Lero ndidakwanitsa masiku 90. Sindinasunge cholembera apa, komanso sindinagwiritse ntchito subreddit iyi popitilira ulendo wanga wamasiku 90, koma ndinapanga masiku 90 osachepera. Tsopano, sindikudziwa ngati zomwe ndikunenazi zanenedwa kale pano, ndipo sindisamala. Koma ngati mukufuna upangiri wolimba komanso malingaliro ena pa NoFap, musayang'anenso kwina. Sipadzakhalanso TLDR, chifukwa chake ngati ndinu aulesi, musavutike pakuwerenga. Chabwino apa tikupita.
Chiyambi chaching'ono
Pakadali pano ndili ndi zaka 25. Ndidazindikira NoFap koyamba ndili ku koleji zaka 4-5 zapitazo. Ndinafika masiku pafupifupi 120 ndisanabwerere. Ndinali ndi "zopambana", ndinali wolimbikitsidwa komanso zinthu zabwino zonsezi. Tsoka ilo ndidabwereranso ndikubwerera mdzenje la PMO. Kubwereranso ndi hule.
Tikuyandikira mwachangu ku Seputembala ya 2017 ndipo ndidapezeka ku Xiamen, China ndikuphunzira Chitchaina ku yunivesite pano. Ndinali nditasiya kuonera zolaula, komabe ndinali ndimaliseche. Pambuyo pake ndinayambiranso zolaula ndipo ndinataika kwakanthawi kochepa kokhutira mosangalala. Ndazindikira kuti ndiyenera kuyima, ndipo kwa nthawi ino.
Ndinadziyang'ana ndekha mwachidwi kudzera mukuzindikira, ndipo ndinazindikira kuti ngati ndikufuna kupitiliza kukhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi wina aliyense, kaya ndi waubongo kapena wogonana, njira zanga zodzionongera zogonana zimayenera kusintha.
Chifukwa chake ndidabwereranso kumizu yanga. Ndidazindikira momwe NoFap idandipangitsira kumva m'mbuyomu, komanso momwe zidathandizira maubale omwe ndinali nawo ndekha komanso omwe anali pafupi nane. Unali Ulendo wolimbana kwambiri, ndipo ndinali m'mwamba ndi pansi ndipo ndinabwereranso kambiri ndisanafike lero, koma Ulendowu unali wabwino ndipo ndaphunzira zambiri za ine ndekha komanso chikhalidwe cha kugonana . Ndikudziwa masiku ake 90 okha, koma ndikudziwa motsimikiza kuti chiwerengerochi chikungowonjezereka. Ndagonjetsa ziwanda zanga ndikuyika PMO kumbuyo kwanga.
Tsopano ndi liti pamene positi iyi imakhala yotsutsana mumafunsa? Chabwino, pompano.
Zoona Zokhudza Mphamvu Zazikulu: Zomwe Alidi…
Nditangobwera ku NoFap, ndidadabwitsidwa ndi "omwe amapambana" omwe amasiya kusiya PMO; ndipo kudzera mu Ulendo wanga woyamba, ndidawakumana nawo. Koma ndikadakhala wopanda nzeru kuti ndizingoganizirabe ndikuwatcha "opambana". Kudzera muulendo wanga wachiwiri komanso wapano, ndidazindikira kuti "zopambana" izi sizinali "mphamvu" konse. Koma anali ndi mphamvu.
Mukudziwa, malingaliro athu akaphatikizidwa ndi zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche, timangodzibera, komanso kumasula mphamvu zakugonana. Uwu ndiye mtundu wamphamvu womwe umatichotsa ife pa abulu athu kuti tikapemphe kumasulidwa kwa mphamvu imeneyo. Ndi PMO kuti kumasulidwa ndikosavuta kupeza. Pamaso zolaula, abambo mwachidziwikire amagwiritsa ntchito maliseche kuti atulutse mphamvu izi, koma nthawi zambiri timafunafuna ndikupeza mkazi weniweni kuti atithandizire kumasula mphamvu izi; ndiyo njira yachilengedwe yochitira izi.
Koma, pamene mwamuna samatha kupeza mkazi, tinafunika kuyika mphamvu ija kupita ku chinthu china. Apa ndi pomwe kudzikweza kwanu kumayamba. Mumagwiritsa ntchito mphamvuzi pophunzira chida, kulemba zolemba pa blog, kapena kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Mwinanso mumathamanga, mwina mumalemba utoto, koma mutu wamba pano ndikuti mphamvuyo imayenera kupita kwina kwake, ndipo malo ake opindulitsa kwambiri amapita bwino.
Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikuganiza kuti anthu amatcha zotsatira za NoFap "zopambana". Mphamvu zonse zomwe anali kumasula tsiku ndi tsiku zimawapangitsa kukhala oopsa. Potero amalola ubongo wawo kumasula dopamine ndikuwapatsa chinyengo chakuti akuchita china chopindulitsa, lomwe ndi buku loletsa mayankho a PMO. Ndipo popeza tsopano salinso PMO'ing, amakumana ndi zokolola zomwe adaberedwa kale. Ndi ina, koma kuthamanga kwa dopamine kosiyanasiyana komwe kumamupangitsa munthu kumverera kuti wakwanitsa, kuchita bwino, komanso kukhala wosangalala mwa iye yekha.
Momwemonso, chifukwa cha ine, ndidasintha momwe ndimaganizira za "zopambana" izi m'malo mwake, ndimaziona ngati "zachilengedwe, maluso achilengedwe" omwe amuna onse amakhala nawo. Mwachidule, kuthekera uku ndikukhumba kumaliza ntchito zovuta ndikudzipangira zonsezo ndizikhalidwe zabwino zachimuna. PMO adakubisirani inu amuna enieni; zinakupangitsani kuti musakhale mwamuna.
Ichi ndichifukwa chake anthu amafotokoza kuti azimayi amawawona kwambiri, anthu amawalemekeza kwambiri… Ndi chifukwa chakuti mukuyanjana ndi chikhalidwe chanu chachimuna monga abambo, komanso akazi ndi amuna ena ngati Amuna Achimuna. Ichi ndichifukwa chake NoFap ndi maubwino omwe amachokera amakhala osangalatsa. Ndi chifukwa ndife amuna, ndipo timayenera kumva ngati amuna. Osati ngati anyamata ofooka omwe atenga mwayi uliwonse wopeza kutulutsa mbewu zawo mumlengalenga kapena pa sock kapena chopukutira. Tsopano ndazindikira kuti kusiya mawu a "M" kumatha kudzutsa malingaliro, koma chonde, pitirizani kuwerenga izi ndi malingaliro otseguka.
Chifukwa Chomwe Masculinity Ndi Ofunika Ndi Momwe PMO Amachotsera Kwa Inu
Tsopano ndikagwiritsa ntchito mawu oti Masculinity, sindikutanthauza chithunzi cha Hollywood chomwe anthu ambiri angaganize. Sindikutanthauza zovala zonse za Danny Trejo ndi chikopa chovala chikopa, njinga yamoto ikukwera abulu oyipa omwe mumawona m'makanema. Zomwe ndikutanthauza ndikuthamangitsa kwa amuna onse kuti achite ntchito zopindulitsa, kuthandizira pagulu, ndikupeza cholinga chawo chomwe chimabweretsa chisangalalo kwa iwo eni komanso kwa anthu omwe amadzizungulira nawo. Izi ndi zomwe Zachimuna kwa ine: kufunitsitsa kudziyendetsa nokha ndi ena kudzera pagulu lanu lokhala ndi luso komanso malingaliro abwino; osayiwala komabe, modzilemekeza kwambiri.
Zomwe PMO amachita ndi malingaliro achimuna ndikuti zimabera malingaliro athu opindulitsa ndikuwakakamiza kuti azingoganizira zogonana komanso kukhutitsidwa pompopompo ndi kumasulidwa. Nonse omwe mwayenda ulendo wautali wa NoFap mukudziwa kuti chisangalalo chenicheni sichimachokera kuzinthu zokhutiritsa kwakanthawi kochepa, koma m'malo mokonzekera zolinga ndikumaliza ntchito zomwe zingakupatseni mwayi wokhalitsa. Mukakhala PMO mumakhala okhutira, koma titha kukhala okhutira kwa nthawi yayitali. Tikapitikitsa kukhutira kumeneko, timakhala okhutira, ndipo kukhutitsidwa kwakanthawi kumatha kukhala nthawi yayitali. Ndipo tikadzimva kukhala okhutira, timafalitsa kwa ena, ndipo anthu mwachibadwa adzakopeka nanu.
Dziko lonse lapansi lidamangidwa pa amuna ndi amuna achimuna. Nkhondo zidamenyedwa, maufumu adamangidwa, zopangidwa zatsopano, chikondi chidakhala, ndipo mitunduyo idapulumuka.
Koma samalani. Ndi umuna wanu womwe wangodzutsidwa kumene, chilakolako chogonana chidzakhala champhamvu. Kugonana ndikwabwino, ndipo aliyense amakukonda, koma musalole kuti kutenge malingaliro anu. Mofanana ndi zolaula, ngakhale munthu woganiza bwino amatha kugwa m'misampha yofuna kugonana nthawi zonse.
Ngati ndikadakhala ndi malingaliro kwa inu, ndikadakhala kuti mukuyang'ana pa zolinga zanu, maloto anu, ndi zokhumba zanu, ndikulola kugonana kukhala gawo lodyera zomwe zili moyo wanu. Ngati mukufuna kuchita bwino ndi amayi, chonde pitani, koma musalole kuti azimayi azikhala patsogolo pamoyo wanu. Pali mawu omwe wina ananena akuti "simudzathawa kuthamangitsa chuma, koma mudzapita kukathamangitsa zazing'ono". Sangalalani ndi moyo wanu, mukwaniritse zolinga zanu, ndikuwombera nthawi yayitali.
Chidziwitso Chakumapeto
Ndikumva kuti kutengera kwanga zachimuna kumatha kuyambitsa malingaliro achikazi komanso "umuna wachizungu". Ndikufuna kunena kuti sindikulimbana ndi zachikazi, kapena kuyesera kuthandizira mtundu uliwonse wazandale mbali zonse ziwiri pogwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "M". Chifukwa chomwe ndimabweretsera izi ndi chakuti Ulendo wanga ndi NoFap wandipangitsa kudziwa kuti umuna wanga ndi wofunika bwanji kwa ine komanso tsogolo langa ngati mwamuna wabwino pakati pa anthu, mosatengera zomwe anthu amaganiza kapena kunena za izi.
NoFap sinali njira yongosiya zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche, inali chitseko chomwe ndinatsegula chomwe chinanditsogolera panjira yomwe idatha kumapeto kwa utawaleza. Ndipo sindinapeze mphika wagolide, ndidapeza wofanizira. Ndapeza mphika wagolide womwe udandilola kusintha zizolowezi zanga, kuwongolera zofuna zanga, komanso koposa zonse ndikudzifotokozera ndekha chithunzi ndi momwe ndimagwirira ntchito ndi dziko lapansi.
Ayi, Iyo sinali mphika wa golidi; kunali kusintha kwa paradigm. Ndipo ndikusinthaku kwabwera tanthauzo latsopano kuti ndikhale moyo wanga, ndi miyezo yatsopano yoti ndizitsatiramo. Ndipo ngakhale NoFap sinali yankho pamavuto anga onse, zidandiyika munjira yoyenera kundithandiza kuti moyo wanga ukhale wabwino. Zikomo NoFap!
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