Chifukwa chiyani mauthenga amachititsa phunziro limodzi loipa ndi kusokoneza mfundo zake ndi mtengo woopsya.
Lofalitsidwa pa Julayi 24, 2013 ndi Robert Weiss, LCSW, CSAT-S mu Chikondi ndi Kugonana mu Nthawi ya Digito
Ndi Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S ndi Stefanie Carnes PhD, CSAT-S
Mu kafukufuku wofalitsidwa mdziko lonse womwe unafalitsidwa sabata yatha, gulu la ofufuza linanena kuti zomwe nthawi zambiri zimatchedwa "chizolowezi chogonana" zitha kumveka bwino ngati kusiyanasiyana kwa "chilakolako chachikulu chogonana." Pambuyo pofalitsa nkhaniyi, atolankhani ambiri adati zomwe zapezeka mu kafukufukuyu zikuwonetsa kuti palibe maziko asayansi odziwira chizolowezi chogonana . Izi zachitika ngakhale kuti kafukufukuyu ndi woyamba wamtunduwu, wodzaza ndi zolakwika za njira, komanso wosatsimikizika ndi zomwe wapeza. Komabe, akupitilizabe kukopa chidwi cha atolankhani, mwina chifukwa amalankhula za machitidwe ovuta a kugonana kwa anthu, omwe nthawi zonse amakhala okopa chidwi cha atolankhani.
Mu kafukufukuyu, ofufuza adayang'anira ntchito ya ubongo (pogwiritsa ntchito ukadaulo wa EEG) wa amuna ndi akazi 52 omwe adanena kuti ali ndi "mavuto olamulira momwe amaonera zithunzi zogonana." Ofufuzawo adapempha anthuwa kuti ayang'ane zithunzi zosapitirira 225 - zithunzi za chilichonse kuyambira chiwawa mpaka anthu omwe amaseŵera pa skateboard mpaka amuna ndi akazi omwe akugonana limodzi - pomwe EEG idayesa ntchito ya ubongo wawo. Ophunzirawo adamalizanso mafunso angapo okhudza chilakolako chawo chogonana ndi zochita zawo. Kwenikweni, ofufuza anali kufunafuna mgwirizano pakati pa kuwerenga kwa EEG ndi zigoli za ophunzira pamafunso osiyanasiyana, poganiza kuti kulumikizana kulikonse kungathandize kuwunikira ngati kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula molakwika kumachitika chifukwa cha chizolowezi (chomwe kwenikweni ndi vuto la mitsempha) kapena kungokhala ndi chilakolako chachikulu cha kugonana.
Kuyambira pomwe kafukufukuyu adatulutsidwa, otsutsa atchula zolakwika zambiri, kuphatikizapo nkhawa kuti gulu la zitsanzolo linali losiyana kwambiri ndi anthu omwe akufuna chithandizo chamankhwala komanso kuti anthu omwe adayesedwawo sanafufuzidwe matenda ena omwe angasokoneze zotsatira zake. Kuphatikiza apo, pali mafunso ofunikira okhudza njira yogwiritsira ntchito kupeza chimodzi mwa zida zomwe zidagwiritsidwa ntchito mu kafukufukuyu, zomwe mwina zidasokoneza muyesowo ndikusokoneza ziwerengerozo. Mwachidule, kutsimikiza kwa ofufuza za hypersexuality ya munthuyo kunachokera makamaka pa mayankho a munthuyo pa mafunso okhudza kugonana ndi mnzake, pomwe kusanthula ubongo kunagwiritsidwa ntchito kuyang'anira zochitika zogonana payekha. Monga momwe munthu aliyense wokonda kugonana angakuuzeni, pali kusiyana kwakukulu momwe ambiri a iwo amamvera komanso momwe amayankhira kugonana mkati mwa thupi poyerekeza ndi zomwe zimachitika pazenera. Cholakwika chomwe chimawonekera bwino kwambiri chinali kugwiritsa ntchito molakwika kwa gulu lofufuza za Sexual Desire Inventory (SDI). Chodabwitsa n'chakuti, ofufuzawo adaganiza zogwiritsa ntchito gawo limodzi la mafunso onsewa - kunyalanyaza mafunso okhudza kugonana payekha, komwe, kachiwiri, kunali ntchito yeniyeni yomwe anali kuyang'anira ndi kusanthula ubongo.
Fe
osokonezeka? Nafenso tili.
Kuphatikiza apo, kuwunikira koyambirira kwamaphunziro oyeserera sikunali kokwanira. Kafukufukuyu adalimbikitsa aliyense amene ananena kuti "ali ndi zolaula" mgulu lomweli. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ena mwa mituyo mwina sanali achiwerewere, pomwe ena mwina anali osuta kwambiri. Chowonjezerapo pa quagmire ndichakuti ofufuzawo adasankha mayeso osiyanasiyana - amuna, akazi, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, komanso ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha - kenako adawawonetsa zifanizo zogonana zogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (pomwe zikuwoneka kuti omwe akuchita nawo zachiwerewere sangayankhe pazithunzi zogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha njira yomweyo). Kuphatikiza apo, maphunziro oyesedwayo adawonetsedwa zithunzi zokhazokha - osatulutsa makanema a HD komanso makanema apawebusayiti omwe akuwonetsa kuti ambiri amagwiritsidwa ntchito.
Kutsutsa kwina ndi kudalira kwa olemba pa ma EEG kuti ayesere ntchito ya ubongo wa munthuyo. Inde, ma EEG ndi chida chothandiza chasayansi, koma pamlingo winawake. Chowonadi ndi chakuti ma EEG amayesa ntchito ya ubongo kuchokera kunja kwa chigaza, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zofanana ndi chida chopanda ubongo. Izi sizotsimikizika kwenikweni poyang'ana momwe madera ambiri a ubongo amagwirira ntchito popanga ndikuwonetsa chilakolako chogonana (mphoto, malingaliro, kukumbukira , kupanga zisankho , ndi zina zotero)
Kotero, mwachidule, phunziro ili silikudziwika bwino, ndi zogwirizana ndi olemba omwe samagwirizana ndi deta.
Ofufuzawo sakusonyeza momveka bwino kuti vutoli sililipo. M'malo mwake, akunena kuti vutoli si chizolowezi ndipo kuti kuliona ngati "chilakolako chachikulu chogonana" kungakhale kolondola kwambiri. Komabe, ofufuzawa sanaphunzire madera omwewo a ubongo kapena kugwiritsa ntchito ukadaulo womwewo womwe udagwiritsidwa ntchito mu kafukufuku wakale wofufuza zizolowezi za machitidwe (makhalidwe). Mu nkhani yomwe idatulutsidwa mu magazini ya Socioaffective Neuroscience and Psychology , Dr. Donald Hilton akufotokoza mwachidule kafukufuku wambiri wa ubongo womwe umapangitsa asayansi kukhulupirira kuti kugonana (ndi njira zina zachilengedwe) kungakhale zizolowezi. Kuti muwunikenso bwino mabuku asayansi awa onani nkhani yake apa . Palibe madera a ubongo omwe adawonedwa mu ntchito ya Dr. Hilton kapena maphunziro omwe adatchula omwe adakambidwa kapena kufufuzidwa mu kafukufuku wotulutsidwa posachedwapa.
N'zosadabwitsa kuti ngakhale kuti maphunzirowa anali osauka, kuwonongedwa kolakwika, komanso zolephera zawo, olembawo anasankha kupanga zolakwika zolakwika ndikufalitsa, ngakhale kutulutsa makina ovomerezeka padziko lonse akupereka "zotsatira" zawo.
Dr. Hilton akunena kuti ife tiri pamphepete mwa kusintha kwa paradigm mu lingaliro lathu la zoledzeretsa. Iye akuti, "Pa nthawi yosinthasintha, mavuto ndi mavuto amakhudza, kuwonetsa kufunikira kwa kusintha kwa nthawiyi. Komabe, pulogalamu yatsopano yatsopano yomwe imagwirizanitsa zowonongeka ku zinthu zonse ndi ndondomeko ikuyamba kudziyesa yokha. "Izi zikutsimikiziridwa ndi kuti mu bukhu la zolemba za PubMed mawu akuti" kugonana "amatchulidwa katatu nthawi zambiri monga wina aliyense nthawi yomwe imalongosola matendawa. Momwemonso zamakono zowonongeka pa TV ndi mbali chabe ya "mavuto ndi zovuta" zomwe zimawonekera panthawi yomwe timasintha?
N’chifukwa chiyani nkhani ziwiri zabwino kwambiri zikatuluka, imodzi yothandizira njira yoledzera ndi ina yoifunsa, atolankhani amalankhula bwino za imodzi ndikusokoneza zomwe akuganiza kuti ndi zodabwitsa? Kodi zotsatira zake ndi zotani kwa odwala zikwizikwi omwe zenizeni zawo zimakanidwa komanso kuthetsedwa? M’zaka za m’ma 1980, anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la kugonana ankauzidwa ndi akatswiri azaumoyo kuti vuto lawo silinalipo. Chabwino, linalipo, ndipo chifukwa chakuti akatswiri azaumoyo sanawathandize adapanga magulu awo othandizira, ndipo tsopano netiweki ya “S-fellowships” imapereka chithandizo chofunikira komanso chaulere kwa anthu zikwizikwi tsiku lililonse. Chifukwa chake ngakhale ife monga asing’anga tingapitirize kutsutsana ngati izi ndi chizolowezi, kukakamizidwa, vuto lolamulira chilakolako , kapena chilakolako chachikulu chogonana, sitiyenera kutsutsana kuti vutoli sililipo. Ndipo atolankhani nawonso sayenera kutsutsana.
Chinthu chofananamo chinachitika ndi uchidakwa kumapeto kwa zaka zana. Kuledzeretsa kwauchidakwa kunawoneka ngati "kulephera kwabwino" komwe kunayambitsidwa ndi "kusowa mphamvu." Zaka zoposa izi zitachitika, pamene tinayamba kumvetsa bwino za matenda ozunguza bongo, zinamveka bwino. Nanga n'chifukwa chiyani anthu amatha kunena kuti akugonjetsa kugonana ndi "schmucks" kusiyana ndi kugwiritsa ntchito paradigm yomwe ili yothandiza?
Choncho, tiyeni tiganizire zotsatira za zizindikiro zathu… Mpaka pano tili ndi chizolowezi chogonana , chilakolako chogonana, vuto lolamulira chilakolako cha kugonana, vuto la khalidwe la hypersexual, khalidwe logonana losalamulirika, khalidwe lovuta la kugonana, ndipo tsopano latsopano: chilakolako chachikulu cha kugonana. Kugwiritsa ntchito chizindikiro cha "chizolowezi chogonana" m'malo mwa zina kuli ndi ubwino wambiri. Choyamba, ndi chilankhulo chomwe makasitomala amalankhula. Makasitomala sabwera kudzalandira chithandizo chifukwa amaganiza kuti ali ndi "vuto la khalidwe la hypersexual," amabwera chifukwa ndi " okonda kugonana ." Chachiwiri, ndi mawu omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito kwambiri ndi madokotala. Chachitatu, pogwiritsa ntchito malingaliro a chizolowezi mungathe kuchepetsa manyazi , kusintha khalidwe, kupereka zinthu zambiri zothandizira, ndikumiza kasitomala m'gulu la othandizira lomwe limaphatikizapo kuyankha ndi kutenga udindo pa khalidwe lake. Mosiyana ndi zimenezi, kodi ife monga akatswiri tingamuthandize bwanji wodwala ndi "chilakolako chake chachikulu cha kugonana"?
Ndipo ndi liti pamene chilakolako chachikulu cha kugonana ndi chiwerewere chimasanduka malingaliro apadera? Mwachidule, kuganiza kuti munthu ali ndi chilakolako chachikulu chogonana sichiletsa kugonana. Ndipotu, kafukufuku amene tatchula pamwambapa sagwirizana ndi lingaliro la kugonana ndi zolemba zambiri zomwe zikugwirizana ndi lingaliro limenelo. Mwanjira iliyonse, mpaka chigamulo chotsimikizika chiripo, tiyeni tigwiritse ku chilembo chimene chiri chothandizira kwambiri (makamaka chifukwa chikuwoneka ngati kuchuluka kwa kafukufuku amene akupezeka kumathandizira pulogalamuyo).
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S ndi Wachiwiri kwa Purezidenti Wamkulu wa Clinical Development ndi Elements Behavioral Health . Wophunzira wa UCLA MSW wovomerezeka komanso wophunzira payekha wa Dr. Patrick Carnes, adayambitsa The Sexual Recovery Institute ku Los Angeles mu 1995. Wapanga mapulogalamu azachipatala ku The Ranch ku Nunnelly, Tennessee , Promises Treatment Centers ku Malibu , ndi Sexual Recovery Institute yomwe yatchulidwa pamwambapa ku Los Angeles. Waperekanso maphunziro azachipatala okhudzana ndi zizolowezi zosiyanasiyana komanso chitukuko cha pulogalamu yaumoyo wamakhalidwe kwa asitikali aku US ndi malo ena ambiri ochiritsira ku United States, Europe, ndi Asia.
Dr. Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D. ndi katswiri wodziwa za mabanja komanso mabanja komanso woyang'anira wovomerezeka ndi AAMFT. Udindo wake waukulu ndi kugwira ntchito ndi odwala ndi mabanja omwe akukumana ndi zizolowezi zosiyanasiyana monga chizolowezi chogonana, matenda odya komanso kudalira mankhwala. Dr. Carnes ndi katswiri wodziwa za chizolowezi chogonana komanso woyang'anira, yemwe amadziwika bwino ndi chithandizo cha mabanja ndi mabanja omwe akukumana ndi chizolowezi chogonana. Pakadali pano, ndi purezidenti wa International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals . Iye ndi wolemba nkhani zambiri zofufuza komanso zofalitsa kuphatikizapo mabuku ake, Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts , Facing Addiction: Starting Recovery from Alcohol and Drugs , ndi Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts.