Chabwino anyamata, ndachita. Mwambi woyambitsanso masiku a 90 wapangitsa kugonana kukhala kosangalatsa. Vuto langa loti ndisiye zolaula. Tsopano ndili ndi masiku 91. Kuti ndingozichotsa m'njira ndinangosiya zolaula. Sindili paubwenzi wokhazikika.Posachedwa ndachoka pachibwenzi ndi chibwenzi. Izi zakhala kusintha kwakukulu pambuyo pa zaka 6 za LTR. Komabe, ndinagonanabe m’miyezi itatu imeneyi, kangapo ndi anthu 4 osiyanasiyana.
Kugonana kumakhala kosangalatsa
Ndikuganiza kuti palibe zolaula zandithandiza kwambiri pokhala ndi galimoto yambiri muzinthu zambiri. Kuphatikiza kufunitsitsa kwanga kokumana ndi azimayi. Komanso, sindinathe kusangalala ndi kugonana kwambiri ndisanasiye ndipo nditasiya sikuti kugonana kumakhala kosangalatsa. Ndimatha kuchita zinthu zogonana zomwe sindinathe kwa nthawi yayitali. Kugonana kumakhala kosangalatsa m'malo osiyanasiyana, ndipo ndimatha kufika pachimake mwachangu. Chinthu chimodzi chimene sindinathe kuchita kale chomwe chinali pachimake ndi munthu pa tsiku loyamba. Pali chiwonjezeko membala tilinazo ndi girth.
Tsopano ndimatha M mpaka O osayang'ana P, zomwe sindimaganiza kuti ndingachite. Zomwe sizinathe kuchita izi kuyambira zaka zachinyamata. Ndili ndi zaka 41 tsopano. Kuchedwetsa kutulutsa umuna ndi chinthu chomwe ndakhala nacho nthawi zonse, chomwe ndikuganiza kuti chikuchulukirachulukira ndipo mwina chimayamba chifukwa chogwiritsa ntchito zolaula.
Kodi tingawonjezere mawu oti PIDE kuti apite ndi PIED? PIDE imasiyana ndi ED chifukwa kulimbikira si vuto koma kuti pachimake pakhale zovuta kukwaniritsa. Mumazolowera kudziletsa nokha komanso momwe mumaonera zolaula. Ndikuganiza kuti kuwonetsetsa kwa zolaula kumakuchititsani mantha mwakuthupi ndi m'maganizo. Izi zimapanga chizoloŵezi chothamangitsa dopamine chodziseweretsa maliseche. Mukasankha zokondoweza zowonera podziseweretsa maliseche mukudziphunzitsa nokha kudalira zimenezo. Mukachichotsa pambuyo pake, mupeza kuti simungathe ngakhale kuseweretsa maliseche popanda. Maudindo ndi kuthamanga komwe kumakhala kosangalatsa kumakhazikika mu neural network yanu ndipo pamapeto pake simungasangalale nazo zosiyanasiyana. Izi zimayamwa, zimamveka ngati mukukhala ochepa m'malo mokula ngati munthu wogonana. Zimakwiyitsanso okondedwa wanu ndipo zimawapangitsa kukhala osatetezeka.
Zolaula zili ngati zizolowezi zina
Ndikudziwa kuti pali mikangano yokhudza zolaula kapena kugonana minyewa yofanana ndi mankhwala, sindikunena kuti ndikudziwa sayansi pa izi, koma ndizomveka mwasayansi ndipo ndikutha kutsimikizira kuchokera kuzochitika kuti ntchito iliyonse yosangalatsa imatha kupanga chizoloŵezi, ndipo ziribe kanthu kuti chinthucho ndi chiyani kuchuluka kwa chisangalalo chomwe mumapeza kumachepa. ndi pafupipafupi. Zimenezi n’zofanana ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo komanso kumwa mowa mwauchidakwa. Ndichifukwa chake anthu amafunafuna mochulukira komanso pafupipafupi kuti apeze mphotho zomwezo, iyi ndi sayansi yoyambira ya dopamine.
Choncho zolaula siziyenera kuyambitsa njira zomwezo monga crack kuti zikhale zosokoneza. Zinatsimikiziridwa kuti kugwa m'chikondi kumayambitsa ubongo mofanana ndi crack. Chizoloŵezi chogonana, chizolowezi chachikondi ndi zolaula sizosintha kwenikweni. Komabe, wina akhoza kugwera mumzake pamene chimodzi kapena chinacho sichikupezeka. Ngati mutaya mwayi wokonda chizolowezi chanu ndiye kuti mutha kusintha ndi zina. Omwe amamwa mowa amakhala ndi shuga wambiri akasiya mwachitsanzo.
Ndisanasiye zolaula ndi mowa ndidakhala miyezi ingapo ndikusiya. Ndingapangire kutero. Ngati mudakali ndi "kuyambiranso" mwina ndizosavuta kuziyikanso ngati nthawi yosiya kuyamwa. Ndiko kuti mungosiyiratu.
Mafunde a anhedonia
Kuyambira pamene ndinasiya sindinakhale ndi zilakolako zamphamvu za chirichonse, koma ndine munthu wopsinjika maganizo ndinamvadi mafunde a anhedonia. Kuzindikira kuti anhedonia ndi chiyani kumathandiza kuti musagonjetse kuyambiranso kuti mungochotsa kwa theka la ola. Palibe njira yotulutsira anhedonia kupatula nthawi, mwina kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kupuma, kusamba madzi ozizira, kugwira ntchito molimbika, kapena chokoleti chochuluka chomwe chimayambitsa oxytocin. Pakadali pano tabwereranso kuzinthu ngati njira zothanirana, zomwe sizikuthandizani nthawi yayitali. Koma ndikuvomereza kuti ndimagwiritsa ntchito chokoleti kuti ndichepetse zizindikiro zanga zosiya kusuta. Ndiyeneranso kukumbukira kuti ndisatengeke ndi chokoleti. Zaka zanga zimathandizanso kuti ndizitha kuletsa zilakolako, chifukwa cha kuchepa pang'ono kwa libido komwe kumabwera mwachibadwa, kotero ndikuthokoza kwambiri anyamata achichepere chifukwa chotha kuchita zovuta zilizonse za NoFap. Zikanakhala zovuta kwambiri kwa ine kuchita ngati mnyamata wosakwatiwa.
Osati kunja kwa nkhalango
Mumutu ndikunena kuti sindiri kunja kwa nkhalango, Miyezi itatu siinali yayitali ndipo ndikutha kuwona ngati kupambana pang'ono. Ngakhale ndakhala ndikuchita bwino kusiya zolaula, kumwa, udzu, kuluma misomali, ndikukhala ndi zizolowezi zabwino monga mavitamini a tsiku ndi tsiku, masewera olimbitsa thupi, kutambasula, kusinkhasinkha ndi magawo ophunzirira, ndidakali ndi mavuto a maganizo. Nthaŵi zina ndimamvabe kukomoka, ndipo ndimadzimenyabe. Nthawi zonse ndizikhala ndi chiyembekezo chambiri kwa ine ndekha koma, ndikuyembekeza kukhala mbuye wa dera langa malinga ndi malingaliro komanso zizolowezi. Zocheperako. Zowoneka bwino komanso zamtengo wapatali ngati munthu wokhazikika.
Mmodzi wa madeti ndinali posachedwapa kwathunthu derailed ine, chifukwa kugonana kunali kosangalatsa ndi zodabwitsa, ine ndinakhala wapamwamba Ufumuyo ndi clingy mu sabata yotsatira ndi kwathunthu mantha iye kutali. Mapulani omwe tinali nawo pa tsiku lachiwiri adasokoneza mpweya, chifukwa sindinali ozizira mokwanira ndipo ndinasokoneza mameseji.
Ndinadutsa mumsewu womwe ukanatha kupewedwa ngati sindinali wotetezeka. Mwamwayi, sindinabwererenso m'njira zopanda thanzi, kupatulapo gawo loyambira lomwe limayambitsa kugwiritsa ntchito zoyipa, zomwe ndi kuganiza mopambanitsa, kuganiza kwapadziko lonse, komanso kusowa kwamalingaliro, mantha osadziwika. Ndinasiya kuona momwe amamvera komanso malo ake chifukwa ndinkafuna kudziwa zomwe sizikudziwika, momwe ankamvera mumtima mwanga kuti nditsimikizidwe ndikuchepetsa mantha anga ndi kudzikayikira pambuyo pa tsiku loyamba.
Mwana wovulazidwa mu psyche yanga
Sindikumangiriza izi ndi zolaula ngati chifukwa chake, koma zolaula ndi zoyipa zina zinali njira zanga zothanirana ndi gawo la ine lomwe limachita mantha, zowawa zodzidalira kwambiri zomwe zimachokera ku ubwana wosungulumwa, nthawi zomwe Ndinali wosungulumwa kwambiri, nthaŵi zambiri ndinkapezereredwa, wokanidwa, ndipo ndinali ndi zaka zambiri za kupsinjika maganizo ndi chisokonezo ponena za anthu nditakula.
Tonsefe timakhala ndi ana opwetekawa mkati mwa psyche yathu omwe amalira kuti asamalidwe ndipo timafosholo mankhwala pamwamba pawo kuti awamitse. Zili ngati kupatsa mwana wanu wamkati pacifier koma osasintha thewera lonyansa. Tikangochotsa zoipazo tikhoza kuyamba kumvera tokha, mopweteka monga momwe zingakhalire. Ndiye tikhoza kuthetsa mantha athu mwa kudzilimbitsa tokha, kudzimvera chisoni, ndi zizolowezi zathanzi zomwe zimatipangitsa kukhala amphamvu kwambiri kotero kuti mantha sangathe kuyendetsa chiwonetsero.
Mwachiwonekere ndikugwirabe ntchito pa izi, koma pamene ndikukhalabe wodzipereka pakukula, ndimakhala ndi chidaliro chochulukirapo pang'onopang'ono. Nthawi ina ndikakumana ndi munthu amene ndimamukonda mwina ndidzafika pa tsiku lachiwiri. Khalani ndi moyo ndikuphunzira, ndipo nyamukani kuyesanso tsiku lina.
Kufunika kwa kulumikizana
Kupanda kulumikizana ndi anthu mwina ndiye chifukwa chachikulu chazolowera. Zoyipa zomwe timachita ndizovuta za kukhuta kwa kudalira kwachilengedwe komwe kulipo kutipangitsa kukhala ogwirizana ndi kupitiliza zamoyozo. Aliyense amafunikira kulumikizana komanso kukhala paubwenzi, ndipo nthawi yathu yamakono ikumanganso chikhalidwe chonse ndi chuma kuti tipindule ndi kukhutitsidwa pompopompo. Makampani amatipatsa chisangalalo chapompopompo chomwe chimatichotsera ntchito yovuta kwambiri yopanga mayanjano. Sitikungopereka ndalama zathu kumakampaniwa koma nthawi yathu komanso malo athu ochezera. Tikamalola kwambiri m'pamenenso timakhala ana osamvera omwe sangathe kupanga zisankho kapena m'mimba njira iliyonse kuti tipeze zomwe tikufuna.
Zolaula zimakukhutitsani mubulangete losasowa anthu. Anthu amandipweteka kotero ndimapeza njira yoti ndisawasowe, ndidadumphadumpha mpaka kumapeto kwa ulendo wonse wopeza abwenzi, kupeza umboni wapagulu, kusangalatsa mkazi komanso kukhala pachibwenzi, ndikungodzikhutitsa ndi malingaliro owoneka bwino. kugonana. Muyenera kudalira, muyenera kuyesa.
Kukhala ndi chiyembekezo chamtsogolo
Ndili ndi chiyembekezo kuti m'masiku anga 90 otsatira odziletsa komanso kudziletsa ndilibe vuto la anhedonia, nditha kuchira msanga kuchokera ku zokhumudwitsa, kuyendetsa bwino nthawi yanga ndikupanga zisankho zovuta panjira ya moyo wanga motsimikiza kwambiri. Ndakhala nthawi yonseyi ndikadakhala ndikuwonera zolaula makanema okhudza neuroscience. Kuphunzira za kupsinjika maganizo, kukweza kugwedezeka kwanga, ubwino wa kusinkhasinkha, Zen Buddhism, ndi nkhani zina zambiri zomwe zimandithandiza kulimbitsa mphamvu zanga zopewera kutaya chiyembekezo komwe kumabwera chifukwa chodzipatula komanso kupsinjika maganizo. Zotsatira zake, sikuti kugonana kumangosangalatsa kwambiri ndimamva kuti ndikukulitsa kulumikizana ndi anthu omwe ndimawakonda ndikupanga maubwenzi atsopano. Ichi ndiye cholinga changa chachikulu, kukhala wofunikira mdziko lino, kupereka ndi kulandira chikondi chopanda malire.
Kulemera.
LINK - Kuyambiranso kwamasiku 90 kwatha, koma sindinachoke m'nkhalango.
Wolemba - u/wervil
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