Ndikusintha 30 m'miyezi ingapo .. ulendowu udayamba ndili ndi zaka 27. China chake chidandigwira, ngati vuto la kotala la moyo. Ndinali wonenepa kwambiri .. 230 lbs, tsopano ndili ndi 175 lbs. Ndinali wofooka, thupi linali lopweteka paliponse ndipo ndimalephera kuyenda ndikadzuka m'mawa. Anali wodzaza ndi nkhawa, mantha, kukhumudwa, mitundu yonse yamatenda amisala monga OCD, nkhupakupa / kugwedezeka, kusowa tulo, kukwiya, kusapeza bwino kwamkati, osayanjana ndi diso, ndi zina zambiri. Tsopano onse apita.
Nditakwanitsa zaka 27 nthawi yomweyo ndinasiya kutulutsa (nikotini), kusiya khofi, kusiya nyama / mkaka / mazira / zopanda pake (ndine vegan), kusiya mowa womwe ndimamwa usiku uliwonse .. Ndidagula mowa wamtengo wapatali kuchokera kumakampani opanga mozungulira komanso ndinkamwa usiku uliwonse ndimakhala ndi ma pizza 2 athunthu ochokera ku Domino ndikatha kugwira ntchito ndiye kuti ndinkangowonera zolaula ndikumagona kenako ndikumagona ndikudzuka m'mawa wotsatira onse atasokonezeka .. nthawi zambiri amayamba m'mawa ndi vape, kenako McDonalds kadzutsa ndi khofi, kenako ndimagwira zoyipa tsiku lonse, kenako idyani nkhomaliro - nthawi zambiri McDonald's, taco belu, kapena nkhuku yokazinga.
Zinali zankhanza gehena kusiya zinthu zonsezi nthawi imodzi .. koma ndidapulumuka ndipo tsopano ndili bwino. Ndimangogona maola 6 / usiku. Chitani yoga m'mawa uliwonse, kenako kalisthenics kulimbitsa thupi mutavala chovala cholemera cha 40lb (Ndine shredded).
Ndifunseni chilichonse .. za kusiya kusiya zosokoneza ndikunyadira kunena kuti ndimamvetsetsa bwino momwe ubongo umakhudzidwira. Komanso .. milingo yanga ya testosterone ili pa mulingo wa MAX .. Sindinadziwepo momwe amuna amamvera mpaka pano .. Ndimamva ngati munthu .. sindimachita mantha ndipo sindikhala ndi nkhawa .. Ndazindikira momwe ndingakhalire ndi mayeso apamwamba kwambiri zotheka. Komanso ndinaphunzira kusinkhasinkha. Pali zambiri zoti mulembe motero funsani zomwe mukufuna kudziwa.
Komanso, nditaiwalika kutchula pomwe ndinati palibe zotulukapo sizitanthauza zovuta zilizonse. Nditatha kuyambiranso masiku 30-90 popanda kutulutsa kapena kuwuma kouma zilizonse .. Ndinazindikira kuti izi sizinali zokhazikika pamoyo wonse .. mphamvu zogonana ndizochulukirapo. Chifukwa chake ndidaphunzira kusiyanitsa kutulutsa umuna ndi umaliseche. Ndikumasulidwa ndikutha mphamvu yanga yamoyo ndimatenga sabata limodzi la 1 kuti libido ibwerere ndikuyambiranso. Koma ngati mungadziwe momwe mungakhalire ndi ziwombankhanga zowuma ndikuchita usiku musanagone mumangotaya pang'ono "kuyitanitsa" koma mwanzeru mukamachita musanagone zimakupatsani mwayi woti mupezenso bwino ndikadzuka m'mawa ndimakhala ndi zovuta ndipo libido wabwerera.
Pambuyo pa sabata la 1 la zithunzi zolaula za 0 ndi 0 zimapangidwanso kumangomangirira ndipo mumakhala bwino ngati kuti mumapita masiku a 60. Kukonza kumabwerera ndipo libido ndi yapamwamba kwambiri. Koma monga momwe ndanenera poyambirira ndemanga pambuyo pa zaka 3 za izi .. Ndaphunzira kutsegula kwaukhondo kofiira usiku wisanayambe bedi kawirikawiri masiku onse a 4 ndipo mlanduwu umamangidwa mmawa.
[Palibe okwatirana nawo zaka ziwiri zoyambirira.] Koma pofika chaka cha 3 ndidachira kwathunthu ndipo ndimadzidalira kwambiri kuthekera kwanga .. Ndili ochezeka kwambiri tsopano ndipo ndili ndi zibwenzi zingapo .. ndipo ndimakhala nthawi yayitali kwambiri pabedi ndipo sindimataya umuna, malizitsani ndi chiwonetsero chouma. Ndalemera kwambiri ku tantra.
By beast_brain