ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Richard A Friedman
Monga aliyense amadziwira, kugonana kumamva bwino.
Kapena kodi? M'zaka zaposachedwa, ndakumana ndi odwala angapo omwe kugonana sikungokhala kosangalatsa; zikuwoneka kuti zikuwononga.
Wodwala wina, wachinyamata wazaka za m'ma 20, adalongosola motere: "Nditagonana, ndimakhala wopwetekedwa mtima komanso wokhumudwa kwa tsiku limodzi."
Apo ayi, anali ndi thanzi labwino, lachipatala ndi lachipatala: bwino, ogwira ntchito mwakhama, mabwenzi ambiri komanso banja logwirizana.
Ndikhulupirire, ndikadatha kufotokoza mosavuta. Adabisala pazakugonana, kapena anali ndi malingaliro okhudzana ndi mnzake. Ndani satero?
Koma fufuzani momwe ndingathere kuti ndifotokoze bwino, sindinapeze. Ngakhale kuti zizindikiro zake ndi zowawa zinali zenizeni, ndinamuuza kuti analibe vuto lalikulu la maganizo limene limafuna chithandizo. Anakhumudwa kwambiri kuchoka ku ofesi yanga.
Sindinaganize zambiri za mlandu wake mpaka patadutsa nthawi, pomwe ndidakumana ndi wodwala wina yemwe ali ndi chidandaulo chofananacho. Anali mayi wazaka 32 yemwe adakumana ndi maola anayi kapena asanu ndi limodzi okhumudwa kwambiri ndikukhala wokwiya pambuyo pake, mwina yekha kapena ndi mnzake. Zinali zosasangalatsa kwambiri kotero kuti adayamba kupewa kugonana.
Posachedwapa, wothandizana ndi psychoanalyst - mwamuna wodziwika ndi luso lake pozindikira psychopathology - anandiitananso za vuto lina. Anadabwa kwambiri ndi mwamuna wina wazaka 24 yemwe ankawoneka ngati wathanzi koma kupweteka kwambiri komwe kunatenga maola angapo atagonana.
Palibe chachilendo ponena zachisoni pang'ono pambuyo pa chisangalalo. Monga momwe akunenera, atatha kugonana zinyama zonse zimakhala zomvetsa chisoni. Koma odwalawa anadwala kwambiri matenda a dysphoria omwe anakhala otalika kwambiri ndipo anali okhumudwa kwambiri kuti asatuluke ngati osasangalala.
Komabe, chiyeso choganiza momveka bwino ponena za maganizo a kugonana ndi kovuta kukana. Achipatala amakonda kuseka kuti chirichonse chiri chokhudza kugonana kupatula pa kugonana kokha, ndiyo njira ina yonena kuti pafupifupi khalidwe lililonse laumunthu liri ndi chidziwitso chobisika cha kugonana.
Mwinamwake, koma ndikudabwa ngati muzochitikazi, zikhoza kukhala zopanda phindu kusiyana ndi chidziwitso cha matenda opatsirana pogonana chomwe chinapangitsa odwalawa kukhala okhumudwa.
Zochepa zimadziwika za zomwe zimachitika mu ubongo nthawi yogonana. Mu 2005, Dr. Gert Holstege ku yunivesite ya Groningen ku Netherlands anagwiritsa ntchito positron emission tomography kuti awonetse ubongo wa abambo ndi amai pa nthawi yovuta. Iye adapeza kuti pakati pa kusintha kwake, kuchepa kwakukulu mu ntchito ya amygdala, dera la ubongo lomwe likuphatikizidwa pokonza zochititsa mantha. Kuwonjezera pa kukondweretsa, kugonana kumatithandiza kuti tisamakhale ndi mantha komanso nkhawa.
Katswiri wa chikhalidwe cha anthu Helen Fisher, wa ku Rutgers, adagwiritsa ntchito maginito opanga maginito kuti ayang'ane mozungulira mayendedwe azachikondi achikondi. Adawonetsa gulu la anyamata ndi atsikana omwe akuti amakondana kwambiri ndi chithunzi cha wokondedwa wawo kapena munthu wosalowerera ndale. Omwe adawonetsa kutsegulira kwa mphotho mu mphotho ya mphotho ya dopamine kokha poyankha okondedwa, ofanana ndi kuyankha kwaubongo ku mphotho zina monga ndalama ndi chakudya.
Kodi zikhoza kukhala kuti odwala ena ali ndi mphamvu zowonjezera zomwe zimawapangitsa kuti azivutika?
Mabuku ofufuzira amakhala chete pa kugwedezeka chifukwa chogonana, koma kufufuza kwa Google kunawulula malo angapo a pawebusaiti ndi malo oyankhulana ndi chinachake chotchedwa postcoital blues. Ndani ankadziwa? Kumeneko, ndinawerenga nkhani zambiri zofanana ndi za odwala anga, ndi zolemba za mankhwala osiyanasiyana.
Pamene madokotala amatha kupititsa kuchipatala mopanda phindu kapena kudzipeza okha, monga momwe ndakhalira, m'gawo losagwirizana ndi zomwe angachite, iwo angaganizire zotchedwa mankhwala ochiritsira. Kawirikawiri, mumapanga chithandizo choterechi pogwiritsa ntchito malingaliro anu okhudza chilengedwe cha matenda omwe ali pafupi. Izi zingaphatikizepo kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala ovomerezeka pazochitika zomwe sanagwiritsidwepo kale.
Chitsimikizo cha chithandizo chotheka ndi chakuti Prozac ndi azibale ake, omwe amasankha serotonin reuptake inhibitors, nthawi zambiri amalepheretsa kugonana ntchito pamlingo winawake. Serotonin ndi yabwino kuti mukhale ndi maganizo anu, koma zambiri mu ubongo wanu komanso msana zimakhala zoipa zogonana.
Ndinaganiza kuti ngati ndingatengere momwe odwala anga amagwirira ntchito, kuti ichepetse, zitha kupweteketsa mtima pambuyo pake. Mwanjira ina, ndimatha kugwiritsa ntchito zovuta zoyipa zomwe SSRI imachita pakuthandizira.
Monga aliyense amene adatenga mankhwalawa chifukwa cha kupanikizika angakuuzeni, zingatenge masabata angapo kuti azikhala bwino, koma zotsatira zake, monga kusagonana ndi kugonana, nthawi zambiri nthawi yomweyo. Kwa odwala anga, izo zinakhala zopindulitsa. Atangotha milungu iwiri yokha pa SSRI, onse awiri adanena kuti ngakhale kugonana sikukondweretsa kwambiri, sanathenso kugunda.
Tsopano, pali zifukwa zosachepera zitatu zimene odwala anga amamverera bwino: Mankhwalawa amagwira ntchito; ilo linali ndi zotsatira za placebo; kapena panali kusintha kosasintha kwa zizindikiro - zikanakhala zabwino ngati sindinachite kanthu.
Ndinayankha kuti ndisiye kuchipatala, ndikuyiyambanso ngati vuto likubwereranso. Pazochitika zonse ziwirizi, zizindikirozo zinabwerera ndipo kenako zimachotsedwa ndi mankhwala - posonyeza, pogwiritsa ntchito chitsanzochi, kuti mankhwalawa anali enieni.
Ngati odwalawa andiphunzitsa chilichonse, ndiye kuti zovuta zakugonana sizimakhala zovuta nthawi zonse. Chowonadi ndichakuti chiwalo chofunikira kwambiri chogonana cha anthu ndi ubongo. Kugonana kumatha kukhala zochitika kwambiri, koma kukhumudwa kumatha kukhala kwakuthupi, nawonso - nthawi zina kumakhala kosafunikira kuposa quirk ya biology.
Nkhani yoyambirira ya New York Times, Januwale 20, 2009