Bungwe la American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists ( AASECT ) latulutsa zomwe iwo eni akuzitcha "mawu a mbiri yakale" pa zolaula ndi chizolowezi chogonana. Pakati pa mawuwo pali mawu akuti bungweli "silikupeza umboni wokwanira wotsimikizira kuti chizolowezi chogonana kapena chizolowezi chogonana ndi matenda amisala" - izi, pamodzi ndi ndemanga yonse ya "maphunziro ndi njira zochiritsira chizolowezi chogonana ndi njira zophunzitsira" zomwe zilipo ngati "zosaphunzitsidwa mokwanira ndi chidziwitso cholondola cha kugonana kwa anthu." ( Ulalo wa nkhani yonse )
Kuti mukhale ndi chiwerengero chotere, kulemera ndi ulamuliro, mungaganize mosamalitsa, mopanda tsankhu ndi kukambirana mogwirizana ndi umboni wa sayansi.
Mudzadandaula.
Mu kuvomereza koonekeratu komanso poyera kwa munthu amene anayambitsa ndondomekoyi, yotchedwa " Momwe Chigamulo cha Kugonana cha AASECT Chinapangidwira ," Michael Aaron akupereka njira yofotokozera mwatsatanetsatane ndondomekoyi - mbiri yomwe timaganiza kuti imadzilankhulira yokha.
M'malo mofufuza mosamalitsa za umboni wosakanizidwa ndi gulu losiyanasiyana, izi pakuvomereza kwa Aaron zidachokera ku "zoyeserera pa intaneti" mwa iye yekha ndi gulu laling'ono la "omwe adatipatsitsa nawo mndandanda." Pa mndandanda wa AASECT, kagulu kakang'ono kameneka kanatembenukira ku zomwe Aaron adazitcha "zigawenga, machenjerero achiwembu" omwe adavomereza kuti anali "amwano" mwadala ndipo cholinga chake chinali kuyambitsa mikangano yokhazikika, yayikulu pakati pa omwe anali mgululi. M'mawu ake omwe:
- "Kwa ine, mpata uliwonse wosokoneza unali mwayi."
- "Ndimayika zidziwitso pafoni yanga nthawi iliyonse ndikakhala ndikulemba pamndandanda wokhudzana ndi chizolowezi chogonana ndipo ndimayesetsa mwadala kuyambitsa chilankhulo chazomwe chimabweretsa mayankho ambiri momwe angathere."
- "Ndibwino kuti ndizisangalala kwambiri."
Zonsezi, molingana ndi Aaron, zinali zofunika kuti "asinthe mwamsanga."
Ena atha kudabwa, chifukwa chiyani Aaron ndi gulu lake adasankha kuti asasunthire kudzera munjira yapagulu komanso yowolowa manja yolola mwayi kwa anthu osiyanasiyana kuti agwirizane? Polankhula ndi kuthekera uku, Aaron adanenetsa kuti kukambirana kapena kukambirana motere ndi anthu omwe sagwirizana ndi pempholi ndikungotaya nthawi, chifukwa anthuwa adakondera mosakakamizidwa ndi zolimbikitsa zachuma.
Mfundo zofananazo mwina zinaperekedwa ku bungwe la AASECT lachilimwe lomwe lili ndi okamba nkhani okhawo omwe ndi olimbikitsa ufulu wa anthu okonda chilichonse - David Ley, Joe Kort ndi Nicole Prause.
Kodi izi ndi chifukwa chake AASECT ikuyang'ana kapena kuchepetsa gulu lalikulu la maphunziro ofunikira pankhaniyi?
Monga tanenera kwina, pali maphunziro 27 a ubongo ndi ndemanga 10 za mabuku - zonse zomwe zimatsimikizira kuthekera kwa zolaula kukhala zosokoneza. Maphunziro osachepera 17 amalumikiza zolaula ndi nkhani zosiyanasiyana zogonana, ndi maphunziro ena 34 ogwirizanitsa zolaula ndi kuchepa kwa ubale ndi kukhutira ndi kugonana.
Kodi maphunziro onse 98 awa ndi “sayansi yabodza”? Kodi maphunziro ofufuza omwe AASECT amanena kuti “sakwanira” kutsimikizira kuti pali vuto lalikulu?
Mfundo yovuta: N'zovuta kukana vuto lenileni liripo, popanda kulembetsa umboni wochuluka kwambiri (wosagwirizana).
Izi sizili chimodzimodzi, ndithudi, monga kuyesa "kusokoneza mavuto okhudzana ndi kugonana" monga momwe AASECT yanenera - chinthu chomwe mabungwe ambiri ogwiritsira ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo amasamala kuti apewe. Zoonadi, kaya chizolowezi choonera zolaula ndi "chenicheni" ndi funso losiyana ndi ngati ndi vuto la maganizo. [ 2 ]
Zonsezi, ngakhale zilizonse, zimanyalanyazidwa m'mawu omwe amawongolera kufotokozera njira iliyonse yodalirako monga chikhalidwe chodziletsa.
Pakakhala kulingalira kwapamwamba, sizodabwitsa kuti kusiyanaku kunganyalanyazidwe. Monga tawonetsera kale, olemba lipoti la AASECT adatsimikiza momveka bwino mtundu wina wamacheza womwe ungakwaniritse zolinga zawo.
Izi zinali zoona momwe adayandikira kukonzanso komaliza kwa mawuwo.
Monga momwe Aaron adanenera , mawu am'mbuyomu a mgwirizano wa AASECT adachoka paudindo wawo womwe amaukonda chifukwa cha kutenga nawo mbali kwa anthu ambiri osiyanasiyana. [3] Aaron ndi anzake adatsimikiza mtima kuti asadzachitenso cholakwika chomwecho. Chifukwa chake nthawi ino, adakhazikitsa njira yoyang'aniridwa mosamala yoperekera ndemanga zomwe sizinasokoneze zomwe amakonda: "Ndinalangiza gulu lathu kuti litumize mawuwo kwa gulu laling'ono la anthu osankhidwa, atatu pa munthu aliyense, ndikulongosola mosamala magawo okhudzidwa."
Ndipo apo muli nacho icho! Mawu oti "mgwirizano" amabadwa.
Chifukwa cha ulemu wawo, Aaron ndi ena omwe adatenga nawo mbali adavomereza kuti pali mkangano wamphamvu womwe ukupitilirabe. Aaron adalemba kuti "chizolowezi chogonana ndi nkhani yotsutsana kwambiri, ndipo ndi nkhani yokangana kwambiri m'magulu onse a anthu okonda kugonana komanso omwe amakonda kugonana." Wolemba wina, Ian Kerner, adayamika "mawu amphamvu, omwe anali ndi chikhulupiriro chotsutsa mawu otere."
Popanda njira za Aaron “zankhanza” komanso “zachigawenga” zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito kuletsa otsutsa, kukanikiza mkangano woopsa, kukana kafukufuku wochuluka wotsutsana ndi zomwe adatsimikiza ndikuwonetsa mgwirizano wosatsutsika, mawu ena amenewo akanatha kuvomerezedwa m'mawu omwe adatuluka!
Zoonadi, munthu ayenera kudabwa kuti mawu a AASECT akanathandiza bwanji ngati mawu ndi malingaliro onse akanaloledwa kuchita mofanana.
[1] Mwachindunji, Michael Aaron anati , “Gawo la chizolowezi chogonana ndi bizinesi yopindulitsa, yokhala ndi malo ogona odwala okwera mtengo kwambiri ndi zina zotero - kodi pali amene akuganiza moona mtima kuti wolimbikitsa chizolowezi chogonana akulimbikitsidwa kuti awononge chitsanzo chimenecho?” Anapitiriza kuti, “Chilankhulo chogwirizana sichipindulitsa ndi gulu lomwe likuopsezedwa ndi zolinga zanu.” Kumasulira: Akatswiri othandiza anthu omwe ali ndi chizolowezi chogonana amakondera kwambiri malipiro awo kotero kuti sizothandiza kuyesa kuchita nawo mwaulemu ndikugwira ntchito limodzi!
Ngati izi ndi zoona, kodi zolimbikitsa zina zandalama sizingayambitsenso mwayi womwewo? Mwa kuvomereza kwake, pali ndalama zambiri zomwe zimakonzekera kukonzekera kuchitira zachiwerewere: "Monga CST ndidachita maphunziro okhwima omwe amawononga ndalama zochepa ndipo ndimalipira zambiri ku AASECT pachaka kuti sungani chiphaso changa. ” Kodi kubwezeredwa chifukwa cha ntchito zawo kumatanthauza kuti othandizira azakugonana nawonso sangadaliridwe ngati anzawo pazokambirana chifukwa cha chithandizo chawo?
Nkhani yayikuru ndi momwe kusamalirana kumeneku komwe kumatchedwa "zopindulitsa" kumagwirizanitsa ndi zomwe zimakhudza zokambirana zathu pagulu: makampani opanga mafilimu ochulukitsa mabiliyoni bilioni komanso momwe amachitira anthu ambiri a ku America ndi momwe amalankhulira za kugonana.
[2] Mwina chifukwa chodziwikiratu pa mfundoyi mu AASECT, kusiyana pakati pa awiriwa sikukuwonetseratu poyera pazokambirana. Mmodzi lipoti lonena za TV pa ndemanga, izi ndi momwe adafotokozera mwachidule:
·"Palibe vuto ngati kugonana ndi zolaula kapena zolaula."
·"Kodi mungagwiritse ntchito zolaula kapena kugonana?"
·"Si vuto lalikulu la thanzi. Sizitsutsa. "
Kuchokera kwa anthu ambiri, ndiye kuti kukana zolaula ndi "matenda a maganizo" akukana kuti kulipo.
[3] Monga momwe Michael Aaron adafotokozera , khama lakale lidakumana ndi "chisokonezo chifukwa cha kuchuluka kwa malingaliro osiyanasiyana omwe akufuna kupanga mawuwo, komanso popanda njira iliyonse yokonzekera kuti gululo liziyenda bwino."