ndi Joni Renee
Pakugwa ndinaganiza kuti ndiyenera kukhala wosakwatira kwakanthawi. Ngakhale ndimanyinyirika, ndimadziwa kuti ndibwino, popeza ndimaphunzira mozama kuti ndilandire chilolezo m'munda mwanga - ndipo amuna (chifukwa cha chidwi changa kwa iwo) adakhala chododometsa kwambiri. Chifukwa chake ndidawasiya, kwakanthawi kochepa. Zachilendo kunena, ichi sichinali chinthu chovuta kwambiri kuchita. Ndakhala moyo wanga wosakwatiwa. Ndapeza kuti maubwenzi achisangalalo siofala kwambiri. Ndidasangalala kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zanga kuti ndizitha kuphunzira, ndipo ndidalandira mphotho ndikadapambana mayeso angapo a zilolezo (alipo ambiri).
Pafupi patatha mwezi umodzi ndikukhala moyo umodzi, ndinazindikira kuti thanzi langa linayamba kuvutika. Makamaka, ndinayamba kuvutika kwambiri ndi kugona.
Izi zinali zachilendo chifukwa ndine wotchuka chifukwa cha kugona kwanga. Ine ndikudziwika kuti ndikugoneka mutu wanga usiku, ndipo chinthu chotsatira ndikudziwa kuti ndimadzuka m'mawa. Ndakhala ndikuchita nawo maphunziro ogona, koma ndikuuzidwa kuti ndimagona mokwanira. Sindinathe kumvetsetsa ndege, chifukwa ndimangokhalira kusintha nthawi yatsopano yomwe ndikupita.
Kuti andithandize kugona, ndinayamba kutenga zitsamba za ku China. Izi sizinagwire ntchito, choncho ndinayesa kuchitapo kanthu. Posakhalitsa ndinasamukira ku zitsamba za kumadzulo (Valerian root), zomwe zinandithandiza ngati ndatenga nthawi yoposa ola ndisanapite. Patapita milungu itatu izi zinasiya kugwira ntchito, ndipo ndinafunika kuyang'ana ena njira zothetsera mavuto. Ndinafufuza zifukwa zokhudzana ndi matenda, zakudya zimasintha, mavitamini, kusintha kwa mahomoni .... Palibe chimene chikanakhoza kulingalira za kupitiriza kwanga kwogona. Ndinaphunzitsa makalasi angapo a mlungu uliwonse a cardio (pamodzi ndi yoga ndi pilates), zomwe ndakhala ndikuchita kwa zaka zambiri, kotero ndinadziwa kuti ndikuchita zofunikira zomwe ndikufunikira. Palibe chomwe chinasintha mu zakudya zanga. Sindinavutike maganizo. Nchiyani chomwe chikanakhoza kusintha pa kusintha uku mu dongosolo la kugona?
Tsiku lina, ndikuyankhula ndi mnzanga, ndinadabwa mokweza pamene ndinali womaliza. Sindingathe kukumbukira pamene ndinatsika ndi munthu wina, ndikugwira dzanja langa, kapena dzanja langa litakulungidwa paphewa langa. Zakhala zitakhala choncho kuyambira nthawi yomwe ndinakhudzidwa, kuti ngakhale kumangirira kwa mnzanga kumverera kwina. Ndinazindikira kuti ndikulakalaka kuti ndikugwirizane; Ndinamva kuti ndilibe kanthu ndipo ndakhala ndikusowa mkati. Ndinazindikiranso kuti mphamvu zanga zinkasinthasintha, ndipo sindinathe kupereka chikondi komanso mphamvu zambiri kwa anzanga komanso abwenzi anga. Mnzanga wamkazi yemwe ndinkakambirana naye, adanena kuti amatha kuzindikira kuti pamene sakulimbitsa mwezi umodzi, amakwiya ndipo amakwiya kwambiri ndi amuna, kuchepetsa mwayi wake wamtsogolo wokhala nawo pachibwenzi.
Pambuyo pa kukambirana kumeneku, mwayi wokhala naye mzanga wobwera usiku womwewo unayamba. Ndinaonetsetsa kuti tinkathamanga kwa ola limodzi, ndikungoyankhula za tsiku lathu. Ine ndinaganiza, "Ine ndigona bwino usikuuno!" Ndipo apa. Kwa nthawi yoyamba mu miyezi itatu, ndinagona panthawi yomwe ndimagona pansi, ndipo ndinadzuka ndikutsitsimutsidwa. Ine ndinalibe chikhumbo chogonana ndi bwenzi langa latsopano la snuggle, ndipo ndinazifotokoza izo momveka. Kotero, danga linali lodziwika kuti titonthozane wina ndi mzake popanda zochitika zina. Tsiku lotsatira, tinayang'ana kanema ndi mafilimu. Ndinamva zosangalatsa kwa masabata. (Anapita ku South America posakhalitsa pambuyo pake.)
Tsopano musandivutitse: Kukhala wosakwatiwa kuli ndi ubwino waukulu. Monga wosakwatira, ndikusankha zomwe ndikuchita ndi pamene ndikuchita, popanda kuyankha kwa aliyense. Ndimasangalala kwambiri nditatha kupita pamene ndikufuna, kubwerera kunyumba mochedwa monga momwe ndikukondera, kudya pamene ndili ndi njala, ndikuyenda nthawi zonse ndikafuna. Ndimakonda ufulu ndi ufulu.
Ndinaganiza zowonongeka ndi amzanga angapo amzanga. Kodi adakumananso ndi zovuta zomwe zimachitika chifukwa cha kusowa kwa amayi? Kodi iwonso angakhale ... akuwombetsa? Ndinafunsa ngati (mu dziko lawo lakutha) angagulitse kugonana kuti ayambe kugwedeza? Pafupi nthawi zonse ndimakhala-popanda kukayikira-"Inde!"
Nchiyani chingawerengere kuti kukhudzidwa kunali zamatsenga komanso zamphamvu? Chifukwa chiyani kusowa kwa kukhudzidwa kunandichotsa ine kumverera wofooka ndi wotsirizira? Zingasokoneze bwanji thanzi langa kwambiri? Yankho lake likhoza kukhala mu hormone yotchedwa oxytocin, yomwe nthawi zina imatchedwa "cuddle chemical". Imatulutsidwa pokhudzana ndi kukhudzidwa mwachikondi ndipo ili ndi phindu lalikulu, wamkulu pakati pawo (kuchokera kwanga) akutsutsa zotsatira za nkhawa. Ndi cortisol yochepa, kugona tulo ndi kophweka.
Pafupifupi patapita mwezi umodzi ndinakumana ndi munthu amene ndinali naye mtima weniweni. Monga momwe ndinkafunira, ndipo ndinalandira oxytocin yofunika kwambiri kuchokera ku kugwirana ndi kugwedeza, ndinayang'ana mphamvu yanga. Ndipotu, ndinali ndi mphamvu zoposa zomwe ndakhala nazo miyezi. Ndinkangokhalira kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuvina ndi kuchiritsa. Ngakhale thupi langa-likadali lachikazi-likuwoneka ngati likuyimirira m'malo onse abwino, ndi kuchepetsa mwa ena. Pewani zowawa ndi zopweteka, ndipo ndinkakhala wathanzi komanso wamoyo kwambiri kuposa miyezi ingapo. Ndinkachitira chifundo abwenzi ndi achibale panthawi yofunikira. Koposa zonse, ndinkagona ngati mwana.
Ndinazindikira kuti pamene amuna akhala "atakhudzidwa" kwa kanthaŵi iwo amamva zowawa zina, zosiyana ndi akazi. Ena amakhala amwano kapena osayenera ndi akazi. Zokhumba zawo, zomwe zimafotokozedwa molakwika, zikuwoneka kuti zimachokera kunja kwa matupi awo zovuta kwambiri. Ena amayenda mkati ndikukhala ocheperapo, kapena, kuti athetse mphamvu za akazi zomwe zikusoweka, kwenikweni zimakhala zazikazi.
Monga momwe amuna nthawi zambiri samakopeka ndi amayi omwe akumva kuti alibe zosowa chifukwa cha kusowa kwa kukhudzidwa, nthawi zambiri sitikukopeka ndi amuna awa omwe mphamvu zawo zimatha. Iwo amatipatsa ife heebie-jeebies. Amafunikira mphamvu zachikazi. Zatha. Komatu ngati tadzinso tokha (chifukwa sitingapeze zomwe timafunikira), vuto limakhala Catch 22. Kuyesera kutuluka mmenemo kungakhale kochititsa manyazi. Ine ndabwera molimba kwambiri kwa amuna pamene ine ndikusowa chosowa. Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, pamene ndimamverera ndekha, ndimakhala wokwanira kwambiri kukopa okwatirana.
Kodi ndi maluso otani okhudzana ndi kuthawa omwe sali osakwatiwa komanso osapezekanso munthu amene angathe kusinthanitsa ndi makhalidwe ake otulutsa oxytocin?
Kuchita maliseche ndi wotchuka, koma kungokhala kanthawi kochepa. Sichipereka chakudya chakuya chomwe ndikulemba. Chochulukirapo, komanso chikhoza kukhala cholepheretsa ubale weniweni, chiopsezo chomwe ndichitenga m'nkhani yotsatira, 'nthano Yachiwerewere'.
Nazi njira zomwe zimagwira ntchito ine (ndi zina) popanda wokonda:
Mabwenzi okondana angakhale malo osangalatsa kuti tikwaniritse zosowa zathu zokhudza. Ndi openga kuti tikuyenda mozungulira njala pamene kudyetsedwa ndi mfulu komanso wochuluka. Tiyeni tiyambe kusinthika kwa bwenzi! Ndili ndi mzanga wamwamuna amene ndimakhala nawo mapepala a pajama. Timadya chakudya, kuseka, kugwa, kugona, kudya chakudya cham'mawa, ndi kukhalabe mabwenzi abwino kwambiri. Kodi mungaganize za munthu amene mungakulitse ubale woterewu?
Posachedwa ndinazindikira kuti pamene ndimagwira kumbuyo kwa wodwalayo, mphamvu yake inkawoneka ngati ikuwongolera kugwira kwanga ngati siponji. Iye ndi munthu wokondwa. Ndinamuuza kuti apeze bwenzi langa, koma sanatero. Anapitirizabe kukhala wabwino kwa kanthawi kochepa patsikuli, ndikukambirana. Pomalizira pake, ndinamuuza kuti ngati akufuna kuchiza, ayenera kutero kuti alandire kugwira nthawi zonse. Ndinamuuza kuti aimbire mnzanga wachikulire, amuuze kuti akuyang'ana bwenzi lake, akulonjeza kulemekeza malire onse omwe akufuna, ndi kusinthanitsa chikondi chokha. Izi zinagwira ntchito, ndipo sindinamuonepo kuyambira pamenepo. Timapitiriza kulankhulana, ndipo akukula.
Mofananamo, ndinakumana ndi mwamuna yemwe adagwirizana ndi mkazi yemwe anali pachibwenzi. Onse awiri adadziwa kuti sizinali "zabwino" kwa wina ndi mzake. Iwo adagwirizana kuti akhale paubwenzi womasuka pofuna cholinga chofuna kupeza okwatirana awo enieni pamapeto pake. Iwo adalephera kupita kunja kuno ngati anthu osowa, osakwatiwa. Iye adalongosola kuti, "Ndikuganiza kuti amuna amachoka pa masewera awo ngati sanapite nthawi." Mphamvu zake zinali zogwirizana, adatha kuganizira za kukwaniritsa cholinga cha moyo wake, ndi kusangalala ndi moyo. Kukumana ndi akazi atsopano kunalibe ntchito kwa iye, chifukwa anali munthu wathanzi komanso wophweka. Pamene adakumana ndi mkazi watsopano ndi wokwatirana naye, sanaone kuti akufunikira kuthamangira kukagona ndi kuwononga mwayi wokhala paubwenzi weniweni.
Misala ndi njira ina yothetsera vuto pamene tikukhudzidwa ndi njala. Amabweretsanso mphamvu mu thupi. Kwa msungwana wanga wosakwatiwa-anzanga, ndikupangira kulandira minofu kuchokera kwa amuna. Amuna amene apita kuchipatala amatha kukhala ndi malire amphamvu kwambiri, ndipo amakhala opambana pochiritsa machiritso. Iyi ndiyo njira yosavuta yolandirira mphamvu zachimuna m'malo abwino.
Kupaka minofu ya Tantric kumathandiza kuthetsa njira zamagetsi. Komabe, kumbukirani kuti cholinga cha minofu ya Tantric siichi, koma kumamasula mphamvu zanu kuti ziziyenda bwino mu thupi lonse. Ndapereka mankhwala odyetsa Tantric kwa abwenzi omwe amafunika kukhudza, ndipo anandiuza kuti atha kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zawo pambuyo poti asamalowetse magazi (osagwiritsidwa ntchito) ndipo amapatsa mphamvu. Mwamuna wina anandiuza kuti anawona mitundu tsiku lomwe sankadziwa kuti kulipo.
Pomaliza, khalani osangalala pamene amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ali pafupi. Ndaona mochulukira momwe anthu amayesera kusakondana. Ngakhale kuseweretsa maliseche kumawoneka ngati kukufuula, "ONANI?!? Sindinakusoweni; Ndingadzisangalatse NDEKHA! ” Osayesa OSATI kufuna ena. Vomerezani; timafunikira anthu m'miyoyo yathu! Kubwerera tsikulo, tinkakhala m'mafuko opanda kupatukana kwakukulu komwe timakumana nako masiku ano. Tsegulani mikono ndi mtima wanu nthawi iliyonse. Dyetsani ena, obiriwira komanso owonda ngakhale atha kuwonekera. Mutha kuzindikira kuti Prince Charming wanu - kapena Mfumukazi yanu - anali kungoseweretsa chovala cha chule chifukwa chakuchepa kwakanthawi.
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