Abale ake awiri adadwala matenda osokoneza bongo kwa zaka zambiri. Atatsegulirana, zonse zidasintha. Tsopano ali pantchito yothandiza ena
Marie-Claire Chappet
Lamlungu pa 14 February 2021, The Sunday Times
Kodi mungapeze? ” sindili funso lomwe nthawi zambiri ndimafunsa anzanga achimuna. M'malo mwake, nkhaniyi sinayambe yakhalapo. Kufunsa bambo za machitidwe ake a erectile ndi ayi-ayi, taboo, wakupha zokambirana.
Chifukwa chake zinali zachilendo kudzipeza ndekha ndikuyimba pamavidiyo ndi amuna awiri okongola, achidwi, azaka chikwi, abale awo Angus Barge, 30, ndi Xander Gilbert, 31, akundiuza mopanda mantha za vuto lawo la erectile (ED). Kwa nthawi yayitali onse adavutika mwakachetechete, osadziwa kuti enawo akukumana ndi zomwezo. Nthawi iliyonse akasaka pa intaneti amakhumudwitsidwa ndikusowa chidziwitso chothandizira anyamata ngati iwowo. Iwo sankawona kuti linali vuto lokwanira lachipatala kupita kwa dokotala osati wovuta kwambiri wamaganizidwe kuti akawone wothandizira.
"Ndinali ndi zaka 27 pomwe ndinali ndi vuto koyamba," akutero a Barge. “Ndinapita kunyumba ndi mtsikana usiku wina ndipo palibe chomwe chinachitika. Ndinangoiyika kuti ndimwe, koma m'mawa mwake sizinagwire ntchito. Ndinaganiza kuti zinali zodetsa nkhawa kwambiri, koma ndinayesetsa kuti zisandivutitse. Patadutsa sabata ndidapita naye pachibwenzi ndipo zidachitika nditakhala kuti sindili bwino. Ndikungokumbukira ndinali wamantha kwambiri, osadziwa zomwe zidachitika. "
Kenako tsiku lina 2018 Barge anali paulendo wautali wagalimoto ndi msuweni wake. Nthawiyo idamveka kuti avomereze. “Sindikudziwa chifukwa chake! Inali imodzi mwanthawi zomwe mumadziwa kuti pakamwa panu mukuyenda ndipo mukudabwa kuti bwanji mukuyankhula. ” Zomwe zidatsatira ndi zomwe amachitcha "kukhala chete kwakutali kwambiri m'moyo wanga", mpaka Gilbert atayankha nati: "Inenso." Pomwe adayimitsa galimoto kumapeto kwa ulendowu, anali atagawana chilichonse chokhudza ED wawo chomwe kwa zaka zambiri samatha kukambirana. "Posakhalitsa tidazindikira kuti tikufuna kulimbikitsa anyamata ena kuti nawonso alankhulepo za izi."
Anayamba kuwerenga maphunziro. Mmodzi, wochokera ku King's College London, akuti pafupifupi theka la amuna ochepera zaka 50 adwala ED. Mitengo yawirikiza kawiri pazaka 25 zapitazi. Zifukwa za fomuyi "zovuta zogwirizana ndi zomwe zimayambitsa", atero a Peter Saddington, mlangizi wazakugonana komanso ubale ku Relate. “Kumwa mowa kwambiri, moyo wosankha, kunenepa kwambiri. Takulitsanso malo okhala, tili ndi magalimoto komanso moyo wamtendere masiku ano, ndipo masewera olimbitsa thupi ndikofunikira. Imatulutsa ma endorphin, omwe amalimbikitsa kugonana koyenera. ” ED ikukhalanso vuto kwa anyamata achichepere - 30% azidzakumana nayo asanakwanitse zaka 30 ndipo kotala atatu mwa amuna omwe akuvutika sangalandire chithandizo.
Chiwerengerochi ndi chodetsa nkhawa chifukwa vutoli limatha kukhala chopinga cholepheretsa kugonana kokha. "Ngati mukudwala matenda a ED, ndikofunikira kuti poyamba mukayezetse kuchipatala."
Pambuyo pazaka ziwiri zofufuzidwa ndi abale awo, adasiya ntchito mu Mzindawu ndipo, mchilimwe cha 2020, adakhazikitsa Mojo, tsamba la webusayiti lomwe limapereka upangiri wathunthu komanso thandizo kwa amuna omwe ali ndi ED. Pamalowa pali akatswiri opitilira 50, ochokera m'chiuno zamankhwala azachipatala komanso othandizira azakugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha mpaka akatswiri azachipatala komanso akatswiri azakudya.
"Nthawi yoyamba yomwe ndinagonana ndi msungwana yemwe ndimawona kuti amadziwa zambiri kuposa ine," akutero Gilbert. "Ndinali wachinyamata ndipo ndimaganiza, CHABWINO, ndiyenera kupanga chiwonetsero chabwino pano. Ndinamva ngati kuti akudziwa zomwe zikuchitika koma ine sindinadziwe. Ndimaganiza kuti ndiyenera 'kuchita' kenako, zosemphana ndi zomwe zidachitika ... ”
Izi zogonana zoyambirira zidayamba kukula. "Nkhaniyi idakhala nane kwa zaka zambiri zitadutsa - zaka makumi awiri," akutero. "Zapangitsa kukhala kovuta kukhala pachibwenzi komanso kuyamba zibwenzi chifukwa lingaliro limakhalapo nthawi zonse: nanga zikadzachitikanso? Umamva ngati ukuweruzidwa koyambirira kwa chibwenzi ndipo umakakamizidwa kuti uchite. ”
Gilbert amagwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "kuchita" kangapo - onse amatero. Ndizosadabwitsa. Nthawi zambiri timazindikira kuti kugonana ndi kogwirira ntchito konse kwa amuna, ngati kuti amalandila zolipiritsa zabwino ndipo akazi ndi omwe amathandiza. Ndiye gehena yopanikizika kwambiri.
Ndizovuta kupeza vuto lofanana la akazi. Lero azimayi amalankhula poyera, ndipo mopanda manyazi, za ziphuphu, ngakhale zitakhala kuti nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosowa. Lily Allen ayimba za iwo, a Phoebe Waller-Bridge alemba za iwo, zidutswa zonse za Netflix ndi odzipereka kwa iwo. ED akadalibe. "Wadzazidwa ndi mantha kuti uthenga udzafika poti sungathe kuchita," akutero a Barge, "kuti ndiwe wotsika, wofooka mwanjira inayake."
Zinatenga zaka mavuto ake atatulukira Barge kuti adziwe zomwe zimachitika kumeneko. Pophunzitsa mpikisano wapa njinga zaka zitatu zapitazo, adaphwanya mitsempha yamagazi kumaliseche kwake. M'masabata khumi ndi awiri omwe adasinthidwa, idasandulika kukhala nkhani yazachilengedwe kukhala yamaganizidwe. "Ndidali ndi vutoli pafupipafupi kwa chaka chimodzi nditavulala koyamba - kuwonongeka kwamaganizidwe kudachitika. Ngakhale mitsempha ya magazi idachira, idabzala chikayikiro m'malingaliro mwanga. ”
Kodi Barge adamuwonanso mtsikanayo? “Ere… ayi.” Amasuntha momasuka pampando wake, nthawi yoyamba pokambirana kwathu akuwoneka kuti ndiwovuta. "Ndikuganiza kuti kudzitchinjiriza kukuyambika. Mumakhala munjira yolimbana ndi ndege: mwina mukufuna kukhala ndi kutsimikizira kuti mutha kutero, kapena simufunanso kumuwonanso, chifukwa ndinu wamanyazi kwambiri, wamantha kwambiri zidzapitirizabe. ”
Ndikumva za tsiku lake losauka, makamaka chifukwa, zaka zapitazo, ndidapezeka kuti ndili m'mavuto ndi mnzake wakale. Zinandisiya ndikulingalira zomwe amayi ambiri amamva munthawiyo: kodi ndinganene chiyani padziko lapansi kuti zikhale bwino? Nthawi zambiri kuphatikiza ndi: ndi ine? "Amuna ndi akazi onse amalankhula zolakwika munthawiyo," akutero Barge. "Amuna amayesetsa kudziteteza ponena kuti sizinachitikepo. Koma mwatsoka izi zimangopangitsa azimayi kumva kuti ndiomwe alakwitsa. ”
"Timalangiza kuti 'Ndikumva ...' m'malo mongonena kuti zonse zili zoona," akutero a Gilbert. “'Ndimachita mantha' kapena 'Ndimasokonezeka', m'malo mongonena mabodza kapena kunamizira sizikukuvutitsani zikatero. Kwa amayi ndikumvetsetsa, komanso kugwiritsa ntchito ziganizo za 'Ndikumva'. 'Ndikumva kuti ndine' ndichinthu chofala mantha - koma chomwe chidzapumulidwe mukamayankhulana momasuka. ”
Mwinamwake mukuganiza kuti Barge, makamaka, akanatha kulankhula za ED. Amayi ake, Dr Amanda Barge, ndi othandizira pakugonana ndipo tsopano ali m'gulu la akatswiri omwe amathandiza amuna a Mojo. Koma ngakhale kukambirana kumeneko kudakhala kovuta. Mkhalidwe wa a Barges ndiosafanana mofanananso ndi lingaliro la sewero la Netflix kugonana Education. Muchiwonetserochi, mwana wachinyamata, Otis Milburn, ndiwopweteka kwambiri pankhani ya atsikana komanso kugonana, ndipo satha kuseweretsa maliseche, zomwe amabisa kwa amayi ake - wochita zachiwerewere - wosewera ndi Gillian Anderson.
Kukayikira kwa Barge kugwiritsa ntchito katswiri wake wamnyumba kunasintha ndi Mojo. "Ndikuganiza kuti adakwiya nditamuuza," akutero. "Anali wokondwa kwambiri ndipo ndinalimba mtima mpaka pomuuza zakukhosi." Ubale wawo ndiwotseguka masiku ano. "Ndidali ndi wogwiritsa ntchito kundiuza kuti amakonda mawu a mkazi yemwe akuchita maliseche," akutero Barge. "Amayi anga anali otani." Iye reddens. "Mukadakhala mukuwona zokongoletsa zogonana m'nyumba mwanga zikukula."
Dr Barge nayenso ndi wonyadira ndi zomwe mwana wake wazichita, makamaka chifukwa cha kulimba mtima kwake poyang'anizana ndi mutu wankhaniwu. "Tikukhala m'dziko lachilendo, pomwe vuto limodzi lofala kwambiri komanso lofala lomwe munthu amakumana nalo pakugonana ndilonso lomwe limamupangitsa kuti azisungulumwa komanso kukhala yekha," akutero. "Mojo amafunikira kwambiri."
Pamene ndikulankhula ndi akatswiri ambiri amnyumba, mitu yodziwika imatuluka. Pali kusowa kwamphamvu kwamaphunziro azakugonana m'masukulu, komanso kusowa kwazidziwitso, komanso kufalitsa kwachidziwitso, pa intaneti. M'maso mwawo mulibe vuto lalikulu pazinthu zomwe zilipo.
Mukamalemba "thandizo la erectile dysfunction" mu injini yosakira, mumapeza zotsatira zosokoneza komanso zotsutsana, zomwe zimamizidwa ndi zotsatsa za Viagra. "Zomwe ntchito [zamankhwala izi] zimapangitsa achinyamata kuti azidalira," akutero a Gilbert. “Viagra imangothandiza pakungoyenda magazi, siyifika pamizu wamavuto, yomwe nthawi zambiri imakhala yamaganizidwe. Chifukwa chake timalola ogwiritsa ntchito kunena kuti akumva kusweka chifukwa 'ngakhale Viagra sinagwire ntchito'. ” Izi zitha kukhala zoyipa kwambiri kuposa manyazi oyamba.
Umembala wazaka zonse wa Mojo ukubwezeretsani £ 4.17 pamwezi. Piritsi limodzi la Viagra limadula pafupifupi $ 5. Kwa omwe adayambitsa, kutulutsa piritsi ndi njira yosavuta yosocheretsa, ndipo yomwe amamva kuti siyofunika kudaliridwa. Kodi zitha kukhala ngati kumwa ibuprofen kuti mupweteke msana pomwe mungafune kupita kuchipatala? "Inde," akutero Barge. "Njira ya Viagra - kwa ine sikumveka bwino."
M'malo mwake tsambali limapereka magawo a upangiri wa m'modzi ndi m'modzi, makanema ophunzitsira, kusinkhasinkha mwamaganizidwe ndi CBT imayang'ana kwambiri pankhaniyi. Imaphunzitsanso machitidwe osiyanasiyana kuti achulukitse omwe amagwiritsa ntchito kupanikizika kwamaganizidwe nthawi zambiri. Mmodzi amalimbikitsa ogwiritsa ntchito kuti azolowere mbolo yawo - momwe angayikitsire izi? - kupumula kwake, potero kumachepetsa mphamvu yake yoyambitsa nkhawa kapena malingaliro olakwika.
Tsambali limaphunzitsanso masewera olimbitsa thupi a Kegel - inde, amuna, inunso muyenera kuganizira zolimbitsa pansi panu. Kwa amuna ena, komabe, kufooka m'derali kumatha kukhala ndi malingaliro komanso thupi. Ngati zomwe zimayambitsa ED ndizam'maganizo, mwina mukuvutika ndi "pakhosi la m'chiuno", momwe chithandizo chamankhwala chingalimbikitsidwe pazochita zolimbitsa thupi, zomwe pazokha zitha kukulitsa vutoli.
"Momwe munthu amamvetsetsa ndikudziyanjana ndi iwo komanso vuto lawo logonana ndichofunikira kwambiri momwe amathandizira," akufotokoza m'modzi mwa akatswiri a Mojo, katswiri wazamisala Dr Roberta Babb. “Malingaliro ali ndi ubale wapadera komanso wamphamvu ndi thupi. Zopinga zamaganizidwe ndi malingaliro zomwe zimapangitsa kuti ED azichitika zitha kuphatikizira chilichonse kuyambira kupsinjika ndi kutopa mpaka kudziona kuti ndiwe wopanda pake. ”
Mnzake wa Mojo Silva Neves, wogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso wothandizira maubale, akuti pali mitundu iwiri ya ED: yapadziko lonse lapansi (zomwe zimayambitsa zinthu monga mitsempha yamagazi ya Barge komanso mavuto ena azaumoyo) komanso mawonekedwe. "Ngati mavuto a erection ndi 'situational', kutanthauza kuti zimachitika mwazinthu zina osati ena, ndizotheka kukhala zamaganizidwe," akutero. "Nthawi zambiri amunawa amafotokoza mavuto okomoka ndi omwe amagonana nawo koma osadziseweretsa okha. Izi zikuwonetsa kuti ali ndi vuto lokhala ndi nkhawa zakugonana, kuwopa kuti sangakhale okondana ndi anzawo. ” Nkhani zapadziko lonse lapansi zikuyenera kuwonedwa ndi a GP kapena akatswiri, koma zovuta pamikhalidwe zimafunikira chithandizo chambiri, chithandizo chamaganizidwe.
Njira yothanirana ndi izi, a Neves akuwonetsa, ndikupangitsa kuti kugonana kusakhale "koyang'ana mbolo". Munthu wotsogola ayenera kukhala wophunzitsidwa bwino. "Kuphunzira kukhala wokonda zosangalatsa osati kuyang'ana kwambiri magwiridwe antchito ndichinsinsi chokomera bwino," akutero. "Amuna akuyenera kukumbukira kuti ziwalo zina zambiri za matupi awo zitha kugwiritsidwa ntchito kupatsa ndikusangalala."
Chimodzi mwazinthu zofunikira kwambiri pamalopo ndikuthekera kwake kofufuza za kutali - china chake chomwe chimapangitsa kuti chikhale chokomera mliri komanso, chofunikira, chokomera anthu. Amuna ambiri sanazolowere kukambirana zapakati pazinthu zakuthupi ndi zamaganizidwe ndi akatswiri. "Amuna samalankhula ndi adokotala chilichonse," akutero a Barge. “Ndipo sitimayankhulana kapena kuuzana nkhanza momwe akazi amachitira. Izi zimabweretsa mavuto ambiri kupitirira kuwonongeka kwa erectile. Amuna amatha kudyetsedwa kwathunthu ndi nkhani ngati iyi. Zimenezi zimawapangitsa kukhala osungulumwa. ”
Olembetsa achichepere ambiri a Mojo amatchula kuda nkhawa komwe kumachitika chifukwa cha ziyembekezo zosatheka za zolaula zomwe zimapezeka mwaulere komanso zomwe Gilbert amafotokoza kuti ndi "msika wonyamula" wa mapulogalamu azibwenzi. "Nthawi zonse mumakhala ngati mumakangana," akutero pazochitika zapaintaneti. "Ndizovuta izi kuti ukufananizidwa ndi wina."
Pali masamba atatu azolaula omwe amapezeka padziko lonse lapansi kuposa Amazon kapena Netflix. Pali maphunziro onse a Mojo omwe adadzipereka, omwe amawoneka ngati apainiya pazolumikizana pakati pa zolaula ndi ED, kuwunika ngati kudalira zolaula kumakhudza kukhudzika kwa thupi pokhudzana ndi kugonana kwenikweni.
Sarah Calvert wawona muzochita zake kuti kudalira kumeneku kumatha kufotokozera za kuchuluka kwa ED m'zaka zaposachedwa. "Pali njira ziwiri zodzutsira ubongo, thupi ndi thupi," akutero. "Kuyankha zofuna zanu zogonana makamaka kudzera muubongo - zolaula pa intaneti, mwachitsanzo - zimatha kutanthauzira kusokonekera kwa erectile mukamagonana ndi mnzanu chifukwa thupi limatha kukhala lofooka. Chidwi chathu chazakugonana chingakhale chokhazikitsidwa kuti tizichita mwanjira yomwe singatanthauzire ku kugonana kosakhala digi. ”
"Koma sindikuganiza kuti tiyenera kuwonetsa zolaula," akutero Barge. "Imangokhala vuto ngati muli ndi chibwenzi cholakwika kwenikweni." Sichomwe chimayambitsa ED, "koma zolaula zimapangitsa ziyembekezo zosayembekezereka za omwe muyenera kuchita nawo zogonana, momwe thupi lanu ndi mbolo yanu imayenera kuwonekera, muyenera kukhala nthawi yayitali bwanji - kumene - momwe mungapezere nthawi yomweyo kudzuka. ”
Ogwiritsa ntchito amatha kugawana zomwe akumana nazo pagulu lapa Mojo, ambiri aiwo koyamba. Zaka zakubadwa zimakhala kuyambira 16 mpaka 60. "Tidali ndi wogwiritsa ntchito mzaka makumi asanu yemwe adalira m'maso mwaophunzitsa chifukwa ndife anthu oyamba omwe adawafotokozera za izi," akutero Barge. "Zatha zaka 30 akuvutika mwakachetechete. Tinalinso ndi mwana wazaka 19 yemwe anali asanamangidwe zaka ziwiri chifukwa chakulephera koyipa. Apanso, tinali anthu oyamba kuwawuza ndipo tsopano, chifukwa cholankhula za izi ndikupeza thandizo, akuyambiranso. Umenewu ndiye uthenga waukulu. Ndi zamphamvu kwambiri kulankhula za izi. ”
Barge tsopano ndi mlangizi wotsimikizika yemwe amayendetsa magawo pamalowa, monga Gilbert, yemwe amasiya kuyankhulana kwathu mphindi khumi koyambirira kuti "aphunzitse gawo lokonzekera".
"Takhala ndi nthabwala komanso ndemanga zosamveka kuchokera kwa anzathu akale mu Mzindawu," akutero a Barge. "Atsikana ena akale nawonso adabwerapo kudzanena zonyansa." Zili bwanji kukhala pachibwenzi mukamakambirana pagulu zakukwaniritsidwa kwanu, ndikufunsani. Pomwe Gilbert ali paubwenzi wanthawi yayitali, Barge anali wosakwatiwa mpaka posachedwa, ndipo akadali pa mapulogalamu azibwenzi pomwe Mojo adakhazikitsa.
“Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi kuuza munthu wina kuti uli ndi kampani yopanda vuto lopunduka kunali koseketsa. Ndinasangalala nazo, ”akumwetulira. "Moona mtima, ndikuganiza atsikana ambiri amachita chidwi kuti awone ngati malonda akugwira ntchito".
- miliyoni 11.7 Amuna ku UK akuti akumana ndi vuto la erectile, ndipo 2.5 miliyoni ataya zogonana chifukwa cha izi
- 50% Amuna ochepera zaka 50 akuti adakumana ndi vuto la erectile, malinga ndi kafukufuku wa 2019
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