Mukakhala ozoloweka ndi matupi ovekedwa bwino, maliseche a HD, ndi ngodya zabwino zosangulutsa zanu nthawi zina zinthu zenizeni sizingafanane
Nkhani yoyambirira yolembedwa ndi Neelam Tailor
Chenjezo: Mwana achitiridwa nkhanza komanso zolaula
M'chilimwe cha 2010, ndinali ndi zaka 16 zakubadwa ndimaliseche komanso zaka zisanu ndikuwonera zolaula. Pokhala wabizinesi wokonda kusangalala koteroko, ndimaganiza kuti ndikamasuka chibwenzi changa choyenera ndikutanthauza kuti iyi inali nthawi yanga yowala. Ndidaphunzira za momwe matupi anga a mamon angakhalire opanda vuto, momwe ndimayenera kupanga, komanso kuti Agiriki ndi aminisitala atsopanowo. Ndinali wokonzeka. Koma titafika kumeneko ... ndinali wouma ngati fupa.
Koma, bwanji nyini yanga idandipereka? Chikondi chinali mlengalenga ndipo mahomoni anali ponseponse, koma pakati pa ma sheet omwe ndimakhala ndimavuto, tinene kuti, kusungunula mayendedwe ake. Sindinathe kufika pena pafupi konyowa ngati momwe ndimakhalira ndikumayang'ana Pornhub ndipo ndidasokonezeka kwambiri. Pomwe iye anali mnzathu wapamtima idakali kukulira muzu wavutoli.
Zomwe ndimawonera zolaula masiku ambiri chinali chinsinsi changa chachikulu chamanyazi, ndimaganiza kuti ndine m'modzi mwa atsikana okha omwe adachita izi. Chifukwa chake m'malo molankhulana ndi wina aliyense, monga wachinyamata aliyense, ndidatembenukira pa intaneti. Reddit anali ndi ulusi wotchedwa NoFap - foramu ya anthu omwe ali ndi chizolowezi chodziseweretsa maliseche ndi zolaula zomwe zimawalimbikitsa kuti asiye - zomwe zimawoneka kuti ndizopindulitsa kwambiri munkhani za kukokoloka, kulephera kuletsa zolaula, ndikuchepetsa IRL. Imagwira ntchito ngati malo othandizira omwe akuwonetsedwa ndi boma la NoFap 'Sober' October pomwe mamembala pafupifupi 500k amalimbikitsidwa kusiya zolaula, kuseweretsa maliseche, komanso kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi (PMO) ndikusunga ulendowu.
Komabe, choti sindinalumikizane ndi 100% ndi NoFap chimasankhidwa ndi dzinalo. "Fap" ndi onomatopoeic, kutengera phokoso lomwe mbolo limapanga nthawi ya maliseche, yomwe ikudzipatula yokha ngati mtsikana wachinyamata. Komanso NoFap ndikudzipatula ngati mpata kwa ine, ena mu kayendedwe amatenga malingaliro okhudzana ndi kugonana. Zokongoletsa mozungulira zogonana-zimathandizira kuwonjezera manyazi kwa anthu omwe ali m'mafakitole m'malo mochirikiza ndi kulemekeza ufulu wawo wogulitsa zogonana ngati ntchito. Nthawi zina zikhulupiliro zolimba zomwe zili mu gulu la NoFap zimatha kukhala mwayi wodzipatula kwambiri kwa anthu omwe amakhala ndi vuto logonana, komanso samamva kufunikira koti azichita zolaula, zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche.
Ubale wanga weniweni udali woyamba kwa ine, kotero ndidasiya kuwonera zolaula posachedwa ndipo sindinayang'ane kumbuyo kuyambira (chabwino, maliseche ndichabwino, kotero ndimachitabe izi pakanthawi kochepa).
Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti achinyamata omwe amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula mokakamira amakhala ndi magawo ochepera ochezera, amawonjezeka m'mavuto amachitidwe, zikhalidwe zonyansa, zisonyezo zokhumudwitsa, komanso amachepetsa mgwirizano wokhala ndi osamalira anzawo. Akuluakulu, pali maphunziro opitilira 75 kulumikiza kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula ndi kusakwanitsidwa kogonana komanso kukondana, komanso kusintha zomwe timakhulupirira ndi malingaliro athu kwa akazi. Limbani Mankhwala Otsopano, tsamba lomwe linaperekedwa kuti lifufuze momwe zakhudzira zolaula za bongo, limakhulupirira kuti ubongo wathu sunapangidwe kuti athane ndi kuchuluka kwa zolimbikitsa zakugonana zomwe zimachokera ku zolaula.
Musanakumane ndi tsoka pazolakalaka zanu, pakhala kutsutsana ndi malingaliro osagwirizana ndi zolaula komanso zosangalatsa. Mu 2016, wasayansi wa mitsempha Nicole Prause adauza The Guardian: “Mabanja a pa intaneti awa atenthedwa kwambiri pamene amuna akale sakanakhala akhudzidwa. Kenako tsiku lotsatira akagonana zimadzidetsa nkhawa kwambiri. ” [Dziwani: Zambiri pazakusankha kwa wojambula zolaula Nicole Prause onani Kodi Nicole Anagwiritsira Ntchito Pulogalamu Yolimbikitsa Yogulitsa Zojambulajambula?]
Izi zikunenedwa, patatha pafupifupi miyezi itatu mpaka isanu ndi umodzi kusiya zolaula my Thupi linachokeranso ku kutulutsa kouma, komwe kunali mpumulo waukulu. Koma, zikuwoneka kuti si ine ndekha mkazi yemwe wakhala paulendowu. YouTuber Alana Parekh imayang'anira njira ya akazi ya akazi a NoFap ndipo imafotokoza zovuta zathu zakale ngati "zofala kwambiri". Alana, 28, anasiya kuonera zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche zaka ziwiri zapitazo, atazipeza koyamba ali ndi zaka XNUMX. Ali mtsikana, akuyang'anitsitsa mayendedwe akulu akulu pa TV ku "Chicago" makolo ake atagona kuchipinda chapamwamba, sanadziwe zomwe anali kuyang'ana. “Sindinapeze chomwe chinali. Ndimaganiza kuti ndikuyang'ana dziko lopenga ili. Ndimaganiza kuti ndichinthu chomwe akuluakulu onse ayenera kuchita ndipo ndimamva kuti mwina ndichinthu chomwe ndimayenera kuchita ndikadzakula, "amandiuza pafoni. Zomwe zimayamba chidwi chidayambitsidwa kukhala maola awiri kapena atatu olaula tsiku lililonse.
Patatha pafupifupi zaka 20 za chizolowezi choonera zolaula, Alana adadziyambitsa zovuta za masiku 90 a NoFap. Atayambiranso, kapena awiri, adakwanitsa kuchita zachiwerewere ndipo adati chidwi chake pa kukongola zenizeni zachuluka, "mwadzidzidzi anthu omwe anali pafupi nane anayamba kuwoneka okongola." Kukhumudwa komwe kunamupangitsa kuti azimva ngati "zombie" akuwoneka kuti akutha atasiya. Tsopano amathandiza ena kuthana ndi zosowa zawo, kupereka thandizo limodzi kwa Skype komanso kufotokoza zomwe akumana nazo pa YouTube. “Ndimalakalaka kwambiri kuti ndithandizire anthu kuthana nazo tsopano. Monga kungowona momwe zandichitira m'moyo wanga, ndimamva ngati ndabwezedwa mzimu, ”akutero mokondwa.
Palibe makolo athu onse aku India omwe adawonera zolaula kapena kugonana ndi ife tili achichepere, choncho tidawaona mwangozi ngati yemweyo. Tikudziwa kuti pafupifupi zaka zomwe ana amapenyerera zolaula wazaka za 11 malinga ndi zolemba zina, pomwe ena akuti zazing'ono ngati eyiti, koma ndi ana angati m'badwo umenewo omwe adaphunzitsidwa kalikonse za izi?
Kuonera zolaula popanda mandala ovuta kapena maphunziro aliwonse kumapangitsa Alana kuganiza molakwika kuti: “Ndidangokula ndili ndi lingaliro la chikondi chomwe chimayenera kukhala. Zinakhudzanso thupi langa. Ndinayamba kulabadira zomwe azimayiwo amawoneka ndipo ndimayerekezera thupi langa ndi iwo ndikungodzifunsa kuti, ngati mkazi. " Zithunzi zolaula zikuluzikulu zimawonetsa azimayi kukhala ngati zogonana kudzera mwa amuna: "Zinandipangitsa kuti ndizimva kuti ndizofunika kwambiri kuti ndikhale womangika pazomwe ndimatha kuchita zogonana," akutero Alana.
Ndikofunikira kujambula kusiyana pakati poti kukopa ndi kwachibadwa komanso kwathanzi, ndipo kupita ku zolaula sikuyenera kukhala vuto nthawi zonse. Zolaula zimagwira ntchito yabwino m'miyoyo ya anthu ambiri ndipo zakhala zikuwachititsa kuti azimayi ambiri omwe amaphunzira kuchita okha okha - ndizofunikira chifukwa 39% ya azimayi amati amakhala amakonda kuseweretsa maliseche pomwe 6% amati nthawi zonse amakhala akuchita zogonana ndi wokondedwa wawo. Masamba a Niche ndi fetish ndi ofunika kwambiri kwa anthu ambiri omwe amawunika ma kink, ndipo palinso ochita zogonana padziko lonse lapansi omwe amamva kupatsidwa mphamvu ndi malonda awo.
Komabe, azimayi ena amadalira kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kuti athawe chizolowezi chomaliza. Ogosa Ovienrioba, wolemba mabulogu wa ku Britain ndi YouTuber, adagwiriridwa ngati wazaka zisanu. Amaganizira za momwe ogwiritsira ntchito zolaula zimayambira mu nkhanza zomwe zidamupangitsa kuti azigonana zisanachitike. “Ndinali kulakalaka kugonana ndili wamng'ono kwambiri. Zachidziwikire kuti sindinalankhule ndi aliyense za izi, zimangokhala ngati zakomoka ndipo ndipamene ndinayamba kuonera zolaula, ”akutero tikulankhula pafoni. Oghosa adawona zolaula ngati "njira" yothawirira, ndipo amafotokoza za "Stockholm Syndrome momwe ndimakondera anzanga omwe amandizunza ndipo ndinamverera kuti ndimakonda momwe ndimakhalira ndikuzunzidwa."
Timalankhula pafoni, wabwerera kuchokera kujambulira makanema pa YouTube pa kanema pomwe amalankhula za kukongola, kutengera zachikunja ndi chikhulupiriro chake. Ngakhale kuti adawonera pafupifupi maola anayi a zolaula patsiku kuyambira azaka 14 mpaka 20, atakhala Mkristu wobadwanso mwatsopano adasiya kuwonera mafilimu achikulire ndikugonana paliponse. Amakumbukira akulira akusamba ndipo "akupemphera kwa Mulungu kuti, 'Ngati mulidi zenizeni, chonde musalole kuti ndibwererenso ku chinthu ichi'. Ndipo sindinatero. ”
"Ndinkamvadi ngati mwana," Oghosa akutero tikukambirana momwe kuyimira kwa akazi akuda kumuchotsera. Akupitiliza kuti, "Zithunzi zolaula za akazi akuda mumunthu zimakhala zowopsa, ndipo zimakhala zowopsa. Amayi akuda ndi nyama ndipo mutha kuchita zomwe mukufuna ndi matupi awo. " Kugawana kwamtundu wa zolaula kumathandiziradi simenti kuwononga komwe kumakhala kale.
Ngakhale zolaula ndi chiwonetsero cha anthu, Maulendo okwanira 1,000 ku PornHub akuchitika sekondi iliyonse, chisonkhezero chake pa anthu sichingatheke. Malinga ndi kuwunika kwa masamba a 2019, panali maulendo pafupifupi mamiliyoni 115 tsiku lililonse (ofanana ndi anthu aku Canada, Australia, Poland ndi Netherlands onse omwe amabwera tsiku limodzi), ndi mitundu yamafuko ngati "Japan", "Korea" ndi "Ebony" akuwonjezera mndandandandawo chifukwa chosaka zambiri.
Amayi achichepere, makamaka achipembedzo, amachita manyazi chifukwa cha zizolowezi zawo. Pazenera lakufotokozera azimayi a NoFap, ndidakumana ndi mayi wachisilamu wazaka 21 wa ku Germany yemwe akuti "amapemphera kasanu patsiku" ndipo amakonda kwambiri maliseche. Ngakhale amafuna kukhala wopanda dzina iye akuwulula kuti adayamba ali ndi zaka 11, nati: "Ndinali munthu wovutika maganizo nthawi imeneyo, ndinapezerera anzawo, motero ndikadziseweretsa maliseche, zinali ngati kutulutsa chilichonse mkati mwanga. Ndili ndi chisangalalo chomwe ndimafunikira mu mphindi imeneyo, ndidayiwala zowawa mkati mwa moyo wanga. Ndinkafuna kumva kuti ndizovomerezeka nthawi zonse. ”
Patatha zaka ziwiri, zomwe amakonda adasamukira ku BDSM: "Ndidaphunzira kudzimangiriza ndekha ndikumenya maliseche ndikumangidwa. Ndinkadzilanga mwanjira zopweteka zomwe zinali zosangalatsa kwambiri kwa ine. ” Pofikira pagawo losadziwika kuti amuthandize, adanena kuti amadzimva kuti ali ndi mlandu komanso manyazi chifukwa zomwe amalakalaka zokhudzana ndi kugonana zimasemphana ndi chikhulupiriro chake. Chifukwa chake, monga ine, amakamba za zokuchitikazi ndikuyesera ndikulimbana ndi manyazi komanso zovuta, chifukwa zimangokhala chete kukambirana ndi kuphunzira.
Ndikumvetsetsa za zoyipa zomwe ndimakonda kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula. Koma, maliseche ndi chinthu chachilengedwe kuti abambo ndi amai achite, chifukwa chake ndimafuna kudziwa kuti bwanji anthu ambiri amasiya zonsezi. Ulendo wa Oghosa unalumikizidwa kwambiri ndi zikhulupiriro zake zachipembedzo. Monga mkhristu, adati "akaliyesa ndikuwona zomwe Bayibulo likunena pankhani ya maliseche".
Komanso, Alana ali ndi zifukwa zosakhudzana ndi zauzimu mu chikhalidwe chathu. "Ndikuganiza kuti zimangobwera chifukwa chokhota choti mukuliseweretsa maliseche. Kwa ine, ndimakonda kuseweretsa maliseche ngati njira yothawira mavuto anga, "akufotokoza. "Komanso, akuti pamakhala kusintha komweko mu ubongo m'maganizo mwanu mukamamwa mankhwala aliwonse olimba mukamadzuka. Chifukwa cha milungu iwiri ikubwerayi, mukukhala mukuperewera, ”akufotokoza Alana, akunena ena mwa maphunziro afufuza. Pomaliza, ndipo ichi ndi chinthu chomwe ndimatha kudziwa, akuti kusiya maliseche kumatha kupangitsa kuti akhale paubwenzi wolimba ndi wosangalatsa komanso wosangalatsa.
Boma la UK layesa kubweretsa kuletsa zolaula kwa anthu osakwanitsa zaka 18 Julay, koma akuchedwa. Njira yotsimikizitsira zaka yomwe akufuna kubweretsa ndiyosavuta yozungulira mphindi chifukwa ndi intaneti ndipo UK ndi njira yotalikirapo kuti athe kuyendetsa bwino polisi. Kuletsa zolaula kumachepetsa kukambirana ndipo kumakulitsa vuto. Imalipira pakamwa pazinthu zomwe achinyamata amakumana nazo ndikakoka chingwe pamwamba pake (chomwe chimakwezedwa mosavuta ndi aliyense yemwe ali ndi VPN), mmalo mophunzitsa ana momwe angaganizire molakwika pazomwe ayenera kuwona.
“Kuletsa china chilichonse kuli ngati kuika bandeji. Sikutanthauza kwenikweni chifukwa chomwe anthu amafunira kuti azionera izi, ”akutero Alana. Adati chidwi chathu chakuonera zolaula sichachilengedwe, koma kuti "zolaula zimathandizira pa chosowa cha munthu chomwe tonse tili nacho, chomwe ndi kulumikizana, chikondi, ubale ndi kugonana". Akupitiliza kuti: "Zili ngati kuti ukunamizira kuti ukukhutira, ndipo m'kupita kwa nthawi zitha kuonongeratu kugonana kwanu ndi malingaliro anu molakwika."
Pali anthu masauzande ambiri ochokera padziko lonse lapansi omwe akulimbana ndi zikhalidwe zawo zogonana ndipo akuwonetsa zotsatira zosintha atasiya zolaula. Kuchokera pakulankhula ndi omwe adachita NoFap, zimawoneka kuti kuseweretsa maliseche kumakhala kopanda thanzi pomwe sikungafanane ndi zolaula. Tsopano ndikudziwa azimayi ambiri omwe anaphunzira izi movutikira, ngakhale ine wazaka 16 ndimaganiza kuti anali yekha.
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