Rebooting Accounts

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Rebooting to end porn addiction"Give someone a neurotransmitter and they’ll feel good for an hour; teach someone to grow more receptors and they’ll feel good all the time."--Todd Becker

In the links below the text you will find numerous first-hand accounts of people's rebooting (recovery) experiences. When possible the name of the rebooting account starts with the age. You'll also see a lot of 90-day reports. A common misconception is that YBOP suggests 90 days as a rebooting period. It doesn't. Lengths vary because goals vary. Many choose to write up a report at 90 days, but note that most have relapsed several times before achieving a 90-day streak.

Many more recovery accounts are found in these six sections, and scattered throughout the website:

  1. This page contains links to off-site blogs and threads chronicling recovery from porn addiction.
  2. A few 90-Day+ Reports from reddit.com NoFap
  3. This page contains "advice columns" written by recovering porn addicts
  4. Shorter stories describing recovery from porn-induced ED
  5. The Other Porn Experiment - Below the article read several pages of short stories and "rebooting accounts"
  6. In addition, there are many mini-accounts in What benefits do people see as they reboot?

This seems to be a typical feature of recovery:

I am proud of living without PMO for two weeks. I'm single but I rely on friends, family, yoga, massage, exercise, and breathing to get by each day. I am learning many natural ways of relaxing and coping with my brain and environment. I'm more relaxed, generous, and appreciative with people. However, I feel great pain, lethargy, apathy, sadness, frustration and loneliness sometimes. The frequency and duration of my time in the Pits is definitely decreasing. There's a lot of comfort remembering that, whenever my dopamine needle drops real low. One problem with improvement is that we forget how messed up we were when we started. LOL

Rebooting is not linear (repeat this slowly, several times) - That is, each day isn't better than the last. There are ups and downs, although the trend over time is upward. Meanwhile, neurochemically induced mood swings (The Pits) continue for a while. Some people say these mood swings don't decrease in severity for a long while (graph by young rebooter). What changes is that they decrease in frequency, and they pass more quickly when they happen. So it gets easier and easier to just let them pass, and to turn to a healthy distraction (exercise, socializing, a rewiring exercise, doing something productive, and so forth).

Also, watch out for the good days:

Some of my relapses in fact happened on quite successful/happy days, like my mind was on some kind of dopamine rush and slipped to the porn without me having noticed. So keep in mind, self-control is always necessary, even if everything seems to be going just fine.

This man decided to graph his rebooting experience:

I've done 3 graphs, mood on y-axis, day since last MO on x-axis. First is the raw data, not surprisingly very choppy. Shows non-linearity nicely. The other two are rolling 3-day average and rolling 6-day average. Non-linearity still apparent. Note: I didn't know what to put for the first 5 days because they were all over the place, so I just put alternating 8 and 0.

Raw data graph

3-day rolling graph

 

6-day rolling graph

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone's experience is somewhat different. It's an adventure to observe how the changes in the brain show up in your body and emotions. Said one guy:

All of these forces are at work: Erections, morning erections, orgasm/urge to orgasm, feeling of horniness etc. I feel like during the rewiring, these forces have all been there, but they are all kind of marching to their own beat. There have been times where I had the urge to O but wasn't horny and didn't have an erection. There have been times when I have felt really horny and felt nothing downstairs. There have been long spans of days where I would wake up with an erection and, after it was gone, I would be in complete flatline the rest of the day. But days like day 16, my brief relationship from days 22 to 35, and most importantly day 48 have shown me that things start working more harmoniously as time goes on.

Comments

First I'll tell you my background, and how I ended up in this sad state. English is not my first langauge.

I'm 29 years old now, and got my first glimpses of porn as an 11 year old. During puberty I found some VHS tapes, and at 16 I had access to my own computer with internet porn.

During my youth I was often nervous, angsty, and struggeling with anger an anxiety. As I moved away from home, with a 10mbit internet connection, I compensated more and more with porn.

In my first encounters with girls my penis never responded naturally. This was true even as a 22 year old. The presence of a girl alone could not get me hard, because I was a chronic mastrubator. I could mastrubate 10 times a day, 16 hours a day, and I'm really not kidding. At 24 I finally lost my virginity, and had to manually stimulate myself to rise to the occasion.

I settled down with a girlfriend, meanwhile keeping up with my porn habbits. She was a very complicant woman, and let me stimulate myself to get hard by every intercourse. Consequently I didn't see the signals of danger.

Our relationship ended after a while (for entirely other reasons) meanwhile my porn use escalated, with more and more extreme genres and content. And it became increasingly difficult to get hard. As a consequence, I sought even more bizarre genres within the porn world.

In frustration that my penis wouldn't respond anymore, I tried mastrubating forcefully when it was limp. I pinched my glans between my thumb and index finger, and managed to hurt myself, badly. My penis was numb for weeks, and now I have a painful scar on my glans with possible blood clotting and nerve damage. It had to go that far for me to realize I had a problem.

I tried to cut down on my use, but found that I needed my "fix" to operate in everyday life. To sleep I mastrubated, and every morning I would do the same. I had an ONS, and really struggled to get hard, even with stimulation. The girl expressed that she had never experienced anything like it.

So now I find myself in the situation that now, being far more attractive to women than I was in my acne ridden, angst ridden teenage years, am almost completely unable to have sex with them, at least in a normal way.

It is said that humans are not punished for their sins, but by them. I'm currently getting to know a wonderful girl. She has sent me all the signals, but I have avoided even kissing her because I know I can't function at all. My hope is that I'm able to recover, and get with her later...

In desperation over my condtion, I stumbled upon this site. I realized everything that had plagued me since my early years. When I read about ED before, I was always told that it was psychological, and that mastrubation was only good. My doctor ignored me/got angry when I tried to tell him about my problem. I had a nervous breakdown, which led me to believe I was terminally ill. It turns out I am completely healthy physically, only my mind is warped. Consequently my doctor wouldn't acknowledge I have this problem.

I read somewhere about a guy considering himself on the top 5% of worst cases, having made a succesful recovery. I am certainly one of them, and hope to do the same. The problem is that my brain has never had a normal sexuality, I have no original state to recover into. The last time I had nightly erections and wet dreams was at 18, in the military (away from porn)

Now, with 15 days of no porn, mastrubation, or anything else, my libido has flatlined. At first my penis felt cold and shriveled, almost dead. Now it's just there, with almost no reactions to it. Some days when I have fantasized, or slept in bed, it has gotten like 5-10% erect, but nothing else. I'm sure I could get it hard if I stimulated myself, but I would have to struggle. I have no desire at all. I've also had some mood swings, hyperventilating, tightening of my muscles, and crying at random times (alone fortunately)

I am determined to go through with this. I want to have my life back. I realized I have destroyed my life with using porn as a drug. Hopefully my penis will heal so it won't be painful anymore, and be functional again.

I'll keep you updated about my progess. If there's hope for me it's hope for anybody. Right now it seems hopeless though.

Any comments about similar experiences would be appreciated. I have to believe that my desire and erectile functionality will return, at least to some degree.

I can't really comment on any damage done directly to your penis, but I can comment on your brain desensitization that is at the root of porn-induced ED. It can heal. The brain is very plastic. Since yours is a long standing condition it may take awhile, so be patient.

"Flat-lining" libido, as you have read, is typical. How long you will feel this way we cannot say. We have had men who have been using porn for 20-30 years, with severe ED, recover.
I believe you can too. I suggest going to the support page above and find a forum (or several) to visit. Ours is the reuniting forum. You cane read others accounts and blog yourself, and get support and insight from other men recovering from porn.

Your description of the medical profession response is typical and drives us nuts. It's one of the main reasons so many men end up with porn-induced ED and addiction. They don't understand how the novelty of Internet porn affects the dopamine system.

This is my 15th day of no PMO. Actually, this is the second time I try to abstain after one month of success and then I relapsed for 4 or 5 times. Because it is the second time, I find it easier to control my mind : no more craving for porn or masturbation, higher confidence, more free time... However, sometime I feel sad and lonely and do not want to do anything.
The biggest problem to me is nocturnal emissions; I have had 3 times for 15 days although sometime I do not have sex dreams, just wake up and realize that it just happened.

Congratulations on this and your previous attempt. Nocturnal emissions seem to slow down after a bit. But if not, don't worry about it. Do you have ED? The real forum/blogs for this site are on reuniting - http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

good luck

Thanks for your reply. This website is awesome ; it not only provides me with a lot of useful information but also give me belief that I will recover by reading others' successful stories. I have ED. Previously, I attributed my ED to masturbation but now I realize that it's because of porn. Before having any education of this problem, I somehow know that my ED is due to P or M or both, but it is so enjoyable so that it is difficult to quit. Now with my new knowledge, I am determined to quit P and M and change my life.

Thank you for your post, I wish you the best of luck. Truly hope you succeed. At first, when I came across this site, I was a bit skeptical to say the least. The new experiences and situations that I had found myself in once I had quit was most definitely amazing. Do not lose hope, like a steam train, it takes time to get going, but once you've gotten up to a certain speed, you just fly on forwards. I had a relapse a week ago, a bad one at that. I found myself gradually going back into old ways and persuaded myself it was because of other reasons when in actual fact I know in my heart of hearts that it was because I had PMO'd. Once again, hope you succeed.

I guess the subject line says the best part! It's weird, I have tried to quit porn before but this is the first time it felt so easy. I have been posting about this on another site and mentioned that I have had porn dreams where I start to view porn and in my dreams I stop myself because I am trying to stay off porn. Also, the porn dreams went from internet porn to magazines to fantasy, which is the reverse order of my porn/fantasy development. By the way, this time around with porn reminds me of when I quit marijuana use many years some 18 years ago. I had tried before but at one point I just decided to stop and did successfully stop. This website, and it's video's, helped me put the pieces together and it has been great.

I have a question. I am 51 years old and I think that I suffered from porn related ED for most of my adult life. I have not regained morning wood at this point. Do you think that doing Kegel exercises will help this? I know Kegel's are good for male genital health. Do you think that doing Kegel's may increase the risk of relapse?

Most men recovering from porn-induced ED incorporate kegel exercises. Makes sense as it is commonly given as advice to help with ED. I haven't heard anyone say that Kegels caused a relapse. Will it speed the process? No one knows, but it's probably a good thing for most guys over 45. Unless, of course, someone has muscle tension (myofascial trigger points) in their pelvic floor muscles. Ultimately, the brain needs to heal for porn-induced ED

I am a 53 y/o man. Today marks 28 days without PMO!! Like most, I have always had a problem with porn - nothing too serious, but over the years, I just like watching people have sex. My problem escalated about 18 months ago when I got high speed internet. All of a sudden, I went from just viewing pictures online, to viewing videos and movies online instanteously. I never really gave it much thought, but after almost daily viewing, sometimes even benging for hours on end watching porn videos, I really began to notice a change in my own personal sex life with my wife. I had never really had any ED problems at all. But when ever my wife and I would start to have sex, I could not get an erection. Sometimes I would get one, but then it would quickly start getting soft. Sex has been almost non-existant for us. My wife is kind and gracious and says, "That's alright." Oh that is comforting ... almost!! So on May 17, I was on my way to my "favorite" porn site to watch more video clips, and somehow found this site. Watching the "Your Brain on Porn" video series and reading other post have helped encourge me along the way. I have had some temptations, but I always make sure I stop by here first and read new post or even re-read old post to help me stay focused. So far so good. This morning I was at a sports web site and there was a picture of a girl in a bikini on one of the banners - for the first time in a long time, my penis started to make a move toward an erection. So maybe this is a move in the right direction. I find it interesting, that even when I would watch porn videos, 95% of time, I could not get an erection!! Even when I tried to masturbate to a video, my penis never got full erect.
Hey men, we're in this together! Let's continue to help and encourage one another. Even though I don't know any of you, your words of encouragement have helped me.

28 days is great. Your story really drives home one of our main points we hammer when trying to educate sexologists: high speed Internet changes everything about porn use. Thanks for posting that piece.
Did you know that the real forum for this site is here - http://www.reuniting.info/tracker
You can receive a lot more support, advice , and follow others journey's on the reuniting site.
keep on going, gary

Just like a puzzle that has one last piece to be put in, your site has given me the ability to take a step back and view 'the big picture'. You have heard it all before- I started looking at pornography around the age of 15- a new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition or a Victoria's Secret magazine made homework a far cry on my list of 'to-do's'. Since then, my addiction has grown up with me- the stash of Playboy's in our garage was the next step. My parents did their best- the computer was in the living room, and my dad would lecture me on the harms of pornography- on how it casts women in a negative light- how it was against our faith. By that time, however, I was in too deep- there was a bounty of website that sat at my fingertips- like an explorer set out to discover new lands. I took it upon myself to find the 'newest' and 'best' porn, making a folder on my laptop that was to become my digital treasure chest.

When just looking wasn't enough, I discovered that you could actually pay to call a girl and have her tell you everything you wanted to hear- your wildest, darkest, and most extreme fantasies could be spoken to you in the blink of an eye. What started out as an innocent boy getting butterflies on p.8 of the Macy's Lingerie Sale insert turned into a grown man with a skewed view of attraction, beauty, and pleasure.

I sit here as a 25-year-old- with a full-time job, a postgraduate degree, and a girlfriend that is the love of my life- ready to say sorry to that little boy 10 years ago. Tomorrow will be day 6 with no porn, masturbation, or orgasm. Yea, it's a far cry from what some of you have done, but you have to start somewhere :) As Gary wrote, my willpower came from realizing- after stumbling upon this site- that my struggle to maintain an erection during sexual contact is linked to my porn use. I'm not even sure if you can call it ED, but I was noticing that it just didn't feel right, so it was time for a change. As somebody wrote earlier, it was time to say bye to my porn, which was difficult. It had been with me LITERALLY as I grew up- through high school, my days away from college, my experience in the work world, etc. It was there during the days I was bored, it was there when my parents would 'leave the house to me' as they went out for the night, it was there after failed relationships, and even there to help me celebrate. People could name what actress was in a certain movie, but I knew the names of the porn stars that did certain genres. Looking back at the thought that I knew the names of more porn stars than mainstream actors disgusts me.

Anyways, this is the first I have ever spoken, written, or shared about my addiction to ANYBODY- both in the hopes that my story can help others, and to ask for your support as I change my life. In the past 6 days, my life has been so clear- I feel as if the fog has lifted. I interact better with people- I notice how a girl's curly hair can make her eyes pop, how a certain lipstick can make her skin glow. Instead of coming home during my lunch break to look at porn, I enjoy a walk and notice flowers I never even knew existed. My current girlfriend is a virgin- I have yet to tell her about my addiction, and am debating doing so. I figured that by the time she is ready, my brain will be well underway in the rebooting process. This fight is very personal to me, so I feel I need to deal with it as best as I can. I undertook this knowing it wasn't going to be easy- there has already been some insomnia and mild headaches mixed in. Yes, I have no sex drive right now and my penis is pretty much just there (I do get morning wood), but sensual thoughts about my girlfriend that translate to butterflies aren't turning into erections... yet :)

The toughest part, which I am struggling with the most, are the flashes of my favorite scenes and fantasies that have been ingrained in my mind. When they make their way in, I shove them back out, replacing it with a tranquil scene from my life. I think that's where a lot of the headaches come from- the constant struggle to fight my brain from showing me these images, which I want nothing to do with any longer. I do hope it gets easier, but for the most part, my positive attitude, my faith, and my desire to change my life and enjoy this relationship I am blessed with are all the willpower I need. And no, even though I am scared and worried that my penis pretty much has been MIA since going cold turkey, I won't be testing with porn.

To those who have posted before, and to Gary- in all honesty, thank you for saving my life. It may not have been that extreme, but without this site and your words, I don't know how I ever would have gotten back on track to discover the true meaning of love, desire, and attraction. I look forward to your support- wish me luck, and please feel free to share any advice you may have!!! Day 6 and going strong :)

Knights

The fact that you are already seeing changes is a good sign. It appears the time is now for you, with the love of your life in the picture. As you have read, your withdrawal symptoms are typical. Flashbacks, dead penis, insomnia and headaches are all part of the rebooting process. No need to test your equipment, because it's fine - it's your reward circuit that's a bit messed up. Keep reminding your self of that simple fact.

It will get easier, that, I can promise. Sharing is part of the healing process for many.

Continued success, gary

As of today I am at 8 weeks of no PMO. Last night was a challenge because it was the first time I really wanted to use porn and masturbate. I do not think I am ready for masturbation without porn or fantasy, so I will not try it. But I am starting to have more romantic/sexual dreams. They are not pornographic dreams, more loving sexual dreams about women I know or imagine. Another thing is last night I came home from a vacation. Traditionally I would not use porn when I was on vacation, even at my deepest stages of porn use. But when I got home I would binge. Well I did not use last night. But it was the most I wanted to in 8 weeks.

8 weeks no PMO!

I am going to start an exercise routine this week and may try some self hypnosis for rebooting and rewiring. I am also going to start working on getting out there and work on dating. It will get tougher, but I feel confident.

8 weeks is quite an accomplishment. I suspect you will continue to see positive benefits as days roll on. Learning to reward ourselves in more positive ways, which you are doing, is a struggle for all of us in the modern world.

A Bit about me: I’m almost 21 and have been watching porn since I was like 13 maybe 14. I only recently lost my virginity and thats when i released i had ED and luckily i foudn this site. I tried with 5 women and i had ED 4 times out of 5. The only reason i think i didnt suffer ED with one of them was that she made noises O.o which kept me in the mood i guess.

Ive pretty much always had morning wood and LOADs of random erections, its pretty much only a problem when i can actually have sex so maybe anxiety is helping to magnify my Porn ED problem, I also CAN NOT FEEL ANYTHING during sex if i can get it in i literally feel nothing...

Now my Experience:

So I’m at my 5th week and my recovery has been different to what I was expecting based off the info on the site.
I never really had this long period of no libido mine maybe last 1-2 days if I even had one that is. I haven’t really had any withdrawal either, accept i do feel my penis has shrunk O.o )

For me the easiest bits were weeks 1-3 especially during the daytime (usually browsed during day and used at night).

Week 4 boredom set in and it took will power to stop myself from browsing this is where it went downhill, without anything to do its becoming harder to not just browse around (don’t really care about using or watching any, just fell this powerful need to collect).

Night is the worst time for me now, I usually used porn before night to carm myself and kill my hornyness at night so I could fall asleep, otherwise I would be fighting to sleep for HOURS which is what I’m doing now, week 1-3 I could easily turn off fantasy because I was excited and motivated to beat my porn related ED. But now I fantasise for hours at night I don’t even realise I’m doing it until minutes in. (they aren’t porn fantasy's it’s pretty much of girls I know or seen)

And about 2 days ago I kind of relapsed, I browsed, but only pictures and allot of them went naked or fully naked ( So I don’t know if this was too bad but this somehow lasted like 1 HOUR!) so how much damage did I do to myself? Have I ruined weeks of no PMO?

And has any1 got tips for my sleeping trouble? I already go gym for like 2 hours; about 3-4hours before I sleep, but I don’t really get tired enough to sleep.

As you said, your problem may be mostly anxiety, as you get morning wood, and spontaneous erections, and you experienced only mild withdrawal symptoms. Or it could be a combo of some desensitization and some anxiety. They can feed into one another. I think porn may have been a portion of your problem, because you say you don't feel much sensation during intercourse.

Let's try to figure this out - answer please:
1) Compare the sensations of mastrurbation to intercourse. Any difference?
2) How's your erection when you masturbate using no porn, no fantasy, and normal speeds & presssures?
3) How does #2 above compare with masturbation to your favorite porn?

Insomnia is normal during withdrawal. Staying away from porn will help you in so many ways, including sex feeling good. So even if anxiety is the primary player, you know I'll suggest leaving porn behind.

Gary

1) Very different, with masturbation i can feel my hand on it i can feel the movement and pressure (i use a pretty tight grip and a fast pace) and stuff but with intercourse i feel Absolutely nothing, i feel the resistance when penetrating and once I’m in... Nothing I feel no movement at all and maybe a slight pressure, and when i finish there isn’t even an orgasm I just feel a short pulse from the head as it shoots its stuff and its over, not satisfying at all.
In comparison to masturbation i get an orgasm most of the time and i can go like 4-5 times in a row if I wanted to with maybe 2 minutes in between, but sex.. No chance it’s a onetime deal.

2) Never really do it without porn, when I do it’s not as strong or full and it doesn’t feel as good without porn. This is with Fantasy btw as i probably would lose the erection and or not finish.

3) #2 isn’t anything compared to a favourite porno, with a good porno my erections can be completely full and strong and can become very sensitive, but i find i get bored of them very quick and so the sensations are reduced and i have to find a new favourite.

caused by porn is a major part of the problem. A young man should have a strong erection masturabating to only sensation. As stated, it's not unusual to have performance anxiety (due to desnsitization) wrapped up with porn-induced ED.
It's time to give up porn and reboot your brain. Once you regain erectile health and penile sensitivity, your performance anxiety may drastically improve.

when I'm having an urge I've learned to say one thing to myself that has calmed me down. Will be helpful to most Christians. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Repeat the mantra and it seems to work for me. Then get busy doing something else. Read a book, watch a show, clean something, do laundry.

Today is the sixth day of successfully preventing myself from pmo. I have to admit that i feel terrible. Two days from now i am expected to have sex with a beautiful woman. We started developing feelings for each other since the beginning of this week. I hope that I am able to function. I started taking Extentz today and also I started using the kegel exercises. I really hope that this helps to speed up my recovery. Nevertheless, I am aiming to last through this abstainance of pmo for 60days. I am going for the full recovery; wish me luck.

The first three week is difficult to control your urge, after that, things become easier. If you are determined to go without PMO for 60days, I suggest you avoid having sex. It slows down the progress, as you can see there is an article on YBOP for this problem. I am on 20th day and I feel it is not too difficult to control my mind and I believe I can reach 30th day easily ( my second milestone; the first one is today.)

Hi everybody! I'm just a 14 year old who's trying to quit porn. I've been using porn since last year. And eventhough it's only been just a year, I already see how porn is affecting my life. And now, after months of struggling, I finally have some good news! :)

I went 2 weeks without PMO. :D I'm just stunned. I had never made it past 3 days in months, let alone 2 weeks! I don't know how I did it, but I managed to pull through. I really have to thank this website. I would never have done it without the advice and information on this website. ;)

Through out my 1st week, I had most of the usual withdrawal symptoms.(Slight fever, insomnia, lethargy, moodiness) At this point(today's my 15th day), most of my symptoms have gone. I think I'm going through the "dead dick" stage right now. Kind of concerned, but I try to distract myself from thinking to much about it.

The temptations are not as persistent as they were last time.They aren't constantly nagging at my head like they used too. They come occasiaonally(when I change and bath),and I've had a few close calls, so now I'm more alert. But I notice that whenever I do get these urges to watch porn, they are MUCH easier to ignore. I just randomly start counting the number of objects I see, and *poof*, no more horniness. ;)

And eventhough it's only been 2 weeks, I already notice some visible changes.

1) The pimples on my face have all but dissapeared.(With regular washing.)

2) I can sing better! XD Sounds weird, but I just LOVE singing. ( It's one of the ways I distract myself.) I've noticed that I can reach higher notes and can sing whole songs again and again. It's just awesome. This has become one of my incentives for quiting porn.

3) I look at girls in a WHOLE new perspective. Just last week,whenever I looked at girls, I would always check out their body first. BUT NOW, I don't really have that same urge(Find it quite disgusting actually). I prefer to look more at their faces now, and not so much at their body. (Which is REALLY GOOD.)

I still got a long way to go.Hopefully, as I last longer without PMO, I'll begin to notice more positive changes in me! :D My goal of reaching 3 weeks without PMO is becoming more and more realistic everyday.Its's just a matter of keeping my guard up, and keeping myself occupied with other things. (Recently found my long-lost painting set! :D Can't wait to try it out!) I'll also keep my progress updated.Bye! :D

I really appreciate you taking the time to describe what you have noticed. It's amazing that so many other guys notice changes in complexion and tone of voice. In addition, most guys experience viewing girls differently, and finding real girls more attractive.

Background: PMO from a young age (10). First magazines and movies. Internet from the age of 15. Now 31 and actually can't remember having MO without P. Had ED many times but always blamed the booze. I was a heavy drinker. Sober for about 4 years but still having the same problems. Just could't get horny from the 'normal' girls. And some of them were hot as hell. I could look at a naked body, touch it and feel absolutely nothing (besides anxiety). At the moment my body is in perfect condition. I'm in the gym 4 times a week. Eat and drink healthy. Actually I should have an E the size of the Eiffel Tower when I see a beautiful girl, but my best friend just isn't interested anymore. Except when I use internet P. When I stumbled upon this site I got hope for recovery and started my reboot. I've just started and will update my progress on a regular basis.

Week 1: Many ups and downs. My heart rate seems to go up and I feel a lot of pressure downstairs. I seem to forget things and even get dizzy sometimes. Today (Day 7) I had a terrible day. Felt like I could explode in anger anytime. Absolutely hated everybody at work and felt like nobody understood me. The feeling is gone now. I feel 'normal' again. I expected these side effects but experiencing them is always a bit more...how shall I say....challenging.

To be continued.

From your description you are in the right place and right on schedule. You can check out withdrawal symptoms under FAQ's and see anything and everything goes.
Good luck

I am about to turn 27 in about 6 months and it is crazy for me to realize that i have been masturbating/porn for half my life. Fortunately, after reading the bad effects of PMO in my life (addiction, short attention span, low self esteem), it seemed easy to drop the habit (at least for the first few weeks).

week 1 - i quit porn and didn't have any urges to look at internet sites. i distract myself with exercise and i am doing a mindfulness/awareness kind of program on the side (i think it helps).

week 2 - not really any difficulties.

week 3 - i'm getting really horny. i wake up with an erection and i sometimes can't help but imagine about having sex with my ex. i am even tempted to call her up. i'll try not to but if ever i do have sex in the near future i'll try not to have orgasm. when i have such thoughts i do fantasize a bit (for about a minute or two). but when i realize this i try my hardest to stop. I have a feeling that sex will be a lot more pleasurable. i feel that i will take my time with foreplay and fully enjoy the body and company of my partner.

i'll update this post when i have more progress. when this is all done i want to read my posts to remember what i was going thru.

the key (if you don't have ED) is to avoid porn. In other words, if you are experiencing true libido, and not addiction, and really need to masturbate - do so without porn or fantasy. At the same time, hunter-gatherer tribes exist that have no word for masturbation. See: WEIRD Masturbation Habits - http://yourbrainonporn.com/weird-masturbation-habits

This is my 6th day in my rebooting process, the first few days were really good and i almost had a relapse on the 4th day, but i happen to resist it ...but from since ive started i think my genitals have shunk considerably ..is somthing wrong with me

james

See This FAQ - "HELP! I quit porn, but my potency, genital size, and libido are decreasing"
http://yourbrainonporn.com/i-quit-porn-but-my-potency-and-libido-are-dec...

Explore this extensive FAQ, as it will answer all your questions on porn & ED - Is my erectile dysfunction (ED) related to my porn use?http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-question

Welcome,
Gary

i made 7 whole days and then on the 7 day i had a relapse and to be honest it dident even feel good as i thought it would, im soo dissapointed. felt like i have wasted my time and my progress..what should i do now, how should i start over

james

Relapse is normal. You haven't lost what you gained. See "tools for change" to address your computer and maybe other apsects of your life. To recover from an addiction you will need to do more than white knuckle it. You may want to address habits, thinking, and brain wellness. Lots of suggestions there.

Just start again. That's all.

thank you, i wasent sure if i should start tomorrow or wait some more days ... what is your best advice

james

This means that your primitive addict brain is rationalizing more porn use and masturbation.

Another aspect of addict think is = "I've screwed up so I might as well really go for it".

Yet another is black and white thinking: "I'm either using or clean" and nothing in between. If you choose to use porn tonight that will only reinforce your addiction pathways. If you wait and continue to binge, you will reinforce those pathways that much more.

Counting days is also black and white thinking, but it can be a double-edged sword. It can help or hurt, depending on how you employ it. You are using counting in a negative fashion. Your addict brain is saying -"since I'm back to day one, I might as well do some more because I have to start over anyhow......".

Your brain doesn't know number of days anymore than an obese persons brain knows number of days on a diet. It's calories consumed. For you it's how much you watch porn and masturbate.

The more you take either path, the further down that road you go.

so you're saying that i should start back my process tomorrow and throw the counting days out the door, because it can lead to worse outcomes?

james

because that's the only moment there is. A bit of zen for you. If counting helps you not use porn then count. Counting is all psychological, and has nothing to do with reality - your brain healing.

I'm surprised that it is already the 25th day. I'm trying to consciously not think of women as sex objects and not to judge beauty by looks alone. I think I am doing fine but I have a question.

Suppose the opportunity for sex comes up? What should one do while rebooting? Sex without orgasm? Decline sex? Cuddling?

You will have to make that choice, but if you have ED then it may be best to avoid orgasm, and perhaps  intercourse for a bit longer. You should not avoid cuddling, or arousal. See Rebooting with a partner

I had a wet dream today.

I've been thinking about the images I see in billboards/advertising/magazines and in television and I realized that some of them may qualify as soft porn. So i've been trying to avoid those kinds of images too.

I still haven't regained that 'horniness' that some people report. But it's been great overall since I don't really want to see porn anymore (and thus there is no guilt feeling).

The first time I had an orgasm (and it was to porn) was a totally unexpected event. I was 15 years old. It was to effing 3D Japanese porn. That is what I started off with. That feeling...it was like I had waited my entire life to experience something like that. Unfortunately, what started off so gloriously evolved to wreck my life.

So I was 15 years old when I first did it. It started as once in a while. Then it got to once per night. Then it got to several times per night. It eventually got to the point where if I turned off my computer, I would try MOing to the TV (at 2 AM on a schoolnight) and my desensitization would prolong the experience into an anxiety-filled 45-minute ordeal. Keep in mind that this was after I had already ejaculated a few times previously that night.

Last summer, I was between high school and college. I couldn't find a job, so guess what I did all day. At one point, it got so bad that I was sweating vigorous while chatting with a girl on Facebook. That's how much it exacerbated my social anxiety. For years, it had destroyed my social life and general mood. I didn't want to go out with anyone and I didn't really even try because I thought I had it all right there.

The tipping point was one night when I started college. I had ejaculated to porn 3 times that night, and by the third time, I realized everything was gone, every good feeling was good. I had to it, and it was no longer enjoyable to do.

I set out that day not to PMO, but I've had some speed bumps along the way.

I made it 3.5 weeks without anything and saw improvement in my social skills and how attracted I was to women (I had thought that I was gay or bisexual before, but I was really just addicted to porn). Unfortunately, I reverted back to porn. I'm now able to ejaculate with any aid, but I keep going back to porn. I think I'm just going to have to stop everything related to sex or orgasm for a few months. Even though I've seen most of if not all of the positive effects from rebooting, I still don't think I'm there, so I have to re-reboot. I now know that I'm addicted, and I'm now willing to do what it takes to stop.

Perhaps giving up orgasm for a while will solidify your reboot. I always thought that eliminating only porn would be sufficient, but I see many guys temporarily eliminating masturbation and orgasm. It's often what works.
Good luck

To James (and others)....

There are two ways to look at a failure. You can say "I messed up, I might as well give up", or you can recognize your mistake and keep moving forward.

Think of this like walking along the sidewalk and tripping. During mid-fall do you think "ahh I messed up" and put your hands behind your back and lean your face forward to eat the cement, or do you pinwheel your arms like mad and move your feet to catch your balance, straighten up, and keep walking down the street.

Only an idiot would pick the first option.

Recognize your mistake and promptly continue with your journey, or eat pavement, lie on the sidewalk, looking like a fool for everyone to see.

"But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward."
-Rocky

i am on my 14th day of no P, i noticed a lot of changes on the first week as my morning erection started to come back and spontaneous erections too but on the second week i MO for 2days,i hope that didn't slow my recovery process down a lot.I'm 24 yrs and i have been seeing internet porn for about 3 yrs but i just used it to M at night so as to relax, but i noticed my erection go down on my first sexual encounter.Everything was all fine and firm till the penetration and had no sensitivity at all down there, i partly attribute it to performance anxiety but after stumbling on your website i decided to quit PMO for atleast 30days.I will like to know your suggestions

All of our suggestions are here. See tools for change for suggestions on porn addiction recovery. Go to the porn FAQ, and read everything there. Check out rebooting accounts.
It's common to have performance anxiety mixed in with porn desensitization.

Be aware that 30 days is rarely enough if you truly have porn-induced ED. From your description, you may have a relatively mild case. Only time will tell.

Good luck.

30 days with no PMO. I am going to start dating again in three days as there is another 26 year old guy on here who fixed his porn induced ED after 33 days. I'm very confident that I will be able to have sex and orgasm thanks to my abstinence. I really think I can live without masterbating at all anymore. Abstaining gives me all the more reason to seek out women and that's where my sexual energies should be directed.

-S.

how it goes. The more accounts we have the better the info we present.

For academic purposes I would like to add a few things.

I have been seeing my new partner since september, but only at weekends, and therefore we have sex of some sort on a daily basis when we meet. This means I have been off internet sex for nearly 4 months, but not off masturbation, which I have practiced in some form with her. I have found that while I have improved in terms of stimulation (I have absolutely no more interest in internet porn) the ED problem has worsened. Whereas in the early rebooting with my partner period I was somewhat capable of penetrative sex, now I seem to have greater trouble.
Another interesting point is that much depends on the position: with her on top I last longer but cannot climax, with me on top I lose wood immediately, with doggy style I have some trouble with ED but I am most likey to climax. All pretty baffling.

Another interesting point. Because of my problems with penetrative sex, I occasionally take 5 mg Levitra, say once out of 5 times we have sex, which on most occasions totally solves the problem...... but not always. Sometimes it improves things slightly, but the usual problems remain. I also find it is almost impossible to reach an orgasm.

I'm almost at two weeks of abstinence.

A little bit of background on me: I'm almost 31 years old and I'm a professional in a field that provides social services to others in need and I have access to research materials that have helped me in choosing to pursue this as a means with dealing with what I consider to be an impulse control disorder and/or addiction.

Viewing internet pornography has always held interest for me. I remember being able to access the playboy and penthouse website to get single images of posing women and now that has been blotted out by easily accessible streaming video of hardcore pornography. I was also interested in reading erotica online when the internet connection could not provide visuals as quickly as I would have liked. I don't know exactly when it occurred but I started using marijuana and pornography together to provide a literal feel. I remember that smoking weed and watching porn made it more real - like I was there. That was a high that I couldn't emulate in the real world.

I didn't have that many girlfriends in university although I know I've made it out to be that I have had. I had some erection problems with the first girl that I was with and I remember vividly that experience as I imagine all of you do. I was drunk and that may have resulted in the poor performance but I believe that was simply anxiety. My other sexual encounters with other girls usually involved the use of pornography before and ended a relationship with a girl who truly loved me because I couldn't enjoy her on the same level as she did me. I am sure that it's because we were at different place and understandings in our lives and I don't regret it but I'm sure I was not performing sexually as well as I would have if I were not engaging in pornography.

My routine was usual. If I were not in a relationship, I would go out with my buddies to a bar or club and be anxious about talking to beautiful women. I'm still anxious when talking to women that I truly find attractive but then I would simply remove myself from the situation and / or exclude myself from the possibility of being with that person sexually and go home to masturbate.

The greatest thing about being alone with internet pornography is that I learned exactly where to find material that aroused me and I was able to please myself in exactly the way that I had refined. I thought "Why be with a girlfriend when I know what to do to please myself as a lower cost?".

I didn't realize that this was affecting me sexually. I certainly had no concept of addiction and was grieving the loss of my mother to cancer that I filled that void with marijuana and porn. I do wish that I had been able to focus on university classes and relationships.

Time passed and I continued to masturbate to internet porn and refine my self-pleasure. I had relationships along the way. I was with around 8 women by the time I was 25 and then I was popular for a single summer where I connected sexually and emotionally with several women. It was when I went to live abroad that engaged in sex with many multiple partners.
Now that I am 31 I have had intercourse with nearly 50 women and some I have experienced sexually difficulties with. I even attempted to correct that with a generic form of sildenafil citrate: Kamagra. One of the girls remarked after I was unable to come "It's not like normal". She didn't know that I was trying to conceal my lack of hardness and performance despite an incredibly erotic situation. I could not ignore the problem anymore.
After returning home and having unsatisfying relationships I decided to look into internet pornography addition. I had arrived at my own conclusion that pornography addiction was affecting males like myself and I had attempted to stop the behavior but I never did so with resolve until i discovered yourbrainonporn.com.

It's been 14 days now and I've been incredibly horny. I used the k9 porn blocker to help me stay away from internet porn. It's been very successful for me as I tried to access my favorite sites a few times and it blocked me. I find displays of a less erotic nature than hardcore far more erotic and I struggle not to achieve climax. I trying very hard not to masturbate and will not do so until 2 months have passed.

My biggest difficulty is that I found that I have contracted genital warts through my various partners and I'm currently treating an outbreak that doesn't seem to be responding to imiquad treatment. I am sure that in time it will but in the time being it's difficult to ethically rationalize having a new sex partner. I find that condoms hinder my performance but I know that that barrier protected the person I've chosen to have sex with. It would be horrible to know that I was the carrier that infected someone I chose to have sex with.

So here I am approaching day 14 and I would love to orgasm. I sometimes have flashes of my favorite scenes and my favorite porn starts but I really want to learn to love again. I don’t think I can do that by having a relationship with pornography at the same time as someone I love.

I’ll certainly use this forum as a resource as I reboot my brain and make myself a more accessible and sexual human.

Best of wishes to everyone.

Great details in your story.
Good luck,
gary

So Im one of those who got hooked at a very delicate point in my life so Its going to take me a Long While to recover but I learn More and more every day it helps that I write things down sometimes and relies that every time I think Iv relapse because I'v looked up P You can always stop at anytime while viewing and don't think ow iv already messed up because Im looking at P best thing for you to do is stop looking shut whole browser down by closing out from corner take a minute for your pal to fall back into its slumber and say to yourself I have not relapsed but next time I wont get this close.
And say I have resisted PMO and I have already grown from this experience next time I might not even have to close the window because I have not searched p.
Just remember that every time you resist you win a little more each time until there's no war to fight.

I'm proud to fight my dark passenger.

i have been on this no pmo thing before and was never able to make it to the 5 day mark....however this time i made up my mind and waws determined to not cave in no matter what... today was day 9 of my no pmo and i binged..i gave into fantasies and masturbated though i wasnt even perfectly hard.... i knew somewhere in my mind that i was succumbing to anxieties. but the moment i ejaculated i felt a deep sense of betraying mnyself... i now feel like a loser.. can i ever get out of this??

the fact that i masturbated today...does it mean that i am back to day 1????

i am not in denial.... but i choose the reality i accept.

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