Chidule:
Zambiri zachitika chaka chino. Ndakhala ndi masiku ambiri ovuta nawonso. Ndalimbana ndi nkhawa, kupsinjika, chisoni, mkwiyo, kusungulumwa, kukanidwa. Zinthu zambiri. Koma ndathamangiranso mpikisano wanga woyamba wa marathon, ndapeza ntchito pantchito yanga ngakhale covid imapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta pambuyo pomaliza maphunziro, ndili moyo wabwino kwambiri.
Masabata angapo apitawo ndikhozanso kunena kuti ndili ndi bwenzi. Kwa nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga. Ndakhala ndikulakalaka izi kwamuyaya ndipo zakhala zolimbikitsa kwambiri kwa ine. Kubwezeretsanso mnzanga wamtsogolo. Tsopano ndikufuna kupitiriza kuchita izi kwa bwenzi langa. Sizikudziwika kuti zikutanthauza chiyani kwa ine kukumana naye. Sindingathe kumvetsetsa. Ndimaganiza kuti tsiku lino silingabwere. Ndimamukonda kwambiri. Tsiku lina ndinamuuza zakumwa kwanga. Ndinadziwa kuti zinali zowopsa kubweretsa. Koma adazitenga bwino ndipo kuyambira pamenepo tangoyandikana kwambiri. Zimakhala ngati loto kugawana ulendowu ndi mtsikana wabwino chonchi. Ndine wothokoza kwanthawizonse.
[Kumbuyo]
Pafupifupi chaka chapitacho, kupereka kapena kutenga masabata angapo, ndidabwerera patsamba lino. Chaka chatha popanda kukokomeza kwasintha moyo. Ndipo inde, kuchira kwanga kwakhala maziko okhawo. Ndiloleni ndifotokoze.
Kupanga nkhani yayifupi, kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kwakhala gawo la moyo wanga kuyambira ndili ndi zaka eyiti kapena zisanu ndi zinayi. Ndimakumbukira zakale kuyambira ndili mwana. Sindikudziwa momwe zidalowera m'moyo wanga, ndikadaziwonetsa kapena ndikangoziona. Chokha chomwe ndikudziwa ndikuti zidakhala chizolowezi chambiri m'moyo wanga. M'zaka zanga zaunyamata (ndili ndi zaka 26 tsopano) Ndidamva kwa nthawi yoyamba kuti zolaula ndizovulaza komanso zoyipa. Izi zinali kudzera mu tchalitchi. Ndine wachikhristu ndipo ndakulira m'makhalidwe achikhristu. Njira yokhayo yomwe ndidamvapo kale inali yachidule - ndicholakwika ndipo ndichomvetsa manyazi kuidya. Kusamvetsetsa konse kapena chidziwitso chazovuta, kapena momwe zilili. Ndidadzimva ngati wosungulumwa padziko lapansi kwazaka zingapo. Kuyesayesa kwamphamvu kuti asiye izi, kufikira abusa nthawi ndi nthawi, kuyesera "kuzipemphera izi". Ndinadzudzula zolaula komanso momwe ndimakhalira, m'malo motenga udindo wanga. Ndine munthu amene ndinachita izi kwa ine ndekha. Zithunzi nthawi zonse zimakhala zosankha. Sizinali zaka zanga zoyambirira za 20 pomwe ndidamva koyamba za zolaula ngati chinthu, komanso zomwe sayansi idachita kuubongo wanu ndi zina zotero. Ine ndiye kwa nthawi yoyamba ndinayesa koyamba kuti ndichitepo kanthu kena za izo.
Ndi mwayi wambiri ndikuganiza kuti ndili ndi mphamvu zopangira masiku 400 ndikukhulupirira pakati pa 2015-2016. Koma ndinalibe maziko enieni ndipo moyo wanga unali wosavuta nthawi imeneyo. Chaka chotsatira sichinali chophweka ndipo pamapeto pake ndinasiya maphunziro ndipo ndinayamba kuvutika maganizo. Kenaka ndinayambiranso zolaula ndipo zinakhala vuto lalikulu komanso lovulaza kale lonse. Kwa nthawi yoyamba ndidayigwiritsa ntchito kudzidzidzimutsa ndikuthawa mavuto anga. Ndikufunanso kuwonjezera kuti popeza ndinali ngati 15, kubwereranso kulikonse kwandipangitsa kudzimva kukhala wopanda pake komanso kudana ndekha. Sizinakhalepo zosangalatsa. Ndadzisunga ndekha pafupifupi zaka 10, pafupipafupi. Izi zandipangitsa kuti ndisamadzidalire, ndizidzikonda komanso zandipangitsa kufooka ndikundipangitsa kukhala wothamangitsa m'moyo nthawi zambiri. Inde, ndinakhoza kuyunivesite bwino kwambiri ndi zina zotero, koma zandichepetsa kwambiri. Koma kubwerera ku nkhaniyi.
Chifukwa chake, kugwa komaliza. Kugwa kwa 2019. Chilimwechi ndidamva bwino ndipo ndinali pachibwenzi ndi mtsikana. Zinatha osatembenukira ku china chake ndipo ndidawona kuwala koyamba kwakanthawi m'moyo wanga kuzimiririka. Mkhalidwe womwe ndimamverera ngati unali wabwino kwa ine. Kenako ndidayamba kusewera ndi PMO kwa miyezi ingapo. Mpaka kugunda pansi. Ndinkamva ngati zombie, munthu wosungulumwa woyendayenda mu imvi. Sindinamve kalikonse. Zokonda zanga sizinandisangalatse konse. Tsiku lililonse limangodutsa. Sindinasamale. Ndayamba kunenepa. Sindinafikire abale anga kapena anzanga. Chakumapeto kwa chaka chimenecho ndinali kulemba zolemba zanga za bachelor ndi mnzake wam'kalasi, ndipo zidandimvetsetsa kotero kuti ndimafunikira kuthetsa kudzizunza kumeneku. Ndinkaona ngati sindingatenge nawo gawo pantchito yathu. Ubongo wanga unali utachoka. Kenako ndinayang'ananso webusaitiyi kwa nthawi yoyamba mwina mwina chaka chimodzi. Ndinkafuna kusiya. Ndinadziwa kuti kumaliza maphunziro kukubwera chilimwe chotsatira, moyo umayambira zenizeni. Sindinathe kudziwona ndekha ndikupeza ntchito kapena kuchita chilichonse m'moyo wowopsawo.
Ndinabwerera ku NoFap. Ndinayambanso kulembanso. Kusungulumwa kwakhala kukundiyambitsa kwambiri, ndipo ndimadziwa kuti sindingathe kuchita izi pandekha. Poyamba ndinali ndi zoyesayesa zosafunikira pankhani zakuyankha mlandu. Ndalankhula ndi abwenzi, abale ndi anthu ochokera kutsambali. Ndikulingalira iwonso ndi vuto langa, koma anthu sanabwezeretse mwayi wanga wosunga ma tabu kwa ine. Ngakhale ndikudziwa kuti chofunikira kwambiri ndikufunika kuthana ndi izi, palibe amene angandichiritse. Komabe, ndikulakalaka anthu akanatengapo nthawi kale. Koma, zinali pamenepo. Nditabwerera kuno nthawi yomweyo ndinapeza zolemba za gulu loyankha. Ndikukumbukira kuti izi zidachitika nditayambiranso. Kenako ndinaganiza, bwanji osatero. Ndikofunika kuwombera, mwina angokhala ma weirdos ndipo gululo lidzafota. Monga gulu lina lililonse lomwe ndakhalamo m'mbuyomu. Ndinalowa nawo gululi. Ndipo zidasintha moyo wanga, ndipo ndakhala ndikulumikizana tsiku ndi tsiku ndi "weirdos" omwe lero ndimawatcha m'modzi mwa abwenzi anga apamtima.
Gulu lakuyankha mlandu lidandipatsa zomwe ndimafunikira. Amakumbukira, adayamika anthu omwe amafunadi kuchita izi. Kufuna kukhala chowonadi kwa iwo eni, osadzudzula wina aliyense. Popanda kukhala wochuluka. Kukhala woona mtima ndi wodzichepetsa. Zikomo anyamata ngati muwerenga izi, ndimakukondani chifukwa cha thandizo lanu lonse. Kukhala nthawi zonse. Dziwani kuti ndimakhala ndimakhala nthawi zonse kwa inu aswell. Ulendo uwu sunathe. Ngakhale ndikuyembekeza kuti zizolowezi zathu zitha, ndikukhulupirira ndi mtima wonse kuti ubale wathu sudzatha.
Gulu lidandipatsa zomwe ndimafuna. Ndidatenga masitepe ndikudziwonetsa kuti ndinali ndi masiku 100+. Chachiwiri changa chachitali kwambiri nthawi imeneyo. Ndinaphunziranso zambiri polankhula nawo. Pambuyo pamavuto ena panjira ndikubwereranso pang'ono kenako ndidapanga chisankho cholowa nawo NoFap Zoom Calls mu Marichi. Iyenso yakhala yosintha kwa ine. Chiyambireni kuti Lachitatu lililonse ndimakhala ndi anthu ena abwino, kukambirana zakumwa zosokoneza bongo ndikuthandizana.
Nthawi zambiri ndimanena zabwino zizoloŵezi, zabwino anthu ndi zabwino Kulingalira imapita kutali, ngati sichingafike ponse, kukonzanso. Ndi inu nokha amene mukudziwa zomwe zikukuthandizani. Ndipo ndine wonyadira kuti sindinataye mtima ndikalephera nthawi ino. Poyamba ndakhala ndikusiya. Tsopano ndimayesera kuchita zinthu ku 100%, pomwe ikuyenda mpikisano wothamanga kapena kuchira ku zolaula. Pamodzi ndi kuyankha ndinadziwa kuti koposa zonse ndimafunikira kukhala woona kwa ine ndekha. Simungathe kudalira anthu ena. Atha kukuthandizani, koma sangathe kupita Samwise Gamgi pa inu nthawi zonse, kukunyamulani. Muyenera kutsata zinthu m'moyo wanu. Kwa ine zinali mwachitsanzo kutaya kompyuta, kuchotsa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kwakanthawi, kukhazikitsa zolinga m'moyo, kupita kunyumba kwa makolo anga pafupipafupi, kusiya kusewera masewera ena apakanema. Zirizonse zomwe zingakhale. Ndiponso, muyenera kupeza kuyendetsa kwamkati. Chifukwa chiyani mukusowa izi? CHIFUKWA CHIYANI? Zingamveke ngati mawu achidule. Koma ndi CHIFUKWA chachikulu chokwanira, ndikudzipereka kokhazikika kuchokera mkati mwanu kumatha kubwera kutali. Palibe amene akukupangitsani kuti muchite izi, mutha kukhala momwemo mu zolaula zanu. Kubwereranso masiku angapo, "chifukwa zinali zovuta", "zolimbikitsa zinali zamphamvu", "Ndinapanikizika" kapena zilizonse. MALIZANI ZOYESETSA! Ngati ndingathe kuchita izi, inunso mutha kutero. Sindine monk wapamwamba saiyan kapena chilichonse cholemba izi. INE NDILI NGATI INU. Kusiyana kwake kungakhale kuti ndidayamba kudzidalira. Ndinayamba kusamala za ine ndekha. Ndinayamba kudzikonda ndekha chifukwa cha yemwe ndili. Ndipo koposa zonse ndidayamba kutenga umwini wa moyo wanga.
Pepani chifukwa chokhala ovuta mwina uko, koma ndizomwe zimakhaladi.
Zambiri zachitika chaka chino. Ndakhala ndi masiku ambiri ovuta nawonso. Ndalimbana ndi nkhawa, kupsinjika, chisoni, mkwiyo, kusungulumwa, kukanidwa. Zinthu zambiri. Koma ndathamangiranso mpikisano wanga woyamba wa marathon, ndapeza ntchito pantchito yanga ngakhale covid imapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta pambuyo pomaliza maphunziro, ndili moyo wabwino kwambiri. Masabata angapo apitawo ndikhozanso kunena kuti ndili ndi bwenzi. Kwa nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga. Ndakhala ndikulakalaka izi kwamuyaya ndipo zakhala zolimbikitsa kwambiri kwa ine. Kubwezeretsanso mnzanga wamtsogolo. Tsopano ndikufuna kupitiriza kuchita izi kwa bwenzi langa. Sizikudziwika kuti zikutanthauza chiyani kwa ine kukumana naye. Sindingathe kumvetsetsa. Ndimaganiza kuti tsiku lino silingabwere. Ndimamukonda kwambiri. Tsiku lina ndinamuuza zakumwa kwanga. Ndinadziwa kuti zinali zowopsa kubweretsa. Koma adazitenga bwino ndipo kuyambira pamenepo tangoyandikana kwambiri. Zimakhala ngati loto kugawana ulendowu ndi mtsikana wabwino chonchi. Ndine wothokoza kwanthawizonse.
Chifukwa chake, zonsezi sizotsatira za maulamuliro apamwamba a NoFap. Izi ndi zotsatira zake kuti ndidayamba kusamalira moyo wanga. Kubwezeretsa sikungakusinthireni matebulo, koma kumakupatsani mwayi wosintha matebulo (kumveka bwino m'mutu mwanga). Moyo udzakugundani mukachira. Muyenera kuchitapo kanthu moyenera - kuyang'anizana nawo osati kuthawa. Lekani kuthamanga ndipo m'malo mwake muyang'ane moyo mopitirira. Dzizungulirani ndi anthu abwino omwe amakuthandizani, khalani ndi mlandu komanso odzichepetsa. Limbikitsani zinthu m'moyo wanu ndikupangitsani kuti musavute. Dziwani kuti MULAMULIRA. Porn si chilombo chosagonjetseka. Nthawi zonse mumatsegula chitseko, ndipo mutha kutseka.
Musalole kuti kusuta kwanu kukutanthauzeni. Muyenera kukhala moyo wathunthu. Ndipo mutha kutero kuyambira pano. Mphindi iyi. Kudzikonda kwanu sikukugwirizana ndi vuto lanu la PMO. Ndiwodabwitsa komanso wodabwitsa zivute zitani.
Ndi inu nokha amene mungakhale ndiudindo pamoyo wanu.
Zomwe ndikudziwa ndikuti chaka chatha komanso kupita patsogolo kwanga m'malo osiyanasiyana kwasintha moyo wanga kwathunthu.
Anyamata, ndapindulanso moyo wanga - tsopano ndikufuna kuusunga.
Ndikukufunirani zabwino zonse.
LINK - Hei anyamata, ndapambananso moyo wanga - tsopano ndikufuna kuusunga. Masiku 230+.
By Chinthaka
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