Kulephera kwa kugonana: Mtengo Wowonjezereka wa Kugwiritsa Ntchito Zolaula, ndi Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Nkhani ya Marko

Mark ndi wokwatira, wazaka 35 wazakale. Mkazi wake, Janet, ndi mankhwala ogulitsira mankhwala omwe amatha masiku angapo sabata iliyonse pamsewu. Onse awiri akunena kuti moyo wawo wa kugonana unali wabwino mpaka zaka zingapo zapitazo, ndipo Marko sadziwa chomwe chinachitika. Ankayembekezera nthawi yomwe Janet anali kunyumba chifukwa adadziwa kuti chinthu choyambirira chimene apita kukachita chinali kugona pabedi ndi kukonda kwambiri. Ngakhale pambuyo pa kubadwa kwa mwana wawo woyamba, awiriwo nthawi zonse ankakhala nthawi madzulo madzulo ndi Lamlungu m'mawa kuti akonze chikondi. Koma osakhalanso. Masiku ano pamene mukugonana ndi Janet, Mark akuvutika kuti afike pachimake. Iye wayamba ngakhale kupanga zida, kuti atenge zinthu. Chimene Marko sangathe kumvetsetsa ndichifukwa chake ali wokonzeka, wofunitsitsa, komanso wokhoza pamene amakafika kumalo ake oonera zolaula-zomwe amachita nthawi zonse pamene Janet ali panjira-koma sangathe kugwira ntchito pamene ali ndi zenizeni pomwepo patsogolo pake. Marko akuwonekeratu poyera kuti "sachita" ndi mkazi wake, ndipo akupitiriza kumupeza "wokondwa, wokondweretsa, ndi wokweza."

Kodi Kugonana Kumakhala Kugonana?

Mark akuvutika ndi Kutaya Kwambiri (DE), vuto lomwe ndilofala kwambiri kuposa momwe anthu ambiri amazindikira. Zizindikiro za DE zimaphatikizapo: kutenga nthawi yochuluka kuposa yachibadwa kuti ifike pamasewera; kungokwanitsa kufotokoza zolaula; komanso osatha kufika pamasewera. Poyamba Mark sankaganiza kuti "nthawi yaitali" kawirikawiri amawoneka ngati chizindikiro cha chibwibwi. Anayesetsa kuti ayambe kukwima ngati wokondedwa, poganiza kuti tsopano akukondweretsa Janet. Mwamwayi, monga iye ndi ena ambiri adapeza, pali chinthu chonga chinthu chochuluka kwambiri.

Monga ndi zovuta zonse zogonana, pali zambiri zomwe zingayambitse DE, kuphatikizapo: matenda / kuwonongeka; kugwiritsa ntchito SSRI-based anti-depressants, zomwe zimadziwika kuchedwa ndipo nthawi zambiri zimathetsa vutoli; zifukwa za maganizo zomwe zimawopsyeza ngati zopweteka zachuma kapena zovuta za m'banja-zonse zomwe zingasokoneze amuna pakugonana. Koma chifukwa chimodzi chomwe chimapangidwanso chifukwa cha kuchepetsa kuchepa ndi erectile kupweteka ndi kugwirizanitsa ndi-kwa ena, kuledzera kwa zolaula ndi maliseche monga chikwama chachikulu chogonana. Izi zikuwoneka kuti ndizofunikira kwambiri kwa amuna omwe ali ndi thanzi labwino pa moyo wawo monga Mark.

Zikuwoneka kuti tsunami ya zolaula zosavuta kuzipeza, zomwe zingakwanitse, komanso zosavuta kugwiritsidwa ntchito pa Intaneti zomwe zimapezeka kudzera pamakompyuta, makompyuta, mafoni apamwamba ndi mafoni ena omwe timagwira nawo m'thumba lathu, sizingatheke chifukwa cha maganizo, ubale, komanso mavuto azachuma , komanso kukanika kugonana. Mwanjira, izi zimatsimikizira zomwe ambiri kugonana munda wa chithandizo wakhala ukudziwika kwa nthawi ndithu-kuti pakati pa zizindikiro zambiri ndi zotsatira za kugonana ndi zolaula is kuchepetsa kapena ngakhale kusakhalako kosakhudzana ndi kugonana, zakuthupi, ndi kugwirizana ndi okwatirana ndi / kapena ogonana nawo nthawi yayitali. Vutoli sikuti limangochitika chifukwa cha chizoloŵezi cha maliseche ndi chiwonongeko kunja kwa chiyanjano choyambirira; Zili zogwirizana kwambiri ndi mfundo yakuti amuna onse awiri amawoneka mothandizidwa ndikutsitsimutsidwa ndi zatsopano. Munthu amene amagwiritsa ntchito 75% ya kugonana kwake podetsa maliseche komanso kuganizira zolaula (zithunzi zopanda malire za achinyamata, zosangalatsa, okondedwa osiyanasiyana ndi zochitika zogonana), m'kupita kwa nthawi, angapeze mnzake wokhala naye nthawi yayitali osasangalatsa komanso osangalatsa kuposa Kutenga kwamuyaya zinthu zatsopano ndi zokondweretsa mutu wake. Chimene ife tikuchiwona tsopano ndi kusokonezeka maganizo ndi okwatirana ndi abwenzi omwe akuwonetseredwa ngati kusokonezeka kwa kugonana, khalani DE kapena msuwani wake wodziwika bwino, erectile dysfunction (ED). Madandaulo amodzi mwa amuna omwe ali ndi zolaula zokhudzana ndi kugonana zikuphatikizapo:

  • Alibe vuto pochita erection kapena zolaula ndi zolaula, koma mwayekha, ndi wokondedwa wokondedwa kapena wokondedwa, amamenyana ndi chimodzi kapena zonse.
  • Amatha kugonana ndikukwaniritsa zolaula ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo, koma kugonana kumatenga nthawi yaitali ndipo mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo akudandaula kuti amawoneka kuti akusowa.
  • Amatha kumangokhalirana kukwatirana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo, koma amangofika pang'onopang'ono powerenga zithunzi zolaula pamutu pawo.
  • Amapempha okwatirana ndi abwenzi kuti azigwirizana nawo poonera zolaula-osati monga nthawi yowonjezereka kumoyo wathanzi wathanzi-koma ngati chida chofunikira chokwera kumalo osokoneza bongo.
  • Amakonda kwambiri "kugonana kosalaba" kwa kugonana kwenikweni, kukuwunikira kwambiri komanso kugonana.
  • Iwo ali ndi chinsinsi chochulukira kuchokera kwa okwatirana awo (kuchuluka kwa nthawi yowonera zolaula, zithunzi zowonedwa, ndi zina zotero), zomwe zingayambitse kudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa.
  • Mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo akusimba kuti ayamba kumverera ngati "mkazi wina."

Pamene Anthu Amadya Zambiri, Amadya; Bwanji za Porn Too Much?

Sizingatheke kuti aliyense amene akuvutika ndi zolaula zowonongeka ndi DE ndi wolaula wolaula. Ngakhale zili choncho, kupweteka kwa kugonana komwe kumachititsa kuti anthu azigonana ayenera kuwonedwa ngati chithunzithunzi cha kuledzera. Mwamuna aliyense amene amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula komanso akusowa pogonana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo ayenera kuganizira za kuwonetsa zolaula ndi kuseweretsa maliseche masiku a 30 kuti awone ngati vutoli likuwongolera. Ngati izo zitero, izo ndi zabwino. Ngati munthuyo atasiya zolaula ndi maliseche, moyo wake wa kugonana uyenera kukhala wabwino. Ngati masiku a 30 a zolaula ndi kudziletsa kumaliseche sizimveka bwino, munthuyo angafunikire kuyang'ana mozama chifukwa chake, chomwe chingakhale chiyambi cha thupi kapena maganizo.

Ngati izi zikutanthauza kuti vutoli ndiloledwe, munthu ayenera kumvetsetsa kuti, monga zoledzeretsa zonse, chizoloŵezi cha zolaula "chimabwezeretsanso" ubongo m'njira zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kukhala ndi "zosangalatsa" zakuthupi, kuphatikizapo zosangalatsa zogonana ndi chilolezo Mwamuna kapena mnzanu. Potero, sayenera kuyembekezera kuti vutoli lidzikonzekere usiku wonse. Ndipotu, ubongo umatiuza izi Zitha kutenga chaka chimodzi kapena kuposa chifukwa cha dopaminergic kapena njira zosangalatsa mu ubongo, pamene zisinthidwa ndi makhalidwe oledzeretsa, kuti zikhazikike.

Zisonyezero zowoneka kuti zolaula zafika povuta kwambiri zikuphatikizapo:

  • Kupitiliza kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula ngakhale kuti zotsatira ndi / kapena malonjezano apangidwa kwa iwo eni kapena ena kuima
  • Kuwonjezera nthawi imene mumagwiritsira ntchito zolaula
  • Maola, nthawi zina ngakhale masiku, amatha kuona zolaula
  • Kuwona zowonjezereka zowonjezereka, zamphamvu, kapena zodabwitsa zogonana
  • Kunama, kusunga zinsinsi, ndi kutsegula chikhalidwe ndi kuchuluka kwa zolaula
  • Mkwiyo kapena kukwiya ngati akufunsidwa kuti asiye
  • Kusachepera kapena ngakhale kusakhala kosakhudzidwa ndi kugonana, mwakuthupi, ndi kugwirizana kwa maukwati kapena abwenzi
  • Kusungulumwa kwakukulu, ndi ntchito yochokera kwa anthu ena
  • Kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo / mowa kapena kumwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo / mowa kumayambiranso kugwiritsidwa ntchito ndi zolaula
  • Kuwonjezera kukakamiza alendo, kuwawona ngati ziwalo za thupi osati anthu
  • Kuchuluka kwazithunzi kuchokera kuwona zithunzi ziwiri zofunikira kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti kwa anthu osadziwika ndi kugonana ndi amayi komanso kupeza mahule

N'zomvetsa chisoni kuti oledzera nthawi zambiri amafunafuna chithandizo chifukwa samawona momwe amachitira zokhudzana ndi kugonana komanso chifukwa chosowa chimwemwe. Ena amangochita manyazi kwambiri. Ndipo anthuwa akamapempha thandizo, nthawi zambiri amapempha thandizo ndi zizindikiro zokhudzana ndi chizoloŵezi cha mankhwala osokoneza bongo osati vuto lomwelo-kupita kukaonana ndi dokotala kukafunsa za zomwe zingayambitse kugonana, kutsegula maliseche penile, kapena kupeza uphungu wa "mavuto a ubale. "N'zomvetsa chisoni kuti zolaula zambiri zimayendera madokotala ndi kupita kuchipatala chokwanira popanda kukambirana (kapena kufunsidwa za) kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula ndi / kapena maliseche. Choncho, vuto lawo lalikulu likhoza kukhala pansi pa nthaka osasinthidwa.

Akatswiri onse omwe amachititsa amuna omwe ali ndi chidwi chokhudzana ndi chilakolako cha maganizo-m'maganizo, m'maganizo, ndi m'magulu-ayenera kukhala okonzeka kufunsa mafunso okhudza zolaula ndi maliseche. Ngati kuwonetsa zolaula kumawululidwa, katswiri wapadera wothandizira odwala matenda opatsirana pogonana akufunika, nthawi zambiri akugwirizana ndi maanja, ntchito yamagulu, ndipo, ngati zothandiza, akugwira nawo ntchito yowonzanso njira ya 12. Ndikofunika kudziwa kuti zolaula nthawi zambiri zimakhala chizindikiro cha maganizo okhudzidwa ndi chibwenzi omwe angafune nthawi yambiri yogwiritsira ntchito maganizo ndi kuthandizira kuti athetse, koma matendawa ndi chithandizo chingapambane pokhapokha atayambanso kuthetsa vutoli. .