ndi Alain de Botton
Magulu onse, kumanzere ndi kumanja, amakhulupirira ufulu. Funso ndilakuti kodi pali njira zopezera ufulu wochuluka , kapena kuugwiritsa ntchito molakwika, kotero kuti umayamba kuvulaza zinthu zina zomwe timasamala nazo, monga chitukuko, chitetezo ndi chimwemwe.
Nkhani imabwera pamutu ndi zithunzi zolaula pa intaneti. Maganizo oyenera ndi akuti anthu ayambe kuyang'ana zolaula monga momwe amafunira, monga momwe ayenera kukhalira kuti agule mfuti, kudya zakudya zosayenera, kusudzulana ndi kukwatiranso kasanu ndi kamodzi ndipo osapanga kanthu ka maluso awo: ndi dziko laulere, izi zili choncho.
Koma ufulu ndi chiyani? Ngati mumvetsera kwa katswiri wa zaumulungu ndi filosofi St Augustine, ufulu weniweni sutanthauza ufulu wochita chirichonse. Izi zikutanthauza kupatsidwa mwayi wopezeka pazinthu zonse zofunika kuti moyo ukhale wopambana - ndipo, motero, kutetezedwa ku zinthu zambiri zomwe zimawononga moyo.
Taganizirani za zolaula. Vuto lina ndilakuti zimakopa kwambiri anthu ena, monga momwe mowa ndi cocaine zimakopera. Olemba ndemanga omwe safufuza nkhaniyi kwambiri, omwe mwina kale adayang'ana mu Playboy kapena adawonera kanema wonyansa pa TV ya hotelo mophweka kwambiri kotero kuti palibe vuto. Koma ilipo. Mgwirizano wosadziwa womwe umapangidwa ndi Cisco, Dell, ndi ena ambiri ndi opereka zithunzi zolaula tsopano wapeza njira yopezera njira yopezera cholakwika cha kapangidwe ka amuna. Ubongo womwe poyamba unapangidwa kuti ukhale ndi chokopa kuposa kuwona munthu wa fuko nthawi zina m'nkhalango ya savannah umatayika ndi zomwe zilipo pa intaneti podina batani limodzi: pamene tikukumana ndi zopereka zoti tizichita nawo nthawi zonse zochitika zomwe zingapambane zomwe zingaganizidwe ndi maganizo a Marquis de Sade. Palibe cholimba chokwanira m'malingaliro athu chothandizira chitukuko cha luso lathu laukadaulo.
Timalephera ku zomwe timawerenga ndi kuziwona. Zinthu sizingosamba pa ife. Ife tiri okondana ndipo ambiri mbali zolingalira zopanda nzeru zodzala ndi mahomoni owononga ndi zilakolako, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti sitikutha konse kuwona zokhumba zathu zenizeni. Ngakhale chiopsezo ichi chingachititse manyazi chithunzithunzi chathu, zithunzi zolakwika zingatitumize kuipa. Kuyanjana ndi mtundu wina wa kanema wosakondweretsa kungasewera ndi makampani athu. Izi sizikutanthawuza kuti tiyenera kusiya ufulu wathu wonse ku ulamuliro wotsutsa komanso wopondereza, komabe zimasonyeza kuti nthawi zina tingavomereze malire a ufulu wathu pazinthu zina, kuti tikhale ndi moyo wabwino komanso timatha kukula. Panthawi yachisangalalo, tiyenera kudziyesa tokha kuti ufulu wosasunthika ukhoza kutisokoneza, komanso kuti - ponena za zolaula za pa intaneti - tikhoza kudzipangitsa ife kukhala okondwa kwambiri ngati titachita zochepetsera zomwe timadya.
N'kutheka kuti ndi anthu okha omwe sanamvepo mphamvu zogonana pazinthu zawo zokha zomwe angathe kukhala osadziwika bwino komanso omveka bwino pa nkhaniyi. Mafilosofi a ufulu wa chiwerewere amakopera makamaka kwa anthu omwe alibe chowonongeko kapena choipa chomwe akufuna kuti achite pokha atamasulidwa.
Komabe, aliyense yemwe wakhala akudziwa mphamvu zogonana pafupipafupi komanso zolaula za pa intaneti makamaka kuti abwezeretse zinthu zomwe tikuziika patsogolo ndiye kuti sangachite manyazi pa ufulu. Zithunzi zolaula, monga mowa ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo, zimachepetsa kuthekera kwathu kupirira zowawa zomwe ziri zofunika kuti titsogolere miyoyo yathu bwino. Makamaka, zimachepetsa kuthekera kwathu kupirira zinthu ziwiri zosawerengeka, nkhawa ndi kukhudzidwa. Zomwe timadandaula nazo ndizoona koma zosokoneza zimasonyeza kuti pali chinachake cholakwika, choncho amafunika kumvetsera ndi kutanthauzira moleza mtima - zomwe sizingatheke kuchitika pamene tikuyenera kupereka chimodzi mwa zida zamphamvu kwambiri zosokoneza zomwe zinapangidwa kale. Intaneti yonse imakhala zolaula, ndiwomboledwe wokondwera nthawi zonse zomwe tilibe mphamvu zoyenera kuti tigonjetse, njira yomwe imatitsogolera m'misewu ambiri omwe alibe chochita ndi zosowa zathu. Komanso, zolaula zimatilepheretsa kuvomereza mtundu wa phokoso lomwe ndi lofunikira kuti tipatse malingaliro athu malo omwe malingaliro abwino angatulukidwe, mtundu wa kulumala komwe timakumana nawo mu kusambira kapena paulendo wautali.
Zipembedzo zokha zimagwiritsabe ntchito kugonana mozama kwambiri, m'lingaliro loyamikira mphamvu ya kugonana kutilekanitsa ndi zomwe tikuziika patsogolo. Zipembedzo zokha zimaona kugonana ngati kotheka kukhala koopsa ndi chinachake chomwe tikuyenera kutetezedwa. Sitingamve chisoni ndi zipembedzo zomwe zingatipangitse kuti tiganizirepo m'malo mogonana, mwina sitingafune momwe iwo amaonera, koma amadziwa kuti zithunzi zogonana zingathe kuwonjezera mphamvu zathu zamaganizo zokhala ndi nkhawa zambiri.
Dziko lachidziko limadzudzula mwatsatanetsatane kuti chisilamu chikukweza Hijab ndi burka. Lingaliro lomwe wina angafunikire kudziphimba yekha kuchokera kumutu mpaka kumutu, chifukwa okhulupilira akhoza kutaya mtima wawo kwa Allah atatha kuona wina wodetsedwa, akuwoneka kuti ndi wonyengerera kwa osamalira chisokonezo. Kodi munthu wamkulu angasinthe moyo wake chifukwa cha kuwona kwa mawondo azimayi kapena opukuta? Kodi wina sayenera kukhala wofooketsa maganizo kuti athandizidwe kwambiri ndi gulu la achinyamata omwe ali amaliseche omwe akukwera mobisa pamtunda?
Dziko ladziko lapansi liribe vuto ndi bikinis ndi kugonana kwa mitundu yonse chifukwa, mwa zifukwa zina, sakhulupirira kuti kugonana ndi kukongola kungakhale ndi mphamvu yaikulu pa ife. Mmodzi amatanthawuza kukhala wokwanitsa kuwona kukongola, pa intaneti kapena moona - ndikupitirizabe ndi moyo wake ngati kuti palibe chomwe chinachitika.
Sikunyoza kukongola kwaumunthu kunena kuti nkhaniyi siingakhale yophweka. Inde, ndi msonkho ku mphamvu ya kukongola kuganiza mosiyana. Zipembedzo zikhoza kunyozedwa chifukwa chokhala ochenjera, koma kutali. Pomwe zipembedzo zimatichenjeza za kugonana, zimachokera ku chidziwitso chokhudzana ndi zithumwa ndi mphamvu ya chilakolako. Sangaganize kuti kugonana kunali koipa kwambiri, ngati sakanamvetsa kuti zingakhale zodabwitsa kwambiri - ndipo ngati sakanakhala olimba mtima kuti avomereze kuti izi zikutanthauza kuti zidzakhalanso njira ya ena Zinthu zofunika komanso zofunika, monga Mulungu kapena moyo wanu.
Ngakhale ngati sitikukhulupiliranso mulungu, kuponderezedwa kwina kumawoneka kofunikira kwa zamoyo zathu komanso kugwiritsidwa ntchito mokwanira kwa anthu omwe amalamulidwa komanso okondana. Mbali ya libido yathu iyenera kukakamizidwa pansi, kuponderezedwa sikunali kokha kwa Akatolika, Asilamu ndi Achigonjetso, ayenera kukhala ndi ife kwamuyaya. Chifukwa timayenera kupita kuntchito, kudzipereka ku ubale, kusamalira ana athu ndi kufufuza malingaliro athu, sitingalole kuti zilakolako zathu za kugonana zidziwonetsere popanda malire, pa intaneti kapena ayi; izo zikanatiwononga ife. Kugonana ndi mphamvu imene sitiyenera kuyembekezera kapena kuyifuna kukhala "omasulidwa".
Alain de Botton ndiye mlembi wa buku latsopano, “ Momwe Mungaganizire Zambiri Zokhudza Kugonana ,” lofalitsidwa ndi Picador komanso gawo la mndandanda wa mabuku odzithandiza. Kuti mudziwe zambiri, pitani ku www.theschooloflife.com