Ulalo wa Nkhani pa Epulo 27, 2016 ndi Dr. Barbara Winter
Dokotala Barbara Winter akuti achinyamata omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito pa zolaula angayambe kukondana ndi mavuto awo.
-
Masiku awiri apitawo mwana wanga wamwamuna wazaka 18 yemwe anali pafupi kukwanitsa zaka 18 anabwera kwa ine ndi kundifunsa ... "Amayi, bwanji mukuyang'ana kwambiri zolaula?" chifukwa wandimva nthawi zambiri ndikulankhula za zabwino, zoyipa ndi zoyipa komanso chikhalidwe chathu chimakonda kwambiri kugonana pa intaneti, ngakhale kuti ndimakonda kwambiri zolaula. Zambiri mwa izi zakhala zikuchitika posachedwapa. Tsiku lotsatira mu kalasi yake yamtengo wapatali, adadabwa (kapena ayi) kulandira kuchokera kwa ine chithunzi cha tsamba la Time lotchedwa "ZOLAULA, ... ndi kuopsa kwa ukazi."
Kodi akudabwa ngati ndikudya? Mwina. Chabwino, ndikuchita pafupifupi nthawi zonse-ku ofesi yanga.
| Monga zolekerera zimapita, izi zingakhale zofulumira komanso zokwiya. Zolaula zikufalikira-sizidziwika, zotsika mtengo (zosavuta nthawi zambiri) ndipo, zogwirizana kwambiri, zowonjezeka. |
Kwa kanthawi tsopano, ndawona ndikufika ku ofesi yanga gulu la amuna, amuna achikulire, omwe kugonana kwawo kuli kochepa. Izi zikutanthauza kuti penise yawo siigwira ntchito momwe iwo amafunira pamene ali ndi anthu enieni. Ndipo ngakhale anyamata achikulire angapereke kuchipatala movutikira m'chipinda chogona chifukwa cha nkhawa za anthu, mankhwala osokoneza bongo, Asperger ndi zina za chiyanjano, chiwerengero chikuwonjezeka ndipo zolaula nthawi zambiri zimakhala zoyipa.
Kulephera kupeza kapena kusunga chilakolako cha kugonana ndi munthu weniweni kukuonekera mu ofesi ya akatswiri ogonana. PIED—vuto la kugonana lomwe limabwera chifukwa cha zolaula—monga momwe lalembedwera posachedwapa, lakhala chizolowezi china cha khalidwe kapena chizolowezi cha machitidwe . Likuonekera mwa ine.
Nthawi zambiri zipangizo zamakono zimaweruzidwa kuti tibwezeretse ubongo wathu ndikusokoneza maubwenzi athu. Tsopano zikuwoneka kuti kukonda kwathu ndi digito ndikumakhudza momwe timagwirira ntchito m'chipinda chogona. Ndipo ngakhale kuti vutoli laperekedwa kwa kanthawi tsopano, manambala akuwoneka akukula.
Mwakutanthawuza, kuledzera kumaphatikizapo zinthu ziwiri-kulekerera ndi kusiya. Kulolerana kumatanthauza lingaliro loti timafunikira kuchuluka kwa zinthuzo kuti tikwaniritse zomwezo. Kuchotsa kumatanthauza kuti ndikuchotsa mankhwalawo timakhala ndi zofooka zina mpaka titafika poyambira. Zonsezi zimakhudzana ndi kudalira thupi. Kuzoloŵera-kwachilendo, kudabwitsidwa, ndi nkhawa, kumakweza ubongo wa ubongo-ndipo njira zathu zosangalatsa komanso zopindulitsa zimatha kupezeka kulikonse, nthawi iliyonse. Njirayi yafanizidwa ndi kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo monga cocaine. Zolaula ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndipo kuyenda kuchokera pawindo limodzi kupita kwina ndi gawo lowopsa chifukwa kumakulitsa kuthekera kolimbikitsana kwambiri komanso kovuta kusintha mawonekedwe. Sizomwe zimachitika m'zipinda zenizeni zogona ndi anthu enieni.
| Asanayambe anyamatawa ali ndi mwayi weniweni paubwenzi wawo pa Intaneti ndipo ena a iwo akhala ovuta kugwira ntchito mosayenera. |
Monga momwe zizolowezi zimakhalira, izi zimatha kukhala zachangu komanso zowopsa. Zolaula ndizofala—ndi zosadziwika, zotsika mtengo (zaulere nthawi zambiri) ndipo, zofunika kwambiri, zimapezeka mosavuta. Belinda Luscombe, wolemba nkhani ya Time , adalemba ziwerengero ziwiri za kuwonetsedwa koyamba kwa zolaula; adati maphunziro awiri osiyana adapeza kuti zaka zapakati zimakhala zaka 12 ndi 13.
Tawona kuchuluka kwa anthu m'gulu la anthu komanso omwe ayamba kulimbana ndi zolaula. Gary Wilson, mphunzitsi wa anatomy ndi physiology, ( yourbrainonporn.com ) Ted-X Talk mu 2012 yotchedwa The Great Porn Experimen lero yaonetsedwa ndi anthu oposa 6 miliyoni. Nkhani yake—zolaula zimakhudza mitsempha, zimapangitsa kudzipatula ndipo, monga momwe nkhani ya Time ikusonyezera, imalepheretsa “unyamata wa anyamata.” Gabe Deem, wazaka 28, ndiye woyambitsa Reboot Nation. Popeza adayamba kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa intaneti ali mwana, amaphunzitsa amuna momwe angayambitsirenso ubongo wawo. Amadziwa bwino kufunika kwa liwiro ndipo akunena kuti adamva ngati zombie pamene adayamba kuchita zinthu mopupuluma, chinthu chofunikira kwambiri kuti asinthe khalidwe ndi zonse zokhudzana ndi thupi, (vuto lomwe ndi zotsatira za matenda am'mbuyomu omwe amatsatira.) Ngakhale kuti njirayi ikhoza kuonekeratu (sitinafufuze mpaka pano) anyamata adzafunika thandizo kuti adutsemo komanso manyazi ndi kusakwanira komwe kumayenderana nako.
Kuledzera kwauchidakwa si chizoloŵezi chogonana kwa anyamatawa ndipo pamene magulu ena otchulidwa kale angakhale pachiopsezo chachikulu kuti chiwongoladzanja chikhale chosavuta kwa ena. Pali kukayikira komanso umboni wosonyeza kuti anthu achikulire amachira mofulumira kusiyana ndi amuna awa chifukwa amadziwa kuti kugonana ndi munthu weniweni amawoneka bwanji. Nthawi zambiri amatha kubwerera msanga mofulumira chifukwa ali ndi imodzi.
Asanayambe anyamatawa ali ndi mwayi weniweni paubwenzi wawo pa Intaneti ndipo ena a iwo akhala ovuta kugwira ntchito mosayenera. Chochitika ichi sichiwapatsa mpata wodziwa ngati ali okhoza kukhala ndi chiyanjano choyanjana chomwe sichichitika kawirikawiri pachiyambi chogonana. Kulephera, kukanidwa, ndi zovuta komanso zambiri mwazochitikira zoyambirirazi pamene zochitikazo ndizolakwika. Ayenera kuphunzira momwe angagwirire ndi kugonana popanda malingaliro komanso kuti azigwirizana kwambiri ndi wokondedwa wawo. Ayenera kuphunzira momwe angakhalire ndi ubale wabwino ndi matupi awo ndi kugonana, osati choncho, zolaula. Kugonana nthawi zambiri kumakhala ndi malingaliro; zolaula ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndipo ngakhale kuti tsopano akusunthira malingaliro awo ndiye kuti ali kwinakwake.
Misonkho ya Epulo 23 ya Vanity Fair, Prince akuti akuti "" Ndikuganiza kuti panali njira ina yoti andiyambitsire zolemera komanso mwachangu. Ndinapatsidwa magazini ya Playboy, ndipo panali mabuku okonda zolaula ali paliponse. Idatengedwa mosavuta. Zinali zolemetsa kwambiri panthawiyo. Ndikuganiza kuti zidakhudza kwambiri kugonana kwanga. ”
Ndani akudziwa bwino zomwe mwana wanga anali kuchita panthawiyi nditamutumizira chikuto pakati pa tsiku la sukulu. Tikudziwa kuti zaka zikwizikwi zimalumikizidwa 24/7; log-on ikufanana ndi kuyatsa. Pomwe atsikanawo mwina anali pa Instagram, mwina anali kuyang'ana momwe amakondera (mpira ndiye) kapena kutumiza Snapchat. Ndikuyembekeza kuti ngakhale iye, kapena onse omwe anali nawo m'kalasi mwake, sanali kuonera zolaula.
- Onani zambiri pa: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/how-porn-is-hijacking-the-sex-lives-of-our-young-men-bbab/#comment-2358711