Nkhaniyi ikupezeka Magazini ya "NewYork". "
Ngakhale, ndipo mwinamwake, pamene chibwenzi chake chikuchita ngati akazi sangathe kuima pa intaneti.
Ndinakumana ndi mayiyo pawunivesite ya Broadway, koma ndikuchita bwino usiku, ndikudandaula kuti, adachokera kwa ine, kubwerera ku nyumba yake ya East Village, titatha kugonana pafupi ndi maminiti a 25, ndi Neil Young akulirira nyimbo "Idza Nthawi" kuchokera pa laputopu pa tebulo la pambali pake. Kondomu yowumitsa inandigwira kwambiri, koma ndinali nditayima kawiri kuti ndiveke mwatsopano, ndipo ndinadziwa kuti ndikupitiriza kuchoka, kondomu imodzi sinayende kusiyana. Ndikadasiya, zinthu zikanakhala ngati momwe amachitira kawirikawiri, ndi mthunzi wokhumudwitsidwa ndi kusadzipeleka kwa mkaziyo komanso kupepesa mwamkati ndi manyazi. Koma usiku umenewo, luntha linagwera-silingathe kuchokapo, ndinadzipeza ndekha ndikuwuluka njira yatsopano: Ndinayimitsa.
Ndichifukwa chiyani ine, munthu wathanzi mu zaka zitatu, muyenera kupotoza chiwonongeko? Zinali zodziwikiratu. Sindinali ndi matenda opatsirana, omwe ndimamva kuti amachepetsa nkhawa. Ndili ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi ambiri. Sizinkawoneka kuti ndibwanji mkazi yemwe ndinali naye, kapena kuti ndi kondomu yamtundu wanji yomwe tagwiritsa ntchito, kapena ngati ndagwetsa galasi imodzi ya mowa kapena khumi, kapena ngati tinamvetsera Neil Young kapena Al Green, monga momwe ndinaphunzirira poyesera ndi zolakwika (makamaka zolakwika). Pakapita miyezi ingapo, ndinasankha khumi ndi awiri omwe amawakayikira kunja kwa mzerewu ndikuyamba kuchotsa. Kupatula, mwinamwake, chowonekera kwambiri.
"Zithunzi Zolaula? Ndi njira yatsopano yowonjezereka. "Izi ndi zomwe John Mayer adanena mu zokambirana zoyenera ndi Playboy. "Mudzuka m'mawa, mutsegule tsamba lamasamba, ndipo imatsogolera ku bokosi la Pandora la zojambula," adatero. "Pangakhale masiku ena pamene ndinaona vagina a 300 ndisanayambe kugona."
Kutsatsa kwa Porn ndi kuvomereza sizomwe zimakhudza kwambiri nkhani. Funso lomwe lidalipobe, ndiye kuti tsunami ya zolaula ikukhudzana ndi libido ya mwamuna wamwamuna wa ku America kapena, wodzikonda kwambiri, wanga. Choyamba ndinapeza cholemba pa blog ya Sanjay Gupta ndi Ian Kerner, mlangizi wa kugonana, yemwe analemba kuti adawona kuwonjezeka kwakukulu kwa chiwerengero cha amuna omwe akumuyandikira ndi nkhaŵa za kuchedwa kuthamangitsidwa. Kerner adanena kuti vuto lalikulu ndi "kufalikira mofulumira kwa zolaula pa Intaneti" zomwe zimayambitsa "kuphwanya-maliseche," zomwe ndikudziŵa bwino. Kenaka ndinawerenga za kafukufuku wa yunivesite ya Kansas yomwe inapeza kuti a 25 peresenti ya amuna a ku koleji adanena kuti zikanakhala zosautsa, zomwe ndikuvomereza, zinali zosangalatsa kumva. Koma sizinapitirire mpaka ndikafunsana ndi amuna ambirimbiri omwe ali ndi zizoloŵezi zoonerera zolaula (ndi akazi ochepa okhudzidwa kwambiri) kuti zina mwadzidzidzi zimayambira. Kugonana sikuti kumangopangitsa chidwi cha thupi ndi chilakolako cha amuna pa kugonana pa chikhalidwe chachikulu cha mitsempha, koma kumakhalanso ndi zotsatira zosayembekezeka zosokoneza-zomwe ndizimayi.
Kwa zaka zambiri, opanga manja amachenjeza za mliri wa zolaula umene ungasokoneze khalidwe lawo. Koma ngati zolaula pa Intaneti zikufalikira matenda, ndizosafanana ndi Ebola ndipo zambiri zimakhala ngati kuzizizira. Chizindikiro choyambirira kwa anyamata ambiri omwe nthawi zambiri amadzipeza kuti akuwonetsa zojambula zawo zosavomerezeka zikuwoneka ngati chilakolako chochepa cha anzawo. Jonas *, yemwe ali ndi zaka za 34, adandiuza kuti, "Ndimafika pa SpankWire kapena X Videos - mungathe kujambula zithunzi zowoneka ndi bazira ndi dick. Ndikutenga msungwana kunyumba kuchokera ku bar, komabe, ndikukhala kwa mphindi pamene akutsikira pa ine, koma kamodzi ndikayika kondomu ndikuyamba kupita, zimakhala ngati Challenger akuphulika-mbendera zonse ali pamtunda. "
Ndiye pali Stefan, wolemba nyimbo wa zaka za 43, yemwe alibe vuto lodzuka pamene agonana ndi mkazi wake. "Koma, kuti ndibwere, ine ndikuyenera kuti ndiyambe kusewera zisudzo mmutu mwanga zomwe ndaziwona ndikuwona zolaula. Chinachake chatayika pamenepo. Sindili ndi mkazi wanga; Ndili mkati mwa mutu wanga. "
Monga John Mayer adawuza Playboy, "Kodi mungatani kuti muzipanga mafilimu nthawi zonse? Mukuyang'ana chithunzi chimodzi kuchokera ku 100 omwe mumalumbira kuti ndi amene mumamaliza, ndipo simungathe kumaliza ... Kodi zimenezi sizikukhudza bwanji psychology ya kukhala paubwenzi ndi wina? Amayenera kutero. "Ambiri mwa amuna omwe ndinawafunsa anavomera kukhala ndi chizoloŵezi chofanana cha kudumpha msangamsanga kuchokera ku zolaula zolaula kupita ku zolaula (zomwe zikufotokozera kuwonjezeka ndi kukondedwa kwa" masamu "komanso mapangidwe ena omwe asinthidwa mwamsanga). Kerner anapita mpaka kukagwiritsira ntchito mawu akuti "kusokonezeka kwa kugonana kwachisawawa." Kwa anyamata ambiri, kusintha magalasi ochokera ku zojambula zolaula ndi zovuta kuzinthu zosiyana zogonana ndizofanana ndi kusiya mafilimu a Imax 3-D kuti muwone flipbook.
Perry, katswiri wamkulu wa zaka 41, anati: "Ndinkakonda kupita kumudzi kuti ndikagonane ndi mkazi wanga. "Tsopano ndikusiya ntchito theka la ora mofulumira kuti ndikafike kunyumba asanatero ndi kuseweretsa maliseche." Pakati pa zokambirana zathu, Perry akunena kuti amakopeka ndi mkazi wake wa zaka khumi ndi ziwiri. Komabe, akuti, sangakwanitse kuchita zinthu zofanana ndi zimene amaonera zithunzi zolaula. "Osati kukhala othawa, koma iwo ali aang'ono, otentha, ndi owongolera mu thumba kuposa mkazi wanga," akutero. "Ine ndi iye, tidakali 'kuchita' ndi chirichonse, koma m'malo mwa tsiku lililonse, mwina kamodzi pa sabata. Zili monga ine ndiri ndi 'mkazi wina' ... ndipo 'mkazi wina' ndi zolaula. "
Ron, 27, wophunzira womangamanga, adakumana ndi chibwenzi chake pamene onse awiri anali amsinkhu. Amapita ku sukulu mumzinda wina, ndipo Ron akunena kuti kwa zaka zingapo zapitazi, wakhala akuchita "masiku" pamasewera omwe amakonda kwambiri zolaula, omwe amayembekezera tsiku lonse ngakhale mvula ndi mvula, monga ngati akukonzekera zochitika zokhudzana ndi moyo. "Lolemba ndi Gia Jordan," akutero. "Lachiwiri kwa Sasha Grey." Lachitatu iye ali ndi chiwongoladzanja-kalasi ya usiku wa Chipwitikizi. "Ndikuyembekezera nthawi zonse Lachinayi kwambiri-Kasey Kox," akutero. "Ndiye, mapeto a sabata, ndimakhala ndi chibwenzi changa." Nthaŵi zina, pamene abwerera kunyumba yake Lamlungu, Ron akufotokoza, akuyendetsa webusaiti kufunafuna ofuna kuti azikhala naye Lachitatu usiku ngati atakhala ndi mphamvu zotsalira pambuyo pake chinenero chake. "Sindimakonda kukhulupirira kuti zolaula zimachotsa chilichonse chomwe ndili nacho ndi chibwenzi changa," adatero, "koma nthawi zonse ndimakonda kugonana, ndipo nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndi zambiri, choncho ndimayenera kusiya Ganizirani za izi pamene adandifunsa posachedwa chifukwa chake nthawi zonse amayenera kukhazikitsa zinthu. Ndipo iye anali kulondola; Ndikuganiza kuti ndakhala ndikuchoka kwa iye. Ziri ngati nthawi yonseyi ndi nyenyezi zolaulazi zikugonjetsa chilakolako chilichonse cha chibwenzi changa. Ndipo, mwa njira yachilendo, ndikusowa zofuna zanga kwa iye. "
Kodi n'zotheka kuti zolaula zikuchititsa amuna kuti asatuluke kwa anzawo mwa njira zowonjezereka? Ngakhale kufufuza kwa zolaula kumayambitsa kukangana ndi kupikisana (ndi magulu achipembedzo akufufuza pa phunziro lililonse kuti atsimikizire kuti zolaula ndi maliseche ndizolakwika), asayansi amanena kuti dopamine-oxytocin combo imamasulidwa mu ubongo panthawi yachisokonezo, "Potion of love potion," monga katswiri wa zamakhalidwe Andrea Kuszewski amachitcha izo. Ndi chifukwa chake atagonana ndi munthu wina, mwinamwake mumakonda kukhala ndi chibwenzi. Koma simukuyenera kugonana kwenikweni kuti muzitha kuwombera ziwalozo. Mukamaonera zolaula, "mumagwirizana ndi izo," akutero Kuszewski. "Ndipo mankhwala amenewo amakupangitsani inu kuti mukhalebe kubwerera kuti mukhale ndi kumverera koteroko." Chimene chimalola amuna kuti asachoke pa zolaula koma kuti akhoza kukhala ndi chiyanjano cha ubongo kwa izo. Iwo akhoza, makamaka, kuwonetsa zolaula.
Ndipo ngati zolaula zam'nyumba zam'nyumba zam'nyumba zimasanduka malo otchuka kwambiri, kumvetsetsa ngati tikuyang'ana kugonana kapena kugonana, tikhoza kumasula, mothandizidwa ndi oxytocin. Ambiri mwa amuna omwe ndinawafunsawa adanena za zomwe amapeza chifukwa chowona mafilimu omwe amawakonda. Koma amakhalanso ndi chizoloŵezi chofotokozera zolaula ngati kuti ndizochitika zenizeni zomwe adagwirizanitsa nazo pa zolaula. Ron, yemwe ndi wophunzira wa zomangamanga, anati: "Ndimakonda kwambiri pamene Kasey [Kox] amandiveka komanso akumwetulira. "Ndikumvetsa kasey ndipo ndikusintha. Ndimasokonezeka. "
Zonsezi zimadzutsa funso lochititsa chidwi: Kodi kukhala ndi nthawi yowonjezereka, nthawi zina kumawoneka bwanji, nthawi zambiri kugonana kumakhudzidwa ndi zibwenzi zomwe zimalandira? Sadie, 29, wothandizila ku Boston, akulembapo Nicole Blackman wojambula nyimbo kuti afotokoze mfundo yake: "'Palibe ulemerero pakuyesa chikondi kwa amuna omwe amadziwa kuseka basi - mwamuna pambuyo pa munthu pambuyo pa munthu pa zolaula. ' Sadie akupitiriza kuti, "Ndikadakhala ndi munthu ndikuganiza, Yesu akukakamiza Khristu, kodi ndizomwe mumaonera zolaula? Kodi mwangobwera kachipinda changa? Wopusa!"
"Pali kulephera kusiyanitsa pakati pa zolaula ndi zenizeni," akutero Monika, 27. Mnyamata wina anali kufuula kwa ine, 'Tulukani tambala, tayani tambala!' Ndinaseka kwambiri moti tinayenera kusiya. "
Chifukwa cha kugwirizana ndi zenizeni ndi zozizwitsa, akazi ena asankha kuvomereza mwachangu malamulo atsopano kuti asunge amuna awo chidwi: Iwo amatsanzira zonyansa nyenyezi. Sadie, wothandizira enieni, akuti, "Amuna ambiri akuyembekezera PSE [" Zojambula Zam'mafilimu "] monga chinthu chodziwika-nsomba zimakhala zowonongeka, kulumikizidwa ku dzenje lililonse -ndipo amayi ochuluka amaposa wokondwa kupereka. Ochepa angasangalale nawo, koma ambiri ndi ovuta. Ndikuganiza kuti pali mantha kuti ngati sangathe kutero, chibwenzi chawo chidzabwerera pa Intaneti. "
Monty, 31, woimba nyimbo ku Queens, yemwe pakati pa zojambula zowonjezera amatha pafupifupi ola limodzi pa tsiku akulaula pa zolaula pa intaneti, akuti akuwona kusintha kwake. Iye anati: "Ndinali ndi mtsikana amene ankaoneka kuti ali ndi zida zolaula. "Iye anali ndi Soviet Union akuganiza kuti anali kuyesa kuthamanga."
Evan, nayenso 31 anati: "Azimayi akuyendetsa dial. "Ndine wokondweretsa. Ine ndimachoka pa kukwatira kwa mkazi. Koma ndazindikira kuti amayi akupeza mau ochuluka tsopano. Mwina ndikuchita chinachake chimene sindichidziwa, kapena amayi ayamba kutsanzira zomwe zimachitika pa zolaula. Mowona mtima, ndi wodabwitsa. Sindikudziwa ngati ndimakonda. "
Tony, 48, wokonza webusaiti ku St. Paul, yemwe adasiyanitsa ndi mkazi wake zaka zingapo zapitazo atatha zaka makumi awiri a ukwati, akugwirizana ndi lingaliro. "Ndakhala ndikuganiza kuti kutentha kwambiri pamene amai mu mafilimu olaula amafotokoza zinthu zakuda," akutero. "Kawirikawiri, iwo amangonena kwenikweni zomwe zikuchitika, kupereka masewera: 'Inu mumandikakamiza! Dick wanu ali mu bulu wanga! Ndikuyamwa tambala wanu pakalipano! ' Pa chifukwa chirichonse, ndizo zomwe zimandichitira ine. Koma posachedwapa mkazi yemwe ndinali naye anayamba kuyankhula zinthu zonsezi, ndipo zinangondipweteka. Ankaoneka ngati mtedza. "
Ndipo kotero kutuluka kwa conundrum. Amuna, oposa zolaula, amakhala ndi njala yachinsinsi zosiyana siyana zomwe zolaula zimapereka. Akazi, pozindikira kuchepa kwa libidos a anzawo, yesetsani kufotokoza zochitika zomwe amuna amaziyang'ana pazithunzi zawo. Amuna, motero, amachotsedwa kwenikweni. Iwo samafuna akazi awo enieni ndi akazi awo okondeka kuti azikhala mu thupi lomwelo. Kapena, monga Ron akulozera: "Kumbukirani Ghostbusters? Mwakondana bwanji Bill Murray anali ndi Dana, khalidwe la Sigourney Weaver? Amamva mwayi kuti amuvomereze kuti azigwirizana naye, koma atangofika pakhomo pake, ali ndi ziwanda, akuyandama pamwamba pa bedi lake, ndikumupempha kuti amuthamangitse. Ndipo iye amatsutsidwa kwathunthu ndi izo ndipo sangakhoze kutulukamo kuchokera mwamsanga mokwanira. Ndimomwe zimakhalira pamene bwenzi lanu limayamba mwadzidzidzi ngati kuchita maliseche. Iwe uli ngati, 'Mwana, iwe wapita kuti? Ndikungofuna bwenzi langa kumbuyo. ' "
Monga wofufuza aliyense, ndinaganiza zopenda chiphunzitso. Ndinawamva za chinachake chomwe chimatchedwa National Day of Unplugging, chomwe chinathandizidwa ndi New York-based Jewish Group Reboot, yomwe imalimbikitsa anthu kuti azitenga masiku amodzi kuchokera ku chitukuko chawo. Koma ndinasankha kuchoka mwa njira yanga ndekha: mwa kukana kuyendera mndandanda wa ma tsamba a tawdry nthawi zambiri ndisanagone. Tsopano, ine sindikuyesera kuti ndiwonetsere zolaula, kapena kunena kuti izo ziribe malo mmiyoyo ya anthu, kaya ndizokha kapena ndi gulu. Ndipo ndikuvomereza kuti ena okwatirana amapezekanso kukhala chinthu chokhazikika. Koma kuyanjanitsa ubale wanu kungangowonjezera maubwenzi enieni-makamaka ngati nthawi zambiri mumapezeka m'chipinda chogona, ndikuyang'anizana ndi wokondedwa kwambiri. Kotero ine ndinayankha kwenikweni.
Ndinapita wopanda zolaula tsiku lina. Ndiye ine ndinayesera iyo kwa awiri. Ndiye atatu. Pa tsiku lachinai, ndinali ndi mwayi wogonana ndi mkazi. Ndipo palibe chimene chinali chowongolera, ngakhale ine ndingathe kungoyankhula ndekha.
Onaninso "Mmene Ndinapezekera Kuchokera ku Erectile Dysfunction"
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