"Simukudziwa momwe mungandichokere," M. adathokoza. Manyazi, nthawi yomweyo misozi inayamba kutuluka m'maso mwanga. Mnyamata aliyense yemwe ndakhala naye pachibwenzi kapena kucheza naye nthawi zonse amakhala wokondweretsedwa ndi moyo wathu wogonana. M. nthawi zonse anali ndi vuto lopeza zovuta komanso kukhalabe olimba. Koma tsopano popeza ndimakumana naye, amandinena.
Mayi atangokhalira kuimirira, adakhala motere kwa kanthawi mpaka atataya nthunzi ndipo adayamba kutayika. Ponena za kukhala ndi zolaula, izo zidaperekedwa kwa kamodzi kanthawi. Tidakondwera ngati kuti anali mwana wamng'ono yemwe anatha kuzipanga kuchimbudzi.
Mu filimu ya "Don Jon," Joseph Gordon-Levitt amasewera munthu amene amakonda kwambiri zolaula moti sangasangalale ndi kugonana ndi mkazi weniweni. Monga momwe zimakhalira ndi munthu amene ali pachiwonetserochi, M. ankaonera zolaula tsiku lililonse. Poopa yankho lake, ndinayamba kudzifunsa kuti, Kodi zolaula zinali vuto? Mu chikhalidwe cha anthu otchuka, zolaula nthawi zambiri zimaonedwa ngati umboni wa umuna. Lingaliro la chizolowezi cha zolaula nthawi zonse linkaoneka ngati losamveka bwino, chinthu chomwe chinapangidwa ndi gulu lachipembedzo. Ndinkaganiza kuti anyamata ambiri amaonera zolaula nthawi ndi nthawi, koma sindinaganizepo kuti mnzanga akhoza kukhala ndi chizolowezi nazo. Mpaka zitandichitikira.
Pa kafukufuku wa yunivesite ya Cambridge, katswiri wa sayansi ya zakuthambo Dr. Valerie Voon anathamanga mayesero angapo poyerekeza ndi ubongo zomwe zimachitika ponena za zolaula zomwe zimayesedwa ndi anthu aamuna wathanzi poyang'ana zolaula. Pamene gulu lolamulira linakondwera ndi chithunzichi, ubongo wa ogwiritsira ntchito mobwerezabwereza unkagwira ntchito kawiri, mofanana ndi munthu woledzera, mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kapena chikonga.
Wosuta akamayang'anitsitsa zolaula, dopamine spike yatsopano imapangitsa wowonayo kuti azizoloŵera pazowonjezera zina. M'kupita kwa nthaŵi, mauthenga a ubongo amachepera kwambiri ndi dopamine yopanga zofunikira zowonjezera zowonjezereka kuti azitsutsidwa. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, kugonana nthawi zonse ndi mkazi weniweni wamoyo sungapange dopamine wokwanira kapena chidziwitso chokwanira ndi chisangalalo, potsiriza kumayambitsa - iwe umaganiza - erectile dysfunction.
Komabe, kuchokera kuchipatala, vuto lowonetsa zolaula siliyenera kuonedwa ngati vuto. Chifukwa chimodzi ndi kubwera kwa zolaula za pa intaneti ndizatsopano, kuti kufufuza pa izo kukhale kochepa. Koma kwa ochita zowonongeka olaula, oyankhula pagulu, ndi mlangizi wachinyamata Gabe Ndikuganiza kuti kusowa kwafukufuku sikokwanira.
"Sindinakhalepo ndi vuto lina lililonse lomwe linandipangitsa kuti ndiyambe [zolaula]. Ndinkangopeza (pa intaneti). Zovuta zanga zimakhala zovuta kwambiri pamene ndinayamba kulekerera. Zimayamba ndi anyamata ndi atsikana abwinobwino. Kenako zigawenga. Kenako kukhosako kukhosi. Kenako gwirani zolaula. Muyenera kukulirakulira kuti mupeze liwiro lomwelo. " Pofika zaka 23, anali ndi vuto lokwanira la erectile.
Kale, amuna ankayenera kumamatira ku Playboy ndi Penthouse kuti apeze chisangalalo. Tsopano ngakhale mwana wazaka 12 amadziwa bwino bukkake chifukwa cha intaneti. Zaka khumi zosavuta kupeza zithunzi zolaula zonyansa kwambiri zinkapangitsa amuna (kuphatikizapo M.) kuganiza kuti zopempha za kugonana ndi amuna atatu zinali zachilendo ndipo mkazi aliyense ankakonda kugonana ndi kumatako ndi kumenyedwa. Iyi si Vivid Video yakale yomwe imayambitsa chizolowezi cha zolaula; ndi zolaula za pa intaneti zovuta kapena "gonzo".
Gail Dines, wolemba Pornland komanso woyambitsa StopPornCulture.org, sanagwirizane kwambiri za kusintha kwa dziko la zolaula. "Ndinali kupereka nkhani ku yunivesite ndipo pulofesayo anachenjeza ophunzira kuti padzakhala nkhani zoonekeratu. Azimayiwo anadabwa kwambiri pamene ankaonera [zolaula zovuta] chifukwa akazi ambiri amaganiza kuti amadziwa zomwe zolaula zili koma sakudziwa. Amunawo anafunsa chifukwa chake anachenjezedwa. Zonse zinkaoneka ngati zachilendo kwa iwo. Zolaula 'zachizolowezi' siziliponso. Palibe nkhani. Kungogwedeza mutu, kugunda mwamphamvu, 'kutsegula mpata' kumene amatsegula anus mpaka pamlingo woopsa kotero kuti imatseguka. Kenako pali ATM, komwe amaika mbolo mkamwa mwake osasamba. Amuna atatu mpaka anayi ndi kulowa kawiri. Kumeta kwambiri pakhosi ndi kumeza mkamwa. Kumulavulira pankhope ndikumutcha kuti ndi wodzikuza. Ndi gonzo wamba. Ndipo akazi akuyembekezeka kupitiriza ndi izi."
Ine ndithudi ndinamva kupanikizika. "Angelina Valentine [nyenyezi zolaula] amapereka BJs zabwino," adatero Mara. "Muyenera kumuyang'anitsitsa kuti mukhoze kumtima." Poyesera kumupangitsa kukhala wosangalala, ndinamupatsa ntchito yolemetsa kwa nthawi yayitali kuti ndinapanga minofu yotentha pamsana wanga. Komabe adakalibe wosangalala. Iye sanamvetsetse chifukwa chake sindinali "wokondwa" monga Ms. Valentine, osakayikira kuti anali kulipira. Ankayembekezera kuti ndizisangalala ndi mbolo yake ngati kuti ndinali mwana wakufa kwambiri chifukwa cha sangweji. Kukhala wachilungamo, sikunali ngati kuti M. anali wodzikonda kwathunthu. Anandipatsa chikondi ndi chikondi nthawi zonse. Koma pankhani ya kugonana iye mwadzidzidzi anasanduka munthu wosiyana.
Ambiri omwe tinakumana nawo pa kugonana tinkaganiza kuti ndife oyenerera. Mayi angafotokoze njira yeniyeni yomwe ndimayenera kumukhudza. Icho chinamverera chowerengedwa, osati chachigololo. Gawo lirilonse mu thumba lija linasanduka zochitika zosiyanasiyana. Kodi mphuno yanga inali yangwiro? Kodi ndiyenera kumangirira bulu wake? Kodi ndinapotoza dzanja langa mokwanira? Kodi ndapanga minofu yanga ya PC? Kodi ndinalira mokwanira? Ndinali ndi maganizo osiyana ngati sindinachite monga momwe ndinafunira, ndikadaponyedwa pambali.
Mosiyana ndi M., Deem ankaona zolaula zinali mbali ya vuto lake. "Ndinakumana ndi mtsikana wokongola kwambiri amene ndimamukonda ndipo pamene tinapita kukagonana, dick wanga analibe yankho." "Ndinkadziwa kuti sikumwa mowa kapena kusokonezeka. Nditachita kafukufuku wina pa intaneti, ndinaganiza zokhala ndi maliseche popanda zolaula. Koma sindinathe kuvutikira. Zonsezi zinandigunda; dyera la ine lochita zolaula chifukwa cha chikondi linandikakamiza m'matumbo. Choncho ndinaganiza zosiya kuonera zolaula. "
Komabe sindikudziwa ngati ndizoona zolaula zomwe zinayambitsa M.'s ED, ndinayamba kuyesa. M. amasiya kuyang'ana zolaula kwa mlungu umodzi ndipo tiwona zomwe zinachitika.
Mu kutembenuka kwathunthu kwa 180, M. adatha kukhalabe olimba ndi kupweteka kwa 70 peresenti ya nthawiyo (inde, tinawerengera). Poganizira kuti ziphuphu zake zakhala zikuchitika nthawi zambiri poona Kim Kardashian popanda kupanga, ichi chinali kupambana kwakukulu. Komabe mosiyana ndi Deem, patadutsa masabata angapo, M. adabwerera ku nthawi yake yowonera zolaula.
Musananditche kuti ndine munthu wotsutsa zolaula, ndiloleni ndifotokoze bwino. Mpaka pano, sindikanasamala ngati iye akanaonera zolaula kapena ayi. Ndinaonera zolaula kale - monga akazi ambiri - kuti ndiphunzire komanso nthawi zina kuti ndisiye. Koma sindinafunike kuzionera . Ndipo sindinkaonera magulu a anthu tsiku lililonse kuti ndisiye. Monga momwe aliyense amene amamwa mowa amakhala chidakwa, si aliyense amene amaonera zolaula amene ndi chidakwa. Koma zosangalatsa zikasintha n’kukhala chidakwa, pamenepo pali vuto. Monga momwe Deem akunenera, “Palibe choipa kuposa kugonana kuposa kusasunga chilakolako chanu.” Ndipo chifukwa cha kupezeka kwa zolaula zoopsa kudzera pa intaneti, mbadwo watsopano wa amuna ukupeza kuti ukuyamba zizolowezi zomwe sizinalipo zaka 20 zapitazo. Zithunzi zolaula zikuyamba kuchepa ngati chinthu chowonjezera koma ngati mpira ndi unyolo.
“Zolaula si zenizeni!” akutero Andrea Kuszewski, katswiri wa za khalidwe. “Mwachitsanzo, amuna ambiri amakayikira lingaliro lakuti akazi akungofuna kuwapatsa kugonana mkamwa, amawakonda kwambiri akamachita zimenezi, ndipo amafika pachimake nthawi iliyonse akamagonana nawo, kuti akungoyendayenda ndi ululu tsiku lonse akungoyembekezera kuwaona pakhomo kuti ang'ambe zovala zawo chifukwa ndi amuna okhaokha komanso osagonja. Zimenezo si zenizeni. Ndipo amenewo ndi anthu omwe pamapeto pake amakhala ndi vuto la 'kukonda' zolaula, chifukwa adzitsimikizira okha kuti izi ndi zomwe kugonana kumatanthauza, izi ndi zomwe maubwenzi ayenera kukhala, ndipo izi ndi zomwe zimakopa. Zimenezo ndi zokhumudwitsa kwambiri.”
Ndinadziwa kumverera. M. adatengeka ndimachita "molondola," ndikudandaula kuti sindimangotulutsa "kapisozi" mokwanira ndikuti dzanja lake limakhala labwino nthawi zonse. Komabe sakanatha kunena ndendende zomwe amafunikira. Zinalibe kanthu ngati ndimagawanika, kumukwera usiku wonse kapena kugwiritsa ntchito njira imodzi yogonana, sikunali kokwanira. Ndipo ngati ndinkachita nawo zinthu zomwe anali nazo chidwi (kumangoyamwa mkaka wa prostate) amandinena kuti sindimakonda. Ndinayamba kumva ngati nyama yampikisano. Zinali zowonekeratu kuti M. anali atasokonezedweratu ndi zaka zolaula. Sanathenso kusiyanitsa zongopeka ndi zenizeni.
Zodabwitsa, pamene ine ndi M. tinayesa kusuntha zolaula (ngale ya chokopa) sakanakhoza kuchita. "Ndimakukondani. Ine sindingakhoze, "iye anatero. Zinkawoneka ngati kuti ndikadaweruzidwa ngati ndidachita ndikuweruzidwa ngati sindinatero, ndinakhala pakati pa Madonna ndi hule. Pakalipano, zosowa zanga zokhudzana ndi kugonana zinali kutenga mpando wakumbuyo kwa zovuta zake. Ndinkafuna kuti agwiritse ntchito luso lake. Ndinkafuna zambiri. Ndinkakonda masewero. Ndinkafuna kuwerengera pang'ono komanso kukhumba kwambiri. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri, ine ndinkafuna kuti iye akhalebe olimba ndipo asatuluke mpweya monga momwe amachitira kawirikawiri atangomaliza kumene kugonana. Monga momwe amawonera zithunzi zolaula, kugonana kunali kosangalatsa komanso kudzipatula. Chinthu changa chinali chachiwiri. M. anali atayamba kuchita manyazi. "Ndikuyamba kuganiza kuti sindingakuthamangitse," adatero modzidzimutsa.
Potsirizira pake imfa yathu inali imodzi yomwe inali yosapeŵeka. Anakhulupiliradi kuti amafunikira zolaula, kupweteka, kupweteka kwambiri, ndi kugonana kwa abambo kuti akhale osangalala nthawi yaitali, osatha kuona vuto lenileni sizinali zochitika okha koma adziwonongera zolaula. Ndinamkonda, koma ndinkatopa ndikunyozedwa ndipo sindinkafuna kupatula moyo wanga ndi munthu wina yemwe amadziwa zambiri za zigawenga kuposa kukonda.
Patatha miyezi ingapo pamene tinakumana ndi zakumwa, adandiuza chinachake. "Nthawi yokondwera kwambiri ya moyo wanga inali ndi inu pamene tikuphika mukhitchini yanu." Adanena ndi nkhope yake. Zinali zodabwitsa kuti nthawi yake yosangalatsa inalibe chochita ndi kugonana koma chikondi. Ndizoipa kwambiri sakanakhoza kuziwona izo.
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