Kodi chimachitika n'chiyani mukamayang'ana zolaula n'kuyamba kuledzera, kenako n'kuyamba kuwonongeka? Martin Daubney akuyankhula kwa mnyamata yemwe moyo wake unasokonekera
Rundeep, 23, ndilo lotola zithunzi zolaula: mmodzi mwa anthu khumi aliwonse a ogwiritsa ntchito zithunzi zolaula amayamba kukhala opindulitsa, omwe amapindula: mwa iye, atsikana operekeza.
Rundeep, wochokera ku Birmingham, sadziwa kwenikweni ndalama zomwe amagwiritsa ntchito pazochitika zogonana kwenikweni. Koma atagwiritsa ntchito atsikana a 900 pafupipafupi £ 50 nthawi, kuyerekezera mwachidwi kungathe kuziyika m'dera la £ 45,000.
Anthu akamati: "Kodi ojambula zithunzi amawononga ndalama bwanji popereka zolaula?" Rundeep ndi yankho la moyo, kupuma.
Ndinakumana ndi Rundeep mu October 2013 nditangomaliza kujambula filimu yanga ya Channel 4 TV, Porn On The Brain. Ndinkakhala ndi mlungu wovuta komanso wamtundu wina waumulungu (komanso wina wazaka 19 wazaka zam'mbuyo "wotchedwa Calum") ku Hall Recovery Course, malo okhala "zithunzi zolaula" adayendetsedwa ndi Paula Hall. chizolowezi chogwiritsira ntchito maganizo.
Lero, ndidzakhala ndikufunsa Rundeep pompopompo pa siteji ku Southbank Centre's Women of the World Festival . Ndinamukakamiza kuti abwere chifukwa amafalitsa nthano ya momwe "wokonda zolaula" kapena kugonana amaonekera: ndi wokongola, wamanyazi, wolankhula bwino, amagwira ntchito nthawi zonse, komanso wamba.
Ndinkafuna kuti ndiwonetsetse kuti amayi ambiri omwe ali omvera, omwe amamvetsera zachiwerewere ndi abambo, amakhala "oledzera" osadetsedwa, okonda akazi, ndi odana ndi nkhanza zogonana, koma akhoza kukhala achichepere omwe angathe kuchitidwa molakwika komanso kuwonongeka ndi malonda.
Ngakhale kuti vuto la Rundeep ndi loopsa kwambiri, zolaula zingathetsere anthu kukhala ozunzidwa. Nayi nkhani yake.
"Ndinayamba kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula nditasiya sukulu ku 16 ndi hafu, chifukwa aliyense anali kuchita izo. Koma sizinandipatse mokwanira. Ndinayang'ana pa atsikana olaula ndikuganiza kuti ndikufuna kugonana nawo, osati kungowaona okha.
"Kenaka ndinawona malonda ang'onoang'ono pa webusaiti ya XVideos.com kuti, 'Pezani atsikana a m'deralo.' Ndinajambula pang'onopang'ono pa imodzi ndikunditumizira kumalo osungiramo amsungwana kumene atsikana ankakhala nawo ngati munawapatsa.
"Ndinkachita mantha poyamba - mpaka £ 100 kwa theka la ora zinaoneka ngati ndalama zopusa, koma ndinaganiza zodzipangira pa tsiku la kubadwa kwanga kwa 18th ku wanga woperekeza woyamba.
"Ndinakumana naye ku hotela 20 Mphindi kutali ndi kumene ndimakhala ndikulipira £ 80 kwa theka la ora. Ndimangokhala ndi chibwibwi chachikulu. Sindingathe kuganiza chilichonse. Ndinalamulidwa: ndamangidwa. Ine sindinayambe nditachita chirichonse chonga icho, icho chinali chopenga.
"Pasanapite nthawi, zolaula sizinali kundichitira. Ndili ndi maulendo oposa ambiri. Pakutha masabata asanu ndi awiri kapena asanu ndi atatu, izo zatha. Ndimayenda ulendo wonse ku Manchester kamodzi pa sabata ndikupereka msungwana yemweyo £ 100 nthawi. Ndinkapezeka ku Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham, Leeds - Ndinawapeza pamalo onsewa.
"Mwezi uli wonse ndimakhala ndikujambula ndalama, koma sindinauze aliyense zomwe ndikuchita. Ndinali ndikukhala pakhomo ndikuwononga malipiro anga onse - mwezi umodzi - ndikupita kumalo ena.
"Kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, mmodzi wa atsikanawo anati, 'Bwanji iwe sudziona zolaula? M'malo mogwiritsa ntchito ndalama mungapange ndalama '. Iwo anandiuza kuti akhoza kupeza ndalama zokwana £ 3000 pa sabata, ndipo zonse ndizo ndalama.
"Ndikutha kuona chifukwa chake anthu angalowemo. Ndalama, ndalama, zimangokhalira kumwa mankhwala. Kulipidwa kuti ndizigonana ndi nyenyezi zolaula - Sindingaganize za ntchito yabwino yomwe. Ndinaganiza kuti, 'Mwina izi zikutanthauza kukhala?' chifukwa sindinathe kulamulira. Ndinayankhula ndi nyenyezi zingapo zolaula ndipo anandilimbikitsa kuti ndizichita. Ndinakonza mpikisano koma sindinayambe. Sindinkafuna kuti ndiwononge mbiri yanga panthawi ina.
"Ine ndinayamba kugwa kwa atsikana mmodzi ndipo ndinamufunsa iye kunja. Iye anali wokwatira-ine sindimadziwa izo. Koma adagawanika ndi iye ndipo tinapereka kwa milungu ingapo. Koma adakali woperekeza ndipo sakanatha - adamupangira moyo.
"Zinandikwiyitsa koma chibwenzi cha pulogalamu ya zolaula chinali chachikulu. Amuna anga ankaganiza kuti ndine nthano. Ndinazindikira, ndinali ndi moyo umene ndinkafuna ndi mtsikana wokongola ndipo anandipatsa kugonana kwakukulu. Sindinapemphe zambiri.
"Koma sizinagwire ntchito. Ndinkafuna kukhala pansi, ndinkafuna ana, koma sanatero. Anali 32 ndipo ndinali 20.
"Nthawi iliyonse yomwe ndimagwiritsa ntchito kupititsa, ndinkakhala ndikukwera, ndipo ndimatuluka, koma theka la ola litapita. Ndiye, ine ndinkafuna wina. Atsikanawo ankaganiza kuti ndine wopenga. Usiku wambiri ndimagwiritsa ntchito atsikana anai kapena asanu ndikuwombera ndalama zanga zonse. Sindinatope, ndinkafuna zambiri, ngakhale pambuyo pachisanu. Ndinkadziwa kuti sizingatheke.
"Kupanikizika kwa ngongole ndi anthu omwe akundiyitanira kuti ndipeze ndalama kunakhala kwakukulu kwambiri moti ndinaganiza zodziponyera ndekha. Ndinavutika maganizo kwambiri. Ndinali ndi ngongole kwa anzanga zikwi zambiri ndipo ndinkangokhalira kukangana.
"Zinthu ziwiri zomwe zinandipulumutsa ine ndikupita pa TV ndi bokosi. Kupita pa TV kunandipangitsa kuzindikira kuti moyo uno sunali wa ine. Ndinatha kuwongolera maganizo anga. Ndinayambanso kukweza bokosi ndikuletsa mkwiyo wanga ndi malingaliro anga.
Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, ndinasiya zolaula, koma ndizovuta chifukwa zolaula zili pama foni, ma laputopu, kulikonse. Tsopano, sindikufuna kwambiri, komabe ndimayambirabe zolaula komanso kugonana momwe ena amatengera mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Zili ngati kusuta. Zili m'manja mwake, koma zidakalipobe.
Nthawi yotsiriza yomwe ndinayang'ana zolaula zinali masabata awiri apitawo, koma tsopano kawiri pa mwezi. Sindinagwiritse ntchito kupititsa patsogolo kuyambira December.
"Mwinamwake ndinagona ndi akazi a 800-900 m'zaka zisanu. Ndinalipira ndalama zonse zomwe ndinalandira komanso zambiri. Ndikanatha kugula nyumba yabwino m'malo mwake. "Ndikulipilira ngongole yanga yomaliza ndipo ine ndidzakhala wopanda ngongole mu May.
"Ine potsiriza ndiri nacho ulemu wanga tsopano. Ndizofunika kwambiri. "