Ndemanga
Zithunzi za pa Intaneti
Kukula pa zolaula pa intaneti kwawononga anthu ambiri ogonana. Anthu angapeze, kuntchito yawo, kuti libido ya mnzanuyo yasokonezeka kwambiri. Zilibe, zangoperekedwa kwa kompyuta. Mgwirizano wosadziwika pakati pa malonda a IT ndi mbali imodzi ndi zochitika zolaula zambiri zimapangitsa wina kugwiritsira ntchito zolakwika za malingaliro aumunthu. Lingaliro loyambirira lopangidwa kuti likhalenso ndi chiyeso chochepa chogonana kusiyana ndi momwe mzimayi wina amadziwonetsera ponseponse pamsonkhanowo amamasulidwa pokhapokha atagwidwa ndi zoitanidwa kuti azichita nawo zochitika zokhudzana ndi zochitika zowopsya kuposa zonse zomwe zikulota malingaliro odwala a Marquis de Sade. Palibe chilichonse chokwanira pazinthu zathu zamaganizo kuti tipeze zochitika muzuso zathu zamakono, palibe chomwe chingamange chilakolako chathu chofuna kusiya zinthu zina zonse chifukwa cha mphindi zingapo (zomwe zikhoza kukhala maola anayi) zozizira zakuda za intaneti. Zithunzi zamphongo zimakhala zovuta kwambiri komanso zimakhala zovuta kwambiri, zimapangitsa kuti titha kuchita nawo bizinesi yofunikira kwambiri ya kugonana. Njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera vutoli kungakhale kutseka makompyuta, ndikukambirana mayesero ndi kuwona mtima. Sitiyenera kunena kuti kungokhala 'kupandukira', ndi zabwino kwa ena, koma mwa njira yomwe imapha zinthu zomwe sizingokhala zabwino zokha; zomwe ndi zofunika ku moyo.
Palibe zogonana chonde, ndife aku Britain
Alain de Botton pa kafukufuku wathu wa kugonana
Kufufuza koyamba pa kugonana kwa amsitomala awonetsa kuti 65% ya inu mukufuna kugonana kwambiri. Katswiri wafilosofi Alain de Botton akufotokozera zomwe zikuyenda panjira ...
Zimakhala zosavuta kuti tipeze moyo uno popanda kudzimva kuti ndife osamvetseka pokhudzana ndi kugonana - kawirikawiri ndi kupweteka kwachinsinsi, mwinamwake kumapeto kwa chiyanjano, kapena pamene tigona pabedi kukhumudwitsidwa pafupi ndi mnzathu, osakhoza kupita kugona. Ndi malo omwe ambirife timakhala ndi zowawa, m'mitima mwathu, kuti ndife achilendo kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti ndi imodzi mwa zochitika zapadera, kugonana kumayendetsedwa ndi malingaliro okhudza mmene anthu amakhalidwe abwino amayenera kumverera ndi kuthana ndi nkhaniyi. Zoona, komabe, ambiri mwa ife timamva kuti ndi "zachibadwa" kugonana. Tonsefe timangokhalira kukhumudwa ndi zolakwa zathu; ndi phobias ndi zikhumbo zowopsya; mwa kusasamala ndi kunyansidwa. Timadziuza tokha kuti ndife osochera, koma pokhapokha posiyana ndi zolinga zolakwika.
Palibe aliyense wa ife amene amayandikira kugonana monga momwe ife tikuganizira kuti tikuyenera, ndimasangalale, masewera, osadzimvera kuti tikudzizunza tokha kuti tikhulupirire anthu ena omwe apatsidwa. Tikudziwa kuti kugonana koyenera sikokusangalatsa basi, kumatithandiza kukhala osangalala komanso osangalala. Kugonana ndi munthu kumatipangitsa kumva kuti tikufunidwa, wamoyo komanso wamphamvu. Icho chimakonza kudzidalira kwathu ndipo chimatipangitsa ife kukonzeka kuti tipereke moni kudziko kunja kwa chipinda ndi chidaliro cholimba ndi kulimba mtima. Kugonana kwabwino sikokwanira chabe - kupatula kudzikondweretsa - ndi njira yopita ku mtundu wina wa thanzi.
Ndi nthawi yolandira zonyansa za kugonana ndi kuseketsa ndi kulimba mtima, ndikuyamba kulankhula za izo moona mtima komanso mwachifundo. Mungaganize kuti pali zokambirana zambiri zokhudzana ndi kugonana pa dziko lapansi kale, koma zambiri mwazo ndizolakwika, mtundu umene umatilimbikitsa kuyembekezera chidziwitso chokwanira ndi ungwiro zomwe sizingatheke. Timaganiza kuti ndife omasulidwa, koma kwenikweni pali manyazi ambiri ponena zenizeni zogonana. Kunena momveka bwino m'dera lino sayenera kuganiza kuti ndizodabwitsa, ndizofuna kukhala ndi moyo wabwino. Nchiyani, chotero, ndi zina mwa zinthu zomwe zimapezeka mu njira yachinsinsi imeneyi: kugonana kwakukulu?
Moyo wa Ntchito
Poyambira, komanso mosasamala, kusowa kwa kugonana pakati pa maubwenzi olimbitsa thupi kumakhala ndi vuto la kusinthika zolembera pakati pa moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku komanso zosokonekera. Makhalidwe omwe timafunsidwa pamene tigonana ndi otsutsana kwambiri ndi omwe timagwiritsa ntchito pochita zambiri zomwe timachita tsiku ndi tsiku ku ofesi. Ubale umaphatikizirapo, ngati osati nthawi yomweyo mkati mwa zaka zingapo, kuyendetsa banja komanso nthawi zambiri kulera ana. Ntchito izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zofanana ndi kayendetsedwe ka bizinesi yaying'ono ndipo zimagwiritsa ntchito maluso ambiri omwe amachitiramo ntchito, kuphatikizapo nthawi yosamalira, kudziletsa, kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu komanso kukhazikitsa ndondomeko yotsutsa anthu ena.
"Kugonana koyenera sikungokhala kosangalatsa, kumatipangitsa kukhala olimba komanso osangalala"
Kugonana, kuphatikizapo kutsutsana kwakukulu pa kulingalira kwakukulu, kusewera ndi kutaya mphamvu, ziyenera kuti zimasokoneza chizoloŵezi cha malamulo ndi kudziletsa. Zingatipangitse kutisiya ife osayenera, kapena osayesedwa, kuti tipitirizebe ntchito zathu zautumiki pamene chikhumbo chathu chafika. Chodetsa nkhaŵa ndi chakuti posiya, sitidzatha kubwereranso palimodzi: nthawi zonse tidzakhala osasokonezeka, tidzakhala otetezeka, tidzasokoneza anthu - ndipo si njira imene ambiri a banja lathu ndi maudindo athu akugwira ntchito kukhala. Timapewa kugonana osati chifukwa chosangalatsa koma chifukwa zosangalatsa zake zimachotsa mphamvu zathu kuti tithe kupirira zofuna zathu zovuta pamoyo wathu.
Tsiku ndi Tsiku
Kulephera kwathu kuzindikira mbali yachisokonezo ya wokondedwa wathu kungakhalenso pafupi kwambiri ndi malo otetezeka omwe timayendetsera moyo wathu wa tsiku ndi tsiku. Tiyenera kulakwa kukhalapo kosasinthika kwa kampu ndi chipinda chokhalamo chifukwa cholephera kukhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri, chifukwa nyumba zathu zimatitsogolera kuti tizindikire ena molingana ndi malingaliro omwe amawonekera mwa iwo. Zochitika zakuthupi zimakhala zofiira kwambiri ndi ntchito zomwe zimapatsa - kutulutsa, kuteteza botolo, kusamba zovala, kudzaza mafomu a msonkho - ndikuwonetseratu zomwe zimatipangitsa kuti tisinthe. Zinyumba zimatsindika kuti sitingasinthe chifukwa sizingatheke. Chikhalidwe cha umunthu chimachokera ku zomwe ziri pozungulira; timakhala odzipatulira m'matchalitchi, osungira malo osungiramo zinthu zakale komanso m'nyumba zolakwika, kumakhudza kwambiri.
N'chifukwa chake maofesi amafunika kwambiri. Makoma awo, mabedi, mipando yabwino, zipangizo zam'chipinda, zipangizo zamakono ndi zitsulo zowonongeka mwamphamvu zitha kuchita zambiri kuposa kuyankha zokoma zapamwamba; Angatilimbikitsenso kuti tibwererenso kuzinthu zathu zokhudzana ndi kugonana. Palibe malire kwa zomwe zimagwirizanitsa pamodzi mu bath bath bath zingatithandize kukwaniritsa. Tikhoza kukondanso chikondi chifukwa tapeza kachiwiri, potsata maudindo omwe timakakamizidwa kusewera ndi zochitika zathu zapakhomo, chiwerewere chomwe poyamba chinatigwirizanitsa. Chiwonetserochi chatsopano chitha kuthandizidwa kwambiri ndi mabotolo ophimbitsa thupi, makasitomala okondweretsa zipatso ndi mawindo kuchokera pawindo pa malo osadziwika.
Mkwiyo Wobisika
Mwina sitingakhale ndi chiwerewere chochuluka chifukwa wokondedwa wathu watikwiyira - kapena ifeyo. Kulingalira kofala kwa mkwiyo kumapangitsa nkhope zofiira, kumveka mawu ndi zitseko zotsekedwa, koma kawirikawiri, zimatenga mawonekedwe osiyana. Ndipo pamene sichimvetsetsa kapena kuvomereza zokha, mkwiyo umangobwereza kukhala wopanda kanthu, mopanda kanthu "Ine sindiri m'maganizo ...".
Pali zifukwa ziwiri zomwe timaiwala kuti timakwiya ndi wokondedwa wathu, motero timakhala ndi ana amasiye, osakondwa komanso osagonana nawo. Choyamba, chifukwa cha zochitika zina zomwe zimatikwiyitsa kwambiri mofulumira komanso mosaoneka bwino, pamakonzedwe ofulumira komanso osokonezeka (pa nthawi yachakudya, sukulu isanayambe, kapena panthawi ya kukambirana mafoni a m'manja pa nthawi ya mphepo) Sungakhoze kuzindikira cholakwacho mokwanira kuti pakhale mtundu uliwonse wotsutsa wotsutsana nawo. Mtsuko ukuthamangitsidwa, umativulaza, koma tilibe zofunikira kapena nkhani kuti tiwone m'mene zilili, komanso kuti waphonya zida zathu. Ndipo chachiŵiri, nthawi zambiri sitimanena kuti mkwiyo wathu ndi wotani ngakhale pamene timvetsetsa, chifukwa zinthu zomwe zimatikhumudwitsa zingawoneke ngati zopanda pake, zovuta kapena zosamvetsetseka zomwe zingamveka zopusa ngati zilankhulidwa mokweza. Ngakhale kuwafotokozera kwa ife tokha kungakhale kochititsa manyazi.
"Kukula kwa zolaula pa intaneti kwawononga miyoyo yambiri yogonana"
Mwachitsanzo, tikhoza kuvulazidwa kwambiri pamene wokondedwa wathu sakuzindikira tsitsi lathu latsopano kapena sagwiritsira ntchito bokosilo pamene akudula pang'ono, akubalalitsa zinyenyeswazi kulikonse. Izi sizikuwoneka ngati zoyenera kukhala ndi madandaulo apamwamba. Kulengeza, "Ine ndikukwiyira iwe chifukwa iwe ukudula chingwe cholakwika", ndiko kuika phokoso mwakamodzi msanga ndi wamisala. Koma tingafunikire kufotokozera madandaulo athu kuti tipeze mavuto, okhulupilira, owona mtima omwe amachititsa kugonana kukhala kotheka.
Zithunzi za pa Intaneti
Kukula pa zolaula pa intaneti kwawononga anthu ambiri ogonana. Anthu angapeze, kuntchito yawo, kuti libido ya mnzanuyo yasokonezeka kwambiri. Zilibe, zangoperekedwa kwa kompyuta. Mgwirizano wosadziwika pakati pa malonda a IT ndi mbali imodzi ndi zochitika zolaula zambiri zimapangitsa wina kugwiritsira ntchito zolakwika za malingaliro aumunthu. Lingaliro loyambirira lopangidwa kuti likhalenso ndi chiyeso chochepa chogonana kusiyana ndi momwe mzimayi wina amadziwonetsera ponseponse pamsonkhanowo amamasulidwa pokhapokha atagwidwa ndi zoitanidwa kuti azichita nawo zochitika zokhudzana ndi zochitika zowopsya kuposa zonse zomwe zikulota malingaliro odwala a Marquis de Sade. Palibe chilichonse chokwanira pazinthu zathu zamaganizo kuti tipeze zochitika muzuso zathu zamakono, palibe chomwe chingamange chilakolako chathu chofuna kusiya zinthu zina zonse chifukwa cha mphindi zingapo (zomwe zikhoza kukhala maola anayi) zozizira zakuda za intaneti. Zithunzi zamphongo zimakhala zovuta kwambiri komanso zimakhala zovuta kwambiri, zimapangitsa kuti titha kuchita nawo bizinesi yofunikira kwambiri ya kugonana. Njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera vutoli kungakhale kutseka makompyuta, ndikukambirana mayesero ndi kuwona mtima. Sitiyenera kunena kuti kungokhala 'kupandukira', ndi zabwino kwa ena, koma mwa njira yomwe imapha zinthu zomwe sizingokhala zabwino zokha; zomwe ndi zofunika ku moyo.
Kukhala Othandizana
Ndizodabwitsa kuti ana amapangidwa ndi kugonana komanso amakhala ndi chizoloŵezi choipa chopha kugonana. Kukhalapo kwawo kumakhala kokondweretsa komanso kosasokonekera maganizo amtundu wakuti (mmbuyo momwe pamene) anagonjetsa kugonana. Chimodzi mwa vuto ndikuti abwenzi athu ali ndi chizoloŵezi chotembenukira mu ziwerengero zathu za makolo m'malo mofanana nawo kamodzi tikakhala ndi ana. Timalephera kuyang'ana anzathu ngati zithunzi zolimbitsa thupi pamene timagwiritsa ntchito gawo lalikulu la tsiku ndikuchita maudindo a 'Mummy' kapena 'Daddy'. Ngakhale kuti sitili omvera omwe timafuna kuti azitsatira, timayenera kukhala mboni zowonjezera kwa iwo. Ana atakhala atagona, sizingakhale zachilendo kwa mnzanu mmodzi - chimodzi mwa ziganizo zomwe Sigmund Freud amakonda kwambiri - kutanthauzira ena kuti 'Amayi' kapena 'Dad', chisokonezo chomwe chingakhale chophatikizidwa pogwiritsira ntchito mawu omwewo okhumudwitsa omwe ankagwira ntchito tsiku lonse kuti asunge anawo mzere.
"Ngakhale titayesa kuligonjetsa, kugonana kuli ndi chizoloŵezi chosokoneza miyoyo yathu"
Zingakhale zovuta kuti onse awiri agwirizane ndi choonadi chodziwika koma chosavuta kuti alidi anzawo ndi abwenzi awo, osati ogwira nawo ntchito yosamalira ana. Njira yothetsera vutoli siyiyambanso kuyambanso ndi mnzanu wina, pakuti ngati sitimayang'anitsitsa anthu omwe ali osakwatirana, amatha kukhala osasunthika ndi zifaniziro zopanda chiwerewere. Si munthu watsopano amene timafuna, koma njira yatsopano yodziwira wina yemwe amadziwa. Nkhaniyi ndi nkhani ya momwe timayang'anirana ndi wokondedwa wathu. Kuti tisunge moyo wathu wa kugonana, tifunika kuganiza. Tiyese kupeza zabwino ndi zokongola pansi pa zizoloŵezi ndi chizoloŵezi. Nthawi zambiri timakhala tikuwona wokondedwa wathu akuthamangira ngongole, akukangana ndi wamng'ono, akuwombera kampani yamagetsi ndikubwerera kwawo akugonjetsedwa kuntchito komwe tayiwala kuti mbali yake yomwe ikukhalabe yodziwa, yowopsya, yotayika, yochenjera, koposa zonse, zamoyo.
zovuta
Zosokoneza zonse zomwe timamva pa nkhani ya kugonana zimakhala zovuta kwambiri ndi lingaliro lakuti ndife a zaka zaufulu - ndipo zomwe ziyenera kuchitika tsopano, monga zotsatila, kupeza kugonana nkhani yosavuta komanso yovuta. Ngakhale titayesetsa kuti tipeze zofunikira zake, kugonana sikungakhale kosavuta m'njira zomwe tingakonde kukhala. Ikhoza kufa; Ikana kukakhala mosamala pamwamba pa chikondi, momwe ziyenera kukhalira. Tivomereze ngakhale titayesa, kugonana kuli ndi chizoloŵezi chothetsa mavuto m'miyoyo yathu yonse. Kugonana sikungakhale kopanda pake, ndipo mwinamwake kusagwirizana, kusagwirizana ndi zina zomwe timapanga komanso zomwe timapanga.
Mwinamwake ife tiyenera kuvomereza kuti kugonana kumakhala koyenera osati kolemetsa, mmalo modzudzula tokha chifukwa chosayankha mwa njira zowonjezera kwa zofuna zake zosokoneza. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti sitingathe kuchitapo kanthu kuti tikhale ndi nzeru zogonana. Tiyenera kungodziwa kuti sitidzagonjetsa mavuto onse omwe timakumana nawo.
Kodi Mungaganize Bwanji Zokhudza Kugonana? Alain de Botton (Pan, £ 7.99) ali kunja kwa 10 May ngati mbali ya mndandanda wofufuza ntchito, kugonana, ndalama, kukhwima maganizo, moyo wa digito ndi kusintha dziko. Kukondwerera, Sukulu ya Moyo ikuyendera ku London, Edinburgh, Dublin ndi Manchester. Kuti mudziwe zambiri pitani theschooloflife.com
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