Masiku 100! (Nthawi yachiwiri!) - ndaphunzira chiyani?
Mfundo za 10 za Kubwezeretsa
M'munsimu muli mfundo zingapo zomwe zakhala ziri m'malo mwanga pakali pano komanso nthawi yanga yodziletsa. Kwa nthawi yomwe timatayika m'nkhalango, ndipo tifunika kupeza njira yathu, tigwiritseni ntchito mfundo izi (kapena zomwe zakugwiritsani ntchito) kuti mupeze njira yanu.
Mfundo zotsatirazi zakhala zikuchitika pa zochitika zanga zomwe ndakhala nazo kuyambira ndikulowa ku Reboot Nation kumbuyo kwa November wa 2014, ndipo ndatuluka kuchokera ku crucible kuti ndiwagwiritse ntchito nthawi yeniyeni. Izi zogwira ntchito mwakhama zingasinthe khalidwe lililonse loipa kuti abwererenso. Chiyembekezo changa ndi chakuti angathe kuthandizira pazomwe mukuchita.
1. Musaganize za izi.
Izi ndi zomwe zafotokozedwa kuti Porn SI CHOMWE CHIMACHITIKA . Ndingatchule kuti 'Porn siilipo', monga momwe Underdog akunenera m'nkhaniyi.
Timakonda kuganizira za izi- nthawi zonse! Malingana ngati tizikumbukira, timabwerezanso zenizeni (motero ndizotheka) mukuzindikira kwathu.
Maganizo kawirikawiri amakhala zochita, nayenso.
Tsopano sitingaletse malingaliro onse omwe angabwere, koma awa atha kuthetsedwa mosavuta komanso mwachangu momwe amadza. Ndipamene timalola malingaliro kuti achepere pomwe amakhala ovuta kuchotsa. "Simungaletse mbalame iliyonse kuuluka pamwamba, koma mutha kuletsa kuti isamange chisa m'mutu mwanu" - monga akunenera mwambiwo.
Yesetsani kusaganizira za izo, osati poyesera kuti musatero, koma poganizira zinthu zabwino ndi zopindulitsa.
2. Musamachite manyazi.
Kwa ine, chomwe chinapangitsa manyazi oopsa pamutu pake chinali chisomo cha Mulungu chosasakanizidwa, chosasakanizidwa ndi malamulo kapena zamalamulo. Pakuvomereza kuti machimo anga onse akhululukidwa, kuphatikiza machimo onse amtsogolo, m'malo mondipatsa chilolezo chakuchita zachiwerewere, zidakhala ndi zotsatirapo zina.
Kuphatikizidwa ndi izi sikutanthauza kusokoneza bongo kwanu. M'malo moziponyera ngati zolondola kapena zolakwika (ngakhale atakhala), ganizirani za iwo m'njira zodzimvera chisoni. Dzimvetseni nokha, zovuta zanu ndi zofooka zanu. Osadzitsutsa, ngakhale mutagwa. M'malo mokhala mdani wanu woyipitsitsa, muyenera kukhala achifundo kwambiri kwa inu nokha.
Bwanji ngati wina sali wachipembedzo? Ndikuganiza chimodzimodzi. Tikhoza kukhala achifundo kwa ife eni, ndi kukhululukira zaife-ziribe kanthu. Kunyada koopsa kumangokhalira kuledzera!
3. Pangani inu watsopano, osati wakale kupatula PMO.
Chinsinsi cha kusintha ndiko kuyang'ana mphamvu zanu zonse, osati kumenyana ndi zakale, koma pomanga zatsopano.
~ Character 'Socrates', Way of the Peaceful Warrior: Buku Limene Limasintha Miyoyo ndi Dan Millman
Izi zikugwirizana ndi zomwe zili pamwambapa, osaganizira za izo. M'malo mwake, tili otanganidwa kwambiri - osati kungomanganso miyoyo yathu, komanso kupanga moyo watsopano, wopanda PMO . Izi sizikutanthauza kuti, "Ndiyenera kusiya izi ndi izi, ndikuchita zina ...", m'malo mwake ndikungoyang'ana kwambiri kuchita zina.
Uwu ndi mwayi wanu! Zinthu zonse zomwe mumafuna kuchita, koma zolaula ndi maliseche zomwe zidakugwerani, zakuberani mwayi wamwamuna, luso lamwamuna, tsopano mutha kukhala ndi mphamvu zobwereranso ndikukonzanso moyo womwe mwakhala mukufuna. Masomphenya a moyo uno akuyenera kukugwirirani nthawi iliyonse yomwe mukudzuka, ngakhale mutagona. 'Chilengedwe chimadana ndi chotupa', ndichifukwa chake timakhala osuta pachiyambi, zopanda pake zamkati. Ino ndi nthawi yoti mudzaze ndi masomphenya ndi zochita kwa inu atsopano.
4. Gwiritsani ntchito zolimbikitsa / zolimbikitsa mu nthawi yeniyeni kuti mupeze kudziletsa.
Apa ndipomwe ndidagwirapo ntchito ndi ERP (kuteteza-kuyankha-kupewa), kapena chithandizo chamankhwala. Ngakhale, sikuyenera kukhala chizolowezi cholamulidwa, koma munthu amatha kugwira ntchito ndi zomwe zimayambitsa (kupsinjika kwakunja ndi nkhawa zamkati), komanso zolimbikitsa / mayesero munthawi yeniyeni, m'zochitika zenizeni m'moyo. Kupatula apo, tikufuna kutsanzira zochitika zenizeni m'moyo wathu momwe tingathere, kuti tichite izi tsiku ndi tsiku.
Izi ndizochita momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito zofuna zanu. Osati sitima zambiri zanthawi yomwe zinthuzi zimawerengedweratu, munthawi yotentha. Kodi mumatani pamene mtima wanu ukugunda, ndipo mtima wanu ukukwera, komanso kupuma kwanu kuli kotsika? Kodi timadziwanso momwe thupi lathu limayankhira zinthu zikatilimbikitsa? Kodi timadziwa tikakhala otanganidwa?
Kodi mukudziwa kuti ino ndi nthawi yomwe muthane? Dziwani kuti mutha kulamulira, osati chizolowezi chanu. Tsatirani dzina la AWARE kuti mugwire nawo munthawi imeneyi, kaya zolimbikitsa, kapena ngakhale malingaliro ndi zikumbukiro zikubwera m'mutu mwanu:
AWARE
A - Kuvomereza. Khalani olandira, ngakhale kulandila nkhawa, zilakolako kapena maloto;
W- Wosamala. Yang'anirani ngati wowonera wakunja popanda kuweruza, mwachifundo komanso kumvetsetsa.
A- Chitanipo kanthu. Chitanipo kanthu pa malingaliro awa, ponena za kupuma mozama, kukhala chete panthawiyo.
R- Bwerezani. Bwerezani masitepe 1-3, mpaka kumvererako kutatha.
Yembekezerani . Dziwani kuti nkhawa, zoyambitsa, kapena zilakolako izi zidzabwera, koma khalani ndi chiyembekezo choti mudzazithetsa bwino.
5. Tsatirani malamulo awiri achiwiri kuti musokoneze chilakolako / voyeurism.
Nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndikudzifunsa kuti kodi mzere wovuta komanso wosavuta pakati pakuyamikira mkazi chifukwa cha kukongola kwake ndi chilakolako chenicheni, chomwe chimabweretsa maliseche komanso / kapena zolaula. Ndinkadziwa kuti pali malo omwe ndingayamikire kukongola kwawo, osangokhala achilakolako, kapena okonda kulankhula, koma ndikayamba kuganiza motere, pamapeto pake ndimayamba kukhumbira mosazindikira - kapena nthawi zina osazindikira.
Dziloleni kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yachiwiri yomwe mungayang'ane, koma mutembenuzire maso anu. Izi zimafunika pang'ono, koma posakhalitsa mupeza kuti zimangobwera zokha. Nthawi zambiri sindimatenga masekondi awiriwo, ndimangoyang'ana kutali. Ngati mukumva nkhawa zakukwera, nenani pagulu, ndiye kuti muchepetseko ndikuzama kupuma kwanu.
Lamulo lachiwiri lachiwirili ndi losiyana ndiye nenani, 'kuzigwedeza zoyera', kuyesera kuti musasirire chilichonse chomwe chikuyenda, kuwopa kuwona mkazi, osagwera m'malingaliro okonda kutengekawo. Lamulo lachiwiri lachiwiri likuti, "Chabwino, mutha kuwona mkazi wokongola, ndikuthokoza kukongola kwake - koma kwa masekondi awiri okha" - tsopano, imeneyo si nthawi yayitali, koma ndiyokwanira kuzindikira kukongola kwake, pomwe nthawi yomweyo kusokoneza zomwe zitha kukhala zobweretsa chilengedwe m'thupi lathu, pomwe ubongo wathu umayamba kumuwona ngati mnzake woti atha kukwatirana naye. Ndapeza kuti ngakhale nthawi yachiwiriyi, malingaliro anga amatha kukumbukira chithunzichi, koma sichinatenthe kwenikweni muubongo wanga. M'malo mwake, ndimakhala ndikudziletsa pagulu, ndipo zimafikira m'moyo wanga wachinsinsi. Mwanjira iyi, ndimatha kuyamikira kukongola osakuyesa ngati kugunda kwa dopamine, kapena china chake kuti ndipititse patsogolo mikhalidwe yoyipa mtsogolo.
6. Sikuti zonse zomwe zimapwetekedwa ndi kubwereranso, kupweteka kwakukulu monga maphunziro omwe anaphunzira osati zoperewera.
Izi zikunena za zomwe zimatchedwa Abstinence Violation Effect . Pali ochepa a ife pano omwe ali ndi njira yabwino komanso yothandiza yoyambitsiranso kapena kubwezeretsanso. Nthawi zambiri zinthu zimatha kulephera, ndipo tiyenera kukhala ndi dongosolo lokonzekera nthawi yomwe zimenezo zidzachitike.
Mmene timachitira ndi vuto lolephera zidzatsimikizira ngati tikuphunzira kuchokera ku maphunziro omwe aperekedwa, kapena ngati tibwerera m'mbuyo kwambiri. Kodi tingabwererenso ku khalidwe losalamulirika? Kapena, kodi talephera kudziletsa? Kodi pali njira ina yothetsera vuto lathu ? Kodi ndi yobwerezabwereza, kapena kubwerezabwereza machitidwe akale tsiku lililonse kapena sabata iliyonse kapena kawiri pa sabata?
Ndi kauntala yathu, kuyambiranso kwathu, koma dzidziwitseni kokwanira kuti kauntala yanu ikakonzedwanso. Inu nokha mutha kukhala woweruza wabwino kwambiri pazomwezo. Nthawi zonse chitani zomwe zikugwirizana ndi kuyesetsa kwanu kuchira komanso zolinga zanu, osatengera zomwe ena akuganiza.
Chofunika kwambiri ndi kuchira msanga kuchokera ku vuto la zolaula, osagwera mu dzenje la zolaula. Musamangokhalira kulephera, chifukwa zimenezo zingawononge khama lanu kwambiri.
7. Thandizani ena popanda kutsutsa, kukumbukira nthawi zanu zofooka.
Pali khalidwe lobisika lotchedwa kunyada , pamene mungakhale mukuchita bwino kwa nthawi yayitali, kenako mukuona ena akuvutika, akukonzanso ma counter awo masiku 10 aliwonse kapena kuchepera. “Amuna, ayenera kuti akuchita zoipa kwambiri. Kodi sangathe kukonza zinthu?!”, kapena, pamene ‘mukuwathandiza’, zimawoneka ngati kudzudzula kwa Papa, kugwedeza chala, ngati kuti mukumenya m’bale wanu kumbuyo kuti amvere mosawoneka.
Pali mitundu yambiri ya zizolowezi kunja uko, zina kutengera mtundu wamatenda osokoneza bongo (omwe sindimatsata), ndi ena omwe ali okhazikika mu sayansi yazikhalidwe, ndipo ena amachokera kuchipembedzo, pomwe zinthu izi atha kukhala okhathamira, monga momwe amandithandizira kwanthawi yayitali. Sizofanana zonse, pali malo njira zosiyanasiyana, zotsatira zake ndizofanana: kusiya zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche. Apanso, si onse omwe amavomereza kuti kuseweretsa maliseche ndi vuto (ndimaziwona choncho).
Nthawi zonse kumbukirani nokha mukamapita kukathandiza m'bale kapena mlongo wovuta kapena wofooka. Imani pafupi ndi iwo, kuwathandiza iwo, osayima pa iwo, kuwatsitsa iwo.
8. Gwiritsani ntchito njira zamalingaliro kuti mupange njira yatsopano yothetsera vuto, kupyolera mu kupuma ndi kusinkhasinkha.
Fundo iyi itha kukhala nambala 1, itha kukhala manambala 1-10, chifukwa m'zonse zomwe timachita, tiyenera kukumbukira.
Kusamala ndi… Kumvetsera mwachidwi mwanjira inayake: mwadala, pakali pano, komanso mosaweruza – Jon Kabat-Zinn
Kusamala ( sati , m'chilankhulo cha Chipali) kumatanthauzidwa ngati kukhala wodziwa, kukhalapo, komanso kukumbukira mfundo zazikulu kapena ziphunzitso zazikulu zomwe zingathandize kutanthauzira bwino zomwe zikuchitika, momwe mukumvera, kapena malingaliro anu.
Kusamala ndi 'kuganiza bwino' monga momwe tafotokozera mu Noble Eight Fold Path, ndipo machitidwe ake amaletsa munthu 'kubadwanso mwatsopano', kutanthauza, kubwezeretsanso malingaliro kapena mapulani omwe amatsogolera ku ukapolo ndi kuvutika.
Zingatheke kutipweteketsa mtima, zochitika zimatha kupita ku haywire ndipo zimakhala zosasinthasintha, komanso kufunikira kuti tipewe zonsezi, kuti tipewe izo, kudziletsa tokha kuvutika ndi kupanikizika kwa izi, ndikutsika ndi kofupikitsidwa ndi kupuma, kukhala kumvetsetsa, kuzindikira, kukumbukira mfundo zomwe kutanthauzira moyenera kutanthauzira ndi kufotokozera mkhalidwe uno.
Timaphunzira kulingalira mwanjira mwa kusinkhasinkha, kungokhala munthawiyo osaganizira malingaliro. Ngati malingaliro / malingaliro abwera, sitilimbana nawo, timangowasiya osaweruza kuti apitilize, ndikuika chidwi chathu pakadali pano. Chizolowezi ichi chimafikira muzochitika zathu zapanthawi.
Khalani ololera kukhala njira yanu yatsopano yogonjera.
9. Chenjerani ndi kugwera mu lingaliro lakale ndi kachitidwe kachitidwe, makamaka atatha kutuluka kuchokera kuchitali chautali.
Ngakhale timayesetsa kwambiri, ngakhale patadutsa nthawi, tifunikira kudziwa za malingaliro ozikika mozama, kapena mayankho omwe taphunzira pazovuta zosiyanasiyana. Mwinanso titha kuthana ndi mayi wovala mopepuka pa chikwangwani, koma abwana athu omwe angatikalipire atha 'kuyambitsa' njira zina zomvekera bwino komanso mayankho amthupi omwe angatiike pachiwopsezo chachikulu. Gwiritsani ntchito izi molingana ndi mfundo zina zomwe zaperekedwa pamwambapa, koma dziwani.
Zikachitika kuti munthu watha nthawi yayitali, zimawoneka zovuta kwambiri kutuluka mumtsinjewo ndikukhazikitsanso mulingo wopambana womwe tidangogwiritsa ntchito tsiku limodzi kapena awiri apitawa. Mwinamwake tinkaganiza kuti tinanyambita, ndipo tinakhala ngati 'ozungulira' mpaka kumapeto kwa dzenje lolaula kudzera mwa omwe amalowa m'malo mwa zolaula, zilizonse zomwe mungakhale nazo, mpaka titagwa. . Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, samalani ndi izi, chifukwa ndizovuta kwambiri kubwerera ku 'zachilendo' zanu zomwe zikuopsezedwa, ndipo ndife mdani wathu woyipitsitsa. Zonsezi ndimomwe timasankhira kutanthauzira zomwe zidachitika, ngakhale titangobwerera, kapena kupitilizabe kukhazikitsanso kapena kukonzanso njira zakale za neural.
Bwezerani mwachangu momwe mungathere, ndipo fotokozani zonse zomwe mudapambana, sizinatayike. Kupita patsogolo konse sikutayika. Bwererani mwachangu kuzomwe zidagwira kale, ndipo osadzipweteka nokha. Muli bwino kuposa izi!
10. Chenjerani ndi mphamvu ya maganizo oipa ndi maganizo omwe amakhudza makhalidwe.
Fufuzani ubwino wa CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), ndipo zindikirani momwe malingaliro athu, malingaliro, ndi machitidwe athu zimagwirizanirana kwambiri, kutengera zikhulupiriro zapadziko lonse lapansi zomwe tili nazo kwa ife eni, ena, komanso mtsogolo.
Yambani kudzidziwa nokha, Dzidziweni Nokha , monga momwe mawu olembedwa pamwamba pa Kachisi kwa Apollo ku Delphi amanenera. Samalani maganizo anu, kodi akutsatira njira ina yoipa? Kodi mukutenga maganizo anu mozama kwambiri? Nanga bwanji za malingaliro anu, kodi muli mu mkhalidwe woipa? Kodi muli ndi chisoni, kapena muli ndi nkhawa (mukuchita mantha), kapena muli osangalala? Ngati maganizo anu ndi oipa, fufuzani chifukwa chake.
Osatengera malingaliro anu kapena malingaliro anu mopepuka, chifukwa izi zitha kukuikani pachiwopsezo chotayika. Muyenera kudziwa chomwe chapangitsa kuti malingaliro / malingaliro osalimbikitsawa abuke, ndikubwerera ku chisangalalo ndi chiyembekezo posachedwa. Onerani mphekesera, kuganiza ndikuganiza zamavuto anu- zomwe zimayambitsa ndi zotsatira zake, koma popanda mayankho. Izi zimatitsogolera m'mikhalidwe yolakwika.
Moyo wathu (wamaganizidwe) umapangidwa ndi chifuniro (chifuniro), luntha (malingaliro) ndi chidwi (zotengeka). Kudzera mu chifuniro chathu, titha kuwongolera malingaliro athu molunjika, koma malingaliro athu mwa njira ina. Chifukwa chake, ngati takwiya, kapena tili achisoni, sitingangodula zala zathu, ndipo tatuluka. Koma, ngati tingasinthe malingaliro athu posintha chidwi chathu (pazinthu zabwino, zokhala ndi chiyembekezo komanso chisangalalo), malingaliro athu pambuyo pake adzatsatira.
Ndikuyembekeza kuti izi ndi dalitso, ndipo zothandiza kwa inu.
LINK - Mfundo Khumi Zokhudza Kuchira
NDI – Leon (sola gratia)