Ndine wamwamuna wazaka 18 wamwamuna yemwe ndimapezeka pagulu lanyumba. Ndinayamba PMO ndili ndi zaka 11. Pokumbukira zonsezi, ndinali wosuta kuyambira pachiyambi, koma sindinazindikire vuto langa mpaka zaka zingapo nditayamba PMO. Pazaka za 13 bambo anga adazindikira kuti ndimayang'ana zolaula, ndipo adayesetsa kundithandiza kuti ndisiye njira yokhayo yomwe amadziwa, poyika zotsekereza pamakompyuta athu kunyumba. Ndimawakonda abambo anga, ndipo akhala akundithandiza kwambiri m'moyo wanga, koma anali wopanda nzeru bwanji poganiza kuti zolaula zitha kundilepheretsa! Sindingafotokozere mwatsatanetsatane momwe ndidapangira, koma kuyendetsa pulogalamuyo kunali kosavuta.
Pambuyo pake bambo anga sanadziwenso za zolaula, ndipo moyo unabwerera "mwachibadwa", koma pali nsomba. Monga tonse tikudziwa pano / r / nofap (ndi / r / zolaula) zosokoneza zimakula. Pofika nthawi yomwe ndinali 15 ndimakhala munthu wopsinjika, wodana ndi ine, komanso wodana naye. Zomwe ndime ziwiri zotsatira zikunena ndizowopsa, ndipo ndizinyamula zikumbutsozi kumanda wanga.
Ndinkadana ndi kuti ndindani. Ndinkadana ndi kuti sindingathe kulimba mtima wokwanira komanso mphamvu kuti ndisiye kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo a PMO. Ndayesa kuyimitsa nthawi zochulukirapo kuposa momwe ndingakumbukire, mwina kuposa nthawi za 50 zomwe ndidayesera. Nthawi yayitali kwambiri pakati pa kubwerera m'mbuyo inali sabata limodzi. Panthawi yotambalala iyi ndimaganiza kuti mwina ndikanakhoza kumenya PMO, koma ndidasweka tsiku 8 ndi kuluma kwambiri mpaka mbolo yanga idakhetsa. Izi ndi zomwe ine ndinali. Pamwamba pazokonda izi ndidadwala kwambiri. Panthawi ina ndinayenera kulandira ma infusions angapo a magazi kuti mtima wanga usayime.
Ndinali wosweka m'njira iliyonse. Ndipo ndidathandizira kupha mmodzi mwa anzanga omwe ndidakhalako nawo. Mnzangayu adabwera kwa ine kupempha thandizo, ndimadziwa kuti ali ndi nkhawa kwambiri, ndipo amafuna wina woti azilankhula naye, koma ndidamuwuza kuti moyo suyenda bwino ndipo palibe kanthu. Iye anathamangitsa galimoto yake m'mbali mwa mseu usiku womwewo, kudzipha mwanjira yabwino. Tsiku lotsatira nditalankhula ndi bwenzi lake adandiuza zomwe zidachitika, ndipo ndidaseka. Ndidaseka nditazindikira kuti mzanga m'modzi yekha padziko lapansi adzipha.
Ndikosatheka kunena motsimikiza kuti ndimanyansidwa ndimomwe ndidalili. Wakale ine ndinali chirombo. Ndili wodabwitsidwa moona kuti sindinachitepo zachiwawa kapena kugwiririra aliyense. Chomwe chimandibwezera m'mbuyo chinali manyazi. Chinthu chimodzi chomwe ndinasungirako chinali chikhumbo changa chofuna kukondweretsa abambo anga. Sindinkafuna kuti adziwe momwe ndilili mkati. Ndinkapita kutchalitchi Lamlungu lililonse komanso Lachitatu, ndimayankhula zachikhristu ndikumakhala ngati ndili bwino. Ndinakhala wabodza wodabwitsa. Nditha kudutsa chilichonse pafupi ndi aliyense. Nthawi ya tchalitchi ndimakhala ndi kuyang'ana atsikana onse aku sukulu yakusekondale. Ndimakhala pansi ndikubisala malingaliro anga momwe ndimaganizira za atsikana awa.
Gehena iyi idakhala zaka zochepa mpaka tsiku lina ndidaganiza zodzipha. Ndinkadziwa kuti ndikudwala pamutu, koma sindinkafuna thandizo, ndimafuna kutha kwa zowawa, manyazi, komanso kudana kwathunthu. Koma sindinathe kupyola nazo. Sindingathe ngakhale kudzipha ndekha! Kodi mukudziwa zomwe zili choncho? Kukhala wolamuliridwa kwathunthu ndi thupi lanu kwakuti simungathe ngakhale kudziwononga nokha? Chifukwa chake ndili ndi zaka 17 ndidadzilola kuti ndikhale kapolo wa thupi langa. Ndapanga ndandanda: Dzuka, upite kusukulu, ubwere kunyumba ndikuwonera zolaula kwa theka la ola, uzichita homuweki, udye chakudya chamadzulo, kusewera masewera apakanema, kuwonera zolaula mpaka nditatopa kwambiri kuti ndipitilize, kugona, kubwereza. Ndinakhala loboti. Kutsata ndondomeko yomweyi… tsiku ndi tsiku.
Chabwino, china chake chodabwitsa chidachitika pafupifupi miyezi 3 yapitayo. Abambo ena omwe sindinakumanepo nawo adabwera kwa ine ndikusintha dziko langa. Adalankhula nane, zimandipangitsa kumva kuti ndine wofunika ndipo amandifunsa mafunso. Tsopano, kwa abodza onse kunjaku, mukudziwa kuti funso ndilowopsa. Ngati mulibe zida zoyenera komanso nkhani yophimba, funso losavuta lingathe kuwononga chilichonse. Chabwino, A (bwenzi langa latsopano) atayamba kundifunsa mafunso… Ndinamva kutopa kwambiri kuti ndisapeze nkhani yabwino. Kotero ine ndinamuuza iye chowonadi. Tsiku lotsatira, adandiwonetsa kwa mnzake, K. Chabwino, K ndiye msungwana wodabwitsa kwambiri yemwe ndidakumana naye m'moyo wanga. Mu mphindi imodzi ndinamva ngati china chake m'maganizo mwanga changozimilira. Ndinkadziwa kuti ndikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mtsikanayo, komanso ndimadziwanso kuti ndine ndani. Chifukwa chake ndinapita kunkhondo. Ndachotsa zolaula zonse pamakompyuta anga, ndakhala wowona mtima ndi anyamata achikulire ochepa omwe ndikuwadziwa, ndipo ndidachotsa mayesero onse m'moyo wanga. Ndidasankha ndekha, kwa nthawi yoyamba m'zaka 7 kuti ndichite zomwe zingafunike kuti ndikhale munthu wabwino. Zina zonse ndi mbiriyakale.
Pambuyo masiku 90 opanda zolaula zamtundu uliwonse (osasewera ngakhale masewera apakanema ngati skyrim), osachita bwino, osakhazikika, ndipo palibe chilichonse chogonana mwanjira iliyonse, ndine munthu watsopano. Ndasintha kuchokera mkatikati mwa moyo wanga. Palibe chofanana. Ndinkanama kwa aliyense ndi aliyense za chilichonse, tsopano sindingathe kunena zilizonse zosawona mtima, ngakhale nditakhala kuti ... sindingathe. Komanso, ndimadzidalira.
Isanafike Okutobala chaka chatha ndinali ndi mzanga m'modzi yekha, ndipo tinkakonda kucheza. Tsopano, ndili ndi gulu la abwenzi anayi omwe ndingawachitire chilichonse, ndipo ndikupanga anzanga kulikonse komwe ndikupita. Izi zikumveka zopusa, koma dziko lapansi ndi malo okongola! Nthawi zonse ndimayenda mozungulira mapewa nditasunthira pansi. Tsopano ndimayang'ana maso ndi aliyense ndikukhala bwino. Ndili ndi atsikana omwe amandiuza kuti ndimawoneka bwino, ndipo anthu ena omwe amandidziwa sanazindikire kuti ndine ndani. Mnyamata m'modzi yemwe ndakhala ndikumudziwa kwa zaka zingapo sanadziwe kuti anali ine pamene tinkacheza dzulo!
Ndinkakhala ndi ziphuphu zoyipitsa, wopanda kalembedwe, wopanda umunthu, tsitsi loipa, komanso kusatha kusintha momwe ndinalili. Tsopano ndimadziyang'ana pagalasi ndipo ndimakonda momwe ndiriri. Ndikufunabe kuti ndikhale ndi minofu yambiri, koma kupatula izi ndili chirombo chachiwerewere! Pomaliza, ndiyendetsa. Ndipeza mapaundi a 25 a minofu chaka chino, ndidzakhoza bwino masukulu, ndidzaloweza ndakatulo ya mawu ya 1000 kumapeto kwa sabata yamawa. Osati chifukwa ndikufunika (ngakhale mamasukulu omwe ndimafunikira ndikufunikira), koma chifukwa ndikufuna.
Chifukwa chake, mwakhalidwe pa nkhaniyi kwa abale ndi alongo anga onse omwe akumenya nawo nkhondoyi, ngati ndingathe kutero, mutha kuchita. Mwachangu, ngati gawo loyimbidwa lomwe ndimakhala kuti lingasinthe, mutha kutero inunso. Tsopano, chinthu choyamba chomwe muyenera kuchita ngati mukufuna kuyamba ulendowu ndikudzipeza nokha bwenzi yemwe mukudziwa kuti mungamukhulupirire, ndikufotokozerani vuto lanu. Simupambana nkhondoyi ngati mutha kuchita nokha.
LINK - Tsiku lakusintha kwa 90
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