- Dr Harry Fisch ndi katswiri wa khalidwe la chiwerewere ndi dokotala wa TV
- Bukhu lake, The New Naked, likuwulula chifukwa chake moyo wa kugonana ukuvutika
- Chifukwa chachikulu ndikutaya nthawi yambiri yowonera zolaula
- Kugonana kwauchiwerewere kumakhala vuto lalikulu kwambiri
Tsopano zolaula zili m'gulu la akatswiri a zaumoyo komanso a TV Dr Harry Fisch, yemwe ali m'buku lake laposachedwapa, The New Naked, amanena kuti kuyang'ana mochuluka kumachititsa anthu kugonana akuvutika.
Pogwiritsa ntchito njirayi, amavumbulutsira chifukwa chake zolaula ndizofanana ndi chakudya chokhazikika komanso zimalongosola zoyenera kuchita ngati mnzanu akukonda kwambiri.
'Kuonera zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche ndizofanana ndi kugonana ndi chakudya chofulumira. Ndizokhutiritsa pompopompo, ndipo zimakhala bwino nthawi ndi nthawi pamene mukulakalaka batala kapena ma nosos aku France omwe aphulika mu goop yabodza ya lalanje, koma chakudya? Iwalani za izi.
Mofanana ndi zinthu zina zomwe zili zoipa kwa ife komabe tingathe kuwona zabwino pakanthawi, zolaula zingayambe ngati zopanda phindu, kamodzi kokha.
Koma kwa anthu ambiri, zikhoza kukhala zosavuta kuti zitheke kuti zisawonongeke ndi zovuta zowononga zolaula zomwe zingakhale zovulaza ku thanzi lake, mwakuthupi komanso m'maganizo, popanda kuzidziwa.
Ichi ndi chifukwa chake zolaula ndi nambala imodzi yomwe opatsirana pogonana amachitira.
Akatswiri ambiri adakambirana za zolaula zoopsa zomwe zikuchitika m'dziko lino, koma pano ndi chinthu chimene sindinamvepo aliyense akulankhula za: Amuna ambiri omwe amawonera zolaula, amachititsa mavuto osiyanasiyana ogonana.
Inde, chinthu chomwecho choyenera kulimbikitsa ndi kuukitsa amuna (kapena akazi) kugonana akhoza kuwononga libido yawo yonse ndi ntchito.
Nanga bwanji palibe amene akukamba za zolaula? Akukambirana chifukwa chomwe mnyamata amaonera - osati zomwe zimachitikira mbolo yake akaiyang'ana.
Ndikhoza kudziwa momwe munthu amaonera zolaula atangoyamba kundiuza mosapita m'mbali za vuto lililonse la kugonana lomwe ali nalo.
Mwamuna akamangoyang'anitsitsa zolaula ndikuyamba kuonera zolaula ndi manja ake payekha kuti azitha kuseweretsa maliseche panthawi imodzimodzi (zomwe ndizo zomwe zimachitika nthawi zambiri), kukondweretsa komwe amapeza kuchokera kudziko lapansi kumapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri kuti iye awukitsidwe, khalani ataukitsidwa, ndi kukondwa kudzutsidwa ndi weniweni, mkazi wamoyo mu moyo wake.
Zosangalatsa: Zolaula zambiri zingakhalenso ndi zotsatira zoyipa pa kukwatira kwa amuna monga Dr Fisch
KODI MUNGAKHALA NDI PORN ADDICT? PEZANI IZI NDIPONSO MUDZIWIRE:
Chizoloŵezi chilichonse ndi chosiyana koma pali makhalidwe ena omwe angasonyeze kuti akugonana. Ngati muwayankha inde pa izi, zingakhale nthawi ya mtima ndi mtima.
- Kodi akufunsira kugonana ndi abambo kapena malo osadziwika?
- Kodi akuvutika ndi mavuto alionse?
- Kodi akutsutsa thupi lanu, makamaka kukula kwake?
- Kodi akukupemphani kuti mupange kusintha kulikonse kwa thupi lanu, monga kutenga Brazil wax, zomwe simukumva nazo?
- Kodi ali ndi zokonda zomwe amakonda kuwonera mobwerezabwereza?
- Kodi amakwiya ngati simukufuna kuwonana naye?
- Kodi amaletsa kugonana ngati mumamuuza kuti simukufuna kumuona?
- Kodi akufuna kuti achite zosiyana ndi zomwe adaziona, ngakhale mutakufotokozerani kuti simukufuna?
- Kodi ali ndi malo obisika kapena achinsinsi otetezedwa pa intaneti?
- Kodi adayang'anapo zithunzi zolaula pamalo osayenera (monga ndege)?
- Ali ndi akaunti ina ya foni kapena khadi la ngongole?
- Kodi adzasiya kucheza nawo chifukwa chakuti angafune kuonera zolaula?
- Kodi anzanu akukutsutsani za zolaula zomwe amaziyang'ana?
- Kodi iye amatha kuteteza kapena kuteteza pamene mumamufunsa za zolaula?
- Kodi amasankha zolaula m'malo mofuna kugonana ndi inu?
Mwa kuyankhula kwina, zolaula zomwe nthawi zambiri zimapangitsa kuti munthu azigonana zimayambitsa kugonana ndi mnzake. Ngati atangoyang'ana zolaula, ngati atakhala ndi chilakolako kokha kapena panthawi inayake, ali m'mavuto ndipo inunso muli ndi vuto.
Palinso flip side: Amankhwala ena amanyengerera amafuna kugonana nawo, kuti akwaniritse zozizwitsa zomwe "zakhala zikuwululidwa" ndi zomwe akhala akuziyang'ana.
Zolaula ndi maliseche ake zimakhala ndi zotsatira zosiyana pa zomwe amachita panthawi yogonana - zimatchedwa kutaya nthawi.
Kukhala kwake 'motalika' ndikosiyana ndi zomwe amuna ambiri amakumana nazo akamaonera zolaula zambiri — sizingakhalepo konse.
Ngakhale zikumveka ngati zingakhale chinthu chabwino, kukhala motalika kwambiri kungakhale kovuta kwa ubale monga pamene watha mofulumira kwambiri: akumva kupweteka, kukhumudwa, kapena kudyetsedwa mmwamba, ndikudabwa kuti akufuna kuti ntchitoyo ichitike. Osatchulidwa kuti kukangana nthawi zonse kungakhale kowawa patapita kanthawi.
Chokhumudwitsa kwa ine ndi chakuti anthu ambiri omwe ndimalankhula nawo sakudziwa kuti pali zovuta kwambiri kuona zolaula.
Kusakhutira: Kuwononga nthawi yochuluka ndi kompyuta kungapangitse moyo wosagonana kumbali ziwiri zonsezi
Osati poyamba. Ndine munthu woyamba kukuuzani kuti zolaula zingakhale zokondweretsa kwambiri-ndipo munthu amene amakonda kuyang'ana kamodzi pa nthawi sikuti amangoona zolaula.
Koma anthu amatha kukhala ndi chizoloŵezi choledzeretsa mosavuta ngakhale osadziwa chifukwa ndizoloŵera zovuta kuchita.
Mwamuna amatha kudziuza kuti sakuvulaza aliyense kapena 'kubera'. Atha kuyamba kuyang'ana ngati njira yokometsera moyo wake wogonana kapena chifukwa zinali zosangalatsa - koma kuwonera kumatha kukulira, chifukwa mwina ndikosavuta kuwonera zolaula 24/7.
Iye nthawizonse amakhoza kupeza chinachake choti awononge pamene iye ali ndi maganizo, ziribe kanthu komwe iye ali kapena nthawi yake, kapena.
Kodi munthu amatha bwanji kuledzera? Si zophweka koma ndizotheka. Wokondedwa wanu ayesere njira izi poyamba:
Kupititsa patsogolo: Malingana ndi Dr Fisch, kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula kungathe kugonjetsedwa ndipo miyoyo ya kugonana imabwereranso
Kunja tsopano: New Naked: Ultimate Education Education for Grown-ups ikupezeka ku Amazon
• Kutenga nthawi yomweyo-kuchokera kumagonana onse ndi maliseche, osati zolaula chabe. Munthu akamakhala osapitirira masiku angapo, amamvetsera kwambiri (ndipo amachititsa manyazi kwambiri), ndipo amatha kukhala pachimake mkati mwa nthawi yoyenera.
• Yesetsani kukonzekera zinthu zomwe zimakondweretsa nthawi yomwe nthawi zambiri amatha kuyang'ana zolaula. Ngati mutha kuyenda ulendo waufupi, ndibwino kwambiri (musangotembenukira pa TV, chifukwa nthawi zambiri zithunzi zolaula zimapezeka muzipinda zamakono ngati ndi kumene mukukhala). Kapena muzimupangira ntchito zowonjezera kuzungulira nyumbayo (monga galasi yowononga nthawi yaitali, kuyerekezera, kapena kumunda, mwachitsanzo-chinachake chomwe chiri chakuthupi ndipo chimalepheretsa pamene magetsi aliwonse akuzungulira).
• Yesetsani kupanga masewera anu awonetsero kukhala masewera ena. Mufunseni zomwe amakonda kuchita pamene akuonera zolaula, ndikutsogolereni manja anu. Mukamamukhudza kumene amakonda kudzikhudza yekha, adzalandira momwe angapezere chidwi chomwecho pamene ali ndi inu nokha. Chitani izi palimodzi-musamunamize ndikubwerera ku zolaula! -Ndipo ndikulonjezani kuti simudzasowa mphindi makumi atatu kuti muwonongeke.
• Ndikofunika kuti inu nonse muzikambirana za momwe mumakondana, ndi kuchuluka kwa momwe mumaganizira zochitika za kugonana kwanu kuti muthe kukonzanso makhalidwe a mnzanu amene munakopeka nawo. Chitani momwe munachitira mukakhala pachibwenzi -kuti ndikuona kuti zolaula sizili mbali ya equation ndiye. Mwanjira imeneyi, chikhumbo chanu chidzamangika mwachibadwa kuti mutha kusangalala ndi zosangalatsa za kugonana kwenikweni, ndikusiya kugonana kwa robot.
• Ngati izi sizigwira ntchito chifukwa chakuti mnzanuyo ali ndi chizoloŵezi chosokonezeka komanso / kapena sakufuna kukambirana nanu nkhaniyi, muyenera kufunsa thandizo la akatswiri. Fufuzani munthu wogonana wogonana ndi chizoloŵezi chogonana ndi kusagonana. Khalani okonzeka kuti mukhale osokonezeka. Ngati kuledzeretsa kunali kosavuta kukhazikitsa, sipadzakhalanso vuto lililonse.
Monga osuta fodya amafunika kupeza chinachake chochita ndi manja awo pamene asiya-kumwa khofi, kutafuna chingamu, kapena kudya (ndicho chifukwa chake anthu omwe amasuta fodya nthawi zambiri amalemera), choncho mumayenera kupeza malo abwino. Mwamwayi, muli ndi kale lomwe liri pafupi nanu usiku uliwonse.
The New Naked: The Ultimate Education Education for Grown-Ups, £ 9.05 (Sourcebooks) ili kunja tsopano ndipo likupezeka kuchokera Amazon. Onani harryfisch.com Kuti mudziwe zambiri
Werengani zambiri: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2605079/Sexpert-Dr-Harry-Fisch-reveals-porn-makes-things-bad-bedroom.html#ixzz349cHBFr0 Titsatireni: @MailOnline pa Twitter | DailyMail pa Facebook
;
