"Simukudziwa momwe mungandichokere," M. adathokoza. Manyazi, nthawi yomweyo misozi inayamba kutuluka m'maso mwanga. Mnyamata aliyense yemwe ndakhala naye pachibwenzi kapena kucheza naye nthawi zonse amakhala wokondweretsedwa ndi moyo wathu wogonana. M. nthawi zonse anali ndi vuto lopeza zovuta komanso kukhalabe olimba. Koma tsopano popeza ndimakumana naye, amandinena.
Mayi atangokhalira kuimirira, adakhala motere kwa kanthawi mpaka atataya nthunzi ndipo adayamba kutayika. Ponena za kukhala ndi zolaula, izo zidaperekedwa kwa kamodzi kanthawi. Tidakondwera ngati kuti anali mwana wamng'ono yemwe anatha kuzipanga kuchimbudzi.
Mu filimuyo "Don Jon," Joseph Gordon-Levitt amachitira mwamuna yemwe amakonda kwambiri zolaula kuti sangasangalale ndi kugonana ndi mkazi weniweni. Mofanana ndi protagonist, M. ankawonerera zolaula tsiku ndi tsiku. Nditazindikira kuti yankho lake ndi lotani, ndinayamba kudabwa, Kodi zolaula zinali zovuta? Mu chikhalidwe cha papa, zolaula zimawoneka ngati zitsimikizo za umbuli. Maganizo a zizoloŵezi zolaula nthawi zonse ankawoneka osangalatsa kwambiri, chinachake chomwe chinapangidwa ndi ufulu wachipembedzo. Ndinkaganiza kuti anyamata ambiri amawawona nthawi ndi nthawi, koma sindinaonepo kuti wokondedwa wanga akhoza kumangokhalira kumwa mankhwalawa. Mpaka izi zitachitika kwa ine.
Pa kafukufuku wa yunivesite ya Cambridge, katswiri wa sayansi ya zakuthambo Dr. Valerie Voon anathamanga mayesero angapo poyerekeza ndi ubongo zomwe zimachitika ponena za zolaula zomwe zimayesedwa ndi anthu aamuna wathanzi poyang'ana zolaula. Pamene gulu lolamulira linakondwera ndi chithunzichi, ubongo wa ogwiritsira ntchito mobwerezabwereza unkagwira ntchito kawiri, mofanana ndi munthu woledzera, mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kapena chikonga.
Wosuta akamayang'anitsitsa zolaula, dopamine spike yatsopano imapangitsa wowonayo kuti azizoloŵera pazowonjezera zina. M'kupita kwa nthaŵi, mauthenga a ubongo amachepera kwambiri ndi dopamine yopanga zofunikira zowonjezera zowonjezereka kuti azitsutsidwa. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, kugonana nthawi zonse ndi mkazi weniweni wamoyo sungapange dopamine wokwanira kapena chidziwitso chokwanira ndi chisangalalo, potsiriza kumayambitsa - iwe umaganiza - erectile dysfunction.
Komabe, kuchokera kuchipatala, vuto lowonetsa zolaula siliyenera kuonedwa ngati vuto. Chifukwa chimodzi ndi kubwera kwa zolaula za pa intaneti ndizatsopano, kuti kufufuza pa izo kukhale kochepa. Koma kwa ochita zowonongeka olaula, oyankhula pagulu, ndi mlangizi wachinyamata Gabe Ndikuganiza kuti kusowa kwafukufuku sikokwanira.
"Sindinakhalepo ndi vuto lina lililonse lomwe linandipangitsa kuti ndiyambe [zolaula]. Ndinkangopeza (pa intaneti). Zovuta zanga zimakhala zovuta kwambiri pamene ndinayamba kulekerera. Zimayamba ndi anyamata ndi atsikana abwinobwino. Kenako zigawenga. Kenako kukhosako kukhosi. Kenako gwirani zolaula. Muyenera kukulirakulira kuti mupeze liwiro lomwelo. " Pofika zaka 23, anali ndi vuto lokwanira la erectile.
M'masiku akale, amuna ankayenera kumamatira Playboy ndi Penthouse kuti adzalande. Tsopano ngakhale mwana wazaka 12 amadziŵa kuti amayi ake ndi otani chifukwa cha intaneti. Zaka khumi zokhala ndi zovuta zowona zolaula zowononga kwambiri zikupanga amuna (kuphatikizapo M.) kuganiza kuti pempho la kupweteka kwambiri ndi kupweteka ndilolendo komanso kuti mkazi aliyense amakhala ndi chilakolako cha kugonana ndi kumenyedwa. Iyi siyi Video Yanu Yophunzitsa Sukulu Yakale Yomwe Imayambitsa Kulimbana ndi Kugonana; ndi hardcore kapena "gonzo" pa Intaneti.
Gail Dines, wolemba Pornland komanso woyambitsa StopPornCulture.org, sangavomerezane zambiri zakusintha kwa zolaula. "Ndimakamba nkhani ku yunivesite ndipo pulofesayu anali atachenjeza ophunzirawo kuti zidzawonetsedwa momveka bwino. Amayiwo adachita mantha atawona [zolaula zolaula] chifukwa azimayi ambiri amaganiza kuti amadziwa zolaula koma iwo satero. Amunawo adafunsa chifukwa chomwe adawachenjezera konse. Zonse zimawoneka ngati zachilendo kwa iwo. "Zachilendo" zolaula kulibenso. Palibe nkhani. Kungogundika, kukankha mwamphamvu, 'kutsekemera' pomwe amatsegula anus kuti akhale owopsa kotero kuti atseguke. Ndiye pali ATM, komwe amalowetsa mbolo mkamwa mwake osasamba. Amuna atatu kapena anayi ndikulowererapo kawiri. Kuzama kwapakhosi ndikuseka. Kumulavulira kumaso ndikumuyitana kuti mwana. Ndiwo gonzo wamba. Ndipo amayi akuyembekezeredwa kuti azichita izi. ”
Ine ndithudi ndinamva kupanikizika. "Angelina Valentine [nyenyezi zolaula] amapereka BJs zabwino," adatero Mara. "Muyenera kumuyang'anitsitsa kuti mukhoze kumtima." Poyesera kumupangitsa kukhala wosangalala, ndinamupatsa ntchito yolemetsa kwa nthawi yayitali kuti ndinapanga minofu yotentha pamsana wanga. Komabe adakalibe wosangalala. Iye sanamvetsetse chifukwa chake sindinali "wokondwa" monga Ms. Valentine, osakayikira kuti anali kulipira. Ankayembekezera kuti ndizisangalala ndi mbolo yake ngati kuti ndinali mwana wakufa kwambiri chifukwa cha sangweji. Kukhala wachilungamo, sikunali ngati kuti M. anali wodzikonda kwathunthu. Anandipatsa chikondi ndi chikondi nthawi zonse. Koma pankhani ya kugonana iye mwadzidzidzi anasanduka munthu wosiyana.
Ambiri omwe tinakumana nawo pa kugonana tinkaganiza kuti ndife oyenerera. Mayi angafotokoze njira yeniyeni yomwe ndimayenera kumukhudza. Icho chinamverera chowerengedwa, osati chachigololo. Gawo lirilonse mu thumba lija linasanduka zochitika zosiyanasiyana. Kodi mphuno yanga inali yangwiro? Kodi ndiyenera kumangirira bulu wake? Kodi ndinapotoza dzanja langa mokwanira? Kodi ndapanga minofu yanga ya PC? Kodi ndinalira mokwanira? Ndinali ndi maganizo osiyana ngati sindinachite monga momwe ndinafunira, ndikadaponyedwa pambali.
Mosiyana ndi M., Deem ankaona zolaula zinali mbali ya vuto lake. "Ndinakumana ndi mtsikana wokongola kwambiri amene ndimamukonda ndipo pamene tinapita kukagonana, dick wanga analibe yankho." "Ndinkadziwa kuti sikumwa mowa kapena kusokonezeka. Nditachita kafukufuku wina pa intaneti, ndinaganiza zokhala ndi maliseche popanda zolaula. Koma sindinathe kuvutikira. Zonsezi zinandigunda; dyera la ine lochita zolaula chifukwa cha chikondi linandikakamiza m'matumbo. Choncho ndinaganiza zosiya kuonera zolaula. "
Komabe sindikudziwa ngati ndizoona zolaula zomwe zinayambitsa M.'s ED, ndinayamba kuyesa. M. amasiya kuyang'ana zolaula kwa mlungu umodzi ndipo tiwona zomwe zinachitika.
Mu kutembenuka kwathunthu kwa 180, M. adatha kukhalabe olimba ndi kupweteka kwa 70 peresenti ya nthawiyo (inde, tinawerengera). Poganizira kuti ziphuphu zake zakhala zikuchitika nthawi zambiri poona Kim Kardashian popanda kupanga, ichi chinali kupambana kwakukulu. Komabe mosiyana ndi Deem, patadutsa masabata angapo, M. adabwerera ku nthawi yake yowonera zolaula.
Musanandiyitane wothandizira wotsutsa zolaula, ndiloleni ndikufotokozereni. Mpaka pano, ine ndikanakhoza kusamala pang'ono ngati iye ankawona zolaula kapena ayi. Ndayang'ana zolaula kale - monga amayi ambiri - pazinthu za maphunziro komanso nthawi zina kuti achoke. Koma sindinatero amafunika kuti muwone. Ndipo sindimayang'anitsitsa zachiwawa tsiku lililonse kuti nditsike. Monga sikuti aliyense amene amamwa amakhala chidakwa, sikuti aliyense amene amaonera zolaula amakhala osokoneza bongo. Koma pamene chisangalalo chimasanduka chodalira, pamenepo pamakhala vuto. Monga Deem ananenera, "Palibe china chogonana chongogonana kuposa kulephera kupitiliza kukondera." Ndipo chifukwa cha kuchuluka kwa zolaula zolaula kudzera pa intaneti, mbadwo watsopano wamwamuna ukupeza kuti ali ndi zizolowezi zomwe sizinakhaleko zaka 20 zapitazo. Zithunzi zolaula zikucheperachepera ngati chowongolera komanso ngati mpira-ndi-unyolo.
Wolemba kafukufuku wina, dzina lake Andrea Kuszewski, ananena kuti: "Zolaula sizili zoona." "Mwachitsanzo, amuna ambiri amachokera ku lingaliro lakuti akazi ali olungama akufa kuwapatsa kugonana kwakamwa, iwo amawoneka mopanda phindu pamene akuchita, ndipo amawombera nthawi iliyonse akamagonana nawo, kuti akuwombera movutikira tsiku lonse akungoyembekezera kuti awone pakhomo kuti athe kuchotsa zovala zawo chifukwa iwo ali chabe mwamunthu ndi osatsutsika. Izo siziri zenizeni. Ndipo iwo ndi anthu omwe potsiriza amakumana ndi 'oledzera' zolaula, chifukwa adzikhulupirira okha kuti izi ndi zomwe kugonana zimatanthawuza, izi ndi zomwe ubale uyenera kukhala, ndipo izi ndizo zachigololo. Izi zimangokhala zokhazokha. "
Ndinadziwa kumverera. M. adatengeka ndimachita "molondola," ndikudandaula kuti sindimangotulutsa "kapisozi" mokwanira ndikuti dzanja lake limakhala labwino nthawi zonse. Komabe sakanatha kunena ndendende zomwe amafunikira. Zinalibe kanthu ngati ndimagawanika, kumukwera usiku wonse kapena kugwiritsa ntchito njira imodzi yogonana, sikunali kokwanira. Ndipo ngati ndinkachita nawo zinthu zomwe anali nazo chidwi (kumangoyamwa mkaka wa prostate) amandinena kuti sindimakonda. Ndinayamba kumva ngati nyama yampikisano. Zinali zowonekeratu kuti M. anali atasokonezedweratu ndi zaka zolaula. Sanathenso kusiyanitsa zongopeka ndi zenizeni.
Zodabwitsa, pamene ine ndi M. tinayesa kusuntha zolaula (ngale ya chokopa) sakanakhoza kuchita. "Ndimakukondani. Ine sindingakhoze, "iye anatero. Zinkawoneka ngati kuti ndikadaweruzidwa ngati ndidachita ndikuweruzidwa ngati sindinatero, ndinakhala pakati pa Madonna ndi hule. Pakalipano, zosowa zanga zokhudzana ndi kugonana zinali kutenga mpando wakumbuyo kwa zovuta zake. Ndinkafuna kuti agwiritse ntchito luso lake. Ndinkafuna zambiri. Ndinkakonda masewero. Ndinkafuna kuwerengera pang'ono komanso kukhumba kwambiri. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri, ine ndinkafuna kuti iye akhalebe olimba ndipo asatuluke mpweya monga momwe amachitira kawirikawiri atangomaliza kumene kugonana. Monga momwe amawonera zithunzi zolaula, kugonana kunali kosangalatsa komanso kudzipatula. Chinthu changa chinali chachiwiri. M. anali atayamba kuchita manyazi. "Ndikuyamba kuganiza kuti sindingakuthamangitse," adatero modzidzimutsa.
Potsirizira pake imfa yathu inali imodzi yomwe inali yosapeŵeka. Anakhulupiliradi kuti amafunikira zolaula, kupweteka, kupweteka kwambiri, ndi kugonana kwa abambo kuti akhale osangalala nthawi yaitali, osatha kuona vuto lenileni sizinali zochitika okha koma adziwonongera zolaula. Ndinamkonda, koma ndinkatopa ndikunyozedwa ndipo sindinkafuna kupatula moyo wanga ndi munthu wina yemwe amadziwa zambiri za zigawenga kuposa kukonda.
Patatha miyezi ingapo pamene tinakumana ndi zakumwa, adandiuza chinachake. "Nthawi yokondwera kwambiri ya moyo wanga inali ndi inu pamene tikuphika mukhitchini yanu." Adanena ndi nkhope yake. Zinali zodabwitsa kuti nthawi yake yosangalatsa inalibe chochita ndi kugonana koma chikondi. Ndizoipa kwambiri sakanakhoza kuziwona izo.
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