Kodi ndi zotani zomwe mumatumiza mnzanuyo?
Menyedwa ndi muvi wa Cupid! Zimakhala zabwino kwambiri kuti mutha kufunafuna mgwirizano wanthawi zonse, wotsimikiza kuti kukondana kukupangitsani inu nonse kunjenjemera ndi chisangalalo kwamuyaya. Komabe Cupid ndiwopusa, kapena kuti zomwe adachita sizimalimbikitsa chikondi chosatha.
Cupid's dart ndi woyamba mwa zingapo zamankhwala am'magazi am'magazi oyambira muubongo wanu wotchedwa limbic system. Thupi lanu lamphamvu kwambiri, ndipo limalumikizidwa bwino, kotero kuti nthawi zina limasokoneza malingaliro anu. Tengani zochitika zake zokwatirana, mwachitsanzo. Cholinga chake ndikukulimbikitsani (1) kukondana ndi zozimitsa moto zomwe zimalimbikitsa umuna kuti ubweretse dzira, (2) kulumikizana motalika kokwanira kukondana ndi mwana aliyense kuti akhale ndi owasamalira awiri, (3) kukhuta ndi mnzanu , ndi (4) kuyamba kuyang'ana pozungulira kuti apeze yatsopano. Mwachidule, zimakukakamizani kuti mupusitsidwe-kaya mumachita kapena ayi. Izi zimapangitsa kuti ana azibadwa mosiyanasiyana, ndipo mitundu ikamakula, mpata wabwinobwino wopita mtsogolo mtsogolo. Osautsa, koma ogwira mtima.
Bwanji ngati mukufuna kutulutsa Cupid ndi kukhala muubwenzi wokhalitsa mogwirizana? Kupatula apo, kukhutira ndi kukhala ndi mkazi m'modzi si malingaliro olakwika, popeza kuti ubale wapamtima, wodalirika umateteza thanzi lamaganizidwe ndi thupi ndipo owasamalira awiri amatukula mwayi woti ana akhale ndi moyo wabwino. Banja limodzi ndilotsika mtengo kusamalira kuposa awiri, ndipo kunyengerera komweko kumafuna ndalama zambiri.
Kodi mungalankhule bwanji ndi Cupid? Ndiye kuti, mungayendetse bwanji gawo loyambirira laubongo wanu molunjika ndi zotsatira zomwe mukufuna? Ndizovuta, chifukwa dera loyambali laubongo lidalipo kale ubongo wamunthu (neo-cortex) ndi mamiliyoni a zaka. Sichithamanga pamalingaliro. Ichi ndichifukwa chake simungagwiritse ntchito mphamvu kuti mudzikakamize kuti mukhale mchikondi kapena kuti mukhalebe mchikondi.
Thupi lanu la limbic limayenda mosamvetsetseka cues, ndiko kuti, makhalidwe omwe amatumiza zizindikiro zomwe zimadutsa ubongo wanu komanso zimayambitsa mayankho ake. Podziwa kuti zimbalangondo zimakanikiza, mungathe kukonda kwambiri chikondi chanu ndi kumenyana kochepa.
Makhalidwe omwe amapereka zizindikiritso zamphamvu kwambiri muubwenzi wanu wapamtima angakudabwitseni. Mwachitsanzo, kukhathamira (kugonana kotentha, zipsinjo zambiri) zomwe zimabweretsa kukhutitsidwa pazakugonana (kuti "Ndatha!" Kumva) kumayendetsanso dongosolo la Cupid. Kuchepetsa dopamine (pambuyo paphokoso lokoma lamankhwala am'magazi) kumawuza ziwalo zanu zamankhwala, "Ntchito ya feteleza yachitika pano; Nthawi yoti mnzanuyo asakopeke naye ndiponso kuti azilakalaka kutha kucheza ndi aliyense amene angakwatirane naye kumene. ” Asayansi amadziwa chodabwitsa ichi ngati Zotsatira za Coolidge. Zaka makumi asanu ndi awiri mphambu asanu ndi ziwiri mphambu zisanu ndi ziwiri mwa mitundu yonse ya nyama zinyama zimagwira ntchito yawo mwachikondi pa misonyezo.
Monga nyamayi yosowa nthawi zambiri, mwina mungachedwe kuzindikira kuti "kupalasa" uku kumakakamiza okondana. Izi ndichifukwa choti muli ndi mapulogalamu ena awiri mthupi lanu, omwe amakhudzanso zachikondi. Mapulogalamuwa amaphimba mapulogalamu anu oyambira "pitani, nyamukani, mupite kunyumba".
Yoyamba ndi malo ogona achikondwerero. Okonda atsopano amakonda kupanga pulogalamu yanthawi yayitali yothandizira ma neurochemistry osangalatsa. Chovala chodyera ichi (chowonjezera kukula kwa mitsempha, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin yotsika, ndi kusintha kwa ma testosterone) kumabweretsa kutengeka komanso kutengeka. Kwa kanthawi, imanyalanyaza uthenga "wosunthira patsogolo" ngakhale mutakhala kuti muli ndi chiwerewere komanso kusinthasintha kwa malingaliro komwe okondana kumene amakumana nako. (Zambiri pazokwera izi komanso zotsika mtsogolo.)
Tsoka, kuganiza kuti ukwati wanu waukwati umakhala wotanganidwa kwambiri, kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti zikhoza kuwonongeka mkati mwa zaka ziwiri. Pamene ikutha, malingaliro anu wina ndi mzake akhoza kusinthasintha kwa kanthawi pambuyo pake. Mwamuna wina anawona chodabwitsa ichi motere:
Tikhoza kugonana kwa mphindi khumi ndi zisanu. Ndiye ndimakhala wokwiya kwa sabata. Ndiye ndikanakhala wokoma ngati uchi pamene ndidayambiranso.
Nayi kusinthana kuchokera pagulu lodziwika:
Mwamuna: Mkazi wanga amasanduka chimphona chachikulu nthawi zina m'mawa m'mawa atagonana kwambiri. Ndikulankhula zamatsenga angapo ndi gawo la maola 2-3. Ndipo m'mawa mwake ndine wotsutsa-Khristu!
Mkazi: Izi zimandichitikiranso! Ndimadzuka m'mawa pambuyo pausiku wabwino ndi amuna anga okondedwa ndipo ndimamva ngati kanyumba kochokera ku gehena nthawi zina. . . wokwiya komanso wamisala. Nthawi zambiri ndimakhala gal. Zinthu zimamveka bwino ngati ziphuphu zimafalikira. Ndazindikira ndekha kuchepa kwakomwe ndikukopeka ndikumverera mwachikondi kwa wokondedwa wanga pamene "O" amakhala pafupipafupi, pafupipafupi.
Kusintha monga izi, ngakhale atakhala olimba (osanenapo ziwonetsero zomwe amalimbikitsa), zitha kuzimitsa chisangalalo muubwenzi, ndikupangitsa onse awiri kudzifunsa ngati angakhale bwino ndi wina watsopano. Zachidziwikire, ambiri aife sitikudziwa kuti kusintha kosazindikirika kwamankhwala am'magazi kumatikhudza, chifukwa chake timakhazikika pamalingaliro athu powalozera zolakwa zomwe tazindikira.
Chosangalatsa ndichakuti anthu alinso ndi pulogalamu ina yomwe ingachepetse voliyumu ya pulogalamu yathu ya "pitilirani". Komabe, yathu kugwirizana "Pedal" imagwira ntchito pokhapokha tikamapereka chidziwitso chazizindikiro moyenera pafupipafupi.
The makhalidwe omwe amavomereza Cupid kuti atigwirizanitse ndizo zochitika monga kukhudzana pakhungu ndi khungu, kuyang'anitsana, kupsompsonana ndi milomo ndi malilime, mawu opanda mawu okhutira ndi chisangalalo, kusisita ndi cholinga chotonthoza, kukhudza ndi kuyamwa mawere / mabere, kutsanulira kapena kukumbatirana chete, kuyika dzanja lotonthoza kumaliseche kwa okondedwa athu, kugonana modekha, ndi zina zotero.
Makhalidwe amenewa amalankhula mwachindunji ku gawo lokhalo laubongo wathu lomwe lingakondane, kapena kukhalabe mchikondi. Amapereka uthenga wachisoni "Limbitsani chomangirachi." Zodabwitsa ndizakuti, izi zimagwira ntchito chifukwa zimachokera ku mammalian oyambira Zochita zothandizira ana zomwe zinatithandiza kuti tizikondana ndi makolo athu, ndi zomwe zimatilola kuti tizikondana ndi ana athu. Inde, zizindikirozi zimawoneka mosiyana pakati pa okonda kuposa momwe zimakhalira pakati pa makanda ndi osamalira, koma zonse zimakhudzana ndi kukhudzidwa ndi kukhudzana.
Ndikofunika kuzindikira kuti kulumikizana kumangosonyeza mphamvu ya limbic ikachitika pafupifupi tsiku ndi tsiku. Ngakhale kamphindi kapena awiri angathe kugwira ntchitoyi, koma makhalidwe abwino amakhala osapindulitsa ngati maanja akugwiritsira ntchito kawirikawiri, kapena pokhapokha pofika pakufika pachimake.
Zizolowezi zolimbirana sizili zofanana ndi foreplay. Iwo chitonthozo Machitidwe amanjenje okonda (makamaka, amygdala). Mosiyana ndi izi, chiwonetserochi chimapangidwira kuti chizigonana. Kuwonetseratu kumakhala ndi zolinga; makhalidwe ogwirizana sali. (Kugonana modekha, kosagonana kapena kosangalatsa kumatha kukhala chinthu champhamvu kwambiri. Zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana m'mbiri yonse zakhala zikugwiritsa ntchito njirayi ndikuipatsa mayina osiyanasiyana. Zambiri mtsogolo.)
Kotero, mumalankhula bwanji ndi Cupid? Gwiritsani ntchito ubongo wanu woganiza kuti muzitsatira lanu Kusankha kupereka zizindikiro zina mwachindunji ku gawo labwino la ubongo wanu. Mwanjira iyi mukhoza kuyendetsa pa zotsatira zilizonse zomwe mumakonda mu chikondi chanu. Ngati mukufuna ubale wa nthawi yayitali, yesetsani kugogomezana tsiku ndi tsiku, kukhala ndi makhalidwe olimbikitsa (kuphatikizapo kumasuka), ndipo musachotsere chilakolako chanu chogonana. Koma, ngati mukufuna chikondi mu moyo wanu wachikondi, tsatirani kukondana pogonana pogwiritsa ntchito mwamphamvu kwambiri, nthawi zambiri zolaula.
[Za zithunzi m'nkhaniyi: Mutu wokondedwa wa ojambula akale anali Aphrodite (Chikondi) woyatsa malingaliro a Eros.]
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