Ndikukumbukira masiku omwe ndinali wachinyamata pomwe zokhumba zanga kwa atsikana zimangokhala kuwapsyopsyona, "kukwatirana" nawo, makamaka, kugonana mkamwa ndi maliseche. Ndimawona atsikana okongola ndikungofuna kukhala nawo, osafuna kuwanyazitsa pakugonana koopsa. Koma kenako ndinagwa pansi, phompho lakuya la zolaula. Zatenga pafupifupi zaka makumi awiri kuti akwere mwakhama.
Nthawi zingapo ndili wamng'ono, ndinkangoona ochepa Hustler ndi Penthouse magazini. Mwinamwake zinali panthawi izi zomwe mbewu idabzalidwa zomwe zikanamera patapita zaka. M'chaka changa choyamba ku koleji, ndinapeza bokosi la zinthu zomwe zinkakhala za munthu yemwe adakhala m'nyumba yanga. Chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe ndazipeza mmenemo chinali tepi ya XXX yolaula VHS. Vidiyo iyi pamodzi ndikugwiritsidwa ntchito kwanga kwa intaneti (inali 1998) inandipatsa njira yopanda ndekha ndi yopweteka.
Kuphatikizika kwa kukhala wazaka 21 wazaka zachilengedwe komanso kupezeka kwa zolaula za mikwingwirima yonse kunali kovulaza koopsa kwa ine, komanso kwa anyamata ambiri, kunjaku. Sipanatenge nthawi kuti 90% ya zipsinjo zanga ziziyambitsidwa ndi 10% kapena zochepa kuchokera kwa zibwenzi zanga. Monga momwe tonse tikudziwira tsopano, kuphunzitsa ubongo wanu kuyankha makamaka zolaula zakugonana ndi msampha womwe umakhala wovuta komanso wovuta kulimbana nawo.
Ngati ndimayenera kulingalira, mwina ndinali ndi zolaula za 3-4 zomwe zimayambitsa zolaula sabata iliyonse kwazaka khumi ndi zisanu ndi ziwiri (1999 - 2016). Chitani masamu.
Zachidziwikire, zikhumbo zanga zoyambirira zomwe ndidatchula pamwambapa zidasinthidwa posachedwa ndikufunidwa kozama kuchokera kuubongo wanga. Poyamba, kuwona kwa mkazi wamaliseche kapena maliseche kunali kokwanira kuti ndipange miniti. Zaka zikamapita, ndimafunikira machitidwe ena ogonana kuti afike pachimake, chifukwa chake ndidayamba kuwona azimayi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, akazi agogo, akazi onenepa, azimayi aubweya, scat, komanso okopa amuna ambiri, kugonana kumatako kuphatikizapo analingus, nkhonya, ndi ATM (zomwe zimapangitsa chiwalo chogonana chomwe ndimayeserabe kugwedeza). Monga momwe mungaganizire, palibe bwenzi langa lililonse (ndipo pambuyo pake, mkazi wanga) angandipatseko zosangalatsa zakugonana kuti ndipikisane ndi zonyansa izi.
Ndikulingalira kuti ndinali wopambana kuposa ena ambiri omwe sindinkakonda - sindinavutike ndi vuto la erectile ndipo ndinali wokopeka kwambiri ndi akazi enieni apadziko lonse ... Ndinangofuna kuwagwiritsa ntchito ndikuwachepetsa monga ndidawonera m'mavidiyo.
Chaka chatha mchaka changa cha 16th ngati zolaula (2015), ndidazindikira kuti ngakhale zolaula zinali "zoopsa" motani, sizinali zosangalatsa komanso zokhutiritsa monga zidalili kale. Pambuyo pa zikwi zambiri zolaula zomwe zimayambitsa zolaula, ndimayamba kukhumudwa - kuzinthu zonse zogonana. Zachisoni, chikhumbo changa chogonana ndi mkazi wanga chidalowanso m'zaka zaposachedwa zomwe zikuyambitsa mavuto m'banja lathu.
Pafupifupi nthawi yomwe kukhudzika kudayamba (chilimwe 2015), ndidayamba kukhala ndi zizindikilo zina za matenda amisala. Amaphatikizapo: mutu wopepuka wopepuka, masomphenya achilendo / osasunthika, komanso nkhawa zomwe nthawi zina zimadzuka ndikundigoneka usiku. Mwinanso ndinali wokhumudwa pang'ono. Ndinayamba kuwona madotolo kuphatikiza madokotala, ENTs, madokotala a maso ndi ma neurologist koma sanapeze cholakwika chilichonse ndi thupi langa. Ndinalibe vertigo kapena matenda a Manniere, maso anga anali athanzi ndipo ma MRIs amubongo wanga adabweranso oyera.
Mu Meyi 2016, kuphatikiza kuda nkhawa ndi thanzi langa, kupsinjika pantchito ndi kunyumba, komanso zochitika pamoyo wovuta kwambiri zidandipangitsa kuti ndisiye kumwa anti-depressants (sertraline ndi buspirone). Libido yanga inali itawonongeka, ndipo patatha masiku asanu ndi limodzi atatenga ma meds ndidalandira nkhani zoyipa zomwe zidandipangitsa kuti ndiwonongeke; ndi udzu womwe udagwera ngamila. Ndinagona pakama masiku atatu ndipo ndinayamba kulira ngati kamwana kangapo. Zizindikiro zanga zaumoyo tsopano zidaphatikizapo:
- Matenda aakulu achisokonezo (omwe amapezeka ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo)
- nkhawa
- kusowa tulo
- Utsi wa ubongo (kuphatikizapo zina zolakwika / zonyansa)
- Masomphenya osadziwika / osasamala
- Palibe libido
Ndinaganiza zosiya zolaula ndi caffeine (kodi ndine wosusuka kuti ndikalandire chilango kapena chiyani?). Ndidawonera zolaula pa Meyi 18, 2016. Patangopita masiku ochepa ndidachotsa zolaula zanga za 30 za "gigabyte".
Ndakhala ndikudutsa m'madera ochepa m'moyo wanga poyamba, koma sindinayambe kugwa mozama monga momwe ndakhalira ndi May. Ndikutsimikiza kuti nthawi yovuta komanso kuchotsa zolaula zandichititsa kuti ndigwedezeke.
Ndazindikira nthawi yaitali kuti zolaula zinali zoipa kwambiri, koma sindinathe kuima. Zolaula zimagwiritsira ntchito ziphuphu ndi kupotoza chidwi chathu chachibadwa ndi chidwi pa kugonana, ndipo makamaka amuna omwe amawoneka kuti ndiwotsekemera ndithudi ndi poizoni wokoma ndithu. Mafilimu amawonetsanso zoopsa zokhudzana ndi kugonana. Ndikumvera chisoni anyamata omwe lero ali ndi zolaula zomwe amaganiza kuti atsikana omwe amakumana nawo adzafuna kugonana ndi magulu, kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kugonana kwa abambo, ndi zina. Ndakhala ndikuwerenga nkhani zochepa muzaka zaposachedwa kunena kuti zolaula zimagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi kuledzeretsa ndizokukula kwa akazi, zomwe zimasokoneza.
Kuyambira June 10th ndakhala ndili pa buproprion (aka Wellbutrin). Ndinayamba kuwona katswiri wazamisala komanso wamawonekedwe amisala omwe ndidamuvomera kuti ndimamwa, ndipo moona mtima ndimamasulidwa. Mosiyana ndi "oyambiranso" ambiri kunja uko, sindilimbana nawo kapena ndimaopa kubwereranso. Ndimanyansidwa kwambiri "ndimachita" zolaula kuti nkhawa yanga yayikulu tsopano ikubwezeretsanso ubongo wanga ndi libido.
Ndimachita bwino kuposa masiku amdima mu May, koma ndikuvutikabe ndi ubongo pang'ono, kuvutika maganizo ndi nkhawa. Ndikukonzekera kupitirizabe mankhwala anga ndikuwona wodwala wanga komanso wodwalayo.
Ndinkafuna kufotokozera nkhani yanga ndikulimbikitsa ena omwe amamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo kuti asiye zolaula, komanso kuti alepheretse anthu atsopano kuti azipitirirabe. Ndikufuna kulandira yankho lililonse kapena mafunso. Zikomo powerenga.
LINK - Zaka 17 zolaula tsopano masiku 47 opanda ufulu… nkhani yanga yolemba
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