Ndasankha fanizo la zipatso zabodza pofotokoza nkhani yaposachedwa ya Prause ndi Pfaus yotchedwa Kuwona Zolimbikitsa Zogonana Zogwirizana ndi Kuyankha Kwakukulu kwa Kugonana, Osati Kulephera Kugonana. Sindinachite izi chifukwa cha chizindikiro chilichonse cha mbolo ndi nthochi koma chifukwa olembawo akupereka malingaliro abodza. Lofalitsidwa mu magazini ya pa intaneti ya Sexual Medicine (04/2015; DOI: 10.1002/sm2.58) nkhaniyi ikuwoneka kuti ikupereka kuphatikiza kwa zomwe Prause adayesa kale pa kafukufuku wa zolaula. Mukayang'anitsitsa nkhaniyi, yapezeka kuti ilibe tanthauzo lenileni.
Malingana ndi mayesero amenewa, olembawo amapereka zifukwa zosadziwika kuti zolaula ndizosavulaza ndipo ziyenera kuyamikiridwa ngati chakudya chogonana. Izi zikugwirizana ndi "chigamulo" chawo choyambirira chomwe chizoloŵezi cha kugonana sichinaliko, ndipo kuti anthu ena amafunikira zambiri zabwino.
Wolemba wotsogola wapangitsa kuti nkhondo yake isokoneze lingaliro loti zolaula komanso zikhalidwe zakugonana zitha kukhala zosokoneza bongo. M'malo ochezera a pa Intaneti adachita kukhala siginecha yake kuti azitchula zakugonana ngati "zopanda pake". Koma kafukufuku wake wonse amakhala ndi njira yofananira. Amatenga zambiri zokayikitsa potengera njira zofufuzira za lousy ndikulengeza za kugwedeza, ngati sikugwirizana, kupeza.
Ndimakhala ngati ndimamvetsetsa izi. Chowonadi chakuti kafukufuku woyipa amalephera kuwonetsa kulumikizana kwa zinthu ziwiri sizongokhala zopanda tanthauzo, ndizosangalatsa. Ngati mukufuna kutenga mitu yankhani, simunganene kuti "Palibe Mgwirizano Wodalirika Wopezeka Pakati pa Zithunzi Zakale za Anthu Ena Kuwona M'labu ndi Kudziona Kuti Mumakonda Kugonana!" Izi zitha kumveka zosangalatsa monga mutu wankhani ku Pan-Arabia Enquirer: "Zisangalalo zathamangira ku Expat Pambuyo pa Mapulani a Brunch!"
Choncho pakadali pano mutuwu umasokoneza "kupeza" kuti zolaula zimakhala zabwino kwa kugonana kwanu, zomwe sizothandiza ngati zimakhala zosangalatsa. Pakhala pali zifukwa zowonjezera komanso zochititsa chidwi za kafufuzidwe kameneka potsata zomwe deta izi zikuyimira komanso kuti palibe zifukwa za mtundu uliwonse zomwe zingachokere kwa iwo. Zero.
Kulengeza kuti izi ndi kafukufuku wasayansi ndi wofufuza wa UCLA zomwe zikutsimikizira chilichonse chokhudza zolaula ndizolakwika pamitundu yonse. Ndizolakwika kwambiri kuti tisatchulidwe asayansi momwe mudzawonere ngati mungayang'ane pamndandanda womwe watchulidwa pansipa. Siphunziro kwenikweni, koma kuyesayesa kwa meta-kusanthula magawo am'mbuyomu. Ndipo pali mafunso okhudza ngati izi zitha kuphatikizidwa mwanjira iliyonse; chifukwa chake amatchedwa "pepala loyera". Pomaliza, ngakhale kuti izi zimachokera kuntchito ya Dr. Prause ku UCLA, maubwenzi ake akale ndi bungweli akuwoneka kuti atha.
Kafukufuku wodziwika kuti ndi kafukufukuyu wathetsedwa ndi Dr. Rick Isenberg MD, Mtsogoleri wa Uro-Gynecology Interim Exec, American Foundation for Addiction Research, yemwe walemba ndemanga yayitali kwa akonzi a magaziniyi ndipo wanena payekha kuti akudabwa kuti owunikira anzawo oyenerera angaone kuti kafukufukuyu ndi wodalirika woyenera kufalitsidwa. Kafukufukuyu watengedwa m'mawu osavuta komanso omveka bwino m'nkhani ya Gabe Deem. Kafukufuku wochirikiza ulalo wa zolaula-ED wafotokozedwa mu Your Brain on Porn. Nkhani yaposachedwa ya Prause yatsutsidwanso kwambiri m'nkhani yotsatira ya Rob Weiss LCSW ndi Dr. Stefanie Carnes. Palibe m'modzi mwa otsutsa awa amene ali ndi tsankho la malingaliro, ngakhale onse amakhulupirira, kutengera kafukufuku wokulirakulira komanso zomwe adakumana nazo kuchipatala, kuti kugonana ndi zolaula zimatha kukhala zosokoneza komanso kuti zolaula za pa intaneti zimakhala ndi zoopsa zina zomwe zingadziwike.
Pali akatswiri ena omwe amati zolaula zitha kuthandiza odwala ena kuthana ndi vuto lawo logonana. Koma ngakhale zili choncho, zilibe kanthu kuti zolaula zitha kukhala zosokoneza komanso zovulaza. Malingaliro awiriwa akuyenera kufufuzidwa padera chifukwa chowonadi kapena chabodza cha chimodzi sichitsimikizira kapena kutsutsa china.
Ngati mwakhala mukutsutsana ndi mkangano wonsewu, mutha kuona kuti pali chinthu china chomwe chikuwopsya. Zithunzi zolaula zingakukhulupirire kuti madokotala ndi mabungwe omwe amagwira ntchito ndi kugonana ndi olaula amakhala mmenemo chifukwa cha ndalamazo. Koma ambiri a ife omwe timachita ntchitoyi sikuti ndife olemera.
Ndani akulemera ? Makampani opanga zolaula pa intaneti. Ndipo makampani akuluakulu ndi mapulogalamu ena okhudzana ndi intaneti amafunafuna olemba ndi ofufuza omwe angakhale okonzeka kulemba zinthu zomwe zikugwirizana ndi zomwe amakonda. Ndikudziwa izi chifukwa ndinafikiridwa ndi kampani yodziwika bwino yolumikizana pa intaneti kuti ndidziwe ngati ndingakhale wokonzeka kufotokoza zomwe zapezeka zomwe zikugwirizana ndi iwo polemba.
Kugwirizana pakati pa kukula ndi mphamvu ya makampani opanga zolaula ndi gulu la mankhwala osokoneza bongo sikupikisana. Ngati zolaula ndi nkhani yaikulu, ndiye kuti chithandizo cha mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi nkhani yofunika kwambiri. Izi ndi zoona ngakhale kuti kufunikira kwa chithandizo chamankhwala ndi uphungu kukupitirira kukula (onaninso positi yanga ya Sex Addict ndi Yeniyeni: Ingofunsani Wokonda Kugonana). Kodi ndikunena kuti mtundu wa chinyengo chomwe ofufuza a zolaula amafalitsa umagulidwa ndikulipidwa? Ayi. Sindikudziwa komwe ndalamazo zimachokera. Ndipo sindikudziwa momwe nkhani yotereyi imadutsa owunikira mu magazini yodziwika bwino. Koma pankhaniyi zotsatira zake zimakhala zachinyengo komanso zovulaza mosasamala kanthu za cholinga.