Kodi Kugonana Kunayambitsa Kugonana Kwathu Kwamuyaya? (Daily Dose)

Tikhoza nthawi zina, kuchoka, koma kubweretsa gudumu lachitatu lasintha momwe timagonana. Ngati ife tikhala nazo izo nkomwe.

Kupeza zolaula kunkayesa khama. Zinaphatikizapo kulimba mtima, kudzikuza, ndi malo osungira malo (yesani pansi pa kama wa bambo). Mphoto-huzzah! Mphindi obisika wa Playboys!-Zinali zowonongeka kwambiri ndi miyezo ya lero.

Tsopano aliyense, paliponse, ndi ochepa chabe omwe angasinthe kuti asakhale ngati John Mayer amene, mwa ake zokambirana za Playboy zotchuka, adadzitama nati, "Pakhala pali masiku pomwe ndidawona maliseche 300 ndisanadzuke pabedi." Koma zomwe adawulula zidawonjezera zoyambitsa. A "Body-Is-a-Wonderland Man" anati: "Zithunzi zolaula pa intaneti zasinthiratu zomwe makolo anga amafuna." “Kodi izi sizimakhudza bwanji psychology yokhudzana ndi munthu wina? Iyenera kutero. ”  

Chani amachita kuti tichite masewera athu, ma libidos, ndi maubwenzi athu pamene tili .0001 masekondi tingapeze chilichonse chokhudzana ndi kugonana komwe timafuna kuti tizikhala ndi maganizo oipa. 

Pamene zikuchitika, zambiri. Zithunzi zolaula zimagwirizana ndi moyo wathu wa kugonana, ubale wathu, komanso momwe timaonekera. Tiyeni tiwerenge njira:

1. Porn zimayambitsa kugonana kosagwirizana.

"Palibe chinthu china chimene chimandichitira ine, osati nkomwe kwenikweni" akutero Joseph Gordon-Levitt zolaula khalidwe mkati Don Jon. Pali anthu ambiri onga iye kunja kugonana ndi-kapena osachepera pafupi- osagwirizana nawo. 

"Kugonana ndi amuna omwe amagwiritsa ntchito zithunzi zolaula amamva ngati ndikuwombera. Zimamva kuti palibe ubwenzi, "anatero Alaska * wazaka 19. "Wokondedwa wanga ankaonera zolaula ndi kuseweretsa maliseche pamene ndinali kugona naye. Udindo wanga unali kungokhala pamenepo. Nthawi zina amatha kuona zolaula kwa kanthaŵi kenaka amafuna kugonana ndi ine, koma nthawi zambiri amatha kudzipangitsa yekha, "akutero Elizabeth, 19. Brian Moylan, mkonzi wamkulu wa Nerve komanso wakale VICE wolemba nkhani, amakonda amakonda kuwonera zolaula ndi chibwenzi chake, koma wawonanso kugwedeza. "Nthawi zina timakhala tikuwoneka ndikuwonera zolaula ndipo ndimangokhala ngati chidole chogonana mu malingaliro ake odzisangalatsa (komanso nthawi zina mosiyana)."

Khalidwe labwino Andrea Kuszewski limafotokoza kuti "ngati wina amadalira kwambiri mtundu winawake wa zosokoneza kuti asangalale, zitha kukhala zovuta kudzuka pomwe kulibe komweko." Iye akuti, "Ili ndiye vuto lalikulu pakuwonera zolaula zambiri - munthuyo amayamba kuchita bwino ndi zachilendo komanso kusiya njira zomwe zimawakondweretsa, ndipo zina zonse, kuphatikiza kukondana, zimayamba kuwoneka zopanda pake poyerekeza."

Kwa anthu omwe amadziwa-kapena kuzindikira-zomwe akusowa, kusowa kwa kugwirizana kwa maganizo ndikutaya kwenikweni. "Ndikuganiza kuti tikusowa pachibwenzi komanso mwayi wokhala ndi uthunthu weniweni. Kugonana kwachiwerewere kumaphunzitsa achinyamata kugonana popanda maganizo, "akutero Alaska.

2. Utsogoleri wodzudzula ukulamulira kwambiri.

Zokopa sizatsopano. Ndipo nthawi zambiri amatha kusangalala. Kupatula tsopano iwo akuwoneka ngati iwo ali njira yaikulu. "Anyamata sangakwatirane. Amafuna kugonana, ndipo amapita kuchokera kwa atsikana kupita kwa atsikana, "akutero Dr. Gail Dines, Mlembi wa Pornland: Mmene Porn Zachitira Zogonana Zathu, ndi woyambitsa Siyani Chikhalidwe cha Zolaula. Dines amati amayi achichepere amavutika ndi zomwe akunena kuti "amangozibweza" atatha kugwirizanitsa ndikudziimba mlandu, akuganiza kuti akuchita chinachake kuti akope anthu olakwika.

"Kucheza ndi anyamata akuyamwitsa," akutero Madison, 26, yemwe amakonda kusonkhana ndi amuna achikulire. "Koyamba kovuta kwambiri ndi chinthu chodabwitsa, koma pakubwera kwa Viagra, ndimakonda kukanidwa, kuyang'anitsitsa, ndikuyamikiridwa (ndiye kuti ndathamangitsidwa nthawi yambiri) kusiyana ndi kulemberana mameseji ndi zopempha kuti ndikhale" 'asanamvepo kwa wina kwa mlungu umodzi.'

3. Nthawi zambiri zithunzi zimayambitsa kugonana.

"Pamene ndinali 21, sindingaganize kuti wina angandifunse kuti, 'Hey, kodi ndingabwere nkhope yanu?'," Anatero Anastasia, 32. "Izo sizingakhale ngakhale funso. Koma tsopano. "

Ngati mukuyesera zinthu zatsopano, zolaula zingakhale chitsimikizo chothandiza, koma atsikana amatha kumasulidwa ndi abambo omwe amapempha mwamsanga ntchito zapakati kapena ntchito zapatsiku. "Atsikana awa ndi osowa ndi chikhalidwe cha zolaula," Dines adanena DAME. "Anyamata amafuna kugonana kwachinyamata. Amafuna kugonana koopsa. Amakonda kukwapula, amakonda kukoka tsitsi, amachitcha mayina. Zimene atsikana samazimvetsa ndikuti chikhalidwe cha chilakolako chimenechi chikuwonetsedwa mthupi lawo. "

Monga zolaula zimakhala zofanana ndi nyimbo zam'mbuyo mu dorms ndi zipinda, owonerera akhoza kukhumudwa. Kugonana kawirikawiri kalekale-komwe, mwinamwake kutumiza ana zaka makumi angapo zapitazo ku ziwalo zogonana-kumakhala kosalala, ndipo chiwerewere chiyenera kugwedezeka. Izi zimabweretsa zolaula zovuta kwambiri, komanso kuwonetsa zachiwawa komanso zochita zoopsa.

"Kunena zoona, mungathe kukankhira kutali," anatero Dines. "Akufuna kuona momwe mungayambitsire mtsikana msinkhu wanu mpaka kumatula."

Zoipa, kuwonjezeka kwa zolaula kwakukulu kungakhale chizindikiro cha chilakolako cha kugonana. "Ngati mumaganizira za zomwe zimapangitsa kugonana kukhala kosangalatsa, ndiko kugwirizana kwanu ndi munthu amene mukugonana naye. Ngati mutenga zimenezi, monga mukuchitira zolaula, muyenera kuzisunga ndikumverera kwina. Kotero malingaliro omwe mumadzaza nawo ndi mkwiyo, ukali, chidani, "akutero Dines. "Zithunzi zolaula, zodabwitsa, zimakhala zosangalatsa komanso zowopsya kotero kuti mupitirize kubweretsa chinachake chatsopano komanso chosangalatsa."

4. Kufufuza mozama za ziwalo za thupi zomwe tinkaganiza kuti zinali zabwino kwambiri zaka khumi zapitazo.

Azimayi nthawi zonse amamva kuti sangateteze matupi awo. Koma akazi achichepere + amaonera zolaula = alandiridwa ku thupi dysmorphia (anthu: aliyense). "Mkazi wanga samayang'ana ngati vaginas mu zolaula. Mimba yanga sinali yophweka ngati yawo, ndipo mawere anga sanali aakulu. Ndili wamng'ono, zinandichititsa kumva kuti ndine wotetezeka kwambiri ndi thupi langa, ngati panali chinachake cholakwika ndi ine, "anatero Alaska.

Anastacia tsopano akusangalala ndi thupi lake ndi maonekedwe ake owonetsa zolaula, koma poyamba ankaopsezedwa ndi zizolowezi za chibwenzi chake ali wamng'ono. "Ndinaganiza kuti 'Anthu awa samawoneka ngati ine. Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti ali m'ma blondes okhala ndi ma D-D? ' Ndine brunette kotero sindinali wotetezeka kwambiri. " 

Tsopano pali mafuta onunkhira bleach vaginas athu ndi buttholes kapena_kodi gehena? -pinki 'em up. Tsitsi lapachikale sililipo kwa akazi omwe ali pansi pa 30. (Ngakhale panopa, ma pubes amaoneka kuti akubwereranso.) Ndipo pakhala pali lakuthwa kukwera mu labiaplasty, opaleshoni yosankha kuti iwonongeke ziwalo zogonana zogonana bwino. Inde, mukuwerenga kulondola.

Chifukwa, zokwawa, ziwalo zomwe zimayang'anizana ndi chiweruzo chachikulu-labia, boobs, tsitsi la pubic-ndizo mbali zambiri zomwe zimatanthauzira zokhudzana ndi kugonana kwa akazi (onaninso: a Naomi Wolf Kukongola Kwambiri). Izi zimapangitsa kuti zinthu zisawonongeke zomwe zimakhala chizindikiro chodziwika bwino cha chiukitsiro chachikazi-zimati, mdima wambiri, wotchedwa labia-angasinthidwe kuti apangidwe kukhala tinier, lighting one. Kodi izi zingakhale zotupa bwanji ndi zizindikiro zogonana zomwe timatumiza kwa wina ndi mzake?

5. Amuna omwe sakudziwa bwino shtup mkazi.

"Malo omwe anthu amayesera kuchita nanu chifukwa amawawona pa zolaula. Ugh. Amavulaza, "akutero Alaska. "Ndipo momveka bwino sizinapangidwa ndi malingaliro achikazi m'maganizo."

Koma mwinamwake sikuti ndizolakwika kwa anyamata. Zithunzi zapamwamba ndizo njira yathu yoyamba yophunzitsira kugonana.

"Mnyamata wamkulu wa 12 sakuika 'zolaula' mu Google chifukwa akufuna kuti andiwonetse ine, ndikuti, '" anatero Dines. "Iye amaganiza kuti akhoza kuona mabere kapena akazi amaliseche, ndiye kuti akulowetsedwa mu dziko lachiwawa. Kumbukirani kuti sanayambe kugonana. Pamene muli 12, ndi chinthu chokha chimene muyenera kuyesa. "

Chifukwa zolaula sichidetsa nkhaŵa pofotokoza maonekedwe a chilakolako cha akazi ndi momwe angasangalaliredi amayi ndi kuwabweretsa ku chiwopsezo chawo. Ngati owona akuyang'anitsitsa kuti aphunzire njira, iwo afika pamalo olakwika. Naomi Wolf analemba kuti: "Azimayi apangidwa kuti azisangalala, ndipo zomwe zimachitika zimachititsa kuti anthu azikhala osangalala komanso azivutika maganizo kwambiri. Vagina. "Zithunzi zolaula zokhudzana ndi kugonana-ngakhale chikhalidwe chathu chizoloŵezi chogonana, chomwe chiri chofulumira, chofuna kukwaniritsa zolinga, zowonongeka, ndipo chokhudzidwa ndi kukakamiza mwina gawo limodzi kapena ziwiri za thupi la mkazi-sikungachitire izo akazi ambiri , osati mwa njira yovuta kwambiri, chifukwa zimaphatikizapo mbali yeniyeni yothetsera machitidwe a kugonana kwa khunyu. "

Robert Kandell, yemwe amagwira ntchito ndi amuna akuphunzitsa kugonana pa Chidutswa chimodzi, anafotokoza kuti, "Anyamata ali okondwa ndipo amafuna kugwirizana ndi chibwenzi koma akupeza zambiri zoipa. Chiwombankhanga ndi mphindi yaikulu kwambiri pa zolaula komanso kugonana sizomwezo. Chimake cha nyimbo yotchedwa symphony ndizoimbira zingwe zikugwedeza pamapeto, koma sizokoka zazikulu. Timaphunzitsa anyamata kusangalala ulendo wonse. "

6. Amuna ovutika ndi kugonana.

"Kugonana kwa zolaula kumapangitsa kuti ndizichita zinthu zosiyanasiyana," anatero wodwalayo Don Shewey. "Anyamata omwe amayesa kufotokoza zochitika zolaula kwambiri zomwe zimachitika mwatsatanetsatane ndipo amapeza kuti sizosangalatsa, ndipo amaganiza kuti ndizo vuto lawo; anyamata omwe amaganiza kuti ndi ntchito yawo kuti azichita monga nyenyezi zolaula (kuvutikira, kuthamanga ngati jackhammer, ndi kuthamanga mwachangu nthawi zonse), kapena kuganiza kuti abwenzi awo amayembekezera kuti achite zimenezo, motero kukhala ndi nkhawa zolepheretsa kuti zimapangitsa kukhala kosatheka kugwira ntchito zogonana; anyamata omwe amazoloŵera kuwona zolaula zomwe zimawavuta kuti zitheke kumapeto kwa kukhalapo kwa wina ndi anyamata omwe alibe zochitika zenizeni pa kugonana omwe amawopa ngakhale kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa amaganiza kuti wina aliyense ayembekezere kuti akhale okonzeka kuchita chilichonse chogonana. "

Palibe amene akutsutsana pano kuti zolaula ziyenera kuchoka. Ambiri mwa akatswiri omwe ndinalankhula nawo adanena kuti zolaula zili ndi malo abwino mu ubale wabwino. Zingakhale zothandiza kuti munthu asagwirizane ndi matenda opatsirana pogonana, kukongoza ngongole kumacheza, kutsegula malingaliro a anthu kuti apange zosiyanasiyana, kulola maanja kukambirana momasuka za zomwe zimawotchera, kapena kungopereka njira yabwino yopita kuchipatala. "Moyo wanga watanganidwa kwambiri pakalipano, ndikungofuna kupeza chinachake chimene chimandichititsa chidwi ndikuchichita. Mphindi zingapo ndipo ndine wabwino, "anatero Stevie wazaka 27.

Zithunzi zolaula zimatha kukhala zosangalatsa kwambiri, zosangalatsa zosiyanasiyana, ndipo ambirife timazigwiritsa ntchito ndikuzikonda. Ndipo ... kwa enafe, lakhala gawo lachitatu muubwenzi wathu, zomwe zimapangitsa ambiri a ife kukhala osalumikizidwa, osakhudzidwa, okonda machitidwe. Kodi ndife okonzeka kukhala pachiwopsezo chokhala oseketsa maliseche, okokedwa ndi dopamine, kusiyanasiyana kosatha, ndikulimbikitsanso kowonjezeka, osatha kuthana ndi zokonda zonyenga, zosangalatsa kwambiri zogonana zenizeni padziko lapansi?

Moylan yemwe akufotokoza mwamphamvu za kuyesayesa kwake kwa (kwa kanthaŵi) kuchoka ku zolaula Kodi Mungatani Kuti Muzisiya Zolaula Ndiponso Musamawononge Moyo Wanu? amalemba mwachidule kuti: "Zolaula zimakhala zabwino ngati mukudziwa kuti zili ndi malo ake ndipo zimagwiritsidwa ntchito mopitirira malire. Ndikuganiza kuti zikhoza kuchititsa kuti anthu asamangokhalira kuchita zinthu mwachisawawa komanso kuti azikhala ndi makhalidwe abwino, koma palibe chimene chimandipatsa boner mofulumira. "

Nkhani yoyamba: http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/02/26/has-porn-ruined-our-sex-lives-forever