Magazini ya Sexual Medicine Open Access yangotulutsa pepala lolembedwa ndi Nicole Prause ndi Jim Pfaus lotchedwa “Kuwona Zolimbikitsa Kugonana Zokhudzana ndi Kuyankha Kwakukulu Pakugonana, Osati Kulephera Kugonana.” [i] Iyi sinali kafukufuku wokhudza ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula akudandaula za kulephera kugonana kosalongosoka (ED), ndipo, ngakhale mutu wa kafukufukuyu, palibe mayankho kapena kukhwima kwa mbolo komwe kunayesedwa mu labotale. [ii] M'malo mwake, olembawo adatenga deta kuchokera ku maphunziro anayi oyambirira, omwe palibe omwe adafufuza za ED ngati ntchito yogwiritsa ntchito zolaula sabata iliyonse, kenako "adasanthulanso" deta imeneyo kuti anene za ED ngati ntchito yogwiritsa ntchito zolaula.
Kwenikweni, olemba ntchito yolakwika iyi "adachotsa" anthu omwe adayesedwa kuchokera ku maphunziro anayi osiyana m'magulu atatu: amuna omwe sanali kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula konse, amuna omwe anali kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula maola .01 mpaka 2 pa sabata, ndi amuna omwe anali kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula maola 2.01 kapena kuposerapo pa sabata. Kenako adayerekeza zitinizo ndi mayankho a mafunso osiyanasiyana (osiyana) omwe adasonkhanitsidwa m'maphunziro oyambirira. Mwachidule, anthu omwe adaphunzirawo sanafufuzidwe pogwiritsa ntchito njira yodziwika bwino. Ndipotu, miyeso itatu yosiyana yoyezera kudzuka idagwiritsidwa ntchito, komanso zinthu zitatu zosiyana zogonana (mavidiyo a mphindi zitatu, makanema a masekondi makumi awiri, ndi zithunzi zosasunthika). Ndipo ochepa okha (n=47) mwa amunawo adamaliza kufunsa mafunso okhudza kugwira ntchito kwa erectile. (Chodabwitsa n'chakuti, ziwerengero zawo za erectile-function zidawonetsa kuti amuna ochepa awa, azaka zapakati pa 23, anali ndi ED yofatsa.) Popeza pali kusagwirizana kwakukulu, palibe mgwirizano kapena kusowa kwa mgwirizano, monga momwe Prause ndi Pfaus adanenera, zomwe sizingawunikire kwambiri vuto lenileni: vuto la kugonana lomwe lanenedwa ndi ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula.
Ndipotu, pali kafukufuku wabwino kwambiri wofufuza za vuto la kugonana pakati pa ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula - makamaka ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula kwambiri (kuphatikizapo anthu okonda kugonana/zolaula). Mu kafukufuku wina waposachedwa ku UK wa anthu 350 omwe adadzizindikiritsa okha, 26.7% adanenanso za mavuto okhudzana ndi kugonana. [iii] Kafukufuku wina, wofufuza amuna 24 omwe adagwiritsa ntchito zolaula, adapeza kuti m'modzi mwa 6 (16.7%) adanenanso za vuto la kugonana. [iv] Kafukufuku wina, wofufuza amuna 19 omwe adagwiritsa ntchito zolaula, adapeza kuti 11 (58%) adanenanso kuti anali ndi vuto ndi chilakolako cha kugonana ndi anzawo enieni koma osati ndi zolaula. [v] Nkhani yomaliza iyi, mfundo yakuti ED nthawi zambiri imachitika ndi anzawo enieni koma osati ndi zolaula, ikugwirizana ndi zomwe timawona pochiza anthu omwe adagwiritsa ntchito zolaula m'machitidwe athu amisala. Izi sizikuganiziridwa konse ndi Prause ndi Pfaus.
Kuphatikiza apo, pepala la Prause ndi Pfaus silinanene kuchuluka kwa kugonana komwe kumapangidwa chifukwa cha kuonera zolaula. M'malo mwake, linanenanso kuti kugonana komwe kumawonedwa ndi zolaula kumakhudza chilakolako cha kugonana, zomwe sizikumvetsa bwino kuti chilakolako cha kugonana si chinthu chofanana ndi kuyankha kugonana. Mwachitsanzo, mu kafukufuku wofufuza anthu 19 omwe ali ndi chilakolako cha kugonana, kusanthula ubongo kunawonetsa kuti anthu omwe ali ndi chilakolako cha kugonana anali ndi chilakolako cha kugonana kwambiri (kuyambitsa ubongo) kuposa gulu lolamulira. [vi] Komabe, kugonana ndi mnzanu kunali nkhani ina. Motero, mitu ya nkhani zomwe zimati kafukufuku wa Prause ndi Pfaus akutsimikizira kuti zolaula zingathandize kuti kugonana kukhale bwino ndizolimbikitsa kwambiri.
Mulimonsemo, ofufuza aku Germany apeza kuti mavuto okhudzana ndi zolaula sakugwirizana ndi maola omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito pogwiritsa ntchito zolaula, koma ndi kuchuluka kwa zithunzi/mavidiyo omwe amatsegulidwa panthawi yowonera. [vii] Mwanjira ina, kufunikira kwa zinthu zatsopano, mitundu yatsopano, ndi kusinthasintha kosalekeza kwa zinthu zolimbikitsa n'kofunikira kwambiri kuposa maola ogwiritsira ntchito sabata iliyonse. Olemba kafukufukuyu akuti:
Kugonana kungakhazikitsidwe ku mbali za VSS [zolaula] zomwe sizimasintha mosavuta kukhala zochitika zenizeni za mnzako. Chilakolako chogonana chingakhazikitsidwe ku zinthu zatsopano, kuphatikizapo zithunzi zinazake zogonana, mafilimu enaake ogonana kapena zithunzi zosakhala zogonana. N'zotheka kuti kukhala ndi chilakolako chogonana kwambiri mkati mwa VSS kungayambitse kuchepa kwa mphamvu ya kugonana panthawi yogonana ndi mnzako. Mofananamo, anyamata achichepere omwe amaonera VSS amayembekezera kuti kugonana ndi mnzako kudzachitika ndi mitu yofanana ndi yomwe amaona mu VSS. Chifukwa chake, pamene ziyembekezo zapamwamba zolimbikitsa sizikwaniritsidwa, chilimbikitso chogonana ndi mnzako [sichingapangitse kuti munthu akhazikike]. [viii]
Timavomereza. N'zosakayikitsa kuti ngati ochita kafukufuku akufuna kufufuza zochitika zogonana zokhudzana ndi kugonana, iwo sayenera kuganizira maola ochepa chabe koma pazifukwa zotsatirazi:
- Zaka za ntchito
- Ntchito yoyamba imayamba bwanji
- Chiwerengero cha kukula kwa mitundu yatsopano
- Peresenti ya masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi opanda zolaula
- Zogonana zogonana
Ndikoyeneranso kudziwa kuti pepalali linanena kuti amuna ambiri azaka za ku koleji ankagwiritsa ntchito maola awiri kapena kuchepera pa sabata. Manambalawa ndi osiyana kwambiri ndi kafukufuku omwe alipo. Mwachitsanzo, pofufuza buku lake, Porn University , Michael Leahy adafufuza masukulu opitilira 100 aku koleji, kufunafuna zomwe zikuchitika pakugwiritsa ntchito zolaula, ndipo adapeza kuti 51% yokha ya amuna aku koleji amaonera maola osakwana 5 a zolaula pa sabata. [ix] Pakadali pano, Prause ndi Pfaus akunena kuti 60% ya anthu omwe amayesedwa (81 mwa 136) amaonera zolaula osakwana maola awiri pa sabata. Uku ndi kusiyana kwakukulu, ndipo kumatipangitsa kukayikira kuthekera kwa anthu omwe amayesedwa mu data yomwe adafufuza.
Kwa iwo, Prause ndi Pfaus akuvomereza kuti ntchito yawo ili ndi zofooka, polemba kuti "deta iyi sinaphatikizepo odwala omwe ali ndi vuto la kugonana. Zotsatira zake mwina zimatanthauziridwa bwino ngati zongopeka kwa amuna omwe amagwiritsa ntchito VSS wamba [kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula]." [x] Komabe, izi sizinawalepheretse kunena kuti kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kumagwirizanitsidwa ndi kuyankha kwakukulu pakugonana m'malo mochita zinthu molakwika pakugonana. Kumbukirani, mutu wa kafukufuku wawo ndi "Kuwona Zolimbikitsa Kugonana Zogwirizana ndi Kuyankha Kwakukulu Pakugonana, Osati Kulephera Kugonana." Ngati si uthenga womwe akukankhira, ndiye bwanji osasankha mutu wina?
Sitikukayikira kuti kufufuza kolimba kwa abambo akudandaula za kugonana kosayenera kwa kugonana ndikofunikira kwambiri. Chiwerengero cha amuna omwe ali ndi thanzi labwino, kuphatikizapo amuna omwe akugonana nawo, akuvutika ndi ED mwachindunji chogwirizana ndi kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa intaneti. Ndipo nkhaniyi siyinayambitsedwe kotheratu ndi chizoloŵezi chodziseweretsa maliseche ndi chilakolako (mwachitsanzo, kufunikira kwa nthawi yogonana). Zoonadi, vutoli likugwirizana kwambiri ndi kuti pamene mwamuna amatha kugwiritsa ntchito 70, 80, kapena 90% ya moyo wake wogonana ndi maliseche pamasewera a pa Intaneti - zithunzi zopanda malire zamasewera, zosangalatsa, okondedwa omwe akusintha nthawi zonse ndi zochitika - ali, nthawi, mwinamwake kupeza wokondedwa weniweni wapadziko lapansi osakakamiza kugonana kusiyana ndi zojambula zomwe zikudutsa mu malingaliro ake.
Mpaka kafukufukuyu atadza, tifunika kusamala kuti tisamafotokoze bwino anthu kupanga zosankha zokhudzana ndi kuchuluka kwa zolaula. Ndipotu, panalibe mfundo m'mbiri yathu pamene mowa ndi fodya zinalibe malemba ochenjeza. Ife monga madokotala ndi ofufuza ayenera kukhala akufalitsa uthenga wochenjeza, kapena wolondola kwambiri, kwa anthu.
* Ndi Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S ndi Stefanie Carnes, PhD, CSAT-S
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S ndi Wachiwiri kwa Purezidenti Wamkulu wa Clinical Development ndi Elements Behavioral Health . Wapanga mapulogalamu azachipatala ku The Ranch kunja kwa Nashville, Tennessee, Promises Treatment Centers ku Malibu , ndi The Sexual Recovery Institute ku Los Angeles. Iye ndiye wolemba mabuku ambiri, kuphatikizapo buku laposachedwa la Always Turned On: Sex Addiction in the Digital Age lomwe linalembedwa ndi Dr. Jennifer Schneider. Kuti mudziwe zambiri, mutha kupita patsamba lake lawebusayiti, www.robertweissmsw.com/.
Stefanie Carnes , PhD, CSAT-S anakhala purezidenti wa International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals mu Novembala, 2010. Iye ndi katswiri wodziwa za ukwati ndi mabanja komanso woyang'anira wovomerezeka ndi AAMFT . Amalankhula nthawi zonse pamisonkhano yadziko lonse. Udindo wake ndi kugwira ntchito ndi odwala ndi mabanja omwe akukumana ndi zizolowezi zosiyanasiyana, monga chizolowezi chogonana, matenda odya komanso kudalira mankhwala. Iye ndi wolemba mabuku angapo, kuphatikizapo Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts.
[i] Prause, N., & Pfaus, J. (2015). "Kuwona zolimbikitsa kugonana zomwe zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi kuyankha kwakukulu kwa kugonana, osati kulephera kugwira ntchito kwa erectile." Mankhwala Ogonana Otseguka.
[ii] "Palibe deta yokhudzana ndi momwe ziwalo zoberekera zimayankhira zomwe zidaphatikizidwa kuti zithandizire zomwe amuna adadzinenera okha." (tsamba 7 la Prause and Pfaus, 2015).
[iii] Hall, P. (2012). Kumvetsetsa ndi kuchiza chizolowezi chogonana: Buku lothandizira anthu omwe akulimbana ndi chizolowezi chogonana komanso omwe akufuna kuwathandiza . Routledge.
[iv] Raymond, NC, Coleman, E., & Miner, MH (2003). Matenda amisala komanso makhalidwe okakamiza/osakhazikika pa khalidwe logonana lokakamiza. Comprehensive Psychiatry , 44 (5), 370-380.