Ulendo wosiya zolaula umapangidwa mosavuta ngati mungathe kuyimba pazida zolumikizana ndi ena. Simuli nokha ndipo mutha kupindula ndi zokumana nazo za ena.
"Kulimbika kulibe mphamvu yopitilira - kumachitika pomwe mulibe mphamvu. "
Napoleon Bonaparte
Wina wogwiritsa ntchito akuchira:
Pali malo ambiri omwe mungakhale ozoloŵera kukhala kunja ndi kuzungulira anthu koma ndinu okongola osagwira ntchito pokhapokha ngati mutagwirizana ndi anthu. Khalani kunja ndipo muwerenge mu laibulale kapena kusindikiza mabuku, kapena mutenge magazini ku Starbucks kapena benchi ya paki. Kapena mutenge maulendo ataliatali kunja. Ndimawona kuti kupanga zinthu ngati izi chizolowezi kumandithandiza kuchotsa pamutu panga ndipo kumandichititsa kumva ngati munthu wamba.
Gawo lotsatira ndikuyang'ana anthu omwe mumadutsa nawo ndikumwetulira. Kenako yesani kuyankhulana ndi akazi mukamayenda pamisika kapena pafupi ndi sukulu yanu. Chotsatira, yesani kumwetulira ndi maso. Kenako, kugwedeza mutu ndikuganiza "uthenga" wosanenedwa kwa iwo, monga, "Mukuwoneka bwino kwambiri." Kenako, nenani "moni" kwa ochepa ndikumwetulira. Pangani masewera. Onani ngati mungawongolere maphunzilo anu nthawi iliyonse.
Kulumikizana sikuyenera kukhala mawu kuti mutonthoze mitima yathu. Kulumikizana ndi ubale kumatulutsa mulingo wathanzi wa dopamine ndi mankhwala ena "amamva bwino", monga oxytocin, omwe amatithandiza kuti tikhale olimba.
Zopindulitsa kuchokera ku mgwirizano zikuwoneka bwino kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, odwala omwe ali ndi kachilombo ka HIV amakhala ndi nthawi yayitali ndikuyamba kukhala ndi Edzi mofulumira. Mabala amachiza kawiri mofulumira ndi chiyanjano poyerekeza ndi kudzipatula. Kukhudza mwachikondi pakati pa okwatirana kumachepetsanso mavuto osiyanasiyana. Komabe mphatso zakuya za kugwirizana kwapafupi zingakhale zomveka. Kutseka kugwirizana kwa maganizo kumakhudzana ndi kuchepa kwa chizoloŵezi choledzera ndi kuvutika maganizo. Amasintha maonekedwe a ubongo ndi ubongo wa iwo omwe amachita nawo, kulimbitsa mtima wawo wokha ndikumvetsetsa komanso kumvetsetsa.
Anthu sangathe kuwongolera zokha zawo zokha, osati kwa nthawi yaitali. Akaidi omwe ali m'ndende ali okha amakhala amanyala. M'mawu ena, ndi zachilendo kumva nkhawa kapena kupanikizika mukakhala nokha. Monga Philip J. Flores akutikumbutsa Chizolowezi ngati Chodetsa Chisokonezo, "Attachment si lingaliro lokha; Ndilo lamulo. "Ndizinanso za inshuwalansi yabwino ya umoyo dziko lapansi limapereka. Kulumikizana kumathandizira kuchepetsa mahomoni a cortisol, omwe angasokoneze chitetezo chathu cha mthupi movutika. "Ziri zochepa kwambiri kuvala ndi kutisokoneza ngati tili ndi munthu wina woti atithandize kutitsogolera," anatero katswiri wamaganizo / katswiri wa sayansi ya zamoyo, dzina lake James A. Coan. New York Times.
Pamene akuchira anthu ogwiritsa ntchito kuti asamangoganizira za "mpumulo wawo", mphotho yawo yowonjezereka imayang'ana pozungulira zinthu zina zosangalatsa. Choyamba izo zimakhala zosayembekezereka zakumverera bwino kachiwiri, koma potsiriza zimapeza mphoto zachibadwa zomwe zinasintha kuti zipeze: kukambirana kwaubwenzi, okwatirana enieni, nthawi mu chilengedwe, zochita masewero, kukwaniritsa, kulenga, ndi zina zotero.
Mukhoza kuyendetsa njira yowonongeka, ndipo muyambe kulandira mphotho zakuthupi zomwe zimachokera kukulumikizana ndi ena. Lowani. Nthawi yamtundu ndi abwenzi ndi abwino. Kulephera izi:
Ndinkakhala kumapeto kwa sabata iliyonse kwa makolo anga. Anacheza nawo ndikungoonera TV. Sindimakonda kuonera TV, koma kukhala pafupi ndi iwo kunandithandiza. Kuphatikiza mchimwene wanga alipo, ndimacheza naye kwambiri. Pomaliza koma galu wabanja. Amadziwa kupatsa chikondi. Ndimamulola kunyambita nkhope yanga ndipo timasewera ndikukumbatirana. Ndi mwana wamkulu.
Koma onetsetsani ngati mungathe kuchitapo kanthu: Kodi mungatani kuti mukhudze bwino ndi malire abwino? Kusinthanitsa masewera oyandikana ndi bwenzi? Penyani kanema ndi munthu yemwe mungathe kuyika mkono wanu mozungulira? Gwiritsani usiku ndi snuggle buddy? Gawani nkhaniyi ndi mnzanga kuti afotokoze nkhaniyi. Mnyamata wina anati:
Ndili ndi bwenzi lachikazi lokhala ndi maubwino, koma maubwino ake ndikuti amakonda kubwera kamodzi pamlungu ndikungokakamira pamene timaonera kanema. Ndi namwali ndipo mwina ndi lingaliro labwino kuti tisamagonane, malinga ndi mbiri yake. Koma zimandimasula kwambiri kuti ndisiye kukakamizidwa komwe ndimadzipatsa kuti ndigone. Makamaka ndikayamba zolaula, ndimayesetsa kuti mbolo yanga ikhale yovuta kuti ndigone. Komanso ndikuphunzira kusiya ZOFUNIKA zogonana. M'mbuyomu ngati mkazi yemwe amandifuna anali ine, ndimangoganiza zogonana. Koma tsopano ndikhoza kumasuka ndikukhala.
Malangizo ochokera kwa mnyamata wina:
Ndinali wamanyazi kwambiri komanso wosakhazikika pagulu kuyambira pachiyambi. Ndasankha kusintha ndili wachinyamata. Ndidazindikira zofooka zanga komwe ndimakhala ndikuwerenga nkhani kuti ndiwathetse. Ndinazindikira kuti kunali kosavuta kukhala paubwenzi ndi anthu ngati inu ndi iwo timakhala pamalo omwe timakonda kalasi, tchalitchi, timagulu tosangalatsa, ndi zina zambiri. Tsopano ndikungopereka ndemanga kapena ziwiri pakafunika kutero pamene tikucheza. Ena amayankha. Ndipo ndimangoti sawazika ndikutsanzika kwa anthuwa kuyambira tsiku lotsatira. Potsirizira pake, ndimakhala waubwenzi ndi aliyense kumeneko ndipo ndimakhala ndi gulu la anthu omwe amanditenga ngati anzawo. Ndiosavuta. Ndipo inde, ndidapezanso chikondi. Icho chinali chinthu chachilengedwe kwambiri. Funani anzanu; osati chikondi. Chilichonse chidzagwera m'malo mwake. Permalink
Malangizo ochokera kwa mnyamata wina:
Malangizo enanso:
Kuyambira mawa, mukamapita kukagula chilichonse kushopu kapena malo ogulira - khofi, bokosi la zoumba, chida chatsopano, zilizonse - ikafika nthawi yoti mulipire, m'malo mongofunafuna posaka khadi lanu la ngongole kapena ndalama, yang'anani wogulitsa ndikuti "muli bwanji?"
Ndipo kenako dikirani kuti iwo ayankhe. Ambiri aiwo anganene kuti “chabwino” (monga momwe tonsefe tingachitire). Ochepa sangayankhe chifukwa ali ndi mantha kuti kasitomala angachite izi. Koma kudabwitsidwa m'njira yabwino. Ndipo ambiri adzamwetulira ndikuyamikira kuti mumawazindikira ngati munthu.
Ndikudziwa - wopusa, wopusa… koma EASY ndipo posakhalitsa, muzichita mwachilengedwe ndipo mudzadabwa ndi zomwe izi zimakuchitirani ngati muli ndi nkhawa ndi nkhawa zamanyazi kapena manyazi.
Osati phazi lililonse paulendo uwu ayenera kukhala wozama.
Nayi malangizo a munthu wina:
Ndili ndi chiphunzitso ichi chokhudza amuna ndi luso labwino. Amuna ambiri sakhala ndi luso labwino monga amai amachitira. Akazi amayamba ndikulingalira maluso awo pa nthawi ya kutha msinkhu, pomwe akucheza ndi abwenzi awo, kukambirana za anyamata ndi atsikana ena. Padakali pano, anyamata a msinkhu umenewu amasewera masewera a pakompyuta ndi masewera. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ngati mwamuna akufuna kukhala ndi chidziwitso ngati mkazi, adzalimbikitsidwa pa nthawi yotsatira.
Komabe, anyamata ambiri amagonana ndi akazi, nthawi zambiri kudzera pagulu lomwe amakhala. Ndizotetezeka komanso sizimangochitika. Sizofanana ndikukulitsa maluso anu ochezera mpaka mutha kucheza ndi anthu osawadziwa popanda vuto lililonse. Momwe ndikudziwira, ndi amuna ochepa okha omwe amachita izi mwadala.
Zaka ziwiri zapitazi ndidakhala nthawi yayitali pa izi. Tapeza gulu labwino la anyamata omwe akugwira ntchitoyi. Ndinatsatiranso msonkhano womwe umakhala ndikufikira anthu mumsewu. Ndinayenera kufunsa mafunso osavuta poyamba (“Moni, ndikafika bwanji ku…?”), Kenako ndimafunsa ndi kakale, ndikumafunsa azimayi kuti andilangize za zovala zamkati za bwenzi longoyerekeza. Mwanjira imeneyi mumazolowera kuti kuyandikira alendo omwe simukuwadziwa nthawi zonse kumakhala ndi zotsatirapo zoyipa ndipo kumakupatsani chisangalalo chachikulu. Pambuyo pake ndinayenera kufunsa mtsikana wokongola nambala yake ya foni pasanathe masekondi 30… iye anakana ponena kuti ali ndi chibwenzi koma sizinali choncho, mfundo ndi yomwe ndinafunsidwa, ndipo inali kuphulika kwenikweni!
Komabe, ndikhoza kunena kuti zomwe zimatchedwa "kuyandikira nkhawa" sizimasowa. Mukawona mkazi wokongola uja ndipo simumakhala "otenthedwa mtima", nthawi zambiri mumakhala otseka, osadziwa choti muchite .. ngakhale anali nawo dzulo. Ndikofunikira kuti musamadzimenyetse chifukwa cha izi.
Kuti mukhale otentha, lankhulani ndi alendo ena. Alendowo sayenera kukhala akazi okongola (opanikiza). Heck, zitha kukhala zosangalatsa kwambiri kulankhula ndi anthu ena achikulire omwe atha kukhala ndi nkhani yabwino kapena ziwiri zogawana. Izi zikuthandizani kuti mukhale omasuka pakati pa anthu omwe azikakhalabe usiku. Kenako mumacheza ndi malingaliro osiyana.
Malingaliro a mnyamata wina:
Ndimakhalanso ndi mavuto olumikizana ndi ena, omwe ndikuganiza kuti ndi okhudzana ndi zolaula. Ndakhala ndikutenga nthawi kuyesera kudziwa chifukwa chomwe ndimavutikira kulumikiza. Kuchokera pazomwe ndapeza, pali zinthu zitatu zomwe zimakhudza momwe wina amalumikizirana ndi ena, ziwiri zomwe munthu angakhudze.
Choyamba, 'kuthekera' kwachikhalidwe chonse. Ena amatcha EQ, ndikuganiza, ndi momwe munthu angayanjanirane ndi ena, momwe amalankhulira bwino, momwe angakhudzire malingaliro a ena, ndi zina zotero. Ndikuganiza kuti anthu amaphunzira 'luso' ili , kapena kusonkhanitsa maluso. Ngati wina wabadwira m'banja lokonda kucheza kwambiri, ndiyeno nakhala ndi abwenzi ochezeka, amakhala, munthawi zonse zovuta kwambiri, adzakhala anzeru pamacheza. Izi zanenedwa, ndikuganiza kuti munthu atha kuphunzira ndikuwongolera luso lawo, poyankhula ndi ena ambiri; kucheza ndi alendo pamipata yonse yomwe angapeze, etc.
Chachiwiri ndikudziyimira. Muyenera kuwona nkhani iyi: "Kukhulupirira wina amakukondani kapena sakonda inu: Zokhazikitsa zomwe zikhulupiriro zimakwaniritsidwa". Kafukufukuyu adapeza kuti, Winawake akakhulupirira kuti munthu winawake amawakonda, atatha kucheza ndi mlendo uyu, Winawake amamukondadi. Komanso, Munthu Wopangidwayo adakondanso Winawake. Adawonetsanso zotsatira zofananira. Zimalimbikitsa ntchito zina zomwe zidachitika mzaka za m'ma 40, pomwe lingaliro loti anthu okhala ndi maulosi omwe amakwaniritsa lokha adawonetsedwa kuti aliko, ndikuti anthu ayesa kukwaniritsa maulosi awa. Ndikuganiza kuti ndizomwe makampani onse othandizira amamangidwapo. Chifukwa chake, chithunzi changa ndikuganiza chimaseweranso gawo lalikulu. Kukhulupirira kuti munthu ndi wokondedwa (kudziona kuti ndiwodzikonda) kumapangitsa kuti anthu azilumikizana nawo, kuwalemekeza, kudalira kwambiri, ndi zina zambiri.
Gawo lotsatira kwa ine ndikuyesa kuyamba kugwiritsa ntchito zinthu izi m'moyo wanga watsiku ndi tsiku. Zinthu monga: kukhala ndi chikhulupiliro kuti ndine wochezeka, munthu wofunda, ndi zina .; ndikukhulupirira kuti ena amandikondadi monga munthu; kuwona anthu ngati ochezeka komanso ofunda. Ili ndiye gawo lovuta lomwe ndapeza, chifukwa ndikubweza zaka zambiri zamalingaliro olakwika. Zinthu izi sizimayenderana, ndikusintha chimodzi, ndikuganiza, kubweretsa kusintha kwina - komanso m'mbali zina za moyo wanu.
Kuganiza, ndikuganiza, kulinso vuto chifukwa zimapangitsa kuti munthu akhale ndi mwayi wochita bwino pazinthu izi. Sindimacheza kwambiri ndikamagwiritsa ntchito zolaula, zomwe zimasokoneza kukula kwanga ngati munthu wophunzirira kuyanjana bwino ndi ena; kudzidalira kwanga ndikotsika, ndipo kudziona kuti ndine wotsika, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti kuyanjana sikuyenda bwino (ndi alendo, osachepera), izi zimachepetsa kudzidalira kumandipititsa ku zolaula. Kuzungulira koipa, koipa.
Chachitatu ndi chakuti nthawi zina sizimagwirizana ndi munthu wina. Ngakhale ine ndikuganiza kuti izi ndizosowa, ndipo ngati wina ndi wachikondi, munthu wodalirika, vuto liri mwina lawo. Komanso, palibe chimene angachite pa izi.
Mnyamata wina:
Chitani mtundu uliwonse wa zochitika. SIYENERA kukhala pagulu. Itanani mnzanu. Ndizothandiza kwambiri. Tumizani mnzanu mameseji. Pitani pang'ono. Ikani malo ogulitsira khofi ndipo anthu akuwonera kapena kuwerenga buku lomwe mumakonda. Gwiritsani ntchito nokha. Ngati simunazolowere kucheza nawo, chitani pang'onopang'ono. Simungathe kucheza nthawi zonse, koma nthawi zonse mumangokhala pafupi ndi anthu - pitani pamalo opezeka anthu ambiri, malo ogulitsira pazenera, pitani ku Best Buy ndikuyesa ukadaulo watsopano / makompyuta / ndi zina zambiri. Onani zomwe zili kunja uko.
Malangizo ochokera kwa membala wachikazi:
Kodi mudaganizapo zodzalowa nawo mkalasi kapena gulu momwe mumakhala mutu wankhaniyi momwe akazi amapezekera? Kungakhale kothandiza kupeŵa kuchita manyazi poyambitsa kukambitsirana kuyambira pomwepo. Makalasi ngati yoga, reiki, salsa, kuyimba, kusinkhasinkha ndi kuvina kokometsera 5 nthawi zambiri amakhala odzaza ndi akazi osati amuna ambiri. Chofunika kwambiri ndikuti nthawi zambiri azimayi amakonda anyamata omwe amakonda izi!
Mkazi winanso anati:
Nazi zomwe ndikuchita: Ndili ndi anzanga osakwatiwa, chifukwa chake ndikubweranso ndikumakumananso nawo. Ndikutanthauza kuti m'malo mokomera nawo foni komanso Facebook, ndikumana nawo pamasom'pamaso. Ndipo ngati mzanga akandiitanira ku konsati kapena kuwerenga, ndipita (ngakhale zitakhala zotsika mtengo) chifukwa mwina ndikumananso ndi anthu ena opanga omwe amakhala ndikugwira ntchito mumzinda uno. Ndikugwiranso ntchito kuti ndituluke mnyumba mwanga. Ndili ndi laputopu, chifukwa chake ndimatha kukonzekeretsa, kulemba mwachinyengo kwinakwake kupatula nyumba yanga. Ndili ndi galu wokongola yemwe amakonda kukomana ndi anthu, chifukwa chake ndimakhoza kumubweretsa kumapaki ndikumugwiritsa ntchito poyambira kucheza.
Onani Meetup.com ya tawuni kapena dera lanu, kuti mutha kupeza magulu a anthu omwe ali ndi zokonda zofanana ndi zanu. Ndikupitirizabe kuzengereza, koma ndikufuna kukhazikitsa gulu la Meetup la owerenga cosplayers / anime mumzinda wanga, popeza kulibe.
Kukhala "wokhazikika" m'malo ena amabizinesi, mwachitsanzo, ku banki, supermarket, malo ogulitsa khofi, positi, kungakuthandizeni kuyanjana ndi anthu zomwe zimapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kucheza ndi alendo omwe mumawadziwa bwino.
Mnyamata wina akuti,
Mukhoza kuphunzira luso la anthu www.charismaarts.com ndi www.succeedsocially.com.
Onaninso zida zotsatirazi.