Hei anyamata !!!!!! Ndatha tsiku la 90 ndikumva kudzoza kuti ndikuuzeni anyamata ulendo wanga wonse kuti ndikhale gawo lalitali. Choyamba ndiloleni ndiuze y'all kuti ndili ndi zaka 19 zakubadwa. Ndinayamba kuwonera zolaula ndili ndi zaka 11 osadziwa kwenikweni zomwe zikuchitika. Ndidakonda ngati ndidapitiliza kuwonera, ndimachita chidwi ndi izi. Komabe, patadutsa sabata limodzi makolo anga adandilankhula ndipo adandiuza kuti akudziwa kuti ndimaonera zolaula.
Bwanji? ndili mwana adatsata zomwe ndimayang'ana pa intaneti. Adalankhula nane za izi ndikundifotokozera kuti izi ndi zabodza ... kuti "kupanga chikondi" ndikosangalatsa mukamachita ndi munthu amene mumamukonda. Kuphatikiza apo, anandiuza kuti ndinali mwana chabe komanso kuti anthu omwe amakhala patsamba lolaula anali anthu abwino. Zotsatira zake, adatseka zolaula pakompyuta yanga.
Sindingayang'anenso zolaula mpaka tsiku lina mnzanga atayamba kuziwona tili kunyumba kwake. Mukudziwa, tinali 11 ndipo mahomoni anali kungoyenda hahaha. Ndikuganiza kuti ndi mwezi womwe ndidayamba kukhala ndi moyo, ndisanakwanitse zaka 12.
Ndinkakonda tsiku lomwe ndimayesa motero ndinayamba kukula tsiku lililonse (ndili ndi 12) wopanda zolaula chifukwa zimatsekedwa pc yanga. Inde, ndimayamba kuchita mopitirira muyeso kuyambira pachiyambi. Mu Disembala chaka chomwecho, ndili mgiredi la 7th ndidazindikira kuti zolaula sizinathenso kutsekedwa pakompyuta yanga ndipo ndidayambiranso kuziwonanso. Chimenecho ndiye chiyambi cha zonse. Ndili ndi zaka 12yrs. Ndinayamba kugwiritsa ntchito mokakamiza. Ndimakumbukira ndikubwera kusukulu tsiku ndi tsiku ndikuwonetsa maliseche zolaula.
Pofika nthawi ndimaganiza kuti sizowopsa, abwenzi anga onse adaziwoneranso kotero ndimamva ngati ndichinthu "chabwinobwino" kuchita. Iyi ndi nkhani yabwino kwambiri mpaka chaka chatha. Mpaka chaka chatha ndimakhala ndikulemba zolaula tsiku lililonse (ngati sichoncho) kangapo patsiku. Ndine munthu wamasewera kwambiri ngati titaphatikiza zonse ziwiri ndimatha ndikatopa kwambiri! hahaha
Chaka chatha ndidayamba kudzifunsa mafunso ngati; ndingathe kusiya kuseweretsa maliseche komanso zolaula? Zonse mwadzidzidzi ndinazindikira kuti zingakhale zovuta kwambiri. Ndinkayang'ana zolaula tsiku ndi tsiku chifukwa ndimafuna, chinali chizolowezi ndipo ndimalimbikitsidwa. Patapita nthawi ndikuganizira ndinapeza nofap ndipo ndinadziuza kuti ndiyesa. Izi zinali mu Epulo 2017.
Ndiloleni ndifotokoze ndekha pofika nthawi ino: Ndakhala wokonda kucheza kwambiri komanso kucheza ndi anthu koma pofika nthawi yomwe ndidapeza zomwe ndidadzazindikira pambuyo pake kuti ndi utsi wamaubongo. Ndinkamva ngati kukumbukira kwanga kungalephere nthawi zina, ngakhale kukumbukira kwanga kuli bwino. Ngakhale ndimakhala pagulu sindinali wotetezeka ndekha ndipo sindinachite bwino kwenikweni ndi mkazi, ngakhale atandiuza kuti ndine wokongola. Ndimangokhala ozizira ndikamalankhula ndi atsikana enieni, sindingadziwe momwe ndingachitire, ngati nkhawa. Pogwira ntchito, ndimakhalabe ndi zovuta koma sizinali zovuta kwambiri ndipo zolaula zanga sizinali zofanana. Ndinayamba kukonda zinthu zomwe pakadali pano ndikuwona zosokoneza: chachikazi, lezdom… ndi zinthu zolumikizana nazo.
Chifukwa chake kumapeto kwa Epulo ndidadziuza kuti ndisiya. Haha, si bwenzi losavuta. Poyamba ndimaganiza kuti kuonera zolaula kunali kwabwino bola ngati sindinatenge umuna ndipo ndi zomwe ndinachita. Pambuyo pake ndidapeza zosintha ndipo ndipamene ndidayamba. Mzere wanga woyamba unatha masiku 3 ndipo zinali zovuta kwambiri. Ndinali ndi zofuna zambiri ndipo ndinkaona kuti sindingathe kudziletsa. Komabe, ndinalimba mtima mkati ndikuganiza kuti ndipita !! Mzere wanga wachiwiri unatha masiku 29. Zinali zolimba kuposa zolimba, kukhala ndi zolaula tsiku lililonse kwa zaka 5 ndi theka sichizoloŵezi chosiya. Kuganizira komanso zolimbikitsa kumandigunda nthawi ndi nthawi ndimakhulupirira kuti sindikhala nthawi yayitali .. Pomaliza ndinayambiranso zolaula pa intaneti tsiku la 29. Kuyambira tsiku lomwelo, china chake chinandisinthira, ndinadziwa kuti ndimenya "chilombo" ichi ankandilamulira kwambiri.
Mzere wanga wotsatira unali ngati masiku 10 ndipo udapitilirabe (masiku 10, kubwereranso, masiku 7, kubwereranso…) mpaka Julayi. Lachitatu la Julayi ndidati ndikumenyadi zenizeni ndipo ndidayamba mzere watsopano. Ndakhala masiku 55! zinthu zambiri zidachitika panthawiyi. Ndinayamba kumva bwino kwambiri, ndinali wolimba mtima ndipo ndinagonana koyamba mu Ogasiti. Pofika nthawi imeneyo ndinalibe mavuto okhalitsa. Chilimwe cha chaka chatha chinali chosangalatsa !!! Koma, kumapeto kwa Ogasiti ndidabwereranso ku Phoenix Marie ...
Ndiponso, ndinadziuza ndekha kuti ndimenya! Mukuona, panthawiyo sindinali wokhudzidwa kwambiri chifukwa ndinalibe vuto ndi zomwe ndinasankha. Kuyambira Seputembara (2017) mpaka Epulo (2018) yakhala ikuchitika mobwerezabwereza. Mwinamwake ndimapita masiku 35 osakhala ndi zolaula koma ndimayambiranso moipa ndikuyamba kumwa mowa kwambiri. Munthawi imeneyi ndidayamba kuyunivesite ndipo ndidakumana ndi msungwana wokongola yemwe pano ndi bwenzi langa. Mukudziwa, tidatenga zinthu modekha ndipo kwa miyezi yoyamba tidachita ziwonetsero, momwe ndimavutikira, koma sitinachite zogonana. Nthawi yoyamba yomwe tinayesa inali mu Januware. Ndinagonana mu Ogasiti kotero ndimadziwa momwe zinthu zimayenera kukhalira. Tinagula makondomu ndipo tinalowamo. Tangoganizirani: zosankha zanga sizinali zovuta kwambiri ndipo nditaika kondomu, mbolo yanga idangofa. Ndinali kuthawa, "chikuchitika ndi chiyani"? Nthawi yoyamba yomwe ndinagonana ndinatayikiranso ndikuyika kondomu koma izi zinachitika chifukwa sitinasangalale mokwanira, nditatha kuwonetseratu ndinatha kuzimvetsa. Nthawi iyi inali yosiyana, mbolo yanga inali yakufa basi. Zinali zovuta panthawi yamasewera koma kondomu idapha. Ndinazindikira kuti ndinali PIED. Ndidawerenga zambiri za izi ndipo ndimangodandaula kuti tsopano ndinalinso nazo.
Ngakhale ndimadziwa kuti kusintha ndikofunikira, kufunitsitsa kwanga kuwonera zolaula kunandidya ndipo ndidapitilizabe. Ndinauza gf wanga za NOFAP komanso zolaula ndipo anali womvera chisoni. Komabe, monga ndidanenera kuti sindinathe kukhala ndekha ndipo ndimabwereranso nthawi zonse. Mu Epulo adapita kukaphunzira kwa miyezi iwiri kunja ndipo ndidamuuza kuti ndimamuyendera mu June. Mwezi wa april ndinamaliza zolaula ndipo ndinadziuza kuti: zatha. Nditatha kumaliza kumvetsetsa ndinazindikira kuti sindinali ndi chidwi ndi abambo konse. Ndinali ndi malingaliro ndi zinthu zina. Apa m'pamene panasinthira moyo wanga. Kotero inu! Lero ndagwira anyamata masiku 90.
Zakhala bwanji? Kodi ndachiritsidwa? Zakhala zabwino anyamata. Ndinayendera gf yanga masiku 51-53 ndipo tinagonana kawiri. Ndinatha kuvala kondomu ndikusungunuka. Tsopano zosankha zanga ndizovuta kuposa kale lonse !! Pambuyo masiku 90 opanda Porn.
Chabwino, yakhala kuyambiranso kwachilendo chifukwa sindinakhalepo ndi zolimbikitsa. Sindikudziwa anyamata, zakhala zachilendo. Ndine munthu wokonda kwambiri zinthu zauzimu, ndimasinkhasinkha tsiku lililonse ndipo ndimasewera kwambiri. Chasintha ndi chiyani? Zinthu zambiri. Ndikumva ngati munthu wina tsopano. Ndine wathanzi, ndimadzidalira, ndimathera nthawi yanga ndikuchita zinthu zopindulitsa, ndili ndi mphamvu zambiri, ndachita bwino kwambiri ndi mkazi chaka chatha, ndili chete, ndikusangalala komanso ndikuthokoza kwambiri !!
Zomwe zidandilimbikitsa ndi kukonda gf yanga. Ndinkafuna kuti tisangalale ndipo kuphatikiza ndidadzichitira ndekha, ndimayenera kusiya. Anyamata, ngati ndingathe kutero nonse mungathe. Inenso ndakhala m'malo amdima, pakhala nthawi zovuta pomwe ndimamva ngati wopanda pake komanso wogonjetsedwa koma umayenera kupeza mphamvu mwa iwe wekha. Tapatsidwa mpata woti tikhale ndi chidziwitso chaumunthu ichi, tiyeni tipindule nacho. Tiyeni tisangalale ndi kuchuluka kwa moyo! Tiyeni tikhale achimwemwe, mutha kuthana ndi vuto ili kwa anthu abwino.
Kodi ndachiritsidwa? Mwina ayi. Ndimakhalabe ndi zolimbikitsa zochepa nthawi zina koma ndikudziwa kuti sizowona. Sindidzayang'ananso zolaula. Tsopano ndimakondwera ndi atsikana enieni, ndimamva kuti ndili wolumikizana ndi anthu. Ndikumva kuti ndine woyenera wathanzi komanso wosangalala. Tiyeni titenge anyamata!
LINK - Ingogunda masiku a 90. PIED wapita. Ulendo wanga.
by BogartJohn
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