Hei nonse. Mukufuna kugawana nkhani yanga ngati wina aliyense adakumana ndi zotere ndikuyembekeza kuti zitha kupatsa wina amene amawerenga chiyembekezo.
Ndili kumapeto kwa 20s. Anayamba kuyesera ndi zolaula ngati wachinyamata. Ndikhoza kunena kuti ndili ndi zaka zabwino za 15 ndikuganiza kuti ndikufunikira dopamine yomwe zithunzi zolaula zandipatsa.
Zonsezi zinayamba chifukwa ndinali wovuta, wosungulumwa wa zaka za 12-13. Ine mwina ndimasewera masewera a pakompyuta kapena PMO kuti ndizisangalatsa. Zinali zophweka.
Ine sindimadziwa chomwe ine ndinali mkati ndiye. Kuchokera ku 13-17 Ndamasula mitundu yonse ya zolaula zomwe mungathe kuziganizira. Chirichonse. Sindinkasamala. Zokonda zanu zinali mitundu yosiyana ndi yoonda. Koma ndikumverera ngati ndimayesa zonse zomwe zinali kunja uko nthawi zonse ndikuyang'ana pamwamba. Zina mwazinthu zinali zoletsedwa, ndipo ndikudandaula ndikuyang'ana pa mlungu uliwonse. Ndimayesera kuti ndizitsuka ndikudziuza ndekha kuti ndinali mwana basi. Ndinawapeza mwadongosolo mayi anga, ndikuyesera zovala zawo, ndikuyesera zina zosaoneka bwino, zochititsa manyazi m'nthaŵi imeneyo. Ndikhoza kunena ndi chidaliro kuti izi ndizomwe zikutsika kwambiri pa moyo wanga.
Chaka cha Junior-Senior cha kusukulu ya sekondale chinali kusintha kwa ine. Sindinkadziona kuti ndine "wozizira," koma ndinayamba kuchita phwando kwambiri, ndikukakamiza atsikana kwa nthawi yoyamba, ndikudzidalira. Ngakhale izi ndinkasowa kumva kuti PMO inandipatsa ine. Ndipotu ndinapeza kuti kuyamwa panthawi yomwe kumwedzera kapena kukwera kumakhala kokondweretsa kuposa momwe zinalili zosavuta.
Ndinayamba koleji. Chimodzimodzinso. Ine ndinali ndi abwenzi, ine ndinatuluka, ine PMOd. Koma koleji ndi pamene kukoma kwanga kunayambika kwambiri. Zithunzi. Nthawi zambiri amaganiza za iwo. Ndikupita mwinamwake masabata angapo panthawi ina, koma nthawi zonse ndimabwerera ku shemales. Ndi chabe chinachake chokhudza iwo. Momwe amawonekera ngati atsikana, koma ali ndi chinsinsi ichi. Sindingathe kuzigwedeza. Koleji inatha zaka 5, ndipo mwina ndinkakhala wochepetsetsa kuchokera ku zilembo kwa miyezi yambiri ya 6 (pamene ndikukhala ndi PMOing kwa mitundu ina) mkati mwake. Ndinagula zoseŵeretsa kuti ndiyesere kuyesedwa kwa anal. Ndinawatulutsa kunja osagwiritsa ntchito ambiri chifukwa ndinkanyansidwa nazo nditatha kuzigwiritsa ntchito. Ndinayamba ubale wautali nthawi imeneyo. Iye analibe lingaliro, ndipo njira yokha yomwe ine ndikuganiza izo zakhudzira kwenikweni ubale wathu unali kugonana. Ndinkavutika kuti ndikhale ndi nthawi zambiri chifukwa ndinkakonza ubongo wanga makamaka kuti ndizichita zachiwerewere. Koma iye anali wosalakwa komanso wamkulu ndipo sanandikonde ngakhale pang'ono panthawi yomwe ankandikhumudwitsa.
Ndinamaliza maphunziro a koleji. Ndinasamukira ndi mtsikana uyu. Kwa pafupifupi chaka chimodzi ndinakhala ndi zovuta zomwezo zomwe zinandichititsa moyo wanga wonse. Sindinayambe ndagwira ntchito pa izi polipira anthu opitilira anzawo kapena kumakhala atsikana aakazi, koma sindinganene kuti sindinaganizire kapena ndikuganiza kuti ndikuchita.
Ankapita kukagona pamaso panga. Ndikanakhala pamwamba, penyani kanema pafoni yanga, PMO mu chipinda chogona ndikukwera naye pabedi. Ndikanathira madzi, MO ndi malingaliro anga onse, kenako ndimatuluka ngati palibe chomwe chinachitika. Ndikupita ulendo wamsewu ndi PMO ndikuyendetsa galimoto. Ndinagula chidole china kuti ndigwiritse ntchito kwa sabata pamene anali kunja kwa tauni (ndinataya mmodziyo pambuyo pomaliza ndikugwiritsa ntchito ndekha). Ndi momwemo ndinapitilira kuti nditsike kuti ndikonzeko ndinamva ngati ndikufunikira. Pamapeto pake ine sindinamupatse iye kugonana kwambiri chifukwa ndinali ndikukonzekera kuchoka kumene ndimakonda kuti ndipeze.
November 2018 Ndinazindikira nofap, ndipo sindinakhale wosangalala. Anthu onse omwe akulimbana ndi zofanana ndi zanga. Anali malo oyamba omwe ananditsimikizira kuti kuti ndipange chizoloŵezi changa chochita chiwerewere, ndikufunika kuwombera PMO pamodzi. Nditangopanga chisankho sindinayang'ane kumbuyo, ndipo sindikukonzekera. Ndakhala ndi malingaliro onena za kubwereranso komwe kumadzakhala maloto amadzi. Chisangalalo chimene ndimamva nditauka ndikuzindikira kuti sindinabwererenso, ndipo kuti ndilo lotolo ndikulimbikitsa kwambiri kuti ndikhale wosakwiya. Ngakhale zili choncho, chilimbikitso chachikulu ndi chibwenzi changa chomwe ndimakhala nacho, ndipo miyoyo yathu yokhudzana ndi kugonana siinakhale yabwino kuyambira pomwe ndinayamba. Sizichitika tsiku ndi tsiku, koma zimachitika kuti tonsefe tisangalale.
Ndadutsa masiku 90 osakwiya tsopano, ndipo ndikutha kuganiza kubwereranso. Icho sichiri typo. Ndikhoza kulingalira kubwereranso ku zomwe ndinkakonda kuchita, ndipo sindiwo moyo umene ndikufuna kukhala nawo. Ndatha ndi zimenezo. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti tsiku lirilonse silinakhale ndi zofuna, koma tsiku ndi tsiku zolimbikitsa zimatha pang'ono.
Tiyeni tiyambe kuchita izi, anyamata! Fukitsa zolaula, sitikusowa tcheru! Tifunika kudzikweza tokha chifukwa chokana!
Aliyense amene wabwereranso posachedwa: Ndakhalapo nthawi zambiri. Ndikuyembekeza kuti simudzakhalaponso kachiwiri. Padzakhala kubwereranso kwa ife tonse omwe tidzakhala otsiriza. Tikhoza kuchita izi!
LINK - Masiku a 90 ndi kuwerengera
by Davindey2
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