Rachel Hosie
Kuledzera sikumakhala matenda. Koma izi sizimayimitsa amuna - chifukwa ndi amuna makamaka - azaka zonse padziko lonse lapansi omwe akuwoneka kuti amakonda zolaula.
Kusagwirizana kwa Erectile pakati pa anyamata akukula, koma maganizo amagawanika ngati izi ndi zotsatira za zolaula kapena kungodula.
Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti zolaula zimaphatikizapo za 25 peresenti ya zopempha zonse zofufuzira ndipo zimakhudza ubongo mofanana ndi mankhwala.
Ikhoza kuthetsa ubale, moyo wa kugonana ndikumayambitsa mavuto a umoyo waumphawi koma kwa amuna ambiri, zikuwoneka kuti n'zosatheka kusiya. Komabe ena ali nawo.
Pali gulu la amuna a ' PornFree ' pa Reddit komwe anthu omwe asiya zolaula amathandiza anthu omwe akulimbana ndi vuto la chizolowezi chogonana. Ndi zosiyana ndi gulu lodziwika bwino la 'NoFap', lomwe mamembala ake asiya kudziseweretsa maliseche.
"Anthu ambiri a NoFap ndi 'ochuluka' poyerekeza ndi a PornFree subreddit," wofalitsa nkhani wamba Jack* adafotokozera The Independent.
"Ndikuganiza kuti anthu angalumikizane kwambiri ndi zam'mbuyomu, chifukwa sitikhulupirira kuti kuseweretsa maliseche palokha ndi chinthu choyipa, zolaula zamasiku ano pomwe amuna amatha kukhala ndi anzawo ochuluka mu ola limodzi kuposa momwe akadakhala nawo pamoyo wathu pomwe ubongo wathu unayamba kusinthika . ”
Ndipo amuna omwe agonjetsa zoledzeretsa zawo amafunadi kuwathandiza popereka malangizo awo.
"Cholinga changa m'madera ngati awa ndikupangitsa anthu kumva kuti ali bwino kuthana ndi vutoli," membala wa PornFree, Jason*, yemwe posachedwapa wadutsa chizindikiro cha zaka ziwiri chopanda zolaula, adauza The Independent . "Kuti palibe vuto kukhala ndi [chizolowezi choonera zolaula] ndikuvomereza.
"Chifukwa kuchokera kumaonekedwe akunja, ndipo tikayankhula izi kuchokera pazomwe takumana nazo, ndizodzipatula kwambiri."
Monga anthu ambiri ammudzimo, sanauze aliyense kuti amadziwa za chizolowezi chake koma adalimbikitsidwa kuti: "Ndinkachita mantha kwambiri kuti ndiwoneke ngati wamng'ono," anatero Jason.
Amuna ambiri ali ndi nkhani zofanana komanso zifukwa zomwe zimapangitsa kuti asiye kuonera zolaula. Kwa ena, ndi kutopa kodzimva ngati kapolo wa chinthu chomwe simungathe kuchilamulira: "Chimene chinandipangitsa kusiya kuonera zolaula chinali chakuti ndinali nditatopa ndi kukhala ndi vuto la chizolowezi chogonana ndi amuna," Dave* wazaka 44 wochokera ku Florida adauza The Independent.
Kwa Jacob wa zaka 21 wa ku Idaho, kunali kuzindikira kuti zolaula zinali kuwononga ubale wake, kusiya chibwenzi chake "kukhala wosatetezeka ndi wosasamala."
Iye anafotokoza kuti, "Ndinkangokhalira kufuula kuti ndikapeze munthu wina amene ndimamukonda," anawonjezera kuti, "Amafuna kuti zithunzi zolaula zisamayesetsedwe panthawi yomwe anali ndi mavuto komanso ankaganiza kuti azipita ku zolaula zingasinthe. moyo wake wa kugonana.
George, yemwe ali ndi zaka zakukoleji, anayamba kugwiritsa ntchito PornFree atayamba kale kulowa nawo gulu la NoFap koma kenako anazindikira kuti zinali zonyanyira kwambiri: “Ndaganiza zosintha kugwiritsa ntchito PornFree chifukwa ndayamba kukhulupirira kuti maliseche ndi abwino ndipo zolaula ndiye vuto,” adafotokozera The Independent.
Amuna amalankhulana za zolaula momwe adakambirananso zakumwa mowa mwauchidakwa. Ndipo mofanana ndi kuyesa kusiya kusuta, sikophweka.
Kwa Dave, yemwe anali akuonera zolaula kwazaka zoposa 30, zinali "zovuta kwambiri." Anayamba kuonera zolaula ali ndi zaka 12, zomwe sizocheperako pang'ono. Jacob anali wazaka zofananira - adayamba kupeza zolaula wazaka zisanu ndi zitatu kapena zisanu ndi zinayi, koma sanayambe kuziwona bwino mpaka anali 13.
"Kupereka zolaula ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri zomwe ndidachitapo," akutero. "Lero sindimakonda kuonera zolaula ndipo ndachita bwino kwambiri kuti ndichiritse, koma mwatsoka sindinachiritsidwe kwathunthu ndipo nthawi zina ndimabwereranso."
Jacob akufotokoza kuti kubwereranso kwa amuna omwe amasiya zolaula kumatha kuwonekera m'njira zosiyanasiyana - anthu ena amasowa ntchito kapena kusukulu ndikupita ku zolaula zolaula, mwachitsanzo, monga munthu amene adya zakudya amaganiza kuti atha kulima paketi yonse ya makeke titangokhala ndi imodzi.
"Inemwini, zomwe ndimachita mobwerezabwereza zimakhala zowonera kanema imodzi kapena zitatu patsiku osapitilira masiku atatu nthawi imodzi," akuvomereza Jacob. "Ndidi chizolowezi kwa ine, koma mwamwayi, chomwe sichimasokoneza moyo wanga."
Koma George, yemwe wakhala akuwonerera zolaula kuyambira ali ndi 11 ndipo sanazidziwe bwino, anapeza kuti kusiya zolaula n'kosavuta kusiyana ndi kusiya kugonana, ndipo akukonzekera kuthetsa kachilombo kachiwiri pamene ali ndi chibwenzi.
"[Kugonjetsa zolaula] kumakhala kovuta kwambiri kusiyana ndi kusiya ndudu kapena zovuta zina zomwe zimafala masiku ano chifukwa kuyang'ana zolaula n'kosavuta kuchita popanda ndalama," akutero.
George amayesa nthawi yayitali kuti asayang'ane zolaula mu "streaks" ndipo amakhulupirira kuti kuzipereka ndizovuta mobwerezabwereza monga kusiya heroin.
Komabe amuna onse omwe akukhalanso ndi moyo wopanda zolaula tsopano ali pafupifupi evangelical phindu losiya zolaula.
Jack akuti "ali bwino popanda izo pamagulu ambiri."
"Ndine wolimba mtima, wotengeka mtima, wolimbikitsidwa komanso wokhutira ndi moyo," atero a Jacob. Akuwonjezera kuti machitidwe ake ogonana asintha, amayamikiranso kwambiri amayi (ndi anthu onse) komanso ubongo womveka bwino.
Imodzi mwa njira zomwe Dave adasinthira kuyambira atasiya zolaula ndikuti ubale wake ndi achibale ake "zakula bwino."
Akuti "ndiwodzipereka kwambiri pakukula kwake, amagona bwino, wasintha kwambiri kuntchito ndipo salinso kuthawa mantha ake:" Moyo wanga sulinso za ine, koma pazomwe ndingachite kuti ndisinthe kulikonse komwe ndili. ”
Ndipo onse akuyamikira pulogalamuyi pa Reddit ndi kupambana kwawo.
"Bungwe la PornFree lakhala lokhala ndi chiyembekezo, chilimbikitso, ndi chilimbikitso kwa ine," akuvomereza James. "Izo zandithandiza kuzindikira makhalidwe anga oipa, kulandira zolephera zanga ndikupereka gulu la anthu omwe ali mu bwato lomwelo monga inu.
"Chothandiza kwambiri pagulu la PornFree ndi mpumulo kuti sindili ndekha, ndipo ndili ndi malo oti ndithandizire ndikukambirana ndi anthu ena osokoneza bongo."
Pulogalamu ya PornFree ndi yochepa kwambiri kuposa NoFap imodzi, ndi olemba 29,000 poyerekeza ndi 227,000. Koma n'zosadabwitsa kuti zimagwirizana komanso zimathandiza kwambiri.
"Masiku oyambirira kuti ndithe kuchira, kunali kofunika kwambiri podziwa kuti sindinali ndekha komanso ndikuthandizana ndi ena," anatero Dave.
Amuna onse omwe timalankhula nawo amati adzakonzeratu kupereka zolaula kwa aliyense, ndipo zingakhale zovuta kumva nkhani zawo ndikusaona kuti akuzizwa.
Jacob akukhulupirira kuti kusiya zolaula kumafuna kuti uzidziuza moona mtima kuti: "Kuvomereza kuti ndiwe osokoneza bongo, kusankha zomwe ungachite pamoyo wako ndikutsatira malamulo ako okhwima ndizovuta kwambiri," akutero, ndikuwonjeza kuti kusiya zolaula kuli ndi zambiri maubwino amisala ndi matupi a aliyense, osuta kapena ayi.
Dave amavomereza, koma kuganiza kuti kungosiya zonyansa sikokwanira: "Anthu omwe amapereka izi amafunikanso kufufuza chifukwa chake akuyambanso kudya. Ayenera kuwongolera kugwiritsa ntchito ndi zizolowezi zabwino.
"Akufunika kupanga malumikizano ndi anthu enieni. Kugwira ntchito popititsa ubale ndi anthu n'kofunika kuti pakhale chitsimikizo cha nthawi yaitali. "
Kumapeto kwa tsiku, maliseche ndi achibadwa ndipo amuna ndi akazi akhala akuchita izi kwa zaka mazana (mwinamwake). Komabe, zolaula, makamaka momwe tikudziwira tsopano, ndi zatsopano zamakono.
George adauza The Independent kuti anyamata ambiri abwenzi ake achichepere anali kuganiza zogwiritsa ntchito viagra kuti achiritse vuto lawo la kugonana. Koma atamulangiza kuti asiye kuseweretsa maliseche kapena zolaula, mavuto awo anatha.
Koma kwa George iyemwini, vuto lamaganizidwe ndiye chifukwa chachikulu choyesera kusiya zolaula: "Mukadzilola kuti muzimva zowawa zosiya zolaula, mudzakhala ofunitsitsa kulandira zowawa zina monga kukhala wolimba mtima kwa anthu, kugwira ntchito molimbika, kugwira ntchito kunja ndi zinthu zina zomwe simukufuna kuchita.
“Komanso, bwanji mukuwonera zolaula mukamatha kukhala kunja kwa atsikana? Izi zingamupangitse munthu kukhala wosangalala kwambiri m'kupita kwanthawi kuposa mapikiselo ena a pakink. "
* Mayina asinthidwa