Ndili ndi zaka 35… .Ndidayamba kuseweretsa maliseche mozungulira kalasi ya 8th ngati ambiri a inu. Mwamwayi, sindinkakonda kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti yothamanga, mpaka ndinali ku koleji. Ndimati 'mwamwayi,' chifukwa mwina ndikadakhala kuti ndadadalira PMO kale kwambiri…, ndili wachinyamata ndimagwiritsa ntchito malingaliro anga kapena magazini tsiku lililonse.
Kuchokera ku koleji komanso kwa ena onse a 20, sindinathe kusiya zolaula. Ndinali ndi bwenzi labwino kusukulu yasekondale, koma sindinakhalepo ndi ubale wina kwanthawi yayitali ngati zolaula zomwe zimasokoneza malingaliro anga a "zachilendo." Ndinali ndi ma flings ndipo usiku umodzi ndimayima, zowona, koma osati ubale wathanzi chifukwa ndimawona akazi ngati zinthu zogonana. Ndinayesa nthawi zambirimbiri kuti ndisiye ndipo ndalephera momvetsa chisoni. Ndinabwereranso kwa makolo anga kwakanthawi chifukwa ndimafunikira thandizo kuti ndikwaniritse mutu wanga, koma ndinali wamanyazi kuvomereza vuto lawo kwa iwo… makamaka lomwe limakhudzana ndi kugonana.
Pafupifupi zaka 29, ndidalemba mzere mumchenga ndikuganiza zosintha. Sindinadziwe za No Fap, koma ndinali nditatopa ndi zolaula zomwe zimalamulira moyo wanga. Ndinapita patali kwambiri kotero kuti sindinathe kupeza intaneti kapena kompyuta yanga kunyumba, ndipo ndimangogwiritsa ntchito foni yayikulu panthawiyi. Njira yokhayo yomwe ndingagwiritsire ntchito kompyuta inali kuntchito kwanga komwe kulibe njira yoti ndiyimire. Ndikudziwa anali muyeso wopitilira muyeso, koma zidagwira. Pafupifupi miyezi 6 pambuyo pake, nditatha kuphwanya zolakwika, ndidagula laputopu. Ndinabwereranso kangapo, koma zinali zovuta kwambiri.
Posachedwapa, ndinaphunzira za No Fap kuchokera kwa mchimwene wanga, yemwe akulimbana ndi zolaula kwambiri kuposa ine. Adachita mikwingwirima kuti athandizire, koma wabwerera ku zizolowezi zake zakale pomwe sakuchita mwachidwi kapena ali ndi mayankho ambiri. Ndi wachichepere kuposa ine, koma zikumupangitsa iye kukalamba msanga. Ndimadana nazo kuziwona, koma ndi momwe zimawonongera zinthuzi.
Masiku ano, nditawona momwe ndapindulira popanga zovuta za 30 day No Fap ndi mchimwene wanga, ndimayesetsa kupewa kutaya umuna konse, ndipo ndasiya kuseweretsa maliseche, ngakhale opanda zolaula. Izi zandipatsa mphamvu zodabwitsa, kuyendetsa, kudzidalira, ndipo azimayi amazindikira. Tsopano zolemera zanga zikukwera kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi ndipo maso anga ali ndi utoto wowonjezera komanso kuzama. Ndikudziwa zambiri mgululi ndizokhudza zolaula, koma kuseweretsa maliseche ngakhale popanda zolaula ndichimodzi mwazinthu zoyipa kwambiri.
Ngati ndiyenera kufotokoza mwachidule zomwe ndaphunzira pazaka zapitazi polimbana ndi izi, ndi izi:
***** Chitani chilichonse chomwe chingafunike kuti musiye chizolowezichi! Chitani mikwingwirima kwamuyaya ngati muyenera kutero… Chilichonse chomwe chingafunike. PMO siyankho lanthawi yayitali. Ndinkadziuza ndekha kuti ndi cholowa m'malo mwa ubale wodzipereka. Awa ndi malingaliro opotoka. Osapanga kulakwitsa komwe ndidachita!
***** Pezani kuyankha. Musaope kulankhula za izi. Mwabwera, ndiye chiyambi chabwino. Lumikizanani ndi anyamata ena omwe akulimbana ndi kumenyera limodzi!
* Yendani mozungulira anthu. Mukamachita No Fap, mwachibadwa mumayamba kukhala ochezeka komanso kukhala ndi nkhawa zochepa. Pitilizani kulowera komweko. Musakhale nokha kwambiri.
* Pangani dzina lanu kukhala gawo la yankho. China chake chomwe chathandizidwa kwambiri ndikupanga dzina langa ngati munthu amene sachita maliseche. Izi zitha kumveka zopenga kapena zopitilira muyeso kwa ena a inu, koma 'omwe inu muli' mumadziwitsa zomwe mumachita. Kotero kudzilankhulira ngati "Ndine mtundu wa anyamata kuti…" ndi wamphamvu kwambiri. Khalani nawo ndipo pamapeto pake mudzakhala omwe muli.
* China choyenera kuchita ndikukhazikitsa umboni. Mwachitsanzo, ingowonerani makanema apa YouTube pazabwino zake kapena zoyipa zake. Osazipanga ngati zokambirana, koma tsimikizani zomwe mukufuna kukhulupirira. Mwachitsanzo, ndimayang'ana makanema a anyamata omwe achita bwino ndikulumikizana nawo momwe angathere… izi zimalimbitsa lingaliro langa losachita maliseche.
* Khalani otanganidwa. Nthawi zambiri, anyamata amadziseweretsa maliseche pomwe alibe chochita. Pangani moyo wanu kukhala wotanganidwa kwambiri kuti musawononge nthawi. Khalani ndi zolinga zosangalatsa. Lembani kalendala yanu. Muzikhala ndi nthawi yochepa muli nokha kunyumba.
* Osataya mtima. Osalungamitsa zolaula monga zachilendo, kapena zabwino mwanjira iliyonse. Si! Osadzinamiza. Itha kukhala chinjoka choyipa kwambiri, chowopsa kwambiri chamoyo, koma mutha kuchipha !! Ndizofunika kwambiri.
Ndinu ofunika kwambiri.
LINK - Nkhani Yanga - Zomwe Ndaphunzira Kulimbana ndi Zizolowezi Zolaula kwazaka zopitilira 10
By ReyBlanco
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