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PAMENE anali ndi zaka 10 zokha komanso akadali pasukulu ya pulaimale, Courtney Daniella Boateng adayamba kuonera zogonana pa intaneti.
Apa, wazaka 23 wazaka zakubadwa adamuwonetsa momwe chizolowezi chake chidamudya mpaka pomwe adakumana nacho zaka zinayi zapitazo.
“Nditayang'ana pa kompyuta, ndinadabwa kwambiri nditamva vidiyo ya mwamuna ndi mkazi akugonana m'kamwa. Wakale zaka 10, ndimadziwa kuti sindiyenera kuwonera izi, koma sindinathe kuyima.
Kung'ung'udza ndi kugaya konse - kodi uku kunali "kugonana" komwe adatchulako m'mafilimu ndi munyimbo? Sindinathe kung'amba maso anga. Inali nthawi yoyamba kuwona chilichonse chonga ichi.
Nthawi zonse ndimakhala mwana wofunafuna kudziwa zambiri, ndimafunsa mafunso pafupipafupi za chilichonse kuyambira nyama mpaka sayansi, ndipo makolo anga akagwira ntchito kapena kutanganidwa, ndimatembenukira ku YouTube kuti ndikwaniritse chidwi changa.
Chifukwa chake, ndili mchaka chomaliza chomaliza sukulu yasekondale kumpoto kwa London mu June 2007 ndipo zogonana zidakhala gawo lathu lamanong'onong'o osewerera, ndidaganiza ku Google "makanema ogonana", ndikuganiza kuti ndipeza kanema wophunzitsa.
M'malo mwake zidabweretsa ulalo wa Pornhub. Lachitatu masana, makolo anga ali pansi ndi mlongo wanga wazaka zisanu ndi chimodzi akusewera pafupi, ndidakumana koyamba zogonana.
Zinali zophweka kwambiri kukanikiza batani lonena kuti ndili ndi zaka 18. Amayi ndi abambo sanatsegule maloko a makolo chifukwa amandikhulupirira, ndipo palibe masamba omwe adapemphapo ID.
Kanemayo adandidabwitsa - sizinali ngati zomwe ndidaziwonapo ndipo nthawi yomweyo ndimafuna kuwona zambiri. Posakhalitsa ndinayamba chizolowezi - kangapo pamwezi pomwe ndimadziwa kuti makolo anga akugwira ntchito mochedwa, ndimakoka Pornhub ndikusaka "okonda koyamba" kapena "okwatirana".
MAOLA Owononga MLUNGU
Pambuyo pa mwezi umodzi kapena kupitilira apo, ndimatha kungopita masiku ochepa osakhala ndi zolaula - malingaliro anga amatha kuzungulirana ndi zithunzi zomwe ndidaziwona - ndinali nditazolowera.
Kuti ndisunge mayendedwe anga, ndimachotsa mbiri yanga yakusaka, ndikuyika chikwama changa kusukulu pakhomo kuti ndiyimitse aliyense amene angobwera ndikamayang'ana. Ndinabisiranso anzanga chibwana chachinsinsi, chifukwa sindinkafuna kukhala woyamba kufotokoza nkhaniyi.
Kulakalaka kwanga kunapitilira kusukulu yasekondale. Pofika nthawi imeneyo, ndimangowononga zolaula maola awiri kapena atatu sabata iliyonse.
Ndimakonda kuwonera makanema okhala ndi nkhani zachikondi zomwe ndimatha kutsatira, koma nthawi zina ndimawona zinthu zankhanza zomwe sindimakonda. Nditawona atsikana akuponyedwa, alibe chochita pazomwe zikuchitika, ndimangotseka msakatuli wanga ndikuyesera kutulutsa mutu wanga.
Chibwenzi changa ndi zolaula chidasintha mu 2013, ndili ndi zaka 15. Chaka chomaliza chomaliza kusukulu chimakhala chovuta kwa wachinyamata aliyense - mukumangokhalira kukakamizidwa m'maphunziro ndi mahomoni okwiya komanso kuda nkhawa ngati wina angakusangalatseni.
Ndinayamba kukhala ndi nkhawa yayikulu kangapo pamwezi ndipo ndimayamba zolaula kuti ndipulumuke. Ndinayambanso kuseweretsa maliseche - chiwonetsero chilichonse chimabweretsa mpumulo.
Komabe, ngakhale zidandipatsa chododometsa kwakanthawi kochepa kupsinjika ndi nkhawa, mphindi zochepa ndikufuna wina apite. Ndinayamba kuzolowera kuthamanga kwa dopamine.
Pofika mu June 2014, ndinali kuseweretsa maliseche kawiri kapena katatu pa sabata. Anzanga atavomereza kuti nthawi zina amawonanso zolaula, ndinakhala womasuka - koma sindinayerekeze kuvomereza kuchuluka kwa chizolowezi changa.
Komabe sindinathe kuyima, ndipo pofika mwezi wa February wotsatira, ndinali nditakwanira. Kupsinjika kofunsira kuyunivesite kuti ndiphunzire zandale komanso zachikhalidwe cha anthu, kuphatikiza mahomoni okwiya, kunatanthauza kuti nkhawa yanga idatha.
Ndinauza makolo anga ndi adotolo ndikamakumana ndi nkhawa tsiku lililonse, ndikuwonetsa kuti kugona mokwanira komanso kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kungathandizire, koma sizinathandize.
Ndinadzimva kuti ndikutsitsidwa, ndipo mwezi womwewo ndinayesera kudzipha ndekha pomwa mankhwala a paracetamol. Ndinadzitsekera mchimbudzi, momwe mchemwali wanga adandipeza nditazizimuka pansi ndikuyitanitsa ambulansi.
Momwe madotolo ankanditsogolera ndikundipakasa, mayi anga okhumudwa adandifunsa chifukwa chomwe ndidachitira. Ndinachita manyazi, sindinatchule za zolaula zanga, koma ndimadziwa kuti ndichomwecho. Ndinkakonda kwambiri kugwiritsa ntchito ziphuphu kuti ndichepetse nkhawa zanga, koma vuto langa lomwenso limandithandizanso.
ZIYEMBEKEZO ZOSANGALALIKA
Komabe, sindinazindikire momwe zimakhudzira ine mpaka nditakhala pachibwenzi chomaliza ndi Joe *, mu Disembala 2015, ndili ndi zaka 18.
Kugonana sikunakwaniritse zomwe ndimayembekezera - zinali zovuta, zosokoneza komanso zotopetsa. Panalibe chilakolako, ndipo ngati sakanapereka zomwezo zolaula, bwanji kuvuta?
Ndinathetsa chibwenzi patatha miyezi isanu, ndikulongosola kuti ndimafunikira nthawi yoti ndizigwirira ntchito ndekha, koma sindinanene chilichonse chokhudzana ndi kugonana kwathu popeza sindinkafuna kumukhumudwitsa.
Chifukwa cha izi, komanso kuti ndimafunikira kuchita zolaula katatu pamlungu, ndidazindikira kuti ndikulowerera. Ndikapanikizika komanso kuda nkhawa, sindinkaganiza china chilichonse kupatula mphindi 20 zokha.
Ngakhale sindinadzimvere kuti ndili ndi chilakolako chogonana, ndimadziwa kuti ndiyo njira yokhayo yodzipangitsa kumva bwino. Panalinso zizindikiro zina zochenjeza, monga momwe ubale wanga ndi thupi langa udasokonekera.
Sindingathe kudzifanizira ndekha ndi atsikana omwe ali pazenera. Ndinayamba kudana ndi thupi langa nditazindikira kuti ndinali ndi zotumphuka zambiri kuposa iwo komanso kuti ma boobs anga sanali ovuta ngati awo.
Mu Marichi 2016, ndinayesa kupita kuzizira kwanthawi yoyamba m'zaka zisanu ndi zitatu - wopanda zolaula, wopanda maliseche, osagonana. Wotsirizayo sanali wovuta poganizira kuti ndinali wosakwatiwa, koma ndinalimbana popanda enawo.
Awa anali opita kwanga-nthawi iliyonse yomwe ndimakhala ndi nkhawa mkati mwanga. Chifukwa chake ndidayamba kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi a yoga, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi komanso anzanga, komanso kupita kutchalitchi.
Ndinavomerezanso kuti izi zitenga nthawi, ndikuti sindimva mwadzidzidzi.
Sindingakhale womasuka kuuza banja langa za nkhaniyi - ndi ochokera m'badwo wina, ndipo ndimadziwa kuti zikadakhala zovuta kuti amvetsetse. Sindinavomere kuti ndinali ndi chizolowezi chomachita chilichonse mpaka nditajambula kanema waku YouTube wobvomereza mu Epulo 2020.
Inali nthawi yoyamba kuti ndikhale womasuka ndikudziwa momwe ndimadalira zolaula kuti ndithane ndi nkhawa. Anthu opitilira 800,000 adandiona ndikutsegula, ndipo mayankho awo anali odabwitsa. Ambiri adagawana nawo zovuta zomwezi.
Ndimamva ngati ndiyambitsa gulu lothandizira - zomwe ndimafuna ndikadakhala nazo zaka zonse zapitazo. Ndipo ngakhale ndinali ndi mantha ndi zomwe anzanga komanso abale angaganize, onse adayamikira mphamvu zanga polimbana ndi vutoli.
Ndidadzipereka kuti ndidziwe zambiri zamavuto omwe amabwera chifukwa chazolaula, ndikudziwa kuti kumvetsetsa izi kumangochepetsa chidwi changa.
Kumva za kuzunzidwa kwa azimayi omwe amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula kunandidabwitsa - podina maulalowa, ndimathandizira kugwiriridwa, ntchito zosakwanitsa zaka komanso ziwawa. Sindinkafuna kutenga nawo mbali.
Tsopano, sindimayang'ananso zolaula ndipo sindiphonya. Sindili pachibwenzi ndi aliyense, ndikungoyembekezera mnyamata woyenera kuti andiwonetse ubale wabwino. Ndikudziponyanso pantchito yanga yaubwino wa CDB London Hair, ndikusangalala ndikucheza ndi banja.
Sindikumva manyazi ndiulendo wanga, chifukwa zandithandiza kuphunzira zambiri za ine - kuthana ndi vuto langa lolaula kwandionetsa kuti ndine wolimba mtima kuposa momwe ndimaganizira. ”
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