Kuyambira pafupifupi 13 wazaka 11 zaka zapitazo, ndakhala ndikujambula zolaula pafupifupi nthawi iliyonse. Pofika nthawi yomwe ndimakhala 16 kapena 17 zidayamba kuchuluka kamodzi patsiku. Sizinali zachilendo kuti ndinapitapo masiku angapo osapezekapo.
Ndinayamba kuyesetsa kupewa zolaula pafupi ndi 2017. Ndingakhale ndi zovuta pakati pa masiku pafupifupi 30 ndi 60 pano ndi apo koma ndikadakhala ndi nthawi yayitali yobwereranso pakati. Adali mayeso osiyidwa ndimiyeso, popeza sindingaganize kuti ndikubera popanda zolaula, ndikuwonera zolaula osadumpha, kapena kubwera kuchokera kokayang'ana atsikana anzanga panthawiyo.
Bwenzi langa wamkazi nthawi zonse limandithandizira. Amandilowera ndi ine kuti awone momwe zikuyendera, ndikunyadira za ine chifukwa chondigwira kapena sindinali pamtunda wabwino. Ngakhale zinali choncho, zidasokoneza ubalewo. Zolaula zidandipatsa chidwi chogonana, ndipo ndikuganiza kuti chinali chifukwa chachikulu chomwe tidagonanira chaka chatha chaubwenzi wathu. Pobwezeretsa, panali njira zomwe ndimamugwiritsa ntchito ngati chinthu chogwiritsira ntchito maliseche m'malo mochita naye ngati mnzake wothandizirana naye.
Ndimayambiranso kukongola nthawi iliyonse yomwe amakhala ali kwina kapena nthawi yayitali kwambiri yomwe sitikugonana. Pamwamba pa kudzitsitsa komwe kunabwera ndi zolaula, ndinamukwiyira ndikumukwiyira chifukwa chokana kugona ndi ine, ndipo ndinanena kuti sindiyenera kupita ku zolaula ngati angatero. Zosadziwika kwa ine panthawiyo, kumanena zinthu ngati izi sizimapangitsa mtsikana kufuna kukugonjera. Ndipo zowonadi, zolaula zanga zolaula sizimakhala ndi chochita ndi iye ndipo ndimagwiritsa ntchito ngati scapegoat. Chifukwa chake zinthu zimangokulirakulira, timakangana nthawi zonse, ndipo timakhala limodzi kotero nkhawa sizinasiye.
Chifukwa chake mu Epulo patadutsa zaka pafupifupi 3 tidayambana kwambiri, ndipo mwa njira zina zomwe ndidasinthiratu, ndidabwelera molimbika. Ndinalibe ntchito, ndilibe ndalama, mphotho yanga inali ku nyumba yanga ndipo ndinayenera kubwerera kwa makolo anga ndi mchira pakati pa miyendo yanga, ndipo popanda iye ndidataya chinthu chomaliza chomwe ndidamva kuti chidandipatsa cholinga.
Chifukwa chokha chomwe ndimaganiza kuti chingandilimbikitse chinali zolaula. Zinanditengera miyezi ingapo kuti ndizindikire, koma kugunda pansi ndi chinthu chopambana chomwe chikadandichitikira. Njira yokhayo inali itadutsa. Ndinatha kumanganso ndekha kuyambira pachibwenzi kunja kwa ubale. Chifukwa chake ndidayamba kugwira ntchito ndipo ndimakhala bwino kwambiri, ndikudya bwino (ndidapeza mapaundi a 20 chifukwa chokhala onenepa kwambiri), ndikugwiritsa ntchito nyimbo yanga yomwe ndidalibe nditatha chaka chimodzi, ndikuwononga nthawi ndi abwenzi komanso abale Ndikadakhala wotsalira kwa. Ndinapezanso ntchito yatsopano! Zachidziwikire, ndidayamba modetsa nkhawa ndipo lero ndakhala opanda PMO masiku a 90, omwe ndiutali wanga woposa zaka khumi.
Zinakhala ndi zovuta zingapo. Chosangalatsa kwambiri ndichathupi, kuyambira paubwana, sindinakhalepo ndi maloto onyowa. Ndipo masiku oyambilira a 36 mode sindinakhale nawo, koma kuyambira pamenepo ndimakhala ndi kamodzi kamodzi pa sabata. Ndipo izi zikugwirizana ndi chinthu chotsatira: Ndine wowopsa kwambiri. Monga, izi zisanachitike ndikanafuna kugonana, koma zinali zosasangalatsa, malingaliro onse, pomwe pano zimamveka ngati chikhumbo chokwanira chokwanira m'njira yomwe sindinazolowere. Ndipo ndikumva bwino kuti osayang'ana mwachangu malingaliro amenewo mwakuwona zolaula kapena kubwera, koma kungokhala m'mawuwo momwe zimamvekera popanda chifukwa chochitira izi. Sindimakhalanso ndi "zilimbikitso", chifukwa sindimayanjanitsa chisangalalo chogonana ndi kufuna kukhutira pompopompo.
Izi zisanachitike, sindinakhale ndi vuto lililonse pang'onopang'ono, koma tsopano ndimadzikayikira komanso nkhawa panjira yomwe nditha kulowa nawo m'malo omasuka kuti ndikhale woona, wowona mtima.
Ndipo mwinanso chosangalatsa kwambiri, masabata angapo apitawa ndidayamba kuchita ndi madeti koyamba kuyambira chibwenzi changa ndi mtsikana watsopano, ndipo ndi wodabwitsa.
Zimamveka ngati chimphepo chosangalatsa choti tsiku langa la 90th likhale pa Thanksgiving, ndipo ndine wothokoza kwambiri kuti ndakwanitsa. Ndipo zimamveka ngati ulendo wanga wayamba kumene.
LINK - Masiku 90!
by B1ackJack94
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