Introduction
Ndikuganiza kuti ndayamba ulendo wanga wa NoFap pa Seputembara 2019, kotero ndi zaka pafupifupi 4 paulendo wa NoFap. NoFap yanditsogolera pakusintha kwakukulu kwa moyo wanga ndipo ndimaganiza kuti ndibweza china chake kwa anthu ammudzi. Makamaka ndikufuna kupereka chiyembekezo kwa iwo omwe akulimbana ndi ADHD kuti pali kuthekera kwakukulu kwa chisangalalo chomwe chikuyembekezera kupitilira PMO ndikuti mutha kuchita izi!
Ndidapeza ADHD ndili ndi zaka pafupifupi 11 ndizizindikiro zomwe zimapezeka ndisanatha msinkhu komanso PMO. Zizindikiro zanga sizinatheretu pambuyo poyambiranso komanso kusintha kwa moyo wathanzi komwe ndidachita, kotero ndikukhulupirira kuti ndili ndi ADHD yeniyeni, osati zizindikiro za ADHD zomwe zimayambitsa zolaula. Ndinayamba MO pafupi zaka 10 ndipo mwamsanga ndinatsogolera ku PMO (Ndinagwiritsa ntchito pafupifupi tsiku lililonse). Poyang'ana m'mbuyo, ndikuganiza kuti PMO inapangitsa kuti zizindikiro zanga zikhale zovuta kwambiri zomwe zinachititsa kuti ndiyambe kufufuza ndi kuzindikira. Anandiuzanso kuti ndikhoza kukhala ndi zizindikiro za autistic, koma sindikudziwabe. Ndikuganiza kuti zambiri mwazowoneka za "autistic" zitha kufotokozedwa ngati zotsatira zosalunjika kuchokera kuzizindikiro zanga za ADHD. Kunkhani:
Zaka zisanachitike ulendo wanga wa NoFap
Ndisanasinthidwe, ndinali mwana wokangalika yemwe anali wokonda kucheza ndi anthu komanso wokonda zinthu zambiri - ngakhale kuti nthawi zina ndinali wachilendo koma sindikumbukira kusamala kwambiri ndi izi poyerekeza ndi nthawi ina. Kutha msinkhu kutangoyamba kumene, ndinapeza za MO ndipo posakhalitsa pambuyo pake, P. Ndimakumbukira kuwonera P ndili ndi zaka 10 zakubadwa. Pang’ono ndi pang’ono, ndinayamba kutaya mphamvu ndipo ndinayamba kuchita mantha kwambiri ndikakhala pagulu komanso kusadzidalira. Nthawi zambiri ndimangochita chidwi ndi zinthu zomwe zimandilimbikitsa kwambiri: Masewera a kanema; kulankhula kosayenera ndi kupusa ndi mabwenzi; zinthu zosokoneza monga mafilimu oopsa, masewero a ndale ndi nkhani; PMO, MO ndikuganizira za kugonana ndi maubwenzi; kupanga, kusewera, ndi kumvetsera nyimbo. Zowonadi, ndimakonda zinthu zamba nthawi zina koma nthawi zambiri china chilichonse chinkawoneka ngati chotopetsa panthawiyo. Ndinapeza kuti sukulu yosangalatsa kwambiri kukhala pafupifupi pafupifupi. Zinthu zina zomwe ndimakonda - makamaka zomwe ndimachita bwino - ndipo zina sizinali choncho. Ndinamaliza maphunziro a kusekondale ndikupezanso ma marks apakati ndi kupita ku yunivesite mu 2014. Kumeneko ndinaphunzira Physics, Chemistry ndi Computer science. Anthu nthawi zonse ankanena kuti ndine munthu wanzeru ndipo amandipempha kuti andithandize pazinthu zomwe ndimachita bwino koma sindinathe kuyesetsa mokwanira kuti ndikhale ndi ine kapena kuyang'ana bwino kuti ndipeze ma marks apamwamba kwambiri. Ndikumva ngati ndinayesera ngakhale.
Ndinkakhala nthawi yanga yambiri ndili pasukulu pa kompyuta kapena PMOing, kusewera masewera apakanema (ndekha kenako ndi anzanga ochokera kusukulu yasekondale), kuwonera Tiyeni tisewere, kusaka pa intaneti ma memes, ndale ndi zina zodzutsa chidwi kwambiri kapena zanzeru. zinthu zolimbikitsa. Nthaŵi zambiri sindinkapita kokayenda panthaŵi yopuma pokhapokha ndikakhala ndi kagulu kakang’ono ka anzanga ndipo sitinkapita kawirikawiri kukacheza ndi anthu ena. Nthawi zina tinkatero ndipo zinkandiwawa kwambiri. Ndinaloŵa gulu loimba pasukulu yasekondale ndipo ndinakhalamo mpaka pamene ndinamaliza maphunziro anga a ku yunivesite. Ndinasiya chifukwa ndinkafuna kuika maganizo anga pa chiphunzitso changa ndi maphunziro a masters omwe akubwera, komanso chifukwa chakuti "mtsogoleri" wa gulu ankafuna kuchitapo kanthu ndikuyamba kupanga ndalama ndi gululo. Ndinkangofuna kukacheza bwino ndi anzanga choncho ndinanyamuka.
Ndinkadya zakudya zopanda thanzi komanso zakudya zenizeni zambiri, kotero kuti ndinalibe matenda opereŵera m'thupi, mwina ndinkangowonjezerapo nthawi zina koma sindinanenepe kwenikweni. Nthawi zina ndimalimbitsa thupi nditadzozedwa kapena kutengeka, koma kawirikawiri.
Nkhawa za anthu nthawi imeneyo
Nkhawa zapagulu zinalipo nthawi zonse kuyambira pomwe PMO idayamba ndipo idapita patsogolo mpaka kuwopseza komanso kuchita mantha kusukulu yasekondale. Nthawi zambiri ndinkawakwera pa basi komanso podya pagulu. Iwo adachoka ndikubwerera kamodzi pakanthawi, ngakhale ku yunivesite komanso ngakhale m'madigiri ang'onoang'ono pambuyo pakuyambiranso kwakukulu pambuyo poyambiranso bwino.
Ndinalibe chifukwa chilichonse chazizindikirozi popeza ndinalibe kupwetekedwa mtima kwakukulu monga kuzunzidwa kapena chilichonse chamalingaliro chomwe chingafotokoze. Chabwino, nkhawa za chikhalidwe cha anthu zidandipangitsa kukhala chandamale chochitiridwa nkhanza pang'ono ndi anthu osawadziwa komanso nthawi zina anzanga zomwe sizinathandize kwenikweni. Ngakhale kuchitiridwa nkhanza ndi tsankho mwina kunali kofatsa, Zinali zowawa kwambiri kwa ine. Ndinagwiritsa ntchito kunyada ndi mkwiyo kuti ndithane ndi ululuwo: Ndinkaweruza anthu omwe ankandivutitsa kwambiri kwinaku nditamanda “makhalidwe abwino” anga oti sindimavutitsa aliyense komanso kukhala munthu “wakhalidwe labwino”. Ndinkangoganizira zamitundu yosiyanasiyana, nthawi zambiri yobwezera mwankhanza. Izi mwina zinathandizira kwambiri kuti ndisanduke munthu waukali komanso wonyada kwa nthawi yayitali mkati. Sindinayambe ndakayikirapo mkwiyo wanga kapena kudzikuza kwanga. Ndinkangowatenga ngati zabwino zenizeni panthawiyo.
Ndinali ngati woikidwa pambali m'magulu ambiri ochezera a pa Intaneti ndipo ndimatha kugwirizana m'modzi-m'modzi kapena m'magulu ang'onoang'ono, zomwe zinkayenda bwino nthawi zonse. Anthu ankaganiza kuti ndine munthu wosangalatsa kucheza naye, koma ndinkavutika ndi magulu akuluakulu chifukwa ndinkakhala chete, kukhala chete kapena kuchita zinthu movutikira, komanso kuti sindingathe kukhala ndekha chifukwa cha nkhawa.
Chinthu chinanso chimene ndinalimbana nacho kwambiri chinali kuwawa kwakukulu m’maganizo chifukwa cha kukana kulikonse. Ndinkayang'ana nkhope za alendo odutsa ndipo kuchokera ku lingaliro lililonse la kudana, mantha kapena kukanidwa kwa ine (nthawi zambiri mwina ndimatanthauziridwa molakwika ndi ine) ndimamva kuwawa koopsa. Ndinkayesetsa kwambiri kuti nditsimikizire kuti izi sizingachitike: Ndikanagwira ntchito mokhazikika, kuwongolera liwiro langa loyenda ndikuyesa kupumitsa malingaliro ndi nkhope yanga. Izi zinathandiza penapake pa zochita za anthu odutsa, koma sindinathe kuzikakamiza nthawi zonse, makamaka ngati ndinali ndi maganizo oipa tsiku limenelo (zomwe zinali kawirikawiri).
Ubale woyamba
Pafupifupi 21 mwanjira ina, ndidakwanitsa kulowa muubwenzi wanga woyamba womwe unatha zaka 2. Ndinalibe vuto ndi ED kapena PE panthawiyo, nthawi zina DE. Tinasamukira limodzi ndikupeza mphaka. Zokonda zofanana, chikondi chinalipo, kugonana kochuluka kuyambira pachiyambi koma ndidakali PMOed nthawi ndi nthawi. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, kugonana kunasintha kuchoka pachikondi mpaka kungogwiritsa ntchito winayo kuti asangalale (ngakhale momwe amaonera). Ubale umakhala wovuta kwambiri nthawi zina ndikukangana komanso kukangana. Chikhulupiriro changa sichinakweze chifukwa chokhala pachibwenzi kwambiri ngakhale ndimadziona kuti ndine wokondwa nazo. Ndinkada nkhawabe ndi anthu ndipo zinafika poipa kwambiri: Ndikanafuna nthawi ina kuti nditulutse zinyalala chifukwa ndinali ndi mantha kwambiri pokumana ndi munthu panjira. Ndinali ndi ntchito zingapo kuyunivesite komanso ndinkagwira ntchito m’nyumba yosungiramo katundu kwa miyezi ingapo ya iliyonse ya ntchito zimenezo pamene ndinali kuphunzira ku yunivesite. Ndidayamba ntchito yokhudzana ndi IT pomwe ndimaphunzira ku yunivesite ndipo kuchokera kumalingaliro akunja ndikuwoneka kuti ndikuchita bwino.
Ndidapita kuchipatala chifukwa cha nkhawa ndikuyesa mankhwala a SSRI, ndipo ndinali kupeza bwino, koma sindinachire mwachangu kotero ndikuganiza kuti ubalewo udatha chifukwa cha izi. Ndinasamukira kwa makolo anga kuti ndimalize maphunziro anga.
Kupeza NoFap
M'dzinja 2019, ndidangozindikira tsiku limodzi lokha pambuyo pa gawo la PMO, kuti ndidakhala wopanda mphamvu nditamaliza gawo la PMO. Ndinayamba kuyang'ana pa izi ndipo pamapeto pake ndinapunthwa pa kanema wa "The great porn experiment" ndi Gary Wilson (RIP). Zinandipangitsa kumva bwino ndipo ndidayamba kufufuza ngati wamisala kuchokera patsamba la Ubongo Wanu Pa Zolaula ndikuwunika maumboni ochokera kumabwalo a NoFap ndi zina zambiri. Ndinkakayikira kwambiri za zinthu zambiri zomwe ndimamva m'maderawa (ndipo ndidakali pano) koma ndinayesera kuyambiranso.
Panali kafukufuku wambiri mwina pafupifupi zaka 2 kuyambira chiyambi cha ulendo wanga ndipo ndinayamba kupanga zoyesera zosiyanasiyana pa ine ndekha. Ndinaganiza zofewetsa moyo wanga momwe ndingathere kuti ndizitha kulumikizana popanda zisonkhezero zakunja kapena zinthu zina zomwe ndimachita zondisokoneza kapena kunditsogolera kumalingaliro abodza.
Kuyambiranso koyambirira, zopindulitsa ndi kupitirira
Sindikukumbukira kuti zinatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti ndiyambitsenso kuyambiranso koma ndimakumbukira kuti chinali chinthu chovuta kwambiri chomwe ndidachitapo ndipo mwina nthawi yoyipa kwambiri yomwe ndapirira m'moyo wanga (koma zinali zoyenerera). Sindikumbukira ngakhale zizindikiro zanga zonse ngakhale ndikudziwa kuti zinalipo zambiri, makamaka zamaganizo. Zomwe ndikukumbukira ndikungodzimva kukhala otsika kwambiri kwa nthawi yayitali popanda chifukwa. Tsiku lililonse linali losiyana. Mwachiwonekere ndinali ndi zilakolako zoopsa ndi izi koma ndikuganiza kusunga malingaliro anga ndi kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndizomwe zidandipangitsa kuti ndidutse. Ndidayambiranso kuyambiranso mwachizolowezi ndikudziletsa ku O pamapeto pake. Ndinali kuona wakale wanga pambuyo kutha (tinayesetsa kukhalabe mabwenzi) ndi kugonana nthawi ndi nthawi kotero ine sindinapambane kwenikweni ndi mode koyera molimba panthawiyo.
Pang'onopang'ono, ndinayamba kukumana ndi kusintha kwakukulu mwa ine ndekha: kukhala wamphamvu, wodalirika, wopandanso zilakolako zogwiritsa ntchito P. Anthu anayamba kundikonda kwambiri komanso mosiyana. Nkhawa za anthu zidachepa kwambiri koma zidatengera kuyambiranso kuti zitheretu ndikukulitsa kusachita mantha komanso "kusasamalira" zolakwa zilizonse zamagulu. Sindinagwiritse ntchito zidule zamaganizo kuti ndipeze makhalidwe amenewa. Iwo amabwera chifukwa chodziletsa, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, komanso kukhala ndi moyo wathanzi. Nthawi zonse ndikasiya kupewa P (ndi kumlingo wina O kuchokera ku M kapena kugonana), ndimayamba kutaya mapindu awa. Kusachita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumandipangitsanso kukhala wonyozeka koma sikumandikhudza monga kusadziletsa (ngakhale kusachita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumandivuta kwambiri kudziletsa). Zopindulitsa zina zinali: kupambana kwambiri pakuwongolera kwakukulu pakuwongolera chidwi, kuzindikira zambiri, kuchuluka kwa malingaliro ndi kukumbukira, kuchotsedwa kwa chifunga chaubongo (izi sizinabwerere kwenikweni), kuganiza momveka bwino, kulondola ndikulankhula ndi zina zambiri.
Nditayambiranso ndidatenga NoFap kupitilira apo ndikuyamba kuchita zoseweretsa ndikusunga zomwe zidandithandizira kupindula ndikuchita bwino kwambiri. Koma izi zikupitilira mwina kupitirira kukula kwa nkhaniyi, kotero sindifotokoza mochulukira pa izo. Mtundu waufupi wa izi: Ndinayendetsa ulendo wanga wautali kwambiri wa masiku a 223 popanda zolaula, ndinapeza chisangalalo chachikulu, kuchita bwino kwambiri kuntchito, ndinakwezedwa pantchito, ndinali ndi maubwenzi awiri a nthawi yaitali, ndipo kenako ndinasankha kusakwatira.
Mapeto ndi malingaliro ena okhudzana ndi ADHD / autistic ndi mikhalidwe yokakamiza
Ndidayang'ana buku langa kuyambira koyambirira kwa 2020 ndipo ndidazindikira kuti inali ADHD yanga, malingaliro oganiza bwino komanso kutengeka mtima komwe kunandithandiza kuti ndizitha kuyang'anira mayendedwe anga aatali pafupifupi masiku 180+: ndimathera nthawi yochuluka ndikuwerenga mwachitsanzo YourBrainOnPorn. zolemba ndi mabuku / nkhani zina zokhudzana ndi mitu ya NoFap / zosungirako, kuwerenga nkhani za anthu, kukhala okondwa komanso otanganidwa ndi chilichonse cha NoFap, kupanga malingaliro okhwima oganiza bwino momwe ubongo umagwirira ntchito ndikuwunika momwe ndimamvera momveka bwino, pafupifupi ma roboti nthawi zina. Ndinkakhala ndi makolo anga nthawi yayitali kwambiri kotero kuti zinthu zambiri zinali zokhazikika, ndipo sindinkada nkhawa ndi zinthu zakunja komanso kuganiza bwino. Pambuyo pake ndinasamuka kukakhala ndekha kwa zaka 2 ndipo ndinagwa chifukwa chodzipatula, maubwenzi komanso kudziletsa kwambiri, ndikubwerera ku njira zanga za PMO. Ndidabwerera kwa makolo anga kuti ndichire ndipo ndikusamukira kumudzi kwa nthawi yoyamba ndi anthu omwe ndikuwadziwa kuti sakhalanso odzipatula. Zinthu zikuwoneka bwino kwa ine ndipo ndili wokondwa kwambiri koma ndabwerera ku PMO pang'ono kwambiri ndipo ndili pano kuti ndibwerere. Posachedwapa ndimaganiza kuti kuthera nthawi yochuluka pano ndikuyang'ana za NoFap sikuli bwino kwa ine, ndipo ndikuganizabe kuti ndi choncho, koma ndikuganiza kuti ndiyenera kudzilola ndekha kukhala wotanganidwa monga momwe ndinkachitira poyamba, kuti ndiyambe kuyenda bwino. pitilizani moyo wanga osatengeka pang'ono.
Maubale ena awiri anthawi yayitali omwe ndidawatchula m'zaka zapitazi za 2 anali odabwitsa m'njira zambiri koma sanali NoFap yokwanira kuti ndikhale wosangalala. Komanso, ndinkakonda kutengeka maganizo ndi atsikana aja nditayamba kuwakonda ndipo sizinkakhala bwino chifukwa cha kunenepa tikamadziwana. Kukanidwa kulikonse kwa iwo kunali kowawa kwambiri, ndipo ndinasamala kuti ndisawakhumudwitse. Sindingathe kutetezedwa kumavutowa nditakwanitsa kukhala opanda orgasm kwa mwezi wa 1+ koma maubale adakumananso ndi kusamvetsetsana komwe kumachitika chifukwa cha zizindikiro zanga za ADHD. Iwo sangamvetse kusakhalako kwanga kwa chisamaliro ndi kulota uli maso monga wosasamala za iwo ndi zimene amanena ngakhale kuti ine ndimasamala za iwo kwambiri. Palibe kuchuluka kwa kulankhulana komwe kunali kokwanira kuti iwo akhulupirire pamlingo wamalingaliro.
Ndinaganiza kuti sindikufuna kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala a ADHD, choncho ndiyenera kulimbana ndi zizindikirozo moyo wanga wonse. Mwamwayi, mndandanda wanga woyamba wa masiku 180+ unandiwonetsa kuti nditha kukhala wosangalala kwambiri, wotetezeka, wogwira mtima komanso wosangalala ndikakhala wosakwatiwa komanso wozunguliridwa ndi anzanga kapena abale, ndiye ndaganiza zodzipereka ku moyo umenewo. Sindisamala za chikhalidwe cha anthu chomwe chimayambitsa zizindikiro za ADHD pamene ndikusunga ndipo ndimatha kuzisamalira bwino mukakhala osakwatira komanso osayang'ana zinthu (makamaka maubwenzi ndi kugonana). Mwina ndi mankhwala a ADHD, maubwenzi amatha kugwira ntchito bwino, koma ndikukhulupirira kuti mankhwalawa amachepetsa kupita patsogolo kwanga kwauzimu, komwe kuli kofunikira komanso kosangalatsa kwa ine kuposa kukhala pachibwenzi.
Ndikukhulupirira kuti nkhani yanga idathandiza wina. Zabwino zonse ndi ulendo wanu! Khalani omasuka kundifunsa mafunso. Ndinasiya dala zinthu zina kuti ndisadyetse kukakamizidwa kwanga ndikupanga izi kukhala zabwino kwambiri.
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