Achinyamata ambiri amaonera zolaula pa intaneti nthawi yayitali asanakumane ndi zochitika zogonana. Izi zimasintha momwe amachitira ndi kugonana kwawo. Nayi nkhani ya Daniel.
MUNICH — Mantha ndi bwenzi la Daniel nthawi zonse. Kuopa kubwereranso ku zizolowezi zake zakale zoledzera sikoyenera chifukwa zingakhale zosavuta.
Chizolowezi chake sichili pa mankhwala osokoneza bongo, mowa kapena kugula zinthu, koma zolaula. Ngakhale zithunzi za akazi ovala bikini mu malonda amasewera ndizokwanira kusokoneza mgwirizano womwe Daniel adakwanitsa kudzipangira yekha mothandizidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Anakwanitsa kupeza dipuloma yake ya sekondale chaka chatha, koma kudzera mu maphunziro achinsinsi, komanso polowa nawo gulu lothandizira anthu omwe ali ndi chizolowezi choonera zolaula. Anakhala zaka zambiri akuyang'ana laputopu yake, akuonera zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche mpaka katatu patsiku. Dokotala wake akuti ayenera kunyada kuti wapulumuka mavuto oopsa. Koma Daniel samadzikuza, amangomva manyazi.
Amagwira ntchito ku Café masiku ano kuti asungire ndalama ndikusamukira ku Australia, kuyenda ndi kuyendayenda, koma koposa zonse kuziiwala.
Achinyamata nthawi zonse amakhala ndi mwayi wowonera zochitika zogonana chifukwa amafuna kudziwa zomwe mungachite mukugonana, komanso koposa zonse, momwe kugonana kumagwirira ntchito. Mibadwo ya achinyamata yawerenga masamba a Playboy ndi magazini ena kuti akwaniritse zosowa zawo zokhudzana ndi nkhaniyi. Koma masiku ano, ana azaka 12 akuonera kale mafilimu olaula pa intaneti ndikuchita maliseche akamaonera. Palibe boma lililonse la Germany lomwe layikapo nkhani ya zolaula mu silabasi, ngakhale kuti pafupifupi 40% ya ana azaka 11-13 adawonapo zithunzi kapena mafilimu olaula kamodzi m'miyoyo yawo. Amatumizirana mafilimu olaula omwe angawonetse anthu akugonana ndi nyama kapena mkazi akugonana ndi amuna asanu nthawi imodzi.
Koma kodi izi zimawakhudza motani achinyamata? Kodi Daniel ndi yekhayo kapena kodi nkhani yake ikuyimira zochitika zowopsa? Klaus Beier, yemwe ndi katswiri wochita zachiwerewere ku Berlin, ananena kuti “kungakhale kupanda nzeru kukhulupirira kuti kuonera mafilimu olaula kumawakhudza kwambiri achinyamata. Zochita za anthu [zojambulidwa mufilimu ndi pazithunzi] zimakopedwa ndikusungidwa muubongo. ”
Mkangano woti zolaula zimafooketsa kapena ayi, wakhalapo kwa zaka zambiri. Asayansi, mpaka pano, sankadziwa kuchuluka kwa momwe kuonera zolaula kumakhudzira achinyamata komanso chifukwa chake achinyamata ena amakhala okonda kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pomwe ena sadziwa. Kafukufuku watsopano wasonyeza kuti kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula tsiku lililonse sikunangowonjezeka pakati pa achinyamata komanso kuti kungayambitse vuto la kugonana. Kafukufuku wina wa ku Sweden wasonyeza kuti achinyamata omwe amaonera zolaula tsiku lililonse nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mikangano ndi makolo awo, amamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo ambiri ndipo amavutika ndi kuvutika maganizo kwambiri kuposa anzawo omwe saonera zolaula.
Poyamba tinalumikizana ndi Danieli kudzera pa webusaiti ya Germany yomwe idaperekedwa ku zolaula zomwe anyamata akukambirana za kukhumudwa kwawo pamene akuwonerera zolaula nthawi iliyonse yamasana kapena usiku koma amalephera kugonana ndi anthu enieni. Maubwenzi awo amavutika chifukwa sangathe kukonzedwa pamene ali ndi anzawo, koma pokhapokha akuwonerera zolaula.
Daniel anayamba kusuta chamba kuti asangalale, kumangokhalira kumangokhalira kumangokhalira kumangokhalira kumangokhalira kukhumudwa. Mkalasi yake inayamba kunjenjemera chifukwa chakuti ankachita zolaula ali m'kalasi. Makolo ake ndi aphunzitsi ake ankadandaula chifukwa iwo analephera kupita naye kwa iye ndipo anamutumizira imelo yosamalitsa. Imelo inafuna kuti amutsimikizire kuti kukhala wachinyamata kunali kovuta kwa iwo, nawonso, ndipo iwo akufuna kuti akhale ndi wina woti aziyankhula naye. Imelo imakhudzana ndi mawebusaiti a othandizira, omwe amadziwika bwino pa achinyamata.
Kodi amadziwa kusiyana pakati pa filimu ndi zenizeni?
Akatswiri a zachiwerewere, aphunzitsi ndi makolo amalankhula za "zolaula za m'badwo," za m'badwo womwe umakula ndi mafilimu olaula ndipo umadziwa, kale kwambiri usanakhale ndi zokumana nazo zawo zogonana koyamba, zomwe kugonana ndi magulu a anthu kumatanthauza, mwachitsanzo. Kuwonetsa kwa makampani opanga zolaula kukuwonetsa achinyamata kuti amuna ayenera kukhala ndi mbolo zazikulu komanso kuti akazi "ndi zinthu zongoyendetsedwa ndi chilakolako ndipo sangakwanire kulowa ndi umuna," akutero Pulofesa Beier.
Kotero, izi zimachita chiyani kwa achinyamata? Kodi onsewo ali pangozi yoti ayang'anire zomwe Daniel adayenera kudutsa, kapena amadziwa kusiyana pakati pa filimu ndi zenizeni?
Beier, yemwe akutsogolera bungwe la Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine ku Berlin Charité, akuti zaka zathu ndizapadera chifukwa "m'badwo wathunthu umakula" ndi makanema osonyeza momwe kugonana "kumayendera". Achinyamata ambiri amafotokoza zakulephera kwawo kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa chogwiritsa ntchito zolaula. Koma Beier ali wotsimikiza kuti "ogwiritsa ntchito ambiri" zolaula pa intaneti akudziwa kuti zenizeni zakugonana ndi "zosiyana kwambiri" ndi zomwe zimawonetsedwa pa zolaula.
Daniel anali ndi zaka 12 pomwe adadina pa Youporn, imodzi mwamawebusayiti opambana kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi, koyamba. Anapeza tsamba la webusayiti m'malo osambiramo anyamata kusukulu, atazungulira khoma la cubicle. Adadabwitsidwa komanso adadzutsidwa ndi zomwe adawona komanso kufunikira kwake kwatsopano posakhalitsa. Anakhala maola ambiri patsogolo pa laputopu yake ndipo nkhawa zake zidachepa molingana ndi nthawi yomwe amakhala pamaso pa kompyuta yake. Choipa chake chinali chakuti "crasser" omwe adawonetsedwa m'makanemawa. Kuzungulira koipa.
Kafukufuku wosiyanasiyana wochitidwa ku California ndi ku Europe akuwonetsa kuti kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula tsiku lililonse kumabweretsa kuvutika maganizo, chiwawa, kusaganizira bwino komanso matenda okhudzana ndi kugonana. Malinga ndi kafukufukuyu, vuto la kugonana mwa amuna osakwana zaka 20 lawonjezeka kwambiri.
Ena akufuna kuthana ndi vutoli pogwiritsa ntchito njira zomwe amati "njira zopanda pake." No-fap ndi liwu logwirizana ndi verebu "kukula," mawu aku America osonyeza kuseweretsa maliseche. Njira ya no-fap imaphatikizapo kusayang'ana zolaula zilizonse osatinso kuseweretsa maliseche. Daniel adayendera tsamba la no-fap atatha kugwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "zolaula" komanso "chizolowezi" ndipo adadabwa kuwona kuti ndi mawebusayiti angati omwe akukambirana nkhaniyi. Daniel adaganiza zopita kuzizira kwa mwezi umodzi ndipo adalengeza cholinga chake patsamba lino kuti adzikakamize kuti adziwone, ndipo adazindikira masiku ochepa kuti asakhale chete ndipo pamapeto pake anali ndi mwayi wamaganizidwe ena.
Wothandizira Marlene Henning alinso ndi chidziwitso pakuwonongeka komwe zolaula zimatha. Mnyamata wina wodwala posachedwa adamuwuza kuti "ndife mbadwo womwe umagunda ndi dzanja lamanzere pomwe lamanja likuwongolera mbewa." Amadziwikanso pophunzitsa ana zakugonana m'masukulu ndipo nthawi zina amadabwitsidwa ndi mafunso omwe ana achichepere amafunsidwa mosadziwika omwe amaphunzira asanapite kusukulu.
Mwana wake ali ndi zaka 16 ndikusewera makadi ndi anzawo kunyumba adawafunsa ngati akuwonera zolaula pa intaneti. Mwana wake woyamba ndiye adayankha, "Amayi, tikudziwa kuti izi si zenizeni!" Koma mnzake wina adati "nthawi zonse ndikagonana, ndimakhala ndi zithunzi zolaula m'mutu mwanga." Wina adaonjezeranso kuti "atsikana amaganiza kuti ayenera kuchita ngati atsikana m'mafilimu olaula."
Daniel, tsopano 18, akuganiza kuti wasweka khalidwe lake loyipa, ndipo ngakhale ali ndi chibwenzi chokhazikika, ngakhale kuti nthawi zina amavutika. Koma ndiko kubwereza komwe kumamulimbikitsanso kuti asiye zolaula.
Kulemba kwake komaliza pamsonkhano waku Germany "no-fap" kudalembedwa zaka ziwiri zapitazo, ndipo ndi kalata yayitali yotsanzikana. Adalemba za nthawi yomwe adapeza Youporn, kusungulumwa komwe kumabwera, kumverera kokhala pansi panthaka kwazaka zambiri. Koma Daniel adalongosolanso kuthawa kwake: "Kupeza anthu amalingaliro ofanana ndi zomwe zidandipulumutsa."