Ndakhala ndiulendo wodabwitsa ndikubwezeretsanso (Ndikulingalira kuti aliyense amatero). Nditangoyamba kumene, ndimaganiza kuti zolaula ndizomwe ndimalephera kwambiri. Porn zinali zonyansa kwa ine. Anali malo amodzi okha omwe ndimamva kukhala otetezeka kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanga. Nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndi malingaliro kuti kuseweretsa maliseche kunali kwabwino komanso kwachilengedwe, pomwe zolaula sizinali choncho. Chifukwa chake, ndinadzilola kuseweretsa maliseche poyambiranso masiku 90.
Komabe, nditayamba kuyandikira masiku 90 opanda zolaula, ndinazindikira kuti ndimagwiritsa ntchito maliseche pazifukwa zomwe ndimagwiritsa ntchito zolaula. Zinali zotopetsa kwa ine. Chinali chinthu chomwe ndimagwiritsa ntchito ndikamasungulumwa, kukanidwa, kukhumudwitsidwa, kapena kusamvetsetsa. Chifukwa chake, ndidaganiza zopita masiku ena 90, nthawi ino wopanda zolaula komanso wopanda maliseche. Tsopano, ndili ndi masiku 165 zolaula komanso masiku a 90 ndiseweretsa maliseche. Ndiyenera kunena, ndine wokondwa ndi zotsatirazo.
Ndikuganiza kuti ndikofunikira kunena kuti, ngakhale cholembera changa cha tsiku ndi tsiku ndichopatsa chidwi, sindikukhulupirira kuti kuchira bwino kumayesedwa m'masiku odziletsa. Kudziletsa sikofanana ndi kuchira. Kubwezeretsa sikuyesedwa masiku, koma m'mene zinthu zasinthira mumakhalidwe anu, malingaliro anu, ndi malingaliro anu. Kuyambiranso masiku 90 ndichinthu chofunikira kwambiri kukhazikitsa, koma sikukuchitirani chilichonse ngati mutakhala nthawi yonseyo mukukuta mano ndikulakalaka mutangobwerera kuzikhalidwe zanu zakale. Chifukwa chake, m'malo mongoganizira kuchuluka kwa masiku omwe ndidatha kusiya, ndikambirana zina mwa zomwe ndasintha pamakhalidwe anga, malingaliro anga, ndi moyo wanga.
Chimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu zomwe ndasintha ndikuti ndayamba kudzimvera chisoni. Kwa moyo wanga wonse, ndakhala ndikudzidalira kwambiri. Malingaliro ambiri m'mutu mwanga amadzichotsera ulemu, ngakhale ndikachita china chokongola kapena chaluso. Zolaula komanso maliseche zinali njira zondithandizira kutonthoza zilonda. Tsopano popeza sindimadaliranso zolaula komanso maliseche chifukwa cha izi, ndinayenera kuyang'anizana ndi malingaliro anga onyazitsa. Ndapeza njira zabwino zothanirana mabalawo. Ndaphunzira za mphamvu yakuchiritsa ya kusinkhasinkha, kulemba nkhani, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, chithandizo chamankhwala, kukhala womasuka komanso woona mtima ndi anzanga komanso abale. Kudzidzudzula kumadzutsa m'manda pansi pa zolaula ndi maliseche. Zimangoyamba kuchira mukaziulula ndikuyamba kubwerera kuti muwone zonse.
Kusintha kwina kwakukulu ndikuti ndimakhala womvera kwambiri. Monga bambo wachimereka, nthawi zonse ndimaphunzitsidwa kuti kufotokoza zakukhosi ndikumakhala kofooka ndili mwana. Sindinangophunzitsidwa izi ndi anthu ophunzitsa m'moyo wanga monga aphunzitsi ndi makolo, komanso ndi ana ena. Pambuyo pake ndinadziphunzitsa ndekha kugwetsa misozi ndikakhala wachisoni, kuti ndiziwongolera mawu anga ndikamakwiya, kuti ndiziwongolera kupuma kwanga ndikawona chinthu chokongola, ndikuwoneka wolimba nthawi zonse chifukwa ndizomwe zimakupangitsani mwamuna.
Ku America, amunafe timakhulupirira kuti njira yokhayo yoyenera kudziwonetsera nokha ndikuchipinda. Kugonana ndi nthawi yokhayo yomwe mumaloledwa kukhala pachiwopsezo, osawopa chiweruzo komanso osabweza chilichonse. Ndikuganiza kuti ndichifukwa chake ndidayamba zolaula. Zotsatira zake, ndimakhala wokonda kutengeka kwambiri, ndipo ndiyenera kufotokoza zakuthupi. Nditachotsa zolaula komanso maliseche, ndikudziwa kuti ndili ndi zosankha zambiri kupatula kungolimbikitsa kugonana kuti ndikhale ndekha ndikumverera zinthu zathupi. Mutha kukhala kuti nditha kuliranso posakhalitsa.
Moyo wanga wogonana wasintha (ndipo ukupitilizabe). Mnzanga ndi ine tili pafupi kwambiri tsopano kuposa kale, ndipo ndikuganiza kuti ndimayamikira zomwe timakumana nazo zogonana tsopano kuposa momwe ndinayambiranso. Masiku ano, kugonana ndizochuluka kwambiri kwa ine kuposa kungokhala kaphokoso kena m'nyanja yopanda tanthauzo ya PMO. Ndimakonda kutsogola pafupifupi momwe ndimakondera kulowa. Ndimasangalala ndi ubale wathu wonse, ndipo kugonana kwakhala kopitilira muyeso kwa ife.
Kotero izi ndi zinthu zochepa chabe zomwe ndazindikira za ine kuyambira nditasiya kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula ndi maliseche kuti ndithane ndi mavuto anga.
Kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yapitayo, ndakhala ndikugwiritsa ntchito kwambiri pamsonkhanowu. Ndinkayendera pafupifupi tsiku lililonse, ndalemba zolemba zanga zambiri, ndipo ndapereka ndemanga mazana. Ndachita nawo zokambirana zosangalatsa pamitu monga maubwenzi, kugonana, zamakhalidwe, ndi malamulo. Ndawerenga nkhani zolimbikitsa, ndipo ndawona gulu la anthu omwe amathandizana wina ndi mnzake ndikulimbikitsa aliyense kuti akhale ndi moyo watsopano. Ndimakonda gulu lino, ndipo ndine wokondwa kuti ndabwera kuno.
Ndanena izi, ndikuganiza ndikhala pang'ono pang'ono. Ndakhala nthawi yayitali pamsonkhano uno, ndipo ndikufuna kuti ndiyambenso kudziyimira pawokha. Osadandaula, sindikuchoka kwamuyaya kapena china chilichonse chonga icho. Komabe, ndiyenera kunena kuti kusiya gululi ndikukhala ndekha wopanda PMO ndi cholinga changa chanthawi yayitali.
Ndibwerera kuno ndikafuna thandizo lina, ndipo ndibwerera kuno ngati ndili ndi mafunso oti ndifunse kapena ndili ndi anthu omwe ndikufuna kuti ndilankhule nawo. Chifukwa chake, mwanjira ina, uku ndikutsanzikana. Komabe, ndi chiyambi chatsopano. Ine sindikuwona izi ngati kumapeto kwa kuchira kwanga. M'malo mwake, ndimawona ngati chinthu chatsopano chondichiritsira. Tsopano ndafikira pomwe ndakhala ndikudzidalira kwambiri kuthekera kwanga kuthana ndi zovuta pamaganizidwe anga ndi machitidwe anga, ndipo ndizinyamula zomwe ndaphunzira pagululi ndi ine kulikonse komwe ndikupita . Ndipitilizabe kukhala wokonda kuchira, ndipo ndikukulimbikitsani nonse kuti muchitenso zomwezo mukakwaniritsa zolinga zanu za masiku 90.
Zabwino zonse,
Ridley
LINK - Masiku 165 palibe P, masiku 90 palibe M - kusintha m'moyo wanga
by Ridley
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