Uku ndikuwona kosangalatsa, ndakhala ndikuuza ena zomwezo. Ndizodabwitsa kuti chifukwa ndikukumbukira kuti ndinali ndi nkhawa zambiri, osadzidalira, osalimbikitsidwa, komanso wokhumudwa nthawi zambiri pamsinkhu umenewo, malingaliro olakwika omwe adandizunza ndi omwe adandipangitsa kuti ndisinthe.
Ndimakumbukira ndikujambula chithunzichi momwe ndimadzikakamizira kumwetulira kuti ndiwoneke ngati ndikusangalala ndi bwenzi langa ndi amayi ake (ndawatulutsa). Lero ndili ndi mphamvu zowonjezereka tsiku lonse, ndipo sindinenso ndi nkhawa monga kale. Ndimakhumudwitsidwabe nthawi ndi nthawi, koma sizimamva chimodzimodzi, zisanakhale ngati kukhumudwa kopanda chiyembekezo ndikuganiza kuti moyo wanga udali wowopsa, tsopano ndi nthawi yochepa chabe yakumverera kutopa, komanso kumva pansi, nthawi zina, zomwe ndimakhulupirira kuti si zachilendo ngati muli munthu wokhala mdziko lino lapansi. Ndili ndi chidwi chochuluka ndikuyendetsa kupita kukachita zinthu, ndikukula ndikuphunzira kuposa kale. Ndinganene kuti ndine wosangalala tsopano.
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Nthawi zonse ndikawona wina atalemba kale ndi pambuyo zithunzi za nofap ndimalimbikitsidwa kwambiri, kotero ndimaganiza kuti ndithandizanso zithunzi zanga.
Ndidakwanitsa kupatsa zomwe zimawoneka ngati kumwetulira koona, ngakhale, sizinakhalepo. Sindingathe kutsimikizira kuti ndayamba kukhazikika tsopano.
Pali mwina kusiyana kwa zaka 2 pakati pa chithunzi choyamba ndipo pomwe ndidayamba kusintha moyo wanga, mzaka ziwiri izi ndimangoganizira kwambiri za zakudya zanga ndikuchepetsa chakudya, pomwe ndidazindikira momwe zakudya zingakhudzire mphamvu zanga, ine adatenga zinthu zina monga nofap ndikusiya mowa ndi ndudu.
Ine kumanzere kunali pafupifupi 4 kapena 5 zaka zapitazo, ndimasuta ndudu, ndimamwa mowa nthawi zambiri, ndikupota mozungulira 2 tsiku lililonse, komanso kudya ngati shit. Burger King pafupifupi tsiku lililonse, ndimamwa zakumwa zoziziritsa kukhosi komanso kumamwa zilizonse zomwe ndimaganiza kuti ndizosangalatsa. Ndinkaganiza kuti ndinali wachichepere ndipo thupi langa limatha kuligwira. Ndinali ndi bwenzi panthawiyo. Ndinali wazaka za 21 kapena 22 pazithunzi izi.
Chithunzi kumanja chidatengedwa dzulo, ndili ndi zaka 26 (kuyambira Epulo) kotero kuti zaka 4 kapena 5 mwina zakula pang'ono pazowonekera zanga koma ndithandizanso kusiyana kumeneku pakusintha kwamachitidwe. Ndasiya kumwa mowa kwa zaka zopitilira 2 tsopano, sindinasute ndudu zaka zopitilira 2, ndatsuka zakudya zanga ndipo ndakhala ndikutsika kwambiri carb kwazaka pafupifupi 2.5 tsopano, koma ndadula chakudya chachangu pazaka 4 zapitazi. Ndakhala ndikulimbana ndi nofap kwa zaka zopitilira 2. Ndakhala ndikugwira ntchito mosagwirizana pazaka zapitazi za 2 (kuyesera kupanga chizolowezi).
Ndikhulupirira kuti tonse pano tikuyenera kuyamikiridwa kwambiri pakuthana ndi chikhalidwe chathu kuti tiyandikane ndi zomwe tidapatsidwa. Tonsefe timavutika tsiku lililonse kulunjika ku kuunika, tonse pano tili ndi kuthekera kochuluka pofunafuna choonadi ndi chabwino.
Ngati ndikadatha kusintha moyo wanga wamalingaliro ndikudziwanso kuti inunso mutha. Ndapanga zomwe ndakwanitsa koma sindinamalize ulendowu mwanjira iliyonse. Ndidakali mchikulire chokula ndi kuphunzira ndipo ndidzakhalapo mpaka tsiku lomwe ndimwalira. Zimatenga nthawi yayitali kuti mutembenuze zaka za 15 mukudzivutitsa nokha, koma ndi gawo lirilonse lopita ku chowonadi ndi zomwe zili zabwino mudzakhala munthu wabwino.
Panali zizindikiro zambiri zomwe zimandipangitsa kufuna kuyesa nofap, zina zazikuluzikulu ndikulephera kwanga kuchita ndi chibwenzi changa panthawiyo (yemwe ndidasiyana naye kwambiri) panali nthawi zambiri pomwe adandiuza "Sizimangokhala ngati pali chemistry, kapena chibadwa cha nyama pakati pazomwe timachita" ndipo ndimakonda kutulutsa chimbudzi asanafike kunyumba kotero sindinkafuna kugonana ndili ndimavuto, ndipo sindinatero mvetsetsani chifukwa chomwe sindinathe kudzutsidwa panthawiyo. Monga mungaganizire izi zidabweretsa mavuto ambiri pakati pathu.
Komanso ndinali ndi nkhawa kwambiri komanso ndinali ndi nkhawa kwambiri, ndinali kumangocheza ndi banja lake ndipo sindinkakonda kucheza ndi anthu pokhapokha nditakakamizidwa, kapena ndimangodikirira mpaka pakhale chete kuti bata likhala chete kuposa vuto lodana nawo, ngati mungathe kuyerekezera, zinali zopanda pake mosasamala momwe mumayang'ana. Ndinkavutikanso kwambiri ndi chifuwa cha ubongo nthawi zambiri, ndipo ngakhale ndimatha kukhala ndi mayeso olimba panthawiyo, ndimayenera kuyesetsa kwambiri kuposa momwe ndikanakhalira pano.
Nthawi zambiri ndinkatopanso, ngakhale ndimagona mokwanira. Ndiyenera kunena kuti zakudya zidakulitsa zabwino m'malo onsewa omwe ndatchula, koma nofap adazitenga zatsopano. Ndine wokondwa kuti ndili pa nofap, ndikukonzekera kumamatira ndi nofap moyo wanga wonse.
Chokhumba changa chakwera, ndipo nthawi zambiri ndimagwirizana popanda kukondoweza tsopano. China chake chomwe sichinkachitika kalelo. Ndimamva kwambiri chemistry ndi azimayi chaka chathachi kuposa momwe ndakhala ndikuchitira kwa nthawi yayitali.
Matabwa anga ammawa abwerera, china chomwe chidasowa kwakanthawi. Ndidakhala pachibwenzi ndi mtsikana kwa miyezi 8 kapena 9 yomwe idatha posachedwa (tangothetsa pafupifupi mwezi wapitawu pazifukwa zomvera, tonsefe sitinkafuna kuti zichitike koma chinali chinthu choyenera kuchita panthawiyo.) Ndipo popeza Tonsefe timadikirira mpaka ukwati kuti tichite izi, panalibe zoyembekeza zilizonse zogonana koma panali nthawi zambiri pomwe zinali zovuta kwambiri kuti musagonane naye, ndipo ndimadzutsidwa mozungulira pafupi nthawi iliyonse yomwe timacheza, zomwe sizinachitikepo ndi atsikana ena pomwe moyo wanga unali wosokonezeka
Panopa ndilibe mnzanga, nditasiyana ndi ine zaka zingapo za 2 zapitazo ndidasankha kusagonananso mpaka ukwati, kotero zidzakhala zovuta nthawi yonseyi.
LINK - Zithunzi m'mbuyomu komanso pambuyo pa nofap + zina zimasintha. (Kusintha kwa chaka cha 4-5)
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