Ndakhala ndikuwerenga zolemba pabwaloli kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo zandithandiza kwambiri paulendo wanga kotero ndikufuna kunena zikomo kwa nonse.
Ndidaganiza zopanga akaunti kuti ndingonena za zomwe ndakumana nazo chifukwa ndi zomwe sindinauzepo aliyense.
Ndine mwamuna wazaka 25 ndipo ndinkakonda zolaula kwa nthawi yaitali kuyambira ndili ndi zaka 10. Ndinazindikira kuti zolaula zimandibweretsera mavuto m'moyo wanga zaka zingapo zapitazo komanso kuyambira pomwe ndimayesera kusiya. Sindimadziwa kuti zikhala zovuta chonchi ndipo ndidaphunzira zambiri za ine ndekha ndikuyesa kuthana ndi vuto langa. Pa 30th November chaka chatha chinali nthawi yotsiriza yomwe ndinayang'ana zolaula ndipo nditatha gawoli ndinagwa mu kuvutika maganizo kwakukulu komwe ndinayamba ndamva m'moyo wanga. Ndinali kugona mu zoipa zanga 2am ndipo ndinamva kuti ndadzipereka ndekha ndipo ululu umene ndinamva unali wosapiririka. Sindinagone usiku wonse. Inali nthawi yomwe ndinamva kukhumudwa, kudzipha, kudzikonda komanso chilichonse chinali mdima m'moyo wanga. Ndinazindikira kuti ndinadzipangira ndekha gehena. Panalibenso wina womuimba mlandu kupatula ine .
Ndikuganiza kuti kukumana ndi malingaliro amenewo kunali kofunikira kwa ine kuti pomalizira pake ndipange chosankha chomaliza chosiya zonse zonyansazi m'moyo wanga. Ndinaganiza kuti ngati ndidzipangira ndekha vutoli ndili ndi mphamvu zosintha. Ndipo zinali kwa ine ngati ndikufuna kupanga moyo womwe ndikufuna kukhala kapena ngati ndikufuna kudzipangira ndekha gehena. Ndinaganiza zokhala ndi moyo. Ndinaganiza zochotsa zonyansazi kamodzi kokha . Ndipo zimenezo zinandisinthiratu . Kuwona udindo wanga wamakhalidwe abwino polenga kumwamba kapena helo kunali ngati kudzutsidwa kwachipembedzo . Mwina ndimaonera zolaula ndikuchita zinthu zomwe ndikudziwa kuti ndi zolakwika kapena ndimapanga moyo kuti ndikhale ndi moyo. Chisankho chinali kwa ine ndipo ndinali wosankha pakati pa kumwamba ndi gahena. Ndinasankha kumwamba.
Patha pafupifupi miyezi iwiri ndipo ndakhala ndikupewa zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche. Ndakhala ndi nthawi m'mbuyomu pomwe sindinawone zolaula kwa nthawi yayitali koma ndidabwereranso ku chizoloŵezi changa. Nthawi ino ndikudziwa kuti ndizosiyana chifukwa chazifukwa zomwe tafotokozazi. Pomalizira pake ndimaona kuti ndine wokhoza kulamulira chizoloŵezicho osati kumwerekera kwanga pa ine .
Ubwino womwe ndikukumana nawo:
Zopindulitsa pazagulu - Zopindulitsa zambiri zomwe ndidaziwona ndizachidziwikire. Pamene ndinali wozama m'chizoloŵezi changa ndinali chipolopolo cha munthu. Kuopa chikhalidwe, mantha akazi, mantha kunena maganizo anga, kwambiri chikhalidwe nkhawa. Kuyambira pamene ndinasiya chizoloŵezi chimenechi ndinaona kusintha kwa mbali imeneyi tsiku lililonse. Tsiku lililonse ndikukumana ndi mapindu ochulukirapo. Ndine wachikoka, ndine woseka kwambiri, wodekha kwambiri m'malo ochezera, kuyankhula ndi akazi kumakhala kosavuta tsiku lililonse likadutsa . Ndine wotsimikiza komanso wodalirika pazochitika zamagulu. Pamapeto pake ndikuyamba kumverera kuti ndikugwirizana ndi zomwe ndimakonda ndikalankhula.
Sindikudziwa kwenikweni sayansi kumbuyo kwa izi. Ngati wina ali ndi kufotokoza kwasayansi ndikufuna ndikumve. Ndikungolingalira. Kuwonera zolaula ndi kuseweretsa maliseche ndi chinthu chamanyazi. Palibe amene amanyadira . Palibe amene amapita kukacheza ndi abwenzi ndi achibale kuchuluka kwa zolaula zomwe amawonera komanso kangati amaseweretsa maliseche. Tonsefe timachita manyazi ndi mchitidwewu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake timamva post nut kumveka. Ndi apamwamba athu akutiuza kuti zomwe sitiyenera kuchita izi. Sindikudziwa kwenikweni koma ndikuganiza kuti ndichifukwa chake timakhala ndi nkhawa komanso osadzidalira. Kodi tingatani kuti tikhale olimba mtima podziwa zimene tikuchita tikakhala tokha komanso kuchita manyazi kwambiri? Sitinganamizire chidaliro. Iyenera kubwera kuchokera mkati ndipo iyenera kukhala yeniyeni. Tikanyamula manyazi kwambiri kuti chidaliro sichingakhale chenicheni. Ngakhale titayesa kuchita zinthu motsimikiza timadziwa kuti tikunama, sitikhala oona mtima kwa ife eni. Sitingathe kungokhala ndi kudzidalira kwabwinoko kumakambitsirana. Ngati ndife omvetsa chisoni ndipo tikudzipereka tokha kuonera zolaula sitingangosankha kudzimva bwino ndikukhala odzidalira komanso kudzidalira. Si zenizeni. Tikasiya ndipo nthawi ikudutsa, ndipo timamva kuti tagwira chizolowezi ichi ndipamene tingayambe kudzidalira. Ndipamene manyazi akuyamba kuzimiririka. Ndimamva bwino kwambiri za ine ndekha komanso ndimadzidalira kwambiri chifukwa ndikudziwa kuti munthu yemwe amawonera zolaula chaka chatha sindinenso. Munthu ameneyo wafa. Ine sindidzadzipereka ndekha. Sindibwerera komweko m'moyo wanga.
Nkhawa ndi kupsinjika maganizo zinachotsedwa- Ndikumva bwino kwambiri kuyambira pamene ndinasiya ndi zonyansazi. Nkhawa ndi kuvutika maganizo ndi nkhani yovuta ndipo sindikufuna kunena kuti zolaula ndi maliseche anali 100% chifukwa chake . Koma ndithudi zinachita mbali yaikulu mu zimenezo.
Chilimbikitso chochulukirapo, chikhumbo komanso kuyendetsa - ndikumva kukhala wolimbikitsidwa komanso wofunitsitsa. Tonse timadziwa momwe chizolowezi cholaula chingawononge dopamine yathu ndipo timataya chilimbikitso chochuluka ndikuyendetsa kuti tikwaniritse zinthu zina m'moyo. Kuyambira pamene ndinasiya ndikumva kuti ndikubwerera. Ndinayimitsanso zinthu zina zotsika mtengo za dopamine monga kungoyang'ana pa Instagram, Facebook, Youtube, ndinasiya kudya shuga. Ndikupanga dopamine detox ndipo imandithandizadi. Ndimalimbikitsidwa kwambiri kuchita zinthu m'moyo wanga.
Ndikumva kukhudzika mozama kwambiri - ndiziwona ngati phindu ngakhale kuti si onse omwe angavomereze. Ndinati kuledzera kumeneku kunandiphunzitsa zambiri za ine ndekha. Chinthu chinanso chimene ndinazindikira chinali chakuti ndinali kugonja maganizo anga ndi chisangalalo ndi kumwerekera. Nthawi zonse ndikamva ululu uliwonse wamalingaliro ndimatha kuzimitsa ndi zolaula. Nditasiya, maganizo amenewo anabwerera mwamphamvu. Moyo ukhoza kutipweteka ndipo ndi zina zomwe zinandichitikira m'moyo ndidakumana ndi chisoni, kukhumudwa, mkwiyo, nsanje, kusweka mtima komanso zomverera sizimasangalatsa koma ndizomwe zimatanthawuza kukhala munthu. Sindingasinthe chifukwa cha dzanzi la m'maganizo lomwe ndinali kumva. Chifukwa chake zinthu zabwino zikachitika, ndimakhala wosangalala komanso wosangalala mozama kwambiri.
Ndikudziwa kuti ndangotsala masiku 55 kuti ndithane ndi vutoli koma ndikudziwa kuti sindibwereranso . Ndili ndi udindo wochotsa izi . Choncho ndikuyembekezera ulendo wamoyo wonse.
Moyo ndi wovuta komanso wovuta ndipo ukhoza kutipweteka. Koma tiyenera kuzivomereza motere osati kubisala ndi zolaula komanso zosangalatsa zotsika mtengo.
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