Nthawi zina mumamva nkhani yovuta kwambiri, imakana kuchoka m'malingaliro anu, ziribe kanthu momwe mukupempherera molimbika kuti achoke. Ndinauzidwa nkhani imodzi posachedwa ndi dokotala wa banja. Owerenga a chikhalidwe cha squeamish, yang'anani kutali tsopano.
Ndinali kudya chakudya chamadzulo pamodzi ndi gulu la amai pamene zokambiranazo zinalimbikitsa momwe tingakhalire ana osangalala, oyenerera bwino omwe angathe kupanga maubwenzi ogwirizana pamene zolaula za pa intaneti zasintha malingaliro aunyamata omwe sadziwika.
Amayi angapo akuti adadzikakamiza kuti akambirane mochititsa manyazi ndi achinyamata awo pankhaniyi. "Ndikufuna mwana wanga adziwe kuti, ngakhale atawona pa laputopu yake, pali zinthu zomwe simukuyembekezera kuti mtsikana angachite tsiku loyamba, kapena lachisanu, kapena mwina sangatero," adatero Jo.
Dokotala wina, tiyeni timutche kuti Sue, adati: "Ndikuwopa kuti zinthu zafika poipa kwambiri kuposa momwe anthu amaganizira."
ASHAMED
M'zaka zaposachedwa, Sue adachiritsa atsikana ambiri omwe ali ndi zovulala zamkati zomwe zimachitika chifukwa chogonana pafupipafupi; osati, monga Sue anadziwira, chifukwa chakuti anafuna kutero, kapena chifukwa chakuti anasangalala nazo, koma chifukwa chakuti mnyamata anali kuyembekezera iwo. Sue anati: “Ndikusiyani ndi zinthu zoopsa, koma atsikanawa ndi achichepere kwambiri ndipo ndi ocheperako ndipo matupi awo sanapangidwe kuti atero.”
Odwala ake anali ndi manyazi kwambiri pakuwonetsa kuvulala koteroko. Adanamiza amayi awo za izi ndikuwona kuti sangathe kuuza wina aliyense, zomwe zidangowonjezera kuvutika kwawo. Sue atawafunsa zambiri, adati adachititsidwa manyazi ndi zomwe adakumana nazo koma samangomva kuti angakane. Kugonana kwamiseche kunali koyenera pakati pa achinyamata tsopano, ngakhale atsikanawo amadziwa kuti zimapweteka.
Kunali chete modabwitsika pathebulo, ngakhale ndikuganiza kuti enafe titha kulira modandaula ndikukayika. Opaleshoni ya Sue siili mkati mwa mzinda wankhanza koma m'dera lokhalamo masamba.
Atsikana omwe anali ndi chizoloŵezi chosadziletsa anali kawirikawiri pansi pa kuvomereza komanso kuchokera kunyumba zachikondi, zokhazikika. Ndi mtundu wa ana omwe, mibadwo iwiri yapitayi, akanakhala akukondwera ndi masewera ndi masewera a ballet, ndipo akuyembekezerabe kupsompsona kwawo, osakakamizidwa ndi mwana wamwamuna yemwe adatenga maganizo ake okhudza chiyanjano chakuthupi kuchokera kuvidiyo pafoni yake.
Zovulaza sikuti zimangokhala thupi. Malinga ndi kafukufuku waposachedwapa, chiwerengero cha atsikana omwe ali pachiopsezo cha mavuto a m'maganizo chachuluka kwambiri.
Asayansi kwa Journal of Health Adolescent adadabwa kuwona kuchuluka kwa 7% mzaka zisanu zokha pakati pa atsikana azaka za 11 mpaka 13 akufotokozera zakukhosi kwawo. Anyamata amakhalabe okhazikika pomwe atsikana amakumana ndi "zovuta zapadera".
Ochita kafukufuku adanena kuti zomwe zimayambitsa zikhoza kukhala zomwe zimachititsa kuti thupi likhale lopanda phindu, kupitilizidwa ndi mafilimu ndi machitidwe okhudzana ndi kugonana kwa atsikana.
Atsikana nthawi zonse amadya njala kuti akhale okondedwa, kapena mwina kuti adzichepetse okha. Chomwe chatsopano ndi choopsa ndi kukhoza kutumiza selfies, ndiye kuyembekezera kuti chivomerezo chibwere.
'CHIKHALIDWE CHACHIPANGIZO'
Simuyenera kukhala nthawi yayitali ndi msungwana wosatetezeka (pali mtundu wina uliwonse?) Kuti muwone kuti chisangalalo chake chimamangiriridwa kwambiri kuti apeze zomwe amakonda kapena zikondwerero zazing'ono pa Facebook kapena Instagram. Tengani kusungika kwachikazi kuja, kuluka ndikukulitsa mu intaneti Hall of Mirrors, onjezerani kulakalaka kuti mukhale "oyenera" komanso otchuka, kenako mupeze chikhalidwe cholaula ndipo muli ndi njira yoti hellish atsikana okhumudwa, ozunzidwa.
Amalongosola chifukwa chake oposa anayi mu atsikana a 10 pakati pa 13 ndi 17 ku England amati adakakamizika kuchita zachiwerewere, malinga ndi umodzi mwa mayankho akuluakulu a ku Ulaya pazochitika za achinyamata.
Kafukufuku wopangidwa ndi mayunivesite a Bristol ndi Central Lancashire adatsimikiza kuti wachisanu mwa atsikana adachitidwapo nkhanza kapena kuwopsezedwa ndi zibwenzi zachinyamata, omwe ambiri mwa iwo amakhala akuonera zolaula, m'modzi mwa asanu ali ndi "malingaliro olakwika kwambiri kwa akazi".
Zotsatira zomaliza ndizomwe Sue amawona ngati GP. Atsikana achichepere - ana, kwenikweni - omwe amadzichepetsera kuti achite mwanjira yolakwika, yolaula.
Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina wa achichepere aku Britain, zambiri zomwe achinyamata adakumana nazo zogonana kumatako zidachitika ali pachibwenzi, koma "sizimachitika kawirikawiri mukawunikiranso chisangalalo chogonana". M'malo mwake, anali anyamata omwe adakankhira atsikana kuti ayesere, pomwe anyamata adanenanso kuti akumva kuti "akuyembekezeka" kutenga udindowu.
Kuphatikiza apo, amuna ndi akazi amayembekezera kuti amuna azisangalala ndi zochitikazi pomwe akazi amayembekezeredwa "kupirira zovuta monga zowawa kapena mbiri yoipa".
PHUNZITSANI NDIPONSO MUZIKHALA
Simukuyenera kukhala okopa chidwi cha a Mary Whitehouse kuti mumve kuti china chake chasokonekera pano. Ndikupulumukirabe kwa mphunzitsi pakoleji ya mwana wanga wachisanu ndi chimodzi akundiuza kuti amaganiza kuti pafupifupi mmodzi mwa atsikana atatu mchaka chake anali opsinjika kapena amadzivulaza.
Amayi okhwima amatha kupanga malingaliro awo pazomwe ali okonzeka kuchita pakama. Imeneyo ndi nkhani yachinsinsi pakati pa akulu akulu ovomera, ngakhale sindikudziwa mzimayi m'modzi yemwe amaganiza kuti mwamuna amene amalimbikira kugonana kumatako sichinthu china chokhacho chokhazikitsa nkhanza. Kwa atsikana osadziwa zambiri ndi nkhani ina.
Ngakhale zili zochititsa manyazi, tifunikira kuphunzitsa ndi kulimbitsa ana athu aakazi kuti amenyane ndi zolaula, zomwe zikuvutitsa khalidwe la anyamata omwe akuyenera kukhala okonda anzawo, osati okonda anzawo.
Chilichonse chomwe chimakupweteketsani komanso kukuchititsani manyazi sichili bwino. Ndikulangiza kuti makalasi ophunzitsira zakugonana amtsogolo ayambe ndi nthabwala iyi: “Ndidafunsa mkazi wanga kuti ayese kugonana kumatako. 'Inde,' iye anati: 'Choyamba.' ”
PS: Ndinalembera mwana wanga wachinyamata malingaliro ake. Adandiyankha kuti: "Zowona zambiri pankhaniyi. Ndikuganiza kuti kukayikiridwa ndi vuto lalikulu kwambiri m'badwo wangawu. ”
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