Chabwino, iyi si nkhani yopambana ngati pali ambiri pano. Ndi chifukwa chakuti ndikulemba izi munthawi yazokayikira, komanso kusadzidalira, koma pali chiyembekezo.
Ndine wazaka 25, ndipo ndakhala ndikulowerera kuyambira ndili ndi zaka 11. Zidabwera kwa ine ngati zoyendetsa mwachilengedwe, zolimbikitsidwa ndi ana ozungulira omwe amalankhula za P. mwanjira yotere, zomwe zidandipangitsa kufuna kulawa chipatso choletsedwa. Kukumana kwanga koyamba ndi P. ndipamene ndidakhala ndi chidaliro chokwanira kuti ndipite ku kiosk, ndikupempha magazini kuchokera pa alumali yayikulu - imodzi mwazomwe zimayikidwa pamwamba kuti ana asawafikire, kapena kuwawona momwe iwo alili yendani mkati. Ndinadabwa kuti mayi yemwe anali pambuyo pa desikiyo sanandifunse, ndipo anandigulitsa ngati chokoleti. Magaziniyi idangokhala CD yokhala ndi makanema angapo. Pambuyo pazaka zonsezi ndikutha kukumbukira kuti amatchedwa 'Tabu Wanu'. Ine ndi ma freinds angapo tidakumana mnyumba imodzi, ndikuyamba kuwunika. Ndimakumbukira chisangalalo chachikulu chomwe tidakumana nacho, ndipo nthawi imeneyo palibe amene amadziwa choti achite nazo. Tsiku lotsatira kusukulu ndinacheza ndi mnzanga wina, yemwe anali 'wodziwa zambiri', ndipo anandiuza za M. Anandiuza kuti ndigwedeze maulendo 80, ndipo zitha (inde ndikuzindikira kupusa kwake zikumveka). Nditamaliza sukuluyo ndidapita kunyumba, ndikuwonetsetsa kuti ndikakhala ndekha. Ndidasewera kanema ndipo inali nthawi yanga yoyamba kukhala ndi a M. ndi O.
PMO yakhala gawo lowala kwambiri tsiku lililonse. Palibe chisangalalo china kapena chidziwitso chomwe chingafanane nacho. Ndinayamba kuchitira atsikana ngati s * x zinthu. Chifukwa chokha chomwe ndimafunira kukhala ndi chibwenzi chinali kusinthanso zomwe ndidawona mu P. Ndipo zachidziwikire kuti sindingakhale nazo. Ndinali wamantha kwambiri. Chidaliro changa chinatsika ngati gehena. Poyamba ndinali munthu wowala, wokondwa, komanso wolimba mtima kusukulu ya pulaimale, koma nditadutsa pakhomo lakutaya mtima, ndinasowa njala kuti ndione. Ndidachita zopusa zamtundu uliwonse kuti anzanga andilandire. Patatha zaka zingapo ndidayamba kukhala ndi nkhawa, komanso zizindikilo zina za kukhumudwa. Sindingathe kulumikiza chilichonse chomwe chimandichitikira kwa PMO. Ndinali wamaso ochepa.
Pomwe ndinali ndi zaka 15, ndimalowa kutchalitchi kwambiri. Ndimaganiza kuti ndikhulupilira, ndipo ndimaganiziranso zodzakhala wansembe. Panthawiyi ndinali pafupi kulandira sakramenti lotsimikizira. Ndinapemphera kwambiri, ndipo ndinkafuna kusiya PMO. Ndimaganiza kuti Yesu andipulumutsa. Pambuyo pa mwambowu, ndinasiya PMO kwa milungu iwiri. Ndipo zonse zidabwerera momwe zidakhalira. Cholinga chake ndikuti, chidwi changa chidachokera kunja. Ndinkafuna kusiya chifukwa linali tchimo, osati chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti likuwononga moyo wanga. Chifukwa chake nditazindikira kuti Yesu sadzandipulumutsa ine, ndidachoka kutchalitchi kwazaka zambiri. Kutalika kwakanthawi kwamasiku 2 sikunachitike kwa ine mpaka miyezi ingapo mmbuyo, pomwe ndidapeza forum ya nofap. Sikuti sindinali kuyesa. Sindinapeze mphamvu mkati mwanga. Nthawi ina ndidasiya kumenya nkhondo, ndipo ndidavomereza kuti ndi chikhalidwe chachilengedwe, ndipo palibe cholakwika ndikumenya nyama kamodzi kanthawi - popeza aliyense amachita izi, ndipo anthu samawoneka ngati achisoni.
Kusintha kwina m'moyo wanga kunali pamene ndinali kuphunzira. Pokhala ndi zaka 20 ndinali ndikukhalabe ndi makolo anga, ndipo mwadzidzidzi ndidayamba kukakamizidwa kuti ndisamuke. Sikuti makolo anga anali kundithamangitsa, amafuna kuti ndikhale, koma ndinazindikira kuti ndili ndi nthawi yochepa yolimbana ndi moyo wanga. Zinayambitsa nkhawa yayikulu, komanso kukhumudwa. Ndinkaona kuti sindingathe kudzisamalira ndekha mtsogolo - kuti sinditha kudzisamalira. Nthawi zonse ndimadalira munthu wina, chifukwa chake sindinasankhe chilichonse, zomwe zimandipangitsa kuti ndizimva kuti ndili ndiudindo ndekha. Pakadali pano sindinathe kuwona momwe vuto langa linali lofunika pakadali pano. Ndinalowa mankhwala. Ndinayamba kukumbukira zakale, kuyesera kufotokoza zomwe zidalakwika. Ndinali wowona mtima kwa asing'anga, koma ndinkachita manyazi ndi vuto langa la PMO, chifukwa chake ndimabisalira kwanthawi yayitali. Anandipatsa malingaliro oyambira, ndikundithandiza kumvetsetsa zina mwazi mantha anga chifukwa cha ubale wanga wovuta ndi abambo anga ndili mwana. Ndipo zidandipangitsa kumva bwino, komabe sindinaganize kuti ndi zomwezo. Pomaliza ndidabwera patsamba lino, ndipo ndidawerenga, ndikuwerenga, ndikuwerenga. Ndinawerengera, ndipo zimapezeka kuti ine PMO'd pafupifupi nthawi 8000 mpaka pano. Ndinaganiza zopatsa mfuti nofap. Anali 9th March 2018. Ndinayamba masiku 90 nofap streak.
Mwanjira inayake ndimatha kukhala ndi moyo sabata ndi sabata, ndipo masiku 14 atatha, ndinamva zomwe nonse mumafotokoza ngati zamphamvu. Ndinali wamphamvu kuposa kale lonse, ndipo ndimatha kuyendetsa galimoto yanga! Ndipo kenako, chozizwitsa chinachitika. Ndinakumana ndi mtsikana pa tinder. Adali patali kwambiri ndi mgwirizano wanga (wamkulu wazaka 5, wochita zisudzo, komanso wotsogola yemwe adakhala zaka 10 zapitazo ku Asia), koma adandikondadi. Fot nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga, ndili ndi zaka 25 ndinali ndi chibwenzi !!! Poyamba zinali zodabwitsa. Tinkakumana, kutumizirana mameseji, kucheza limodzi, ndipo tinali ndi s * x. Ndidapitilizabe kuyambiranso, ngakhale ndikakumana ndi zowawa zazikulu mu mipira yanga ndimatulutsa zovuta kamodzi kwakanthawi, koma kopanda P. Zinangokhala zoyeserera, pomwe sindimaganiza za chilichonse, ndikungoyembekezera kutuluka. Ndikudziwa kuti zinali ngati kubera, komabe, ndani angaweruze? Tsopano, pokhala ndi mwayi wokwaniritsa zokonda zanga zazikulu, ndimamugwiritsa ntchito kwambiri. Ndipo sindimadziwa izi. Ndimaganiza kuti ndimamukonda, pomwe ndimangofunika kuti amve kukondedwa, komanso kuti athetse mavuto anga. Pa 26th Meyi 2018 tidasiyana. Ndinkamva chisoni komanso kumva chisoni. Ndinabwereranso patatha masiku 70, osamaliza ntchitoyi.
Izi zinandipangitsa kuti ndizimva ngati shiti. Ndinali mu paradiso, ndipo nditangochita kumene, ndinadzigwetsa nkhope yanga pachiswe. Zinanditengera kanthawi kuti ndilembe, ndikubwerera. Ndipo zinali zosasangalatsa bwanji! Miyezi yotsatira ya 3 inali miyezi yovuta kwambiri m'moyo wanga, momwe ndimadziwonetsera ndekha kuti ndilidi wamphamvu bwanji. Ndinayamba kuchita zinthu zomwe ndimadana nazo kwambiri chifukwa chofuna kuzichita, komanso kukhala wopanda nkhawa. Kuyambukira ku 5: 30, kumangokhala ndi ziwonetsero zozizira zokha, ndikuthamanga (theka-marathons mpaka pano) ndi zitsanzo zabwino kwambiri. Ndinali kudziikira zolinga pambuyo pake, ndipo nthawi zambiri ndimadzizunza ndekha ndi zotsatira zabwino. Zabwino zanga zidayamba kale kuposa kale. Ndinayamba kudya wathanzi, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, komanso kusinkhasinkha tsiku lililonse. Ndidapanga mndandanda wazolinga za chaka chotsatira, komanso wazaka zisanu zotsatira. Zina mwazo sizingachitike, koma ndinadzipereka kwenikweni, ndipo kupita patsogolo komwe ndakwaniritsa ndikofunikira.
Ndinafufuzanso magawo ena, omwe ndimalemba ola lililonse ndimadzuka kwa miyezi itatu yapitayo. Zikuwoneka kuti s * xual drive ili ngati funde. Zimabwera ndikupita. Nthawi zina amakhala masiku 3, masiku 10 akutuluka, koma amasintha pakapita nthawi. Zikatuluka sindikusowa kuti ndilingane ndi PMO. Zikuchitika zokha. Koma mafunde akabwera, akukhala ovuta kwambiri. Ndinaswa malonjezo anga kangapo. Ndinayang'ana P. Ndinachita izi kwa maola angapo. Koma sindinachite MO. Ndinadziwa kuti njira yokhayo yopulumukira ndikupewa MO, mafunde akabwera. Ndipo ndinatero. Tsopano nthawi iliyonse ikandipatsa, ndimakhala nthawi yocheperako ndikuganiza. Ndikuyembekezera mwachidwi kuwona momwe izi zidzakhalire mchaka chimodzi, chifukwa ndichimodzi mwazolinga zanga.
Panopa ndili pa tsiku la 116th la PMO hard mode streak yanga. Ndipo ndikuwona kuti nsapato zanga zimayamba kuterera. Pazifukwa zina ndimataya chidwi. Sindingathenso kukhala ndi zizolowezi zonse zathanzi komanso zopindulitsa zomwe ndakhala ndikuchita tsiku ndi tsiku. Zimandidetsa nkhawa, koma nthawi yomweyo ndimakhala wodekha. Mawu ena m'mutu mwanga amangondiuza, kuti ndimathamanga kwambiri pazonsezi, ndipo tsopano ndiyenera kupumula, kuti ndipeze mphamvu zobwereranso - zina, zamphamvu, zabwinoko, komanso zowonekera kwambiri. Chifukwa chake ngakhale chilichonse chomwe chandizungulira chikuphwanyidwa, ndipo posachita chilichonse ndimakhala pachiwopsezo chokwaniritsa zolinga zanga, ndimakhala mwamtendere komanso ndikudzidalira. Pakuti zabwino ziyenera kubwera pamapeto pake.
Eya, zinanditengera maola 2 kuti ndilembe izi, koma ndikuganiza kuti zithandizira ine, komanso nonse.
Samalani, ndipo khalani olimba!
LINK - 116 masiku owopsa
by realsawyer
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