Kuledzera kwa zolaula kwadzudzulidwa chifukwa cha kulephera kwa erectile, mavuto amgwirizano ndi kukhumudwa, komabe kugwiritsidwa ntchito kwamavuto kukukulira. Tsopano othandizira ndi makampani opangaukadaulo akupereka mayankho atsopano.
Ta homas adapeza zolaula mwanjira yachikhalidwe: kusukulu. Amakumbukira anzanu akusukulu omwe amalankhula za iwo pabwalo lamasewera ndikuwonetsana makanema pafoni yawo panthawi yopuma. Anali 13 ndipo amaganiza kuti kunali "kuseka". Kenako adayamba kuonera zolaula payekha piritsi lake mchipinda chake. Zomwe zimayamba ngati kugwiritsidwa ntchito mwa apo ndi apo, kumayambiriro kwa kutha msinkhu, zidakhala chizolowezi chatsiku ndi tsiku.
Thomas (osati dzina lake lenileni), yemwe ali ndi zaka zoyambirira za 20, amakhala ndi m'modzi mwa makolo ake, omwe akuti samasamala zomwe amachita pa intaneti. "Panthaŵiyo, zinali ngati zabwinobwino, koma ndikayang'ana m'mbuyo ndimawona kuti zatuluka mwachangu," akutero a Thomas. Atapeza chibwenzi ali ndi zaka 16, adayamba kugonana ndikuonera zolaula zochepa. Koma kuledzera kumangodikirira kuwukanso, akutero.
M'masiku oyamba omaliza ku UK chaka chatha, a Thomas adachotsedwa ntchito. Amakhala ndi abale achikulire ndikuyesera kuwateteza ku Covid kwinaku akumangokhalira kupanikizika ndi ndalama. Amakhala maola ambiri pa intaneti, pomwe masamba azosangalatsa anali atapeza kuchuluka kuchokera kwa anthu okhala mkati.
"Zinakhalanso tsiku ndi tsiku," akutero za chizolowezi chake. "Ndipo ndikuganiza kuti 80% yamaganizidwe anga adachitika chifukwa cha zolaula." Thomas adayamba kufunafuna zowoneka bwino ndikukhala wodzipatula komanso womvetsa chisoni. Kudzidalira kwake kudatsika chifukwa manyazi adamuwononga. Kodi adadzimva kuti akufuna kudzipha? "Inde, ndinafikira pamenepo," akutero. "Ndipamene ndidapita kukaonana ndi Dokotala wanga. Ndinaganiza: Sindingathe kukhala mchipinda changa osachita chilichonse; Ndikufuna thandizo."
Manyazi adaletsa Thomas kuti asatchule zamankhwala adotolo, omwe adamupatsa mankhwala ochepetsa nkhawa. Amasintha malingaliro ake, koma osati chizolowezi chake, chomwe chimayamba kubweretsa kusakhulupirika muubwenzi wake ndikukhudza moyo wake wogonana. Anayamba kuganiza kuti amuna ena ayenera kutsogozedwa munthawi yomweyo. "Kotero ine ndinangoyendetsa zinthu monga 'Momwe ndingaleke kuonera zolaula" ndipo panali zambiri, "akutero.
Tamatsutsana za zolaula zimayang'ana kumapeto kwa msika wamabiliyoni ochulukirapo - komanso bizinesi yocheperako yoletsa zipinda za ana. M'makona ake akuda kwambiri, zolaula zawonetsedwa kuti zimachita malonda a chiwerewere, kugwiririra, zithunzi zobedwa komanso kuzunza, kuphatikiza ana. Ikhozanso kupotoza ziyembekezo za mawonekedwe amthupi ndi machitidwe ogonana, ndikuwonetsa zachiwawa komanso zonyansa, zomwe zimachitikira azimayi. Ndipo wayamba kupezeka ngati madzi apampopi.
Malingaliro ndi boma la UK kukakamiza masamba azolaula kuti ayambitse kutsimikizira zaka zakugwa mu 2019 chifukwa cha zovuta zamaluso komanso nkhawa za ochita zachinsinsi. UK ikuyembekezerabe kukhazikitsa mtundu wina wamalamulo. Pakadali pano, zili kwa makolo kuti athe kugwiritsa ntchito zosefera za omwe amapereka pa intaneti ndikukhulupirira kuti ana awo sakupeza zolaula kunja kwa nyumba yawo.
Msika umayang'aniridwa ndi MindGeek, kampani yaku Canada yomwe ili ndi masamba kuphatikiza YouPorn ndi Pornhub. Omalizawa, omwe amati amalandira alendo okwana 130m tsiku lililonse, adanenanso kuchuluka kwakanthawi pamsewu wopitilira 20% mu Marichi chaka chatha. Mliriwu udayambitsanso kuchuluka kwa anthu achikulire ku OnlyFans, nsanja yaku UK komwe anthu ambiri amagulitsa zolaula zanyumba (mwezi watha, OnlyFans adataya mapulani oletsa zolaula pambuyo pakulira pakati pa ogwiritsa ntchito).
Zotsatira zake, akutero omwe amalimbikitsa zolaula komanso gulu laling'ono koma lokula la akatswiri odziwa zamankhwala, ndikukula kwa kugwiritsidwa ntchito kwamavuto, makamaka mwa amuna omwe anakulira ali ndi zaka zothamanga kwambiri. Amati kumwa mosavutikira kumatha kukulira, kutsogolera ogwiritsa ntchito kufunafuna zowonjezerapo kuti akwaniritse zomwe akufuna. Amadzudzula zolaula chifukwa chakuchititsa kukhumudwa, erectile kukanika ndi nkhani za ubale. Anthu omwe amafunafuna thandizo nthawi zambiri amapeza mavuto awo samamvetsetsedwa. Nthawi zina, amapunthwa kupita kudziko lomwe likukula mwachangu la upangiri pa intaneti womwe udakhala wotsutsana. Zimaphatikizaponso mapulogalamu odziletsa omwe ali ndi malingaliro achipembedzo - komanso mkangano woopsa wokhudza ngati zolaula zilipobe.
Komabe, polimbana ndi chizolowezi chomwa mowa mwauchidakwa, omwe amalimbana ndi zolaula amayembekeza kuti aone zina mwa zoopsa za zolaula. "Ndi bizinesi yomwe imalimbikitsa anthu ambiri… chifukwa kuli ogula, pali achinyengo, ozembetsa komanso zigawenga zomwe zikugwiritsa ntchito zithunzi zolaula zazimayi, atsikana, abambo ndi anyamata kuti apange zinthu zosagwirizana zomwe zikugwiritsidwa ntchito phindu lalikulu," akutero Laila Mickelwait, woyambitsa wa US-based Fund Yachilungamo, yomwe imalimbana ndi kuzunzidwa pa intaneti.
Jack Jenkins sanayambe wakopeka ndi zolaula, koma anali wodziwika pozindikira kudzera mwa anzako akusukulu ali ndi zaka 13. Kafukufuku wopangidwa ndi British Board of Film Classification mu 2019 adati 51% ya ana azaka 11 mpaka 13 adawona zolaula, ndikukwera mpaka 66% ya azaka 14 mpaka 15. (Ziwerengerozi, kuchokera pakufufuza kwa mabanja pa intaneti, zikuyenera kukhala zopanda pake.) Pambuyo pake, Jenkins, wazaka 31, anali kusinkhasinkha za kusinkhasinkha kwa Chibuda pomwe adadzimva kuti akusiya zodetsa nkhawa, kuphatikizapo zolaula. "Chinali chabe chinthu chomwe sindinkafunanso m'moyo wanga," akutero.
Jenkins analinso wochita bizinesi - ndipo anapeza mwayi. Anakhala maola ambiri akuchita kafukufuku wamsika pamisonkhano, kuphatikiza Reddit, pomwe anthu amakambirana zovuta zamavuto ogwiritsa ntchito madigiri osiyanasiyana, kuyambira pamlingo wake mpaka "omwe ali ndi chizolowezi chowonera omwe akuwonera maola 10 patsiku". Onse anali osasangalala kugawana vuto lawo, kapena adaweruzidwa pomwe amafunafuna chithandizo kudzera pachizolowezi kapena mankhwala amisala.
Kotero Jenkins anamanga Akukwera, yomwe imati ndi "pulogalamu yokhayo padziko lonse yoletsa komanso kusiya zolaula". Pa chindapusa, imapereka ukadaulo womwe udapangidwa kuti ukhale wovuta kudutsamo. Imagwira pazida zonse za wogwiritsa ntchito kuti asatseke masamba azolaula okha, koma zachiwerewere pazanema komanso kwina kulikonse. Remojo ilinso ndi dziwe lokulirapo, kuphatikiza kuyankhulana kwa podcast, kusinkhasinkha kotsogozedwa komanso gulu losadziwika pa intaneti. "Omwe akuyanjanirana nawo" amatha kuchenjezedwa mosavuta kuti abwererenso.
Chiyambireni pang'ono mu Seputembara 2020, Jenkins akuti anthu opitilira 100,000 adakhazikitsa Remojo, pano pamtengo wopitilira 1,200 patsiku. Kampaniyo, yomwe imagwiritsa ntchito anthu 15 ku London ndi ku US, yakopa ndalama zokwana £ 900,000 kuchokera kwa anthu asanu ndi atatu.
Jenkins akuti makasitomala ake opitilira 90% ndi amuna, kuphatikiza ambiri ochokera kumayiko achipembedzo kwambiri kuposa UK, monga US, Brazil ndi India. Pali abambo ndi abambo atsopano onga iye omwe akukula. Remojo, yomwe imawononga $ 3.99 (pafupifupi $ 2.90) pamwezi, siyotsutsana ndi zolaula, zotsutsana ndi maliseche kapena zamakhalidwe, Jenkins akuti. "Koma chowonadi ndichakuti, ngati anthu akhala pansi ndikuganiza zaomwe angakwanitse, nthawi zambiri amangonena kuti ndi opanda zolaula."
Pofika nthawi yomwe a Thomas adafika pa Google mu Meyi chaka chino, anali atadzipatula ndipo anali atapeza ntchito ina. Sanathenso kudzipha, koma anapitilizabe kuzolowera zolaula. Atasaka thandizo, Remojo adatulukira. Adatsitsa ndikudikirira kuti awone zomwe zichitike.
Paula Hall, katswiri wama psychotherapist yemwe amachita zachiwerewere komanso zolaula, adayamba kugwira ntchito ndi omwe adayamba kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo mzaka za 90 asadasinthe. Adawona kusintha kwamalingaliro okhudzana ndi chizolowezi chogonana. "Amawoneka ngati nkhani yotchuka," akutero Malo a Laurel, kampani yake ya othandizira 20 ku London ndi Warwickshire. "Anali amuna olemera, amphamvu ndipo anali ndi ndalama zolipirira ogonana nawo." Zaka khumi ndi zisanu zapitazo, ochepa mwa makasitomala a Hall adatinso zolaula ngati njira yoledzera. Kenako kunabwera intaneti yothamanga kwambiri. "Tsopano, mwina ndi 75% ya omwe amaonera zolaula."
Mafunso adakwera kuposa 30% mchaka chatha kuyamba kwa mliriwu; Hall adalemba akatswiri asanu. Amawona makasitomala pafupifupi 300 pamwezi. "Tikuwona anthu omwe chithandizo ndiwofunikira kwambiri," akutero. "Zizolowezi zoledzera ndizizindikiro - njira yothanirana ndi matenda kapena kufooka."
Ntchito ya Hall imaphatikizapo kupeza ndikuyankhula za zomwe zimayambitsa vutoli ndikumanganso ubale wabwino ndi kugonana. Sikuti, akuti, za kudziletsa. Ambiri mwa madera ambiri azinthu zolaula amalimbikitsa kusiya kuseweretsa maliseche kwathunthu. Izi zikuphatikizira zinthu za NoFap, gulu la "zolaula" lomwe lidayamba ngati Reddit forum zaka 10 zapitazo. (Fap ndi mawu achidule okhudzana ndi maliseche, ngakhale NoFap.com tsopano akuti sikuti ndikutsutsana ndi maliseche.)
NoFap ndi anthu ambiri omwe ali ndi vuto logwiritsa ntchito zolaula ali pankhondo yolimbana ndi omwe amachita zachiwerewere. Chipembedzo chikuwoneka kuti chikulimbikitsa ena mwamphamvu mbali zonse. (Mickelwait, wa Justice Defense Fund, anali woyang'anira ntchito yothetsa ku Exodus Cry, gulu lachikhristu lomwe limalimbana ndi kuchitidwa zachinyengo. Komabe, mu 2018, World Health Organisation idasankha chizolowezi chogonana ngati vuto la thanzi, ndikupangitsa kuti zigwirizane ndi kutchova juga.
Kafukufuku angapo adawona momwe zolaula zimakhudzira ubongo. Ena anena kuti zimayambitsa kukhumba kwakukulu, koma osati kusangalala, mwa ogwiritsa ntchito mokakamiza - mawonekedwe osokoneza bongo. Ena anena izi dongosolo la mphotho yaubongo ndilocheperako mwa ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula nthawi zonse, kutanthauza kuti angafunikire zithunzi zowoneka bwino kuti adzuke. "Pomaliza, zilibe kanthu kuti umatchedwa chiyani, chifukwa ndi vuto," akutero Hall. Wawonapo amuna omwe amayenda mchipinda chonse ndipo sangaganizire za china chilichonse mpaka atamaliza zolaula: "Amayamba kuseka."
James (osati dzina lake lenileni) ali ndi zaka zoyambirira za m'ma 30 ndipo, monga Thomas, adapeza zolaula ali ndi zaka 13. "Makolo anga ankadana ndipo ndimabisala m'chipinda chapamwamba pakompyuta yanga," akutero. "Zithunzi zolaula zinali chida chothandizira kupweteka kwa malingaliro aliwonse omwe ndinali nawo."
James adayesetsa kupeza thandizo ku yunivesite, pomwe amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula kuti achepetse zovuta zomwe zimangowonjezera nthawi yake, ndikupweteketsa maphunziro ake. Anapeza mlangizi wa ubale. "Ndinali wokonzeka kulankhula za zolaula zanga zolaula kwa nthawi yoyamba, ndipo ndinali wamantha kwambiri, ndipo mayiyo anali ngati: 'Bwanji osangosiya?' Ankakonda kundimvera chisoni. ”
Zomwe zidamuchitikirazo zidapangitsa James kuti asapeze thandizo mpaka pomwe anali ndi zaka 25, pomwe nkhawa yayikulu pantchito idamupangitsa kuti atsike kwambiri. "Ndinazindikira kuti ndimagwiritsa ntchito zolaula pamlingo wapamwamba kuposa momwe intaneti imatha kuzipangira," akutero. Chizolowezi chake chinawononga maubwenzi awiri akulu. "Zimangowononga moyo kukhala ndi chilakolako chofuna zolaula mukamamva zoopsa, koma osasangalala mukakhala pachibwenzi."
Asanakumane ndi Hall zaka ziwiri zapitazo, James adapatsidwa mwayi wothandizidwa ndi munthu yemwe samadziwa zakumwa zoledzeretsa. Adayamba njira yakugonana, koma adadana ndi pulogalamu ya 12 yomwe akuti idapangidwa mozungulira manyazi komanso "mphamvu yayikulu".
Hall adayamba kukwiya ndi mkwiyo womwe James adamva kwa makolo ake. "Ndiye zinali zokhudza kufunanso zogonana," akutero. Anayamba kukonza mikhalidwe mozungulira. Bwalo lapakati linali ndi zolaula ndipo linali loletsedwa. Gulu la "omwe ali pachiwopsezo" limaphatikizapo makanema ndi mawebusayiti ena osagwiritsa ntchito zolaula. "Bwalo lakunja ndi machitidwe omwe ndi abwino komanso othandiza ndipo ndiyenera kuchita, monga kuyimbira foni banja langa ndikupita kumisonkhano yakumwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo," akutero.
Kuyankhula ndi anthu ena omwe adamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo yakhala njira yofunika kwambiri yolimbana ndi James. Amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula zocheperako tsopano, koma ngakhale patatha zaka zitatu zamuvuta kusiya. "Mungathe kudzipatula nokha ku mowa kapena mankhwala osokoneza bongo, koma simungathe kudzipatula nokha ku chiwerewere," akutero. “Koma pakadali pano ndimamvetsetsa ndipo nditha kuwona njira yopita. M'mbuyomu munkakhala anthu okhazikika kwambiri. ”
Honse akuti pafupifupi 95% ya mafunso ku Laurel Center amachokera kwa amuna - ndikuti amayi ambiri omwe amalumikizana amakhala ndi nkhawa ndi anzawo. Amakhulupirira kuti azimayi amaimira anthu ambiri omwe amagwiritsa ntchito zovuta, koma amaganiza kuti achiwerewere azimayi amakumana ndi vuto lalikulu kwambiri lamanyazi, chifukwa akuyembekeza kuwonedwa ngati "mahule kapena amayi oyipa". Komabe akuti ndale zomwezi zimangowasiya amuna osasunthika komanso mavuto awo osayamikiridwa.
"Tikulera atsikana kuti akhale olimba pachitetezo cha kugonana - 'Musatenge matenda opatsirana pogonana, musatenge mimba, musakhale ndi mbiri'," akutero. "Timalimbikitsa anyamata kuti asatengere atsikana komanso kusamalira malingaliro atsikana." Pochita izi, Hall akuti, "timasiyanitsa malingaliro a amuna ndi zakugonana ali aang'ono, pomwe ndi azimayi timasiyanitsa chilakolako chawo ndi kugonana kwawo - ndipo timadabwa chifukwa chomwe tili ndi vuto".
Hall imalimbikitsa maphunziro abwinobwino ogonana komanso maubale, kuphatikiza mwayi wothandizira anthu omwe ali ndi vuto. Amakhulupiliranso kutsimikizira zaka. Koma ngakhale maboma atapanga china chake chomwe chimagwira ntchito, a Hall akuwonjezera kuti, "tiyenera kuvomereza kuti mwana wotsimikiza nthawi zonse azipeza njira yomenyera dongosololi, ndichifukwa chake tiyenera kuphunzitsanso".
Thomas ndi James amakhulupiriranso malamulo okhwima. "Nthawi zambiri ndimaganiza kuti ndikadakhala ndi fyuluta pa intaneti ndili ndi zaka 13, ndikadakhala wokwatiwa ndi ana tsopano osakhala ndi zokambirana izi," akutero James. A Jenkins a Remojo akuti: “Ana sangakhale ndi mlandu wolumikizana ndi izi. Ndizomvetsa chisoni kuti timavomereza momwe zinthu zilili. ”
Ndikalankhula ndi Thomas, pulogalamu yake ya Remojo imamuuza kuti wakhala akuchita zolaula masiku 57. Akuti adadabwitsidwa ndi zotsatira. Kuletsa zolaula m'malo mopeza chithandizo chikuwoneka kuti zikumugwirira ntchito. Patsiku lomwe adatsitsa Remojo, a Thomas adapanga chibwenzi chake kuti apange ndikubisa chiphaso chomwe chidzafunika kusintha zosintha zilizonse za blocker. Amaganiza kuti alibe 80% yavuto lake ndipo amalakalaka zolaula kamodzi kokha sabata iliyonse kapena apo. "Kugonana sikumakhalanso kovuta ndipo bwenzi langa limayambanso kundikhulupirira," akutero. "Zikuwoneka ngati zopanda pake kuti ndinene, koma sindili wovutika mtima kwambiri pano ndipo zikuwoneka ngati ndikulamuliranso moyo wanga."
Lumikizani ku nkhani yoyambirira ya Guardian (Seputembara 6, 2021)
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