Kodi mungakhale mukuthandizira mavuto anu m'chipinda chogona?
10 Jan 2019
Ngati mukukumana ndi malo owuma kuchipinda, simuli nokha. Ndipo, tangoganizani chiyani? Zomwe zikuyambitsa izi mwina ndizosavuta kuzichotsa. Ngati simuli "osangalala" nazo kugonana monga mudakhala kale, zinthu zina zodabwitsa zingakhale zikusewera zomwe zingawononge moyo wanu wa kugonana. N'zomvetsa chisoni kuti nthawi yochepa pakati pa mapepala ndi wokondedwa wanu nthawi zambiri amachepetsa chimodzi mwa zinthu zokondweretsa kwambiri.
Pali zifukwa zosiyanasiyana zomwe zingatheke kuti mukhale ndi "chilala chogonana," komabe zifukwa zambirizi zimagwirizanitsidwa, mwa njira ina, kuzinthu zodzikuza. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, pali zinthu zomwe simungadziwe zomwe zingayambitse kudzidalira, ndipo kudzichepetsa kungabweretse mavuto aakulu m'chipinda chogona..
Mukapanda kupatula nthawi yokwanira yogonana kapena "zokondweretsa," zingayambitse kukhumudwa, mkwiyo, mkwiyo, nkhawa, ndi / kapena kupsinjika maganizo - zomwe zingakuchititseni kuti musamangogonana.
Uthenga wabwino ndiwotheka kusintha khalidwe lanu la kugonana podziwa chimene chikuchititsa kuti asalowerere.
Ichi ndi chifukwa chake moyo wanu wa kugonana ukuvutika:
Kuonera Zogonana ndi Wzanu
N'chizoloŵezi kwa maanja, makamaka a nthawi yayitali, kuti aziwonera zolaula pamodzi ndikuyembekeza kuti "zidzasangalatsa" miyoyo yawo ya kugonana. Koma, zodabwitsa, zikhoza kukhala ndi zotsatira zosiyana, makamaka ngati simunakonzedwe bwino kuti zikhale zofunikira pamoyo wanu. Ndipo, ngakhale kuti zolaula zingakhale zothetsera "banja langwiro", kwa ena, zingayambitse mavuto aakulu mkati ndi m'chipinda chogona. Zithunzi zingathe kupanga zoyembekezeka zosatheka. Ndipo, tiyeni tikhale oona mtima, tiwone wokondedwa wanu akuukitsidwa ndi winawake kapena china chake chikhale chovuta - zovuta kwenikweni.
Pamwamba pa izo, kuonera zolaula kwambiri, ngakhale ndi mnzako, kungayambitse kapena kuvulaza zovuta zogonana monga zolaula erectile kukanika ndi kutsegulira msanga. Komanso, zingayambe kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira, ngati mwangozi inu kapena mnzanu mukuyembekeza kuti "muyese" zomwe akuwona pazenera. Zotsatira zake, mungathe kuonjezera mwayi wanu wopanga nkhawa ndi nkhawa mukangogonana.
Ndipo, pamene ambiri amaganiza kuti zolaula zimangowonjezera mavuto kwa amuna, izo sizikanakhala patali ndi choonadi. Ndipotu kuonera zolaula kungayambitsenso kugonana kwa amayi monga kugonana kochepa, matenda osokoneza bongo, kapena kulephera kuukitsidwa. Choncho, ngati mwasankha kuwonjezera zolaula mu moyo wanu wa kugonana, khalani oganiza bwino ndipo muzitha kuchepetsa nthawi yochuluka yomwe mukugwiritsira ntchito m'dziko lopanda malingaliro, kotero mutha kulingalira pa chenichenicho.
Kusokoneza bongo
Izi zingadabwe, koma magetsi anu angayambitse mavuto. Makamaka mafoni a m'manja, mapiritsi, ngakhalenso makanema a televiziyo akhala akulowetsa m'chipinda chogona, ndipo amachititsa mavuto osiyanasiyana. Ndipotu, zakhala zovuta kwambiri kuti maanja aziyika mafoni awo - ngakhale pamene akuyesera kukhala pachibwenzi. Anthu akhala oledzera kwambiri pa zamagetsi awo omwe ena amawawonekera panthawiyi - ndipo nthawi yomweyo akugonana.
Ndiye, pali anthu, omwe amathamangira kugonana kuti athe kubwerera ku kanema, sitcom, masewera apakanema, kutumizirana mameseji, kuyimbira foni, zolaula, komanso / kapena zochitika zapa media zomwe adachitapo kale. Kwa ambiri, "zinthu" izi kukhala ofunikira kuposa kuyankhula ndi ena - pamasom'pamaso. Afunikanso kwambiri kuposa "kulumikizana" ndi wokondedwa wawo kaya mwakugonana kapena mwa kungokhala pamodzi. Tikukhala "osalumikizidwa" wina ndi mnzake. Zotsatira zake, ndife ocheperako, omvera, komanso odalirika kwa anthu ena.
"Kutulutsidwa" kumeneku kunayamba kukhudza miyoyo yathu yachikondi ndi chikondi maubale. Njira yabwino yopewera zamagetsi kuti asatenge ndi kuchititsa mavuto m'chipinda chogona ndi kuwachotsera iwo makamaka makamaka pa nthawi yogonana ndi zochitika zogonana. Ikani nthawi yogwiritsa ntchito zamagetsi ndikuzichotsa mpaka tsiku lotsatira. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyi kuti mudziwane mofanana - mwamaganizo ndi pogonana, pitirizani nthawi pamodzi, ndipo pangani zochitika zomwe mumakhala nazo nthawi zonse.
Malo Osintha
Izi sizinadutsepo malingaliro anu, koma kusintha malo nthawi yogonana zingayambitse mavuto m'moyo wanu wogonana. Mabanja ena amakhulupirira kuti ngati "atasintha" ndi wokondedwa wawo yemwe ali ndi udindo wogonjera, ndipo wokondedwayo amatsatira udindo wake; Idzalamulira moto mu miyoyo yawo ya kugonana. Ndipo, kwa ena izo zidzatero, koma kwa ena, izo sizidzatero. Ndipotu, izi zingayambitse mavuto kapena kupititsa patsogolo mu chipinda chogona. Bwanji? Eya, pakupangitsa mnzanuyo kumverera wosatetezeka kapena wosatsimikizika pa nthawi yogonana.
Ngati mumakonda kukhala bwenzi lapamtima pachibwenzi, koma makamaka pa nthawi yogonana, zingakuchititseni kumva "kunja kwa malo" kapena osasangalatsa, zomwe zingasokoneze moyo wanu wa kugonana. Apanso, izi zingayambitse kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira - mkati ndi m'chipinda chogona. Choncho, musanayambe "maudindo" omwe mumakonda kusewera nthawi foreplay kapena kugonana; onetsetsani kuti nonse muli m'bwalo. Ndipo, ngati mnzanuyo akuwoneka kuti sakukhudzidwa ndi lingaliro kapena ntchitoyo - yaniyimire ndikuyimiranso mtsogolo. Kumbukirani, onse awiri ayenera kukhala omasuka komanso otetezeka pazochitika zogonana, ngati sizili choncho, pamapeto pake zidzasungira chakukhosi ndi kugonana kochepa kwambiri.
Chomaliza, chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zingayambitse mavuto m'chipindamo ndi kudzichepetsa. Monga tanena kale, misewu yonse imayambira kapena imayambanso kudzidalira. Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti ngati mulibe kudzichepetsa, kawirikawiri, mukhoza kusungunula mu moyo wanu wa kugonana ndi ubale wanu, ngati simugwiritsa ntchito.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati simukukondwera ndi maonekedwe anu, zachuma, ntchito zanu, kapena chiyanjano, zingathe kulowa m'moyo wanu kumadera ena monga moyo wanu wa kugonana. Zowonjezereka, zingakhudze kuchuluka kwa kapangidwe ka kugonana komwe mumakhala nako pakukupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka komanso osatsimikizika kudera lino. Pazithunzi zochepa, kugonana kochepa kwambiri kungayambitsenso kukhumudwa, ndikudziona kuti ndi wosayenera komanso kudzikayikira.
Ngati izi zimachitika pafupipafupi, zimatha kubweretsa kudzidalira m'chipinda chogona. Zotsatira zomaliza? Zowawa, zovuta zaubwenzi komanso kuchepa kwa kugonana. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukumva kuti simukuyenerera, yesetsani kukulitsa chidaliro chanu ndikuvomereza kuti wokondedwa wanu sangakhale nanu mukapanda kutero!
Powombetsa mkota…
Choonadi ndi ife tonse timachita zinthu zomwe zingawononge moyo wathu wa kugonana. Zina mwa zinthu izi ndizoonekeratu ndipo zina mwa izo sizowoneka bwino. Ena ali olamulidwa ndipo ena sangathe kuwongolera. Ndipo, zina ndi zovuta kwambiri. Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti mungathe kusintha zomwe zimachitika m'cipinda. Gawo loyamba ndikuyang'ana mozama moyo wanu wa kugonana. Kodi mukukumana ndi mavuto ndipo ngati zili choncho, nchiyani chomwe chikawapangitsa? Kukhala okhulupilika ndi wekha ndi mnzanu ndizofunika kuti muthe kugonana - ndi chiyanjano chanu. Mukamadziwa zomwe zikuyambitsa vutoli, mukhoza kukonza. Ndipo, ndi chithandizo ndi chithandizo, moyo wanu wa kugonana udzakhala bwino kuposa kale!
Dr. RY Langham akugwira Master of Science muukwati komanso kuchipatala ndi Ph.D. mu maganizo apabanja. Amatumikira monga katswiri wodziwa ntchito Between Us Clinic, zomwe zimapereka chithandizo chogonana pazinthu za amuna ndi maanja omwe akukwera msanga.
;
