseche kwambiri ku mafilimu omwe amawoneka bwino komanso amodzi omwe ndimapeza. Sindinapite chaka chatha pamene ndinakumana ndi YBOP kuti ndayimitsa chidziwitso chilichonse chimene ndingathe pa webusaitiyi ndipo ndinati "Fuck it." Ndinatenga laputopu yanga Toshiba ndipo ndinaponya gehena kwa makolo anga pamsewu ndi ndiye kumenyana ndi mabotolo. Mphindi imeneyo mosakayikitsa kusintha kwakukulu pamoyo wanga. Ndinadziŵa kuti nthawi yobwererayo idzakhala gehena, koma kuti ndingotenthedwa ndi chimphepo ndi mphamvu kupyolera mu izo. Ndipo ine ndinachita izo basi. Sabata yoyamba ndinakhala ndi vuto la kugona kwambiri. Sindikukumbukira ndikugona pa tsiku loyamba la 6. Mu malingaliro anga, izo zinapanga maphunziro a Hell Week ya Navy SEAL kuyang'ana mosavuta. Koma pamasabata omwe adatsatira, zinthu zinayamba kutembenuka pang'onopang'ono koma zakhala zikudziwika patadutsa miyezi ya 3. Ndinayamba kupeza mphamvu kuti ndichite zinthu.
Ndinapitabe patsogolo kuti ndilembetse ku yunivesite ndikuchita bwino (4.0 GPA mpaka pano), ndikukhazikitsa udindo wotsogola ku bizinesi yaing'ono, kutenga masewera osiyanasiyana (SCUBA diving, lifting, biking, MMA), ndi kupambana kugonana ndi akazi osiyana a 2. Ndinasungiranso ndalama zabwino kuti ndipeze ndalama zowonjezera nyumba yomwe ndagula mwezi watha ndipo potsiriza ndinachoka panyumba ya makolo anga atakalamba kwambiri a 27. Kuchuluka kwa mphamvu zomwe ndili nazo n'zosatheka ndipo sindinayambe zowonjezera kuposa momwe ndikuchitira tsopano. Cholinga changa cha tsogolo ndikumakumana ndi mtsikana wabwino yemwe ndimamuchita karezza naye ndipo ali ndi zofanana. Ndipereka maganizo ena m'tsogolomu. Cholinga changa apa ndikupereka nzeru kuti pakhale njira yowonjezera. Ndikufuna kuti nonse mukhale moyo wanu.
"Titha kuchita chilichonse chomwe tikufuna malinga ngati CHOSAFUNIKIRA." - Theodore Kaczynski
;