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Talemba za "mkangano" wa anthu onse wokhudza kugonana ndi chizolowezi choonera zolaula, ndipo takhala tikutsutsa kwambiri nkhani zomwe zimayesa kuchepetsa nkhani zovuta kukhala mitu yosavuta. Kaya mwadala kapena ayi, nkhani zomwe zimati "Zolaula/Kugonana Sizowona" zimakulitsa manyazi chifukwa cha khalidwe loipa la kugonana.
Amasokoneza anthu omwe ali ndi ululu omwe akufuna - omwe akufunika - kupeza thandizo mwa kuthetsa mavuto ovuta kwambiri komanso amalingaliro.
Kumapeto kwa mwezi watha, chilengezo cha bungwe la American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists ("AASECT" mwachidule) chinayambitsa fumbi kachiwiri. Mu zomwe zinanenedwa kuti ndi "mawu a mbiri yakale", AASECT inakana njira zothandizira zokhudzana ndi chizolowezi cha chiwerewere. Makamaka, masiku ano "ndi udindo wa AASECT kuti kulumikiza mavuto okhudzana ndi chilakolako chogonana, malingaliro kapena machitidwe ndi njira yolaula/chiwerewere sikungapitirizidwe ndi AASECT ngati muyezo wophunzitsira za kugonana, uphungu kapena chithandizo."
Mosakayikira, atolankhani adamasulira izi ngati chitsimikizo cha "akatswiri" kuti kugonana ndi chizolowezi cha zolaula si "zenizeni," kapena choipa kwambiri, kuti ndi "bodza." Mu nkhani izi panali kusanthula kwakukulu (ngati kulikonse) kwa mfundo zomwe zidalengezedwa ndi AASECT. Mwachitsanzo, AASECT ikuvomereza kuti anthu amavutika ndi makhalidwe osalamulirika okhudzana ndi kugonana ndi zolaula, ndipo anthu amenewo amafunikira thandizo. Koma, AASECT ikukhulupirira kuti palibe umboni wokwanira wotsimikizira machitidwewa ngati "matenda amisala" amtundu wa chizolowezi, ndipo motero ikukhulupirira kuti sikoyenera kugwiritsa ntchito njira zochiritsira zokhudzana ndi chizolowezi kuti ziwachiritse. Pomaliza, ndipo mwina modabwitsa, AASECT imati akatswiri ochiritsa omwe amatsatira "chitsanzo cha chizolowezi" alibe "chidziwitso cholondola cha kugonana kwa anthu".
Atolankhani nawonso adalephera kunena zakusiyidwa kofunikira pamawu a AASECT. Wotayika mu hoopla yokopa chidwi chofuna kudziwa ngati kugonana ndi zolaula ndi "zenizeni" kunali kuvomereza kwa AASECT kuti kulibe chidziwitso chotsimikizika cha momwe othandizira angalangizire anthu omwe ali ndimavuto azakugonana. M'malo mwake, adaba tsamba kuchokera kwa Paul Ryan "Repeal and Delay" Playbook ™, atatha kugwiritsa ntchito njira yazachipatala yayitali, AASECT idangopereka chilimbikitso chake ku "mgwirizano wogwirizira kukhazikitsa miyezo ya chisamaliro chothandizidwa ndi sayansi, anthu amavomerezana pa zaumoyo ndi kuteteza mwamphamvu ufulu wachiwerewere. ” Izi zikumveka kwa ife ngati AASECT akukankha chidebe panjira.
Ndiye tichite chiyani ndi izi? Ndipo, tikamati "ife," tikutanthauza anthu omwe akulimbana ndi zovuta zolaula omwe ndi omwe amagwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso cha AASECT. Kodi tiyenera kuzigwiritsa ntchito ngati chitsogozo posankha wothandizira? Ngati ndi choncho, ndiwothandiza bwanji ngati akuyembekezera "mgwirizano" kuti amuuze momwe angatithandizire? Mbiri yakale ingatithandize kuyankha mafunso amenewa.
AASECT ndi bungwe lopereka ziphaso kwa akatswiri azaumoyo, makamaka chifukwa cha satifiketi ya "Certified Sex Therapist" ("CST"). AASECT imapikisana kuti ipambane pamsika wa ziphaso kwa akatswiri azaumoyo ndi International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals ("IITAP"). IITAP idakhazikitsidwa ndi Patrick Carnes, bambo wa njira yothandizira "kugonana ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo", komanso woyambitsa Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health ("SASH"). IITAP ndi bungwe lopereka ziphaso za Certified Sex Addiction Therapist ("CSAT").
Mwa kuyankhula kwina, AASECT ndi IITAP ndi otsutsana. "Chitsanzo cha chizolowezi chogonana" chomwe AASECT yakana ndi njira yochiritsira yomwe imalimbikitsidwa ndikuphunzitsidwa ndi IITAP. Pamene AASECT idatsutsa akatswiri okonda kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo omwe akuti alibe "chidziwitso cholondola cha kugonana kwa anthu", mosakayikira inali kunena za akatswiri ophunzitsidwa ndi IITAP, ovomerezeka ndi CSAT. Poganizira izi, kulengeza kwa AASECT kumawoneka ngati mfuti yomwe yaphulitsidwa pankhondo ( yapadera kwambiri ) pakati pa mabungwe opikisana a akatswiri.
Nkhani yofalitsidwa pa webusaiti ya Psychology Today ndi m'modzi mwa akatswiri omwe adalengeza za AASECT, Dr. Michael Aaron, imatsimikizira lingaliro limenelo. Dr. Aaron ali ndi digiri ya Ph.D. kuchokera ku American Academy of Certified Sexologists, ndipo wakhala ndi digiri ya CST ndi AASECT kwa "zaka zoposa zitatu." Mu nkhani yake ya Psychology Today, akufotokoza momwe adatsogolera kuyesetsa kuthana ndi "chinyengo" mkati mwa AASECT yokhudza chithandizo cha chizolowezi chogonana. Dr. Aaron amakhulupirira kuti "chitsanzo cha chizolowezi chogonana" cha chithandizochi "ndi chowononga kwambiri makasitomala" chifukwa chimati chimakhudza "nkhawa zogonana kuchokera ku malingaliro a makhalidwe abwino komanso oweruza." Pachifukwa ichi, amaona "chitsanzo cha chizolowezi chogonana ngati chotsutsana mwachindunji ndi mauthenga okhudza kugonana omwe AASECT ... [ikuyesera] kuwonetsa."
Poona kuti AASECT ikulekerera "chitsanzo cha chizolowezi chogonana" ndi "chinyengo chachikulu", mu 2014 Dr. Aaron adaganiza zochotsa kuchirikiza lingaliro la "chizolowezi chogonana" m'magulu a AASECT. Pofuna kukwaniritsa cholinga chake, Dr. Aaron akuti adabzala dala mkangano pakati pa mamembala a AASECT kuti awulule omwe ali ndi malingaliro omwe sagwirizana ndi ake, kenako adatseka malingaliro amenewo pomwe akuwongolera bungweli kuti likane "chitsanzo cha chizolowezi chogonana." Dr. Aaron adalungamitsa kugwiritsa ntchito "njira zopanduka, zaupandu " izi poganiza kuti anali kutsutsana ndi "makampani opindulitsa" a otsatira "chitsanzo cha chizolowezi chogonana" omwe ali ndi zolimbikitsira zachuma zomwe zingamulepheretse kuwabweretsa kumbali yake ndi nzeru ndi chifukwa. M'malo mwake, kuti achite "kusintha mwachangu" mu "mauthenga" a AASECT, adafuna kuwonetsetsa kuti mawu olimbikitsa chizolowezi chogonana sanaphatikizidwe mokwanira pakukambirana za kusintha kwa njira ya AASECT.
Kudzitama kwa Dr. Aaron kumawoneka ngati kosayenera. Anthu kawirikawiri amanyadira, makamaka kufalitsa, kupondereza zokambirana zamasukulu komanso zasayansi. Ndipo zikuwoneka zosamveka kuti Dr. Aaron adawononga nthawi ndi ndalama kukhala wotsimikizika ndi CST ndi bungwe lomwe adawona kuti ndi "achinyengo kwambiri" patangopita chaka chimodzi atalowa nawo (ngati sichoncho). Ngati zili choncho, ndi Dr. Aaron yemwe amawoneka wachinyengo akamadzudzula omwe amagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo chifukwa chokhala ndi ndalama zogwiritsira ntchito "chizolowezi chogonana", pomwe, mwachiwonekere, ali ndi ndalama zofananira polimbikitsa malingaliro ake otsutsana.
Ndipo kwa ife, zimenezo ndiye chinsinsi chomvetsetsa kufunika kwenikweni kwa chilengezo cha AASECT. Kunyada kwa Dr. Aaron poletsa mkangano ndikupangitsa AASECT kukana "chitsanzo cha chizolowezi chogonana" cha chithandizo n'komveka ngati tikuganiza za khama lake ngati njira yosiyanitsira mitundu. Cholinga chamalonda ndi chinthu chofanana kwa akatswiri onse azachipatala mpaka pamlingo wina. Akatswiri azachipatala ovomerezeka a AASECT amagulitsa ziphaso zawo za CST mofanana ndi momwe akatswiri ovomerezeka a IITAP amagulitsira ziphaso zawo za CSAT. Koma kwa omwe akufuna kugula chithandizo chamankhwala, n'kovuta kusiyanitsa ziphaso ziwirizi. Zonsezi zimafuna kutsatira malamulo okhwima a makhalidwe abwino, kuphatikizapo kusasankhana ndi kuvomereza kusiyanasiyana kwa kugonana. Zonsezi zimagogomezeranso kufunika kolimbikitsa thanzi la kugonana kwa makasitomala. Chani, mawu ofupikitsa a ziphaso ndi ofanana kwambiri.
Kodi zingakhale kuti Dr. Aaron anazindikiranso izi? Popanda kusiyanitsa pakati pa chitsimikizo chake cha CST ndi ziphaso za omwe amapikisana nawo a CSAT, Dr. Aaron mwina adazindikira kuti anali kuchita malonda ndi dzina losavomerezeka lomwe lingasokonezedwe mosavuta ndi malingaliro omwe sanagwirizane nawo. Izi zitha kufotokozera chifukwa chomwe adalumikizana ndi AASECT ("wachinyengo kwambiri" ngakhale zinali choncho), ndipo mwachangu adachita zoyipa komanso zotsutsana zoyendetsa pakati pa AASECT ndi IITAP pankhani yokhudza mutu wokhudza "chiwerewere ndi zolaula". Poganizira za manyazi omwe amapezeka pamawu oti "kusuta", Dr. Aaron adakankhira AASECT kunyoza njira zazitali za omwe amapikisana nawo, IITAP. Zinali zanzeru zandale komanso zamalonda: palibe amene amafuna kuti azitchedwa "osokoneza bongo," bwanji osatanthauzira othandizira aku AASECT ngati anthu omwe angakuchitireni zachiwerewere osakuyitanani?
Zonsezi zikanakhala bwino komanso zokongola ngati AASECT ikanatha kugwiritsa ntchito uthenga wake wonse bwino. Koma, povomereza uthenga wochepetsa kuti "kugonana ndi chizolowezi chogonana si zenizeni", AASECT inalola kuti mawu ake afalitsidwe ngati kukana kwathunthu mfundo yakuti anthu amavutika ndi machitidwe ovuta komanso okakamiza kugonana omwe amawaona ngati chizolowezi. AASECT inawonjezeranso cholakwika chake poyankha funso lofunika kwambiri: momwe chithandizo chovomerezeka ndi CST chingasiyanire ndi chithandizo chokhazikika pa chizolowezi. Ndipo pali kukana kodabwitsa kwa anthu omwe ali kumbali ya AASECT kuti avomereze umboni wa sayansi womwe umathandizira njira yochokera ku chizolowezi chogonana yochokera ku chizolowezi . Mwachidule, pofotokoza kwambiri kukana kwake "chitsanzo cha chizolowezi chogonana," AASECT (mosadziwa, tikukhulupirira) idabzala chisokonezo ndi manyazi ambiri kwa anthu omwe imati akufuna kuthandiza.
Pachifukwa ichi, ife omwe tafunsira akatswiri ophunzitsidwa za "chitsanzo cha chizolowezi chogonana" (ma CSAT, makamaka), tapeza kuti sakuweruza kapena kuweruza kwenikweni. Zomwe takumana nazo zonse ndi zakuti ma CSAT sagwiritsa ntchito manyazi pothetsa machitidwe athu. Amawonetsa chifundo chachikulu, kwenikweni. Chithandizo cha CSAT, m'zokumana nazo zathu, cholinga chake ndi kutithandiza kumvetsetsa momwe ndi chifukwa chake machitidwe athu sali ofunikira, komanso kuthana ndi machitidwe omwe akhala akuwononga kwambiri zinthu zomwe timasamala nazo. Pachifukwa ichi, tikukayikira kuti tingapeze njira yofanana yomwe imagwiritsidwa ntchito mu chithandizo chovomerezeka cha CST (ndipo tikupempha aliyense wodziwa bwino nkhaniyi kuti apereke ndemanga pansipa). Inde, akatswiri ovomerezedwa ndi CSAT angagwiritse ntchito mawu oti chizolowezi chothetsa mavuto athu. Koma zoona zake, pofika nthawi yomwe ambiri a ife timafunafuna thandizo, sitisamala kwambiri za mayina. Timangofuna thandizo lolamulira khalidwe lowononga, kudzimva chisoni komanso manyazi omwe atenga miyoyo yathu. Ambiri aife tapeza chitonthozo popatsa vuto lathu dzina - ngakhale dzinalo ndi "chizolowezi".
Mfundo yofunika: Kulengeza kwa AASECT kungakhale " kwambiri " kwa akatswiri ovomerezeka a AASECT, koma kwa ife omwe tingathe kugwiritsa ntchito mautumiki awo, sikumveka kothandiza kwambiri. Ngati AASECT ikufunadi kupanga kusiyana kwakukulu pamsika wa chithandizo, iyenera kulengeza momwe akatswiri ake amaphunzitsidwira kuthana ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi kugonana ndi kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula molakwika. M'malo motiuza momwe chithandizo cha "chizolowezi chogonana" chomwe takhala tikulandira chilili "choipa" (mosiyana ndi zomwe ambiri a ife takumana nazo), iyenera kutiuza momwe njira yake yothandizira ina ingakhalire yabwinoko. Ndipo, m'malo monyalanyaza kwathunthu kafukufuku wasayansi womwe ukuwoneka kuti ukutsutsana ndi malo ake pa kulumikizana pakati pa khalidwe logonana losalamulirika ndi chizolowezi, AASECT iyenera kufotokoza chifukwa chake ikutsutsana ndi kafukufukuyo.
Mpaka nthawiyo, tikhala osamala kugula chilichonse chomwe AASECT ikugulitsa.