Ndine wokondwa kuti "sindili" zolaula. Sindikufuna kuti ibwererenso m'moyo wanga, zake zonyansa, zoyipa, ndipo sindikufuna gawo lililonse, mwamalingaliro osachepera. Mwathupi, ndikulimbanabe.Sindikuganiza kuti ndikhoza kufika pano, chinthu chachikulu chomwe chimandipangitsa kuti ndisabwererenso ndikuti ndimaopa ndikabwereranso pano, ndimagwera pansi kwambiri sindingabwererenso ku izi.
Ndidakumana ndi zolaula. Ndinayamba kuyang'ana pa kalasi ya 9th ndipo ndili ndi 22 pakadali pano, ndinali ndi zaka 21 komaliza pomwe ndimayang'ana zolaula. Mbali za moyo wanga zakula bwino, sindinasokonezeke nthawi zonse, ndimakhala bwino pang'ono pagulu, ndimadzidalira. Kupyolera mu njirayi ndakhala ndikukumana ndi zinthu zambiri. Anthu ambiri akaukira izi, amazisinthanitsa ndi zinthu zina m'moyo wawo, amatuluka kwambiri, kutsata akazi, kulimbitsa thupi, ndi zina. Sindingathe, ndili ndi zovuta zokhudzana ndi thanzi zomwe zimandikakamiza kuti ndizikhala nthawi yambiri kunyumba, nthawi yambiriyo ndimakhala kutsogolo kwa kompyuta yanga, chifukwa palibe chabwino kuchita ndipo ndimachita bwino.
Mosiyana ndi zomwe anthu ambiri amanena, moyo wanga sunakhale bwino chifukwa ndinasiya kuyang'ana zolaula, osandilakwitsa, pali zabwino zambiri, koma mavuto anga akulu omwe adandipangitsa kuti ndizichita zolaula anali kuti sindinali wotetezeka Ndinaganiza kuti palibe mtsikana amene angandikonde (kapena anyamata ngati bwenzi), kusungulumwa kwakukulu, komanso kukhumudwa / kukhumudwa chifukwa chazovuta zanga (zomwe palibe dokotala yemwe angawoneke, ndakhala paliponse, osachepera ndimayang'ana wathanzi, ngakhale sindimamva, anthu ambiri sadziwa kuti thanzi langa ndi loipa bwanji).
Komabe, sindinapeze njira ina yothanirana ndi izi, zomwe zikutanthauza, kunena zowona, zinthu ndizovuta kwa ine, ndipo kuyendetsa kupita kukawona zolaula ndikotali kwambiri, ndili bwino polankhula ndi atsikana koma ndilibe mwayi wokumana ndi azimayi ambiri popeza ndimakhala kunyumba kwambiri, ndimaphunzira pa intaneti, ndiye sindikuwona anthu ambiri. Ndimalankhula kwambiri ndi anthu pa intaneti kuposa pamasom'pamaso. Koma tsoka lokwanira ndi ine, mfundo ndiyakuti, mavutowa sanatheretu ndi zolaula, koma, zolaula ndimomwe ndimagwiritsa ntchito kuti ndizibise, chifukwa chake zolaula zikamachotsedwa, onse amawoneka kuti akukula, chifukwa sindinakhalepo pochita nawo, sindinebe wochenjera kwenikweni ndi ambiri a iwo, ndimakhalabe ndi nkhani zodzidalira, koma ndaphunzira momwe ndinganyalanyazire mawu amkati ndikuchita zilizonse, ndimaopabe kukanidwa, koma sindingatero izi zindiyimitse, ndikadali wosungulumwa, ndipo sindinapeze njira yolimbana ndi izi komabe masiku ena ndimangolira. Mfundo ndiyakuti, sichinathetse mavuto anga onse. Sindikubwereranso, chifukwa sindikufunanso kuledzera, komanso chifukwa ndine wachikhristu ndipo ndimaganiza kuti zolaula ndizolakwika, ngakhale zoyipa. Koma izi zimandisiya pang'ono, ndipo patatha masiku 90, ndimakhala ngati "chabwino, ndiye kuti ubongo wanga wabwezeretsedwanso, tsopano".
Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe ndazindikira, ndikuti zokhumba zanga zokhudza mkazi zasintha kwambiri. Mtundu wa mkazi yemwe ndimakopeka ndi wosiyana kwambiri. Pomwe kale sindinakopeke ndi akazi achichepere azaka zonse, tsopano, azimayi ambiri "otentha" omwe sindimakopeka nawo, komwe atsikana okongola omwe anyamata ena samawayang'ana kawiri konse wokongola kwa ine. Zolakalaka zanga KWA akazi zasintha, M'mbuyomu, chilakolako chokhala ndi chibwenzi chinali choyambirira, ngakhale sindimagonana ndisanakwatirane, ndimafunabe wina woti azicheza naye, kapena kumpsompsona. Tsopano zokhumba izi zilipobe, koma ndikulakalaka kwambiri kukhala ndi mnzake, ndipo kunena zowona, ndikufuna kukonda koposa momwe ndikufunira kukondedwa, sichikhumbo chodzikonda chokha, chifukwa ndikufuna kupangitsa mkazi wina kumva ngati ndalama miliyoni. Zolakalaka zanga zakugonana ndizosiyana, m'malo mokakamira kwambiri ndikawona mkazi wokongola, ali ngati onse omangidwa palimodzi tsopano, ndimakopeka kwambiri ndi umunthu wa atsikana, intrest, chikhalidwe, belifes, ect. kwa iye inenso. M'malo mokhala ndi nkhawa zonse, tsopano zonse zimayenda limodzi. Ndizovuta kufotokoza.
Sindikutsimikiza kuti chotsatira chani kwa ine, ndipo ndikudziwa kuti tsogolo lipitilizabe kukhala ndewu, masiku ena, Ndizodabwitsa kuti sindimayang'ana zinthuzo, koma sinditero.
Njira yokhayo yomwe ndinakwanitsira kuchita izi, inali kusiya kunyada kwanga, ndikuyika pulogalamu yotchedwa "Covenant eyes" pakompyuta yanga, kamodzi pamlungu imatumiza lipoti kwa bwenzi lokhala ndi masamba ena aliwonse, atayika kuti pamenepo, sindinayang'anenso zolaula, ndipo zinandikakamiza kuti ndikhale wodziletsa, chifukwa PALIBE chilichonse chomwe chimandiletsa kuti ndisachikoke ndikuyang'ana.
Ndikulimbanabe ndi kubala, nthawi zina zithunzi zolaula, kapena zolaula. Koma zikumbukiro zikuyamba kutha. Ndinapita masiku ena 60 osafalikira, koma masabata angapo apitawa ndakhala ndi vuto kupitilira masiku ochepa. Koma ndipitilizabe kumenya nkhondo, ndipo muyenera kutero!
LINK - Masiku 90, Lipoti.
by anewman1999
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