Mangani, pali zambiri zoti mumasulire apa.
Laura Miano ndi wolemba nkhani zokhudza kugonana ndi maubwenzi komanso katswiri wokhudza kugonana yemwe amakhala ku Melbourne. Cholinga chake ndi kuthandiza anthu omwe ali ndi nkhawa zokhudzana ndi kugonana komanso kuthandiza anthu omwe angafune kupititsa patsogolo moyo wawo wogonana kupitirira miyambo yachikhalidwe. Kuti mudziwe zambiri za iye, tsatirani @lauramianosexology kapena mulankhule naye apa.
“Kodi zolaula ndi zoipa kwa inu?” - Kusinkhasinkha Zolaula
Zikomo chifukwa cha funso lanu. Zolaula ndizosangalatsa. Komabe, tisanalowe muzinthu, ndikofunikira kuti tiwonetse kuti zolaula ndi mawu ambulera yayikulu. Zimatanthauza zinthu zambiri zosiyana.
Zimaphatikizapo zolemba zolaula, mabuku omvera, zithunzi, makanema, macheza amoyo ndi zina zambiri. Zomwe zili mu izi zitha kuyambira pakuyang'anitsitsa kwamaliseche pakati pa okonda awiri mpaka makanema olaula omwe atha kukhala okhudzana ndi zachiwerewere, ziwonetsero zolakwika za jenda, ndi zina zazitsulo zosavomerezeka.
Ngakhale zomwe mungaganize, ngati ochita sevalo avomereza, zonse zomwe zimakhala pansi pa ambulerayi ndizabwino. Zili bwino kwathunthu kutengera chinthu chimodzi - momwe mumamvera mukamazipeza. Kwa ena, zinthu zopitilira muyeso ndizochulukirapo, ndipo zimadutsa malire awo amakhalidwe. Kwa ena, zinthu zofewa sizokwanira, ndipo sizimawasangalatsa.
Choyamba, kaya zolaula ndi zabwino kapena zoipa kwa inu zingadalire mtundu wa zolaula zomwe mumakonda poyamba. Kenako palinso mbali ina yoti muganizire - kuchuluka kwa zolaula zomwe zimasokoneza moyo wanu ndikupangitsa kuti ziyembekezo zanu zenizeni za kugonana zikhale zenizeni. Iyi ndi mbali ya zolaula yomwe mungakhale mukuzidziwa bwino. Mbali 'yoipa'. Ngakhale palinso mbali yabwino ya zolaula (zambiri za izi mtsogolo), mbali yoipa ikhoza kukhala yovuta kwambiri.
Izi ndichifukwa choti zolaula ndizolimbikitsa kwambiri. Imasefukira njira zopindulitsa zaubongo wanu mpaka pamlingo wosatheka mwachilengedwe. Monga ubongo wathu umalimbikitsidwa kufunafuna mphotho - chakudya, kugonana, kulumikizana ndi ena ndi zina - zolaula zili ngati kupeza chakudya chamaphunziro asanu pomwe mungakwanitse kugula zazikulu. Ndizosangalatsa kwambiri ndipo kuziwona zikutulutsa mulu wa dopamine.
Nthawi iliyonse wina akawona kanema watsopano wokhala ndi zochitika zosiyanasiyana zogonana, dopamine imatulutsidwa. Njira zathu zamalipiro zimakonda zatsopano komanso zatsopano, monga momwe timakhalira ndi nthawi yaukwati ndi wokonda. Poyamba ndizosangalatsa, koma pakapita nthawi chisangalalo chimatha. Momwemonso, komabe ndi zolaula izi zimachitika mwachangu. Mukadutsa patsamba lolaula, mumawona makanema ambiri pasanathe mphindi. Mutha kuwona momwe zingakhalire zosokoneza, sichoncho?
Kwa iwo omwe zolaula sizikuyenda bwino, ndichinthu choyipa ngati chikuwapweteka komanso kuwononga moyo wawo wonse m'njira yolakwika. Mfundo ziwiri zomalizazi ndizofunikira kwambiri. Anthu ena amawona zolaula ngati zoyipa pomwe amapita ndipo amatha kuganiza kuti wokondedwa wawo (kapena iwowo) ali ndi vuto pogwiritsa ntchito kapena kudalira. Palibe vuto kudalira, koma zikayamba mavuto ena, ndipo simukonda mavuto enawo, ndipamene zinthu zimayamba kukhala zovuta.
Ndiye, mavuto awa atha kukhala otani? Zolaula zalumikizidwa ndi nkhani zingapo zakugonana monga kusokonekera kwa erectile, kulephera kumaliseche / kutulutsa umuna komanso chilakolako chogonana, zomwe zimachitika pokhudzana ndi kugonana pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Zomwe zimachitika ndikuti, mayankho anu ogonana monga kukondweretsedwa ndi zolaula zimakhazikika pazomwe mumakumana ndi zolaula.
Kutanthauza, laputopu pamimba panu, dzanja lolimba komanso lofulumira kapena kusuntha kwa zala kumaliseche kwanu, chinsalu pamaso panu, komanso zolaula, zonse zimakhala zofunikira kuti mukwaniritse chilakolako chogonana. Ndipo momwe ubongo wathu umakondera mphotho, imagwirizanitsa zinthu zonsezi ndi mphotho yayikulu yomwe zolaula zimabweretsa.
Kwa ambiri, zolaula zimatha kumangirizidwa ndi kuthekera kwawo kuti munthu azichita zachiwerewere kotero kuti pamene kugonana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi kukuzungulira, ndizovuta kukhala ndi chilakolako, kukondweretsedwa kapena kukhala ndi vuto. Monga ndanenera, chilengedwe sichimakupangitsani mphotho yanu monga zolaula.
Pamwamba pa izi, popeza timasowa kwambiri maphunziro azakugonana pazosangalatsa komanso kugonana komweko, anthu ambiri amaphunzira zachiwerewere, kuyiwala kuti zolaula ndizosangalatsa osati zogonana zenizeni. Nthawi zambiri pamakhala njira yovomerezera yomwe imawonetsedwa, kusowa kwa kusiyanasiyana kwamthupi, kuyang'ana zosangalatsa za amuna, kusankhana kusiyana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi komanso kusaganizira zogonana motetezeka.
Anthu omwe amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula kuti amvetsetse momwe angawonere kugonana ali pachiwopsezo chokhala ndi ziyembekezo zosatheka kwa iwo eni ndi omwe amagonana nawo. Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kusiyanitsa pakati pa kugonana kwenikweni ndi zosangulutsa zogonana.
Uwu ndiye mdima wa zolaula. Zitha kubweretsa manyazi polephera kukwaniritsa zomwe munthu akuyembekeza, kusakhutitsidwa ndi kugonana pakati pawo, kusamvana pakati paubwenzi, komanso zovuta zingapo zakugonana. Sizodabwitsa kuti kuchuluka kwa zovuta zakugonana kudakulirakulira ndikuchulukirachulukira kwa intaneti.
Chifukwa chake, mutha kukhala omasukiratu pano. Ngakhale zomwe mwina mukuganiza, palinso mbali yabwino ya zolaula. Ngati muli osamala komanso odziwa za momwe mumalolera kuti zikhudze momwe mumaganizira komanso momwe mukuyembekezerera zogonana, mutha kupindulabe zambiri!
Mutha kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula ndi mnzanu kuti nonse mukhale ndi malingaliro, kuyesa china chosiyana kapena kuyambitsa kulumikizana pazokhumba zogonana. Mutha kuyigwiritsanso ntchito nokha ngati chida chogonana ndipo ikhoza kukhala njira yabwino yosinthira zilakolako zogonana popeza kuwonera anthu ena akugonana kumatha kuchotsa manyazi kuti ndiwe munthu wogonana.
Mpaka pamlingo, itha kukhalanso chida chophunzitsira popeza anthu amatha kuphunzira za kinks and fetishes, maudindo atsopano, ndi maluso ena ogonana. Palinso zolaula zakale kwambiri zomwe zimatchedwa zachikazi. Izi zikuwonetsa chisangalalo chogawidwa mofananira ndikutsimikizira kuti ochita sewerowo adalipira ndipo adavomera zachiwerewere chilichonse muvidiyoyi. Ngati izi zikumveka ngati chinthu chanu, yesani Bellesa kapena XXConfessions.
Choncho, kaya zolaula ndi zabwino kapena zoipa kwa inu zimadalira momwe mumazigwiritsira ntchito, zomwe mumatenga kuchokera pamenepo komanso momwe zimakukhudzirani. Ngati mukuganiza kuti inuyo, mnzanu kapena mnzanu mukuchita nawo mbali yovuta kwambiri, fufuzani zinthu monga Your Brain on Porn kapena lembetsani kuti mukakumane ndi katswiri wokhudza kugonana . Mutha kukhala otsimikiza kuti palibe vuto, kapena mutha kuyamba kuchitapo kanthu kuti musinthe zizolowezi zanu zolaula kukhala zomwe zimakuthandizani, osati kukuvulazani.
Wogwiritsa ntchito zolaula aliyense amakhala ndi zokumana nazo zosiyana. Sipadzakhala umodzi umodzi wokwanira zonse. Chifukwa chake, kuti muyankhe funso lanu, zolaula zitha kukhala zabwino kwa inu. Zingakhalenso zoipa kwa inu. Monga mayankho anga ambiri, yankho ndi… zimatengera.