Zochepa: “Tili pakati pa kusintha kwa zilakolako zogonana ndi zachikondi mosiyana ndi zina zilizonse m'mbiri, kuyesa kwachikhalidwe komwe kukuchitika pa ana ndi achinyamata… Zomwe madokotala sakudziwa zambiri, komabe, ndi momwe tidzathandizire achinyamata, omwe zilakolako zawo zogonana zikukhudzidwa ndi zolaula, chifukwa kuchuluka kwa zolaula kumeneku ndi kwatsopano. Kodi zilakolako ndi zilakolako izi zidzakhala zopanda pake? Kapena kodi zochitika zatsopano zolaula zidzalowa mkati mwawo chifukwa zaka zaunyamata zidakali nthawi yophunzira?”
6 Julayi 2014 - Ulalo wa nkhani yoyambirira ya magazini yolembedwa ndi Norman Doidge
Tili pakati pa kusintha kwa zilakolako za kugonana ndi zachikondi zomwe sizinachitikepo m'mbiri yonse, kuyesa kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu komwe kukuchitika pa ana ndi achinyamata, komwe kunajambulidwa mu gawo lamphamvu komanso lokhudza mtima mu filimu yaposachedwa ya ku Britain ya InRealLife, yokhudza momwe intaneti imakhudzira achinyamata, yotsogozedwa ndi Baroness Beeban Kidron.
Mufilimuyi, mwana wamwamuna wa 15 wazaka zapadera akufotokozera zomwe zikuchitika m'miyoyo ya mamiliyoni achinyamata anyamata, omwe amakonda kugonana ndiwopangidwa ndi 24 / 7 kupeza zolaula pa intaneti. Amalongosola momwe zithunzi zolaula zakhalira "moyo weniweni" wa kugonana:
"Iwe ungayesere mtsikana ndi kupeza chithunzi chabwino cha zomwe iwe wawayang'ana pa intaneti ... iwe ungafune kuti akhale chimodzimodzi ndi zomwe iwe wawona pa intaneti ... Ndine wothokoza kwambiri kwa aliyense yemwe anapanga masamba awa , ndikuti iwo ali mfulu, koma muzinthu zina zawononga chikondi chonse. Zimandipweteka chifukwa ndikupeza kuti ndizovuta kuti ndipeze kugwirizana kwa mtsikana. "
Chomwe chimapweteka kwambiri pa zochitikazo, ndi momwe iye aliri wamng'ono adapeza kuti zofuna zake za kugonana ndi zokonda zapakati zakhala zikulekanitsidwa wina ndi mzake. Panthawiyi, timaphunzira kuchokera ku mafilimu ena ndi ena omwe asungwana omwe angathe kukhala nawo anyamata, "mwawawombola" chiyembekezo chakuti iwo amavomereza "maudindo" olembedwa ndi ojambula zithunzi.
Mavuto a mwanayo akuimira chimodzi mwa zovuta za zolaula. Chifukwa chiyani ziyenera kuti zimamuvuta kuti atsegulidwe ndi mtsikana, osati mosavuta? Nthaŵi ina, zolaula zinagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi achinyamata kuti afufuze, kukonzekera ndi kuthetseratu kugonana, poyembekezera kugonana kwenikweni. Masiku ano, pali zina zokhudzana ndi zolaula zomwe zimayambitsa zolaula kuti zisakonzekeretse munthu kugonana, koma m'malo mwake. Achinyamata ambiri amatha kunena kuti amasankha kugonana ndi ubale ndi anthu, ndi mavuto awo onse. Mwinamwake izi ndizokumenyana kwa anyamata, ochepa mu ulamuliro wolamulira, osakhoza "kupeza" msungwana. Koma ena, monga achinyamata omwe ali mufilimuyi, amapeza kuti ngakhale atha kukhala "mtsikana", atero, kugonana kwawo "sikugwira ntchito".
Dandaulo la mnyamatayo linali lodziwika bwino, ngakhale kuti linali lopotoza. M'katikati mwa 1990s I, ndi azinthu ena a maganizo, anayamba kuzindikira chitsanzo ichi. Chitsanzochi chikhoza kukhala mwamuna wachikulire, mwamtendere, yemwe adafotokoza kuti akufuna kudziwa zolaula pa intaneti yoopsa. Malo ambiri omwe iye adawapeza osasangalatsa, koma posakhalitsa adawona angapo omwe adam'kondweretsa mpaka anayamba kuwalakalaka. Pamene ankagwiritsa ntchito zolaula, ndiye kuti ankafuna kwambiri. Vuto silinali nthawi yokhazikika pa intaneti. Iye anali atapeza kale kukoma kwa mtundu wa zolaula zomwe, mwakukulu kapena pang'ono, pomalizira pake zinakhudza maubwenzi ake ndi kugonana kwake. Mwamuna uyu sanali mwana weniweni, wosasokonezeka, kapena kuchoka padziko lonse lapansi kuti adziwe zolaula zomwe zinkakhala m'malo mwa ubale ndi amayi enieni. Kawirikawiri amuna oterewa anali okondweretsa, oganiziridwa, komanso ogwirizana bwino kapena maukwati. Komanso sanakhale ndi zizolowezi zoledzeretsa. Kawirikawiri, mwamunayo anganene kuti akuvutika, kuti adzigwiritsa ntchito nthawi yambiri pa intaneti, akuwona zolaula ndi maliseche.
Koma chochititsa chidwi kwambiri chinali malipoti awo, pafupifupi m'kanthawi kochepa, okhudza vuto lawo lowonjezereka loti azikumana ndi anzawo enieni ogonana nawo, akazi kapena atsikana, ngakhale kuti ankawaonabe ngati okongola. Nditawafunsa ngati izi zinali ndi ubale uliwonse ndi kuonera zolaula, anayankha kuti poyamba zinkawathandiza kukhala osangalala kwambiri panthawi yogonana koma pakapita nthawi zinali ndi zotsatira zosiyana. Tsopano, m'malo mogwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zawo kuti azisangalala ndi kukhala pabedi, pakadali pano, ndi anzawo, kupanga chibwenzi kunawafuna kwambiri kuti aziganiza kuti anali mbali ya script ya zolaula. Ena - monga mnyamata wachinyamata mu InRealLife - anayesa kukakamiza okondedwa awo kuti azichita ngati nyenyezi za zolaula, ndipo anali ndi chidwi chofuna "kugonana" m'malo mongofuna "kugonana". Moyo wawo wongoganizira za kugonana unali wolamulidwa kwambiri ndi zochitika zomwe, titero kunena kwake, anali kuzitsitsa muubongo wawo, ndipo zolemba zatsopanozi nthawi zambiri zinali zachikale komanso zachiwawa kuposa malingaliro awo akale ogonana. Ndinapeza lingaliro lakuti luso lililonse logonana lomwe amuna awa anali nalo linali kutha ndipo anali kuyamba kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa intaneti. Koma mosiyana ndi anyamata achinyamata, omwe amakonda kugonana chifukwa cha zolaula, amunawa anali ndi zokumana nazo zakale zoti abwerere nazo. Anyamata a masiku ano sachita zimenezi, ndipo iyi ndi njira yodziwira chikhalidwe cha anthu yomwe nkhaniyi idzayesa kuwunikira.
Lingaliro lakuti zokonda za kugonana zingakhale zikuuluka, kwa ena, mosiyana ndi nzeru zamaganizo, ndi mkangano wopangidwa ndi akatswiri a maganizo a zamoyo, zomwe zimanena kuti chilakolako chogonana chinachokera ku chisinthiko, chosasinthika kwa zaka mazana masauzande, mwachindunji chifukwa ubongo, ndi kayendedwe kawo ndi ntchito yake - wiring "yake - sizinasinthike nthawi zonse. Komabe, tazindikira posachedwapa kuti ubongo sukhoza kusintha, koma kuti ukugwira ntchito mwa kusintha. Mawu oti malo omwe amalola ubongo kusintha kapangidwe kawo ndi ntchito yake ndi "neuroplasticity", ndipo imasintha poyankha kuwona kwa maganizo. "Neuro" ndi ya neuron, ndipo "pulasitiki" amatanthawuza pulasitiki mwakuya kosasinthika, kusintha, kosinthika. Akatswiri a sayansi ya zamoyo ndi olondola kuti mbali zazikulu za ubongo wathu zimakhala ngati za makolo akale; koma nthawi zambiri amasiya kuti mphatso yayikulu kwambiri yochokera kwa makolo athu, chinthu chodziwika bwino kwambiri cha ubongo wa munthu, ndi kukula kwake kwa pulasitiki.
Kusinthasintha kwa mpweya kumapitirirabe pa mlingo wazing'ono, mkati mwa ubongo, mu neurons. Koma ngakhale patapita nthaŵi yaitali asanatuluke m'mitsempha, owona mosamala amamvetsa kuti anthu amawonetsa pulojekiti yambiri yogonana poyerekeza ndi zolengedwa zina. Timasiyana ndi zomwe timakonda kuchita ndi abwenzi athu pazochitika zogonana. Timasiyana mosiyana ndi matupi athu omwe timakhala ndi chisangalalo chokhudzana ndi kugonana. Koma koposa zonse ife timasiyanasiyana ndi ndani kapena zomwe timakopeka nazo. Nthawi zambiri anthu amati amapeza "mtundu" weniweni wokongola, kapena "kutembenuka", ndipo mitunduyi imasiyanasiyana kwambiri ndi munthu.
Kwa ena, mtunduwo umasintha pamene akuyenda nthawi zosiyanasiyana ndikukhala ndi zatsopano. Mwamuna wina yemwe amagonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ankagonana ndi amuna a mtundu umodzi kapena mtundu wina, ndiye kuti anali ndi anthu ena, ndipo nthawi iliyonse amatha kukopeka ndi amuna omwe anali "otentha" panopa. Pambuyo pa nthawi ina, sakanakhoza kukopeka ndi mwamuna wochokera ku gulu lakale kachiwiri. Anapeza kukoma kwa "mitundu "yi mwatsatanetsatane ndipo adawoneka kuti akuphwanyidwa ndi gulu la munthuyo kapena mtundu wake (mwachitsanzo," Asians "kapena" Afirika-Amwenye ") kusiyana ndi munthu. Mapulasitiki a chilakolako cha kugonana kwa munthu uyu amachulukitsa choonadi chonse: kuti libido yaumunthu si yowopsya, yowopsa koma imatha kusintha mosavuta, ndikusintha mosavuta ndi psychology yathu ndi mbiri ya kugonana kwathu. Ndipo libido yathu ikhozanso kukhala yochuluka. Zolemba zambiri za sayansi zimatanthauzira mosiyana ndi kuwonetsera chikhalidwe cha kugonana ngati chofunikira, chizolowezi chosowa njala, nthawi zonse chokhutiritsa - wosusuka, osati wolemera. Koma anthu ali ngati zowawa ndipo amakopeka ndi mitundu ndipo amakhala ndi zokonda; kukhala ndi "mtundu" kumatipangitsa kukhala osakhutira mpaka titapeza zomwe tikuyembekezera, chifukwa kukopa kwa mtundu wina ndi kovuta: munthu yemwe "atsegulidwa ndi blondes" akhoza kuchotsa ma brunettes ndi redheads.
Koma pulasitiki yakugonana imapitilira patsogolo. Achifetisisi amafuna zinthu zopanda moyo. Wachimuna wamwamuna amatha kukhala wokondwa kwambiri ndi nsapato zazitali zazitali zokhala ndi ubweya waubweya, kapena ndi zovala zamkati zazimayi, kuposa mkazi weniweni. Anthu ena amawoneka kuti samakopeka kwenikweni ndi anthu koma zolemba zovuta zogonana, pomwe anzawo amatenga mbali, kuphatikiza zolakwika zosiyanasiyana, kuphatikiza nkhanza, masochism, voyeurism ndi chiwonetsero. Akayika zotsatsa pamasom'pamaso, malongosoledwe azomwe akufuna kwa wokondedwa nthawi zambiri zimamveka ngati malongosoledwe antchito kuposa omwe angafune kudziwa. Ndizomveka kufunsa ngati mapulasitiki athu ogonana komanso achikondi amakhudzana ndi neuroplasticity. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti neuroplasticity ilipo muubongo wonse. Kapangidwe kaubongo kamene kamayang'anira machitidwe achibadwa, kuphatikiza kugonana, kotchedwa hypothalamus, ndi pulasitiki, monga amygdala, kapangidwe kamene kamayambitsa nkhawa. Kutsekemera kwa m'mimba sikuli, monga ena amaganizira poyamba, kumenyedwa m'malo ena "okwezeka" aubongo omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito pamaganizidwe ovuta. Zowonadi, ngati dongosolo limodzi laubongo lisintha, machitidwe omwe amalumikizidwa nalo ayenera kusintha nawonso. Ubongo umakhala ngati minofu kuposa momwe timaganizira: ndiubongo wogwiritsa ntchito-kapena-kutaya-ubongo. Ngati sitigwiritsa ntchito magulu athu pamaganizidwe amodzi, chifukwa ntchitoyi yagwiritsidwanso ntchito, oyendera omwe tidagwiritsa ntchito pamapeto pake adzakwaniritsa zomwe tikuchita. Kupeza kwina kwakukulu ndikuti tikaphunzira timapanga kulumikizana kwatsopano pakati pa ma neuron, kutengera nthawi. "Ma Neurons omwe amayaka pamodzi waya." Chifukwa chake titengapo gawo losavuta la kuphunzira kwa Pavlovian, ngati tiimba belu kangapo nyama isanapatsidwe galu, posakhalitsa ma neuron omwe amalembetsa kulira kwa belu amalumikizidwa ndi ma neuron omwe amayambitsa kutsamwa. Chotsatira tikudziwa, kulira kwa belu kumangotsogolera ku malovu, nyama kapena nyama. Ngati nthawi iliyonse mnyamatayo atagwiritsa ntchito intaneti, amatengera zithunzi zogonana, posachedwa, makompyuta omwewo amatha kukhala "ogonana", okonda zachiwerewere, monga tionere, ngati chinthu chogonana. "Zoyambitsa zakugonana", a Freud adalemba, ife chifukwa cha pulasitiki, kuthekera kwawo kusintha zolinga zawo. ” Freud sanali woyamba kunena kuti kugonana ndi pulasitiki - Plato, pokambirana za chikondi, adati Eros yaumunthu idatenga mitundu yambiri - koma Freud adakhazikitsa maziko azamvetsetsa zamaganizidwe azakugonana komanso achikondi.
Chinthu chimodzi chofunika kwambiri chinali kupeza kwake kwa nthawi yovuta kwambiri yopanga mankhwala opatsirana pogonana. Freud anatsutsa kuti munthu wamkulu angathe kukonda kwambiri komanso kugonana mwa magawo, kuyambira pachiyambi choyamba cha mwanayo kwa makolo ake. Anaphunzira kuchokera kwa odwala ake, komanso pakuwona ana, kuti msinkhu, osati msinkhu, anali nthawi yoyamba yokhudzana ndi kugonana ndi chibwenzi, ndipo ana amatha kukonda kwambiri, kugonana, kugonana, komanso kugonana chisangalalo. Freud anapeza kuti kugwiriridwa kwa ana ndi kovulaza chifukwa kumakhudza nthawi yovuta yokhudza kugonana muubwana, nthawi zina kumagwiritsa ntchito zokopa zathu ndikuganiza za kugonana. Cholinga cha nthawi yovutayi chinapangidwa ndi obadwa m'mimba omwe anawona kuti m'kati mwa mitsempha dongosolo la mitsempha limayamba pang'onopang'ono, ndipo ngati izi zimasokonezeka, nyama kapena munthu adzavulazidwa, kawirikawiri, mwachisawawa, kwa moyo. Freud adawonanso magawo amenewa atatha kubadwa. Chimene Freud adanena panthawi yoyamba ya chitukuko cha kugonana chikugwirizana ndi zomwe timadziwa za nthawi zovuta. Zili ndi mawindo afupipafupi pamene machitidwe atsopano a ubongo ndi mapu akukula mothandizidwa ndi kulimbikitsidwa ndi anthu omwe ali kumalo ena.
Zotsatira za chikondi chaubwana mu chikondi chachikulu ndi kugonana zimapezeka m'makhalidwe a tsiku ndi tsiku. Pamene akuluakulu mu chikhalidwe chathu ali ndi chikondi chambiri, kapena amasonyeza kupembedza kwawo kochepetsedwa, nthawi zambiri amatcha "mwana" kapena "mwana". Amagwiritsa ntchito mawu omwe amayi awo amawagwiritsa ntchito monga ana, monga "uchi" ndi "pie sweetie", mawu omwe amachititsa miyezi yoyambirira ya moyo pamene mayi adayankhula chikondi chake mwa kudyetsa, kumukakamiza, ndi kulankhula momasuka kwa mwanayo - kodi Freud adatchula chiganizo chotani, nthawi yoyamba yokhudzana ndi kugonana, zomwe zimaphatikizapo mwachidule m'mawu akuti "chitsimikizo" ndi "kudyetsa". Kukondedwa, kusamalidwa ndi kudyetsedwa kumagwirizanitsa maganizo m'maganizo komanso kuthandizana pamodzi muubongo muzochitika zathu zoyambirira zobereka pambuyo pobadwa,
Pamene akuluakulu amalankhulirana ana, ali, monga mwa Freud, "kugwedezeka", kuchoka ku maganizo okhwima maganizo okhudzana ndi magawo oyambirira a moyo. Malingana ndi mapulasitiki, kuponderezedwa koteroko, ndikukhulupirira, kumaphatikizapo kufotokoza njira zakale za neuronal zomwe zimayambitsa mayanjano onse a poyamba. Kugonjetsa kungakhale kosangalatsa komanso kopanda phindu, monga momwe zimakhalira zakale, kapena kungakhale kovuta, monga momwe zing'onozing'ono zing'onozing'ono zimayendera ndipo munthu wamkulu amakwiya kwambiri.
Ngakhale "kulankhula mosasamala" kumasonyeza momwe mwana amaonera zamaliseche, ndipo kwa omwe lingaliro lakuti Amayi alola kuti abambo alowe mu dzenje lomwe liri pafupi kwambiri ndi pansi pake, amagwiritsidwa ntchito pofuna kutetezera, ndizoseketsa . Paunyamata pambuyo pa nthawi yovuta ya pulasitiki yokhudzana ndi kugonana, ubongo umayambitsanso kachiwiri, kotero kuti zosangalatsa za kugonana zimakhala zazikulu mokwanira kuti zisawonongeke zonyansa zilizonse.
Freud anatsimikizira kuti zinsinsi zambiri zogonana zingamveke ngati zovuta kwambiri. Pambuyo pa Freud, sitidadodometsa kuti mtsikana amene bambo ake anamusiya ali mwana amatha kupeza amuna osakwanira kuti akhale bambo ake, okha, chifukwa, pokhala opanda chifundo pa nthawi yovuta, mbali yonse ya ubongo wawo inalephera. Ndipo zopotoka zambiri zingathe kufotokozedwa monga pulasitiki ndi kupitiriza kwa mikangano ya ana. "Amayi omwe ndimakonda F-ck" kapena "MILF" (mwachitsanzo pamene akusewera masewera a pakompyuta mnyamata amanyenga ndi amayi ake apamtima) Freud anganene kuti, ndi zitsanzo zomwe anthu ambiri alibe zovuta zothetsera Oedipus - ndipo anyamata ambiri ali ovomerezeka kwambiri ndi "amayi" kuposa momwe akudziwira mosamala. ("MILF" pamodzi ndi "Teen" ndizofufuza zolimbitsa thupi zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito, malinga ndi PornHub ndi phunziro la Lucia O'Sullivan wochokera ku yunivesite ya New Brunswick.)
Koma mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti nthawi zathu zovuta timatha kukonda zolaula ndi chikondi zomwe zimatengera ubongo wathu ndipo zimatha kukhala ndi mphamvu pa moyo wathu wonse. Ndipo mfundo yakuti tikhoza kukhala ndi zolaula zosiyana zogonana zimapangitsa kuti pakhale kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa kugonana pakati pathu.
Lingaliro lakuti nthawi yovuta ikuthandizira kugonana kwa anthu akuluakulu amatsutsana ndi zomwe zanenedwa zodziwika kuti zomwe zimatikopa sizinthu zopangidwa ndi mbiriyakale yathu, koma zimangokhala zotsatira za biology yathu yamba. Zitsanzo ndi nyenyezi za mafilimu, mwachitsanzo - zimawonedwa ngati zokongola kapena zakusangalatsa. Bungwe lina lachilengedwe limatiphunzitsa kuti anthu ena ndi okongola chifukwa amasonyeza zizindikiro zowonjezera, zomwe zimalonjeza kuti chonde ndi mphamvu zake: zizindikiro zomveka bwino ndi zofanana zimatanthauza kuti wokwatirana naye sangakhale ndi matenda; chiwerengero cha hourglass ndi chizindikiro kuti mkazi ali ndi chonde; minofu ya munthu imalosera kuti adzatha kuteteza mkazi ndi ana ake.
Koma izi zimapangitsa kuti zinthu zikhale zosavuta zomwe biology imaphunzitsa. Si aliyense amene amakonda thupi, monga momwe mkazi amanenera kuti, “Ndinadziwa, nditamva mawu amenewo koyamba, kuti anali chifukwa cha ine,” nyimbo ya mawuwo mwina imasonyeza bwino mzimu wa mwamuna kuposa nkhope ya thupi lake. Ndipo kukoma kwa kugonana kwasintha kwa zaka mazana ambiri. Kukongola kwa Rubens kunali kwakukulu malinga ndi miyezo ya masiku ano, ndipo kwa zaka makumi ambiri ziwerengero zofunika za Playboy centrefolds ndi mafashoni zakhala zikusiyana kuyambira pa kukonda kwambiri mpaka pa kukonda kugonana. Kukoma kwa kugonana kumakhudzidwa ndi chikhalidwe ndi zomwe zachitika ndipo nthawi zambiri kumapezeka kenako n’kulowetsedwa muubongo.
"Zosangalatsa zomwe mwazipeza" ndikutanthauzira kuphunzira, mosiyana ndi "zokonda", zomwe zabadwa. Mwana samayenera kupeza kukoma kwa mkaka, madzi, kapena maswiti; izi nthawi yomweyo zimawoneka zosangalatsa. Zosangalatsa zomwe zimapezeka poyamba zimakhala zosakondwera kapena zosakondeka koma kenako zimakhala zokoma - zonunkhira za tchizi, bitters za ku Italiya, vinyo wouma, khofi, pâtés, ndi mkodzo mu impso yokazinga. Zozizwitsa zambiri zomwe anthu amalipira kwambiri, kuti ayenera "kukhala ndi chilakolako", ndiwo zakudya zomwe zimawadetsa ngati ana.
Mu nthawi ya Elizabetani okondedwa ankakondwera kwambiri ndi zofukiza za thupi kuti zimakhala zachilendo kuti mkazi apange apulo losakanizika m'mimba mwake kufikira atatuluka thukuta ndi fungo lake. Amapereka "apulo wachikondi" kwa wokondedwa wake kuti aziwombera pamene alibe. Ife, mosiyana, timagwiritsa ntchito zonunkhira zopangidwa ndi zipatso ndi maluwa kuti tizimitse fungo lathu kuchokera kwa okondedwa athu. Zosangalatsa zambiri zomwe timaganiza kuti "zachirengedwe" zimapezeka mwa kuphunzira ndikukhala "chikhalidwe chachiwiri" kwa ife. Sitingathe kusiyanitsa "chikhalidwe chathu chachiwiri" kuchokera ku "chiyambi" chathu chifukwa ubongo wathu wa neuroplastiki, womwe unabwereranso, umakhala ndi chikhalidwe chatsopano, chokhacho monga chiyambi chathu.
Zithunzi zolaula zimawoneka, poyamba, kukhala chinthu chenichenicho, ndipo zikuwoneka kuti palibe chomwe chinapezedwa pa izo; zithunzi zolaula, za anthu omwe ali ndi chikhalidwe chawo, chibwibwi, zimayambitsa mayankho enieni, zomwe zimapangidwa ndi mamiliyoni a zaka zamoyo. Komanso, chidwi cha amuna aamuna amtundu wina, chotchedwa "Coolidge effect", chikuwoneka ngati gawo la chisinthiko chathu. Koma ngati zonsezo zinalipo, zolaula sizidzakhala zosasintha, kupatulapo kuti amuna angafune atsopano. Zomwe zimayambitsa, ziwalo za thupi ndi maonekedwe awo, zomwe zidakondweretsa makolo athu zimatikondweretsa. Izi ndi zomwe ojambula zithunzi amatipangitsa kukhulupirira, chifukwa amati akulimbana ndi chiwerewere, mantha ndi mantha, ndipo cholinga chawo ndi kumasula zachilengedwe, zachiwerewere.
Koma zowona zolaula ndizochitika zozizwitsa zomwe zikuwonetseratu kupititsa patsogolo kwa kukoma. Zaka makumi atatu zapitazo "zolaula zovuta" nthawi zambiri zimatanthauza kufotokoza momveka bwino kugonana pakati pa anthu awiri omwe adakwatirana nawo, poonetsa maubwenzi awo. "Softcore" amatanthawuza zithunzi za amayi, makamaka, pa kama, pa chimbudzi chawo, kapena m'madera ena achikondi, m'madera osiyanasiyana ochepetsera, mabere amavumbulutsidwa.
Tsopano hardcore yasintha ndipo yowonjezereka ikulamulidwa ndi mitu ya sadomasochistic ya kugonana kolimbikitsidwa, ejaculations pa nkhope za akazi ndi kugonana kwaukali wamwano, zonse zokhudzana ndi zolemba zokhudzana kugonana ndi chidani ndi manyazi. Zithunzi zolaula tsopano zikufufuza dziko lonse lachinyengo, pomwe softcore tsopano ndi yovuta zaka makumi angapo zapitazo, kugonana kosavuta pakati pa akuluakulu, omwe tsopano akupezeka pa TV chingwe. Zomwe zimakhala zofanana ndi zofewa zojambula zakale - akazi m'mayiko osiyanasiyana ofotokozera - tsopano zikuwonetsedwa pazinthu zosawerengeka tsiku lonse, pa zolaula za chirichonse, kuphatikizapo TV, mavidiyo a rock, sopo, malonda ndi zina zotero.
Kukula kwa zolaula kwakhala kopambana; Ndilo chifukwa chachichina chomwe anthu amapereka chifukwa chopita pa intaneti. Kufufuza kwa MSNBC.com kwa owona mu 2001 kunawona kuti 80 peresenti amamva kuti akugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yochuluka pa zolaula zomwe akuika maubwenzi awo kapena ntchito zawo pangozi.
Kusinthika ine ndi azinthu ena aumoyo omwe tawona sikunali kokha kwa anthu owerengeka ochiritsira. Kusintha kwa chikhalidwe kunayamba kuchitika mu 1990s, pozungulira momwe lingaliro la "zolaula" linamvedwera. Ngakhale m'mbuyomo nthawi zambiri zakhala zovuta kupeza zambiri zokhudza zochitika za kugonana paokha, izi sizinali choncho ndi zolaula panthawi imeneyo, makamaka chifukwa chakuti zolaula zimakhala zosaoneka ngati zapadera, kupita patsogolo kwa anthu.
Kusintha kumeneku kukugwirizana ndi kusintha kuchoka pa kutcha "zolaula" kupita ku mawu wamba akuti "zolaula". M'buku lake, I Am Charlotte Simmons, Tom Wolfe anakhala zaka zingapo akuyang'ana ophunzira m'mayunivesite. M'bukuli, mnyamata wina, Ivy Peters, amabwera kunyumba ya mwamuna nati, "Kodi pali aliyense amene ali ndi zolaula?" M'modzi mwa anyamatawo anati, "Yesani chipinda chachitatu. Ali ndi magazini olembedwa ndi dzanja limodzi pamwamba apo." Koma Peters anayankha kuti, "Ndakhala ndikulekerera magazini ... Ndikufuna makanema ... Ndikufuna zolaula. Vuto lalikulu ndi chiyani?"
Amadziwa kuti "amalekerera" monga woledzera yemwe sangathe kukwera pamwamba pa zithunzi zomwe zinamuyendetsa kale. Ndipo ngozi ndikuti kulekerera uku kudzachitika mu ubale, monga momwe iwo anachitira kwa odwala omwe ine ndikuwawona, kuwatsogolera ku mavuto a mphamvu ndi zina, nthawizina zosakondedwa, zokonda. Pamene ojambula zithunzi amazitamanda kuti akukankhira envelopu poyambitsa nkhani zatsopano, zovuta, zomwe sanena ndizoyenera, chifukwa makasitomala awo akumanga kulekerera zomwe zili. Magazini akumbuyo a magazini a anthu a risque ndi ma intaneti okhudzana ndi zolaula amadzaza ndi malonda a mankhwala osokoneza bongo - mankhwala opangidwa kwa amuna achikulire omwe ali ndi mavuto erectile okhudzana ndi kukalamba ndi kutseka mitsempha ya magazi mu mbolo. Masiku ano anyamata achiwerewere omwe amaonera zolaula amawopa kwambiri chifukwa chosowa kanthu, kapena "kutayika kwa erectile" monga momwe akutchedwa euphemistically. Nthawi yowononga imasonyeza kuti amunawa ali ndi vuto m'malingaliro awo, koma vuto liri pamitu yawo, m'matauni awo a ubongo. Mbolo imakhala yabwino pamene amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula. Sizikupezeka kawirikawiri kwa iwo kuti pangakhale ubale pakati pa zolaula zomwe iwo akudya ndi kusowa kwawo. (Amuna ochepa, komabe, amafotokoza momveka bwino maola awo pamasewera a pakompyuta monga nthawi yogwiritsira ntchito "maliseche a ubongo wanga"). Izi ndichifukwa chakuti, monga momwe tidzaonera, zolaula, zoperekedwa ndi ma intaneti othamanga kwambiri, zimakhutitsa aliyense zomwe zimafunikira kuti asinthe, ndipo amamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo.
Kuvuta kwa zolaula pa intaneti sikuli fanizo. Sizinthu zonse zoledzeretsa ndizogwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena mowa. Anthu akhoza kukhala oledzera kwambiri kutchova juga, ngakhale kuthamanga. Onse oledzera amasonyeza kusowa koyendetsa ntchitoyi, kumangokhalira kufunafuna izo ngakhale zotsatira zovulaza, kukulitsa kuleza mtima kotero kuti akusowa magawo apamwamba ndi apamwamba okondweretsa, ndi kuchitapo kanthu kuchoka ngati sangakwanitse kuchita chizoloŵezi choledzera.
Kuledzera konse kumaphatikizapo nthawi yaitali, nthawi zina moyo wonse, kusintha kwa ubongo mu ubongo. Kwa ozoloŵera, kuchepetsa nthawi zonse sikungatheke, ndipo ayenera kupeŵa chinthu kapena ntchito kwathunthu kuti apewe makhalidwe osokoneza bongo. Oledzera Wosadziwika amatsutsa kuti palibe "omwe kale anali chidakwa" ndipo amachititsa anthu omwe sanamwe mowa kwa zaka makumi ambiri kudziwonetsera okha pamsonkhano ponena kuti, "Dzina langa ndine John, ndipo ndine chidakwa". Pogwiritsa ntchito pulasitiki, nthawi zambiri amakhala olondola.
Pofuna kudziwa momwe mankhwala osokoneza bongo amalekera, afukufuku a National Institutes of Health (NIH) ku Maryland amaphunzitsa makoswe kuti asakanikize mpaka atagwidwa ndi mankhwala. Ng'ombeyo ikamafuna kugwira ntchito kuti ikanikizidwe, ndiye kuti mankhwalawa amamwa mowa kwambiri. Cocaine, pafupifupi mankhwala ena osayenera, komanso ngakhale mankhwala osokoneza bongo monga kuthamanga kumapangitsa kuti mphutsi yopatsa chisangalalo ikhale yogwira mtima mu ubongo. Dopamine imatchedwa mphotho yopereka mphoto, chifukwa pamene tikwaniritsa chinachake - kuthamanga mpikisano ndi kupambana - ubongo wathu umayambitsa kumasulidwa kwake. Ngakhale titatopa, timapeza mphamvu, chisangalalo chosangalatsa ndi chidaliro, ndipo ngakhale kukweza manja athu ndikugonjetsa mpikisano. Otaika, omwe sagwidwa ndi dopamine, akugwa pamapeto, ndipo amadzimva chisoni. Pogwiritsa ntchito dongosolo lathu la dopamine, zinthu zolimbitsa thupi zimatipatsa chisangalalo popanda ntchito.
Dopamine imathandizanso kusintha kwa pulasitiki. Kuwonjezeka komweko kwa dopamine komwe kumatikondweretsa kumalumikizanitsa mgwirizano wa neuronal womwe uli ndi makhalidwe omwe adatitsogolera kukwaniritsa cholinga chathu. Akatswiri a sayansi ya zamoyo, Michael Merzenich, adagwiritsa ntchito electrode kuti amuthandize kuti adziwe mphotho ya dopamine pamene akusewera phokoso, kumasulidwa kwa dopamine kunayambitsa kusintha kwa pulasitiki, kukulitsa chiwonetsero cha phokoso la mapepala. Chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi zolaula ndi chakuti dopamine imatulutsidwa muchisangalalo chogonana, kuonjezera kugonana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi onse, kuwongolera zachiwerewere, ndi kuyambitsa malo osangalatsa a ubongo. Choncho mphamvu yowonongeka ya zolaula. Cambridge University neuropsychiatrist Dr Valerie Voon posachedwapa akuwonetsa kuti amuna omwe amadzitchula kuti ali ndi chizoloŵezi cha zolaula (ndi omwe anatayika maubwenzi chifukwa cha izo) amakhala ndi kusintha kumalo amodzi a ubongo - malo opatsa malipiro - omwe amasintha mankhwala osokoneza bongo.
Eric Nestler, ku Yunivesite ya Texas, awonetsa momwe zosokoneza zimasinthira kosatha mu ubongo wa nyama. Mlingo umodzi wokha wa mankhwala osokoneza bongo umatulutsa mapuloteni, otchedwa delta-FosB, omwe amasonkhana mu ma neuron. Nthawi iliyonse mankhwalawa akagwiritsidwa ntchito, delta-FosB yambiri imasonkhana, mpaka iponyera kusintha kwa majini, komwe kumakhudza ma jini omwe amatsegulidwa kapena kuzimitsidwa. Kukulitsa kusinthaku kumayambitsa kusintha komwe kumakhalapobe mankhwalawa atayimitsidwa, zomwe zimapangitsa kuwonongeka kosasinthika kwa ubongo wa dopamine ndikupangitsa kuti nyamayo ikhale ndi chizolowezi choledzera. Zosokoneza bongo, monga kuthamanga ndi kumwa mowa, zingayambitsenso kuwonjezeka kwa delta-FosB ndi kusintha komweko kosatha mu dongosolo la dopamine. Ojambula zithunzi amalonjeza chisangalalo chathanzi ndi mpumulo ku zovuta zakugonana, koma zomwe amapereka nthawi zambiri ndichizolowezi, kulolerana, komanso kuchepa kwachisangalalo. Chodabwitsa ndichakuti, odwala amuna omwe ndimagwira nawo ntchito nthawi zambiri ankalakalaka zolaula koma samazikonda. Malingaliro abwinobwino ndikuti chidakwa chimabwerera kumakonzedwe ake ambiri chifukwa amakonda chisangalalo chomwe chimapereka ndipo sakonda kupweteka kwa kusiya. Koma omwe amamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo amamwa mankhwalawa popanda chiyembekezo, pomwe akudziwa kuti alibe mankhwala okwanira, ndipo amalakalaka kwambiri asanayambe. Kufuna ndi kukonda ndi zinthu ziwiri zosiyana.
Chizoloŵezi chokhudzidwa ndi zilakolako chifukwa ubongo wake wa pulasitiki wathandizidwa ku mankhwala kapena zochitikazo. Kuyanjanitsa kuli kosiyana ndi kulekerera. Pamene kuleza mtima kumakula, chidakwa chimasowa zinthu zambiri kapena zolaula kuti zitheke; pamene chidziwitso chimakula, amafunikira zinthu zocheperapo kuti azikhumba kwambiri. Kulimbikitsidwa kotero kumapangitsa kuwonjezeka kufuna, ngakhale kuti sikukukondweretsa kwenikweni. Ndiko kusungidwa kwa delta-FosB, chifukwa chodziwidwa ndi mankhwala kapena mankhwala omwe amamwa mankhwala, omwe amachititsa kukulitsa.
Zithunzi zolaula ndi zosangalatsa kuposa kukondweretsa chifukwa tili ndi machitidwe osiyana okondweretsa mu ubongo wathu, zomwe zimakhudzana ndi chisangalalo chosangalatsa komanso chimodzimodzi ndi zosangalatsa zokondweretsa. Ndondomekoyi ikukhudzana ndi zokondweretsa "zokondweretsa" zomwe timapeza ndikuganiza zomwe tikufuna, monga kugonana kapena chakudya chabwino. Zomwe zimayambitsa matenda a ubongo makamaka zimayambitsa dopamine, ndipo zimabweretsa mavuto.
Njira yachiwiri yokondweretsa ikukhudzana ndi kukhutira, kapena kukondweretsa kokwanira, komwe kumayendera kwenikweni kugonana kapena kukhala ndi chakudya chimenecho, kukondweretsa, kukwaniritsa zosangalatsa. Mmene thupi lake limagwiritsira ntchito matendawa limachokera ku kutulutsidwa kwa endorphins, zomwe zimagwirizana ndi opiates ndikupereka mtendere, chisangalalo. Porn zimasokoneza njira yokhutiritsa pogwiritsa ntchito zinthu zosagonana zosatha.
Amuna omwe anali pa makompyuta awo, omwe ine ndi ena tinkawachitira chithandizo m'zaka za m'ma 1990, omwe ankayang'ana zolaula anali ngati makoswe omwe anali m'makola a NIH, akukanikiza bala kuti apeze dopamine kapena yofanana nayo. Ngakhale kuti sankadziwa, adakopeka kuti aphunzire zolaula zomwe zinakwaniritsa zofunikira zonse pakusintha mapu a ubongo. Popeza ma neuron omwe amalumikizana pamodzi, amunawa adachita masewera olimbitsa thupi ambiri polumikiza zithunzizi m'malo osangalatsa a ubongo, ndi chidwi chofunikira pakusintha pulasitiki. Amaganiza zithunzizi ali kutali ndi makompyuta awo, kapena akugonana ndi atsikana awo, kuwalimbikitsa. Nthawi iliyonse akamamva chisangalalo chogonana komanso atatopa akamaseweretsa maliseche, "spritz ya dopamine", neurotransmitter yopatsa mphotho, inagwirizanitsa kulumikizana komwe kunachitika muubongo panthawi yamaphunziro. Mphothoyi sinangothandiza khalidweli; sinapangitse manyazi omwe akanamva pogula Playboy kusitolo. Apa panali khalidwe lopanda "chilango", koma mphotho yokha. Popeza kuti kugonana kwabwino kumakhala kopikisana, ubongo umapeza zithunzi zatsopano komanso zosangalatsa zomwe zidawakopa kale - chifukwa chake, ndikukhulupirira, adayamba kupeza atsikana awo osakondana kwambiri.
Nkhani ya Sean Thomas, yomwe inafalitsidwa koyamba mu Spectator ku England, ndi nkhani yodabwitsa ya mwamuna amene anayamba kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula, ndipo imafotokoza momwe zolaula zimasinthira ubongo wake ndikusintha kukoma kwa kugonana, komanso momwe zinthu zimakhalira nthawi yovuta kwambiri. Thomas analemba kuti, “Sindinkakonda zolaula, kwenikweni. Inde, ndili wachinyamata m’zaka za m’ma 1970 ndinali ndi buku la Playboy pansi pa pilo langa. Koma nthawi zonse sindinkakonda ma skin mags kapena mafilimu abuluu.”
Ndinawaona kuti ndi ovuta, obwerezabwereza, osamvetsetsa, komanso ochititsa manyazi kwambiri kugula. "Anakhumudwa chifukwa cha zolaula zomwe ankachita komanso zovuta za mitsempha yomwe inakhalamo. Koma mu 2001, atatsala pang'ono kupita ku intaneti, adafuna kudziwa za zolaula zomwe aliyense adanena kuti akutenga intaneti. Ambiri a malowa anali aulere, kapena "masitepe", kuti apeze anthu zinthu zovuta. Panali mazenera a atsikana amaliseche, omwe amagwiritsa ntchito mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya kugonana ndi zokopa, zokonzedwa kuti apange batani mu ubongo wa surfer, ngakhale imodzi yomwe iye sankadziwa kuti anali nayo. Tomasi adapeza kuti "adandibwezera ine tsiku lotsatira. Ndipo lotsatira. Ndipo lotsatira. "
Kenako tsiku lina adakumana ndi tsamba lomwe linali ndi zithunzi zokwapula. Anadabwa kuti anasangalala kwambiri. Posakhalitsa a Thomas adapeza masamba amtundu uliwonse, monga "Bernie's Spanking Pages" ndi "Spanking College". "Iyi inali nthawi," akulemba, "zomwe zidayamba. Chidwi changa pakumenya chidandipangitsa kuganiza kuti: Ndi ma kink ena ati omwe ndimakhala nawo? Ndi zinsinsi zina ziti zobisika zomwe zimabisalira ine zogonana zomwe ndikadatha kuzifufuza ndekha m'nyumba mwanga? Zambiri, momwe zinachitikira. Ndidapeza chidwi chachikulu, mwa zina, za akazi achikazi, azikhalidwe zolimba, komanso zithunzi za atsikana aku Japan akuvula mathalauza awo otentha. Ndinalinso mumasewera a netball opanda ma knickers, atsikana oledzera aku Russia omwe amadziwonetsera okha, komanso zochitika zosokoneza pomwe atsikana achiDanish omvera amametedwa kwambiri ndi akazi awo otchuka osamba. Ukondewo, mwanjira ina, unandiwululira kuti ndinali ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana okhudzana ndi zachiwerewere komanso kuti zomwe ndakwaniritsa pa intaneti zidayambitsa chidwi. ”
Kufikira iye adafika pazithunzi zojambulidwa, zomwe mwachidziwikire zidakumbidwa muzochitika zina zaubwana kapena zozizwitsa za kulangidwa, zithunzi zomwe adaziwona zimamukonda koma sanamukakamize. Anthu ena amaganiza za kugonana. Zomwe Thomas anakumana nazo zinali zofanana ndi za odwala anga: osadziwa zonse zomwe anali kufuna, iwo anajambula zithunzi ndi zochitika zambiri mpaka atagwira chithunzi kapena chilakolako chogonana chimene chinakhudza nkhani yomwe idakondwera nawo.
Tomasi atangopeza fanolo, anasintha. Chithunzi chojambulidwacho chinali ndi chidwi chake, chikhalidwe cha kusintha kwa pulasitiki. Ndipo mosiyana ndi mkazi weniweni, zithunzi zolaulazi zinalipo tsiku lonse, tsiku lililonse pa kompyuta.
Anayesetsa kudziletsa yekha koma ankatha maola asanu ndi awiri pa tsiku akugwedeza mwachinsinsi, akugona maola atatu usiku. Msungwana wake, podziwa kuti watopa kwambiri, ankadabwa ngati akuwona wina. Anayamba kugona kwambiri moti matenda ake anavutika, ndipo anadwala matenda osiyanasiyana omwe anam'gwera m'chipinda chodzidzimutsa m'chipatala ndikumuchititsa kuti agwire ntchito. Anayamba kufunsana pakati pa abwenzi ake achibwana ndipo adapeza kuti ambiri mwa iwo adagwidwa.
Mwachiwonekere panali chinachake chokhudzana ndi kugonana kwa Tomasi, kunja kwodziwa kwake, komwe kunachitika mwadzidzidzi. Kodi ukonde umangowonetsera zikwangwani ndi kinks, kapena kodi zimathandizanso kuwakhazikitsa? Ndikuganiza kuti zimapanga malingaliro atsopano pazinthu za kugonana zomwe zakhala ziri kunja kwa chidziwitso cha surfer, ndikubweretsa zinthu izi kupanga mawonekedwe atsopano. Sizingatheke kuti amuna ambiri awona, kapena akuganiza, akugonjera okondweretsa a ku Denmark omwe amameta kwambiri ndi akazi awo olemekezeka omwe akutsuka. Freud anapeza kuti malingaliro oterowo amagwira malingaliro chifukwa cha zigawo zina mwa iwo. Mwachitsanzo, amuna ena okwatirana amayamba kukondana ndi zochitika zolaula zomwe akazi achikulire, omwe amawoneka achikulire, amachititsa atsikana kuti azigonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Izi zikhoza kukhala chifukwa anyamata kuyambira ali ana nthawi zambiri amamva kuti akulamulidwa ndi amayi awo, omwe ndi "bwana", ndi kavalidwe, amavala zovala ndi kusamba. Kuyambira ali aang'ono anyamata ena amatha kudutsa nthawi yomwe amadziwika kwambiri ndi amayi awo ndikumva ngati "mtsikana", ndipo chidwi chawo chogonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha chikhoza kufotokozera kudziwika kwawo kwa amayi osadziwika. Zojambula zosavuta zimafotokoza zina mwazithunzithunzi zoyambirira zomwe zimapanga nthawi zovuta zokhudzana ndi kugonana ndikubweretsa zinthu zonse zoyambirira, zoiwalika, kapena zowonongeka pamodzi kuti zikhale ndi intaneti yatsopano, momwe zinthu zonse zimagwirira ntchito pamodzi. Zithunzi zojambulidwa zimapanga makalata ofanana a kinks ndi kuwasakaniza pamodzi muzithunzi. Pambuyo pake, opaleshoniyo imapeza kuphatikiza komwe kumaphatikizapo makina ake ogonana pogonana nthawi imodzi. Kenaka amawongolera maukondewo poona zithunzizo mobwerezabwereza, maliseche, kumasula dopamine ndi kulimbikitsa ma intaneti. Iye wapanga mtundu wa "kugonana kwa amuna okhaokha", kamangidwe kamene kamangidwanso komwe kachokera kwambiri mu chizolowezi chake chogonana. Chifukwa chakuti nthawi zambiri amalekerera, zosangalatsa zokhudzana ndi kugonana zimayenera kuwonjezeredwa ndi chisangalalo cha kumasulidwa kwaukali, ndipo zithunzi zachiwerewere ndi zachiwawa zimasokonezeka kwambiri - choncho kuwonjezeka kwazithunzi zachisoni zosautsa.
Kuyanjanitsa kwa machitidwe athu okondweretsa, komanso momwe zilakolako zathu zogonana zingapezedwe, zimawoneka mochititsa chidwi kwambiri muzolakwika monga kugonana koschism, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti thupi likhale losangalala. Kuti tichite zimenezi, ubongo uyenera kukhala wokondweretsa umene suli wokondweretsa, ndipo maganizo omwe amachititsa kuti mapulaneti athu azipweteka amapangidwanso m'matolo athu.
Anthu omwe ali ndi ziphuphu nthawi zambiri amawongolera miyoyo yawo pochita zinthu zomwe zimasokoneza nkhanza ndi kugonana, ndipo nthawi zambiri amakondwerera komanso amatsitsa manyazi, kudana, kutsutsa, oletsedwa, olepheretsa, ochimwitsa komanso ophwanya malamulo; amamva ngati apadera chifukwa chosakhala "wamba". Maganizo "olakwika" kapena osayerawa ndi ofunikira kuti azisangalala.
Chisokonezo cha kugonana chimasonyeza kupanga mapulasitiki chifukwa chimaphwanya zizoloŵezi ziwiri zomwe zimadziwika, kugonana ndi nkhanza, zomwe zimakhala zokondweretsa padera, ndipo zimawasonkhanitsa pokhapokha atamasulidwa, zosangalatsazo zawonjezeka. Koma masochism - kawirikawiri amawoneka mwa anthu omwe avutika kwambiri - amapita mochulukira chifukwa zimatengera chinachake chosasangalatsa, kupweteka, ndikusandulika kukhala chisangalalo, kusinthasintha kugonana kogwiritsa ntchito mozama komanso momveka bwino, kusonyeza mapulasitiki a zosangalatsa zathu ndi zopweteka zathu machitidwe.
Cholinga chachikulu cha Canada, Marshall McLuhan, nthawi zambiri amatsindika kuti sing'anga ndi uthenga. M'nthaŵi imene mauthenga a zamalonda ali paliponse, owerengeka amamvetsetsa, monga momwe anachitira, kuti mauthenga amasintha ife, atidziwitse ife, osati njira ina. Osowa athu a zamagetsi akuganiza kuti ndi ife amene tikuyang'anira.
Ndanena kuti odwala omwe ali m'gulu la 1990 omwe anali oyamba kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti (ndipo amatha kufanizitsa mphamvu zake, monga momwe Tomasi adachitira, kumagazini oyambirira a girly) nthawi zambiri ankasintha pamene akudutsa makompyuta awo, ngakhale atakhala adachotsedwa. Zolembedwa zawo zinagwirizanitsidwa ndi sing'anga.
M'buku lake, Bunny Tales: Behind Close Doors at the Playboy Mansion, Izabella St James, yemwe anali m'modzi mwa "akazi a Hugh Hefner" akale, anafotokoza za kugonana ndi Hef. Hef, ali ndi zaka pafupifupi 70, ankagonana kawiri pa sabata, nthawi zina ndi akazi ake anayi kapena kuposerapo nthawi imodzi, St James pakati pawo. Anali ndi zinthu zatsopano, zosiyanasiyana, kuchulukana komanso akazi ofunitsitsa kuchita zomwe akufuna. Pamapeto pa phwando lachisangalalo, St James analemba, "chimaliziro chachikulu: adadziseweretsa maliseche akuonera zolaula".
Pano, munthu amene angakhale ndi zolaula zowonongeka, ndi zolaula zonyansa, mmalo mwake adachoka ku thupi lawo lenileni ndi kukhudza, ku chithunzi pazenera. Ena anganene kuti, "Mpatseni munthu wokalamba", adali ndi zaka makumi asanu ndi awiri zapitazo, mwinamwake anafunikira thandizo laling'ono. Koma chotsutsa chimenecho sichimamveka, ndiye kuti chomwe chinamuthandiza sikunali nyenyezi zokongola zolaula, koma zithunzi za celluloid za iwo, zinachotsedwa kamodzi. Zinali, ndikupatseni chitsanzo chabwino cha momwe kugonana kwa munthu weniweni kumakhudzidwa ndi sing'anga yomwe imaimira munthu ameneyo.
Ponena za odwala omwe ankachita nawo zolaula, ambiri amatha kupita ku ozizira atangomvetsetsa vutoli komanso mmene analilimbitsira thupi. Anapeza kuti pamapeto pake adakopeka ndi abwenzi awo. Palibe mmodzi mwa amunawa omwe anali ndi chizoloŵezi choledzera kapena vuto lalikulu la ana, ndipo atadziwa zomwe zikuwachitikira, anasiya kugwiritsa ntchito makompyuta awo kwa nthawi kuti athetse vuto lawo losautsa, ndipo chilakolako chawo cha zolaula chinachepa kwambiri. Ena mwa iwo mwina anali ndi vuto lopweteka, lopangidwa ndi chilengedwe: chomwe chimatchedwa Coolidge effect, kumene nyama zamphongo, zokhudzana ndi kugonana kale, zimafuna kugonana msanga mofulumira ndi wokondedwa watsopano. Izi zikhoza kumangidwa mwa amuna, mwa chisinthiko, kuti awonjezere mwayi wawo wobereka. Pokhala osagwiritsa ntchito makompyuta awo pa zolaula, kwa nthawi yayitali, onsewa anachotsa mayesero ndipo adagwiritsa ntchito lamulo linalake lachisokonezo: ma neurons omwe amawotcha fodya pambali, omwe angagwiritsidwe ntchito kuswa chizolowezi chosafuna.
Ngati munthu wochulukirapo pa zolaula pa intaneti ndi wina yemwe ali ndi bwenzi, kapena anzake, koma ali ndi chizoloŵezi choledzera, sangafunike kudziwa kokha momwe kayendetsedwe kowonjezera kamagwirira ntchito, koma zothandizira zosiyanasiyana, zomwe zakhala zothandiza mu zovuta zina.
Kubwezeretsa ulamuliro kungakhale kovuta kwa odwala omwe, m'nthawi yawo yovuta, adayamba kukonda mitundu yovuta ya kugonana, kenako adapeza kuti zofunazi zayambanso kuyatsidwa, ndi zinthu zomwe zimayambitsa zolaula. (Ganizirani za "kumenya" ngati choyambitsa cha kuvulala kwa ana.) Amuna otere, akamalandira chithandizo, adatha kuwunika tanthauzo la zinthu zatsopano zomwe zimayambitsa, kuti adziwe chifukwa chake adazigwira, ndikumasula mphamvuyo. (Sizachilendo anthu akakumana ndi zoopsa zomwe sizinathetsedwe, kuti, kuti azitha kulamulira malingaliro opweteka omwe amayambitsa, apeze njira yowapangitsa kukhala "osangalatsa". Popeza chisangalalo cha kugonana ndi kutuluka m'magazi zimakhala zosangalatsa kwambiri, malingaliro okhudza kuvulala nthawi zambiri amakhala "ogonana". Amakhala "oyambitsa".) Komabe ngakhale ena mwa amunawa adatha kusintha mtundu wawo wa kugonana, panthawi ya chithandizo, chifukwa malamulo omwewo a neuroplasticity omwe amatilola kukhala ndi zokonda zovuta amatithandizanso, pa chithandizo champhamvu, kupeza zatsopano, zathanzi komanso nthawi zina kutaya zakale, zovuta. Tikuyamba kuphunzira kuchokera ku sayansi, momwe kuchira ku zizolowezi kumachitika. Kwenikweni, nthawi yopuma yokhazikika imafunika kuti malo opatsa mphotho muubongo abwerere mwakale pamene pali choyambitsa chizolowezi,. Koma n'zotheka kuti pali zina zomwe zimatsala, monga momwe zilili ndi vuto la delta-FosB lomwe lafotokozedwa pamwambapa. Popeza chilakolako chogonana ndi chinthu chachibadwa, osati mankhwala osokoneza bongo, mpaka titaphunzira za anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la zolaula, sitidzadziwa motsimikiza.
Ndizosiyana kwambiri pamene mukuchita ndi munthu yemwe kugonana nthawi zonse amakhala womangika mu sadomasochism, ndipo ndani saziwona kuti ali ndi vuto. Munthu wotero sakhala ndi chilakolako chogonana pogwiritsa ntchito zolaula, koma kulimbikitsa zomwe zilipo. Ndikofunika kukumbukira osati khalidwe lokhalitsa, koma amene akuliika. Amuna ena amakhulupirira kuti ali ndi chiyembekezo chochepa pa mpikisano wokhala okondana komanso ogwirizana. Mwina akudziona kuti akuvutika ndi ntchito, chikhalidwe chawo, kapena thanzi lawo, amakhulupirira okha "zoipa". Amadzikhulupirira okha kuti ali "otsika mu ulamuliro wolemekezeka", ndipo kuti izi zimawapangitsa kukhala osakongola ngati okwatirana kwa ena. Akhoza kuchoka pachibwenzi, pokhumudwa. Kwa iwo, moyo wa zolaula umangokhala m'malo mwa kugonana mu chiyanjano. Zimamva kwa iwo, "zabwino zomwe angathe kuchita". Kuwathandiza kumafuna kuwathandiza kuti aphunzire kuthana ndi zovuta zomwe zimawawoneka ngati "otayika".
Mwachidziwikire, anyamata achichepere, chifukwa cha kusadziŵa kwawo, nthawi zambiri amadziona kuti ndi otsika kwambiri, monga amalingalira, okwatirana okondedwa. Odwala omwe sakudziwa zambiri, komabe, ndi momwe tidzathandizire achinyamata, omwe amakonda kugonana chifukwa cha zolaula, chifukwa chiwonetsero cha zolaula ndi chatsopano. Kodi zimenezi zimakhudza chabe? Kapena kodi masewero atsopano a zolaula adzadziphatika kwambiri chifukwa chakuti zaka zachinyamata akadakali zochitika?
Anthu, monga mnyamatayo mu InRealLife , si makoswe okha omwe ali m'makola, monga zitsanzo za ku National Institutes of Health. Mnyamatayo adawonetsa kukhumudwa ndi zomwe zolaulazo zinkamuchitira. Tikukhulupirira, pamene achinyamata akukambirana izi momasuka, monga momwe mnyamatayo adachitira, kuti achitapo kanthu. Masiku ano, pali mawebusayiti angapo omwe akubwera achinyamata ndi anyamata, omwe amanena kuti kuchita zinthu mopanda nzeru kumawoneka ngati kukuwagwirira ntchito. Si zizolowezi zonse zomwe zimakhala zofanana; ndipo zina zimawoneka ngati zosinthika. Ndi ubongo wogwiritsa ntchito kapena kutaya, ngakhale pankhani ya chilakolako chogonana ndi chikondi. Izi zikutanthauza kuti zisankho zomwe anyamatawa amapanga sizimangopanga zochita zomwe amachita, panthawi inayake, komanso mawonekedwe ndi kapangidwe ka ubongo wawo, kwa nthawi yayitali. Kuzindikira kumeneko, kokha, kungakhale kokwanira kuwapangitsa kukhala ndi nthawi yambiri akuganizira za njira yanzeru kwambiri yochitira.
Gawo lina latengedwa kuchokera mu buku la The Brain That Changes Itself , 2007, ndi ufulu wokopera © Norman Doidge, 2007.