Ndaganiza zolemba zomwe zithandizira iwo omwe akuchira chifukwa chakuwona / kuzunza zolaula za amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Ndilibe mayankho onse, koma ndimadziona kuti ndingathe kupereka upangiri ndikulankhula za zomwe ndakumana nazo ndikupita patsogolo kukonzanso ubongo wanga.
Ndikufuna kuti mudziwe kuti ichi si "chitsogozo" kapena chinsinsi cha mayankho anu onse. Zonse zomwe zalembedwa mkati ndi zokumana nazo ZANGA ndi malingaliro, komanso mayankho omwe ndapeza ndekha. Komabe, ngati mungapeze chilichonse cholimbikitsa ndi / kapena chothandiza - chabwino, ndiye kuti ndachita choyenera.
Ndiyamba ndi kupereka nkhani yanga yanga. Zanu sizingafanane ndi zanga, komabe ndikuganiza kuti ndizofunikira kuti ndipereke zomwe ndalemba. Ndiyesetsa momwe ndingathere kuti ndisapewe kufotokoza mwatsatanetsatane.
Pazifukwa zofanizira, ndine wamwamuna wazaka zowerengeka za 21.
Ndinayamba kuseweretsa maliseche ndili m'kalasi lachisanu zolaula zolaula molunjika komanso zogonana. Popeza ndinali wokondweretsedwa ndi lingaliro la kusandulika ndimaganizira za "kusintha" kwa amayi - monga momwe aliri, kupeza "chuma" chabwino. Mammaries akulu ndi zina zotero, ngati mukufuna.
Izi zidapita patali ndikuganiza za anthu omwe akusintha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha - mawonekedwe akukulirakulira. Pena paliponse pamzerewu ndinayamba kujambula zolaula zolaula ndi akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Sindinena zambiri, koma sindinapeze chidwi chodzilingalira ndekha amene ndimalowa - ndimadziyerekeza kuti ndine "msungwana"
Ndinkakayikira zachiwerewere zanga kwambiri kumapeto kwa 2010, ndipo mwamwayi ndikadakhala nazo, chifukwa chodya zinthu zambiri zosaloledwa ndidayamba kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Gawo lodabwitsa ili la moyo wanga linatha kuyambira Januware mpaka kumapeto kwa Novembala 2011. Ndinkadzikhulupirira kuti ndili ndi gay, ndipo ndidataya mayendedwe aliwonse azimayi. M'chilimwe, kukhala wachinyengo komanso kuyesera kupeza yankho langa, ndidapeza lingaliro lakuti ndinali ndikumverera kwazonse.
Ndidasankha "kukwaniritsa" chidwi changa chokhala "mkazi". Ndimakhala, pagulu ndimatha kuwonjezera, monga wopitilira miyezi itatu. Pambuyo pake, ananditumiza ku chipatala cha amisala. Chifukwa cha upangiri komanso kuthera nthawi yochezera amuna ndimazindikira kuti sindimakopeka ndi amuna ndipo ndidazindikira kuti zolaula zidayamba zomwe zidasokoneza moyo wanga molakwika.
Ndinkalakwitsa kwambiri nthawi imeneyi, ndipo ndikuthokoza kuti ndinapeza NoFap ndiyambiranso kuyesetsa, ndikundiyambitsa njira yatsopano.
Nditapeza NoFap, ndinanena china chamumtima kuti: "Osadzachitanso." Izi zimakamba za zolaula zonse komanso zolaula za trangenderism. Ndine wokondwa kunena kuti ndasunga lonjezo langa kuyambira pamenepo. (Zindikirani; inde, ndabwereranso kuyambira 2011, komabe zakhala zikuwongolera zolaula.)
Ndili ndi mbiri yanga kutali, ndaganiza zopanga gawo lotsatirali pamtundu wa Q&A. Ndikukhulupirira kuti mupeza upangiri wina m'malemba otsatirawa.
Muyenera kuzindikira komabe, izi ndi zomwe ndikuwona komanso zokumana nazo zanga. Ambiri omwe akuchira zolaula za transgender sanapitirirepo "kutalika" monga momwe ndakhalira, koma tonse tili ndi cholinga chofananira pano. Chonde, werengani.
- Funso: Kodi "zokopa" zanga zogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha zitha?
Yankho lalifupi: inde. Yankho lalitali: limatero, ndithudi. Muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti kukondweretsedwa ndi zolaula za transgender ndi mtundu wina wa fetischism - kukoma komwe kumapezeka komwe sikomwe kunali chilengedwe. Njira zomwe anthu amaonera zolaula adapeza chifukwa cha mankhwala ndi opaleshoni - chinthu chomwe sichinali gawo la kusinthika kwaumunthu. Chodabwitsa cha malingaliro a transgender amadziwika kuti amapezeka m'njira zosiyanasiyana m'mbiri, koma kusintha kwakusintha kwa amuna kapena akazi kutengera ukadaulo womwe sunakhaleko ngakhale m'zaka zana limodzi. Ndizosatheka kuganiza kuti mtundu wonse wa anthu watengera izi komanso kuti kuwuka kwa omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi kugonana komwe mumabadwa nako.
Malingaliro amisala yakukwiyitsika ndiyovuta kwambiri, chinthu chomwe ndimangokhulupirira pano. Zowonadi ndi zakuti, lingaliro la kusintha kwa zinthu zolaula momwe zilili masiku ano ndi chochitika chaposachedwa, ndipo zimveketsa kuti malingaliro achidwi angawonetsetse ndipo pamapeto pake akhoza kupitilira maliseche.
Koma monga zilili ndi mitundu yonse yakukwera, ndikothekera kwambiri kuti munthu achire posawonerera ndikumenya maliseche.
- Q: Koma kodi zokondweretsa zanga zaku shemale zolaula zidzatha mpaka kalekale?
Y: Pakadali pano sindine wotsimikiza nkomwe. Ndikudziwa ndikudziwa kuti imazimiririka, koma simungakhale otsimikiza. Munalumikiza ubongo wanu kuti muzichita maliseche ku TS zolaula, ndipo mutha kuzidziwitsa nokha - sizotheka kunena kuti mutha kudziyambiranso. Yankho la funso lidzabwera nthawi. Zomwe zimanditsogolera ku funso lotsatira…
- Q: Ndapita kwakanthawi osayang'ana zolaula zilizonse zogonana - kodi ndiyenera kudziyesa kuti ndidziyese ngati ndikadayiyang'anabe?
A: Ayi, ayi simuyenera. Zomwe zimapangitsa izi ndizomveka, koma "kudziyesa" sikukuthandizani kwenikweni. Ayi konse. Zifukwa izi ndi ziwiri:
1: Mukusewera ndi moto. Ikhoza kukutentha iwe, moyipa. Mutha kudzutsidwa, ndikudzitaya nokha. Pali chiopsezo chachikulu kuti mutaya zonse zomwe mwapeza - ndizowopsa zomwe simuyenera kuchita.
2: Mumakumana ndi zokhumudwitsa zazikulu. Kuganiza kuti tsopano mwamasulidwa ku temberero la zolaula za TS ndikumverera kwakukulu - kuwona kuti kumverera kopwetekedwa kumakhala koipitsitsa. Kupweteka pamakhalidwe anu mwina ndi chinthu choyipitsitsa chomwe chingachitike kwa wina amene atenga NoFap - kachiwiri, izi sizoyenera chiopsezo. Zili ngati kukhala ndi bala loyabwa: nthawi iliyonse mukalikanda lidzaipiraipira. Lolani lichiritse.
- Q: Ndingatani ngati ndakopeka ndi zochitika za m'moyo weniweni komanso?
Yankho: Ngakhale mutuwo ungaoneke ngati wosasangalatsa bwanji, pali anthu omwe ali ofunitsitsa kukhala ndi zibwenzi zenizeni zogonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Ndizochepa pakapangidwe kazinthu, koma anthuwa alipo. Ndikufuna kuti mumvetse kena kake: Ndalankhula ndi anthu ambiri omwe amaonera zolaula za TS komanso pa funso ngati angachite "ndi trans transit m'moyo weniweni 90% yati ayi.
Ndikungofuna kuti mubwereze kwa inu tanthauzo lenileni lakuwonjezeka kwa zolaula ndikulakalaka; nthawi zambiri zomwe mumawonera komanso zomwe mumaganizira sizokhudza kwenikweni kapena zokopa. Ngakhale mutayesa chinthu chenicheni pali kuthekera kwakukulu kuti simungakonde.
M'kupita kwanthawi, ili ndi vuto laumwini. Ndiwe nokha amene mungapeze yankho - nthawi zonse pamakhala kuthekera kokuyesera, koma pamapeto pake zitha kuvulaza kuposa kuthandiza. Itha ngakhale kukupangitsani kusokonezeka kwambiri.
Malangizo anga? Dziwonetseni nokha. Komanso dzipatseni nthawi. Osatero, ndipo ndikubwereza Osayesa kudzikakamiza kuti ndibweretse yankho kwa tsiku limodzi kapena awiri. Iyi ndi nkhani yaumwini yomwe idzawulule yokha popita nthawi. Izi zitha kumveka zowonekeratu, koma m'kupita kwanthawi izi ndi zomwe ziripo. Monga momwe njira yochotsera yokha imatheka pongolola chilengedwe kukhala chake.
Mugawo lomaliza lino ndaganiza zowonjezera zambiri zokhudzana ndi zomwe ndakumana nazo komanso momwe ndapita. Ndikuchenjezani; pali mfundo ziwiri zomwe ndi Mendulo YOTHANDIZA. Ndidzaphimba machenjezo awa ndi mawu obisika.
Choyamba, ndimakopeka kwambiri ndi azimayi omwe ali pafupi nane. Ndakhala ndi zochitika zochepa zokha ndipo sindinayambe ndakhala ndikudzidalira ndekha ndikugonana moyo wanga wonse. Sindinakhalepo ndi kugonana kangapo konse kuyambira nditatenga NoFap - theka chifukwa chouma, theka chifukwa chosankha kuzipewa mpaka nditakonza zovuta zina pamoyo wanga. Ndatha kubwera ngakhale kwa nthawi yoyamba. Izi mosakayikira chifukwa cha NoFap, ndipo ndine wokondwa ndikukula kwanga.
Zithunzi zolaula zakale zimachitika pafupipafupi. Alibe mphamvu mwa ine. Ngakhale zimandipangitsa kuti ndisamve bwino sindimasilira kapena kusowa kuti ndipeze zolaula kapena kulumikizana ndi transitor m'moyo weniweni. Sindikukayikira kuti ndizotheka kuti nditha kulandira erection ngati nditawonanso zolaula za TS, koma ndikufuna kusiya izi ngati zotheka osati kuti ndipeze kuwona mtima konse.
Ndakhala ndikukumana kawiri pafupi ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Onsewa anali ataledzera ndipo mwangozi. Sindingayerekeze ngakhale kunena kuti “ndakodwa.” Zambiri zimatsatira m'malemba obisika.
Ndinakumana ndi "mtsikana" mu kalabu. Zosasangalatsa kwenikweni, koma ndinali nditaledzera ndipo mwanjira inayake tinapanga. Milomo yake inamveka yachilendo kwambiri; wosasamala kwambiri. Kupsompsonana kunali kwakukulu… kusowa. Ndinayamba kupopa magazi membala wanga, koma sindinapeze ngakhale theka-boner, yomwe ndimakhala wosamvetseka panthawiyo. Ndidazindikira pambuyo pake zomwe anali, ndinanyansidwa - koma nthawi yomweyo ndimakhala ndi chiyembekezo kuti sindinapeze zomwe zidakopa. Sizinali ngati kupsompsona komwe ndidakhala nako ndi mayi wobereka. Zinangomva zolakwika.
Kukumana kwachiwiri kunali ku kalabu. "Mtsikana" anabwera kwa ine. Tinakambirana. Ine ndinachitapo kanthu kumusi uko, monga wina akanakhoza kukhudzidwira ndi winawake yemwe amawoneka ngati wamkazi - kenako anazindikira yemwe iye anali. Anataya chidwi chilichonse chomwe ndinali nacho kwa iye nthawi yomweyo.
Ndimawona zochitikazi ngati umboni wopita patsogolo, pafupifupi ngati "zizindikilo" kuti ndikuchita bwino. Ndinaganiza zogawana nawo ngati chizindikiro cha chiyembekezo; ngakhale mutaganizira zoyipa kwambiri, siziyenera kukhala choncho. Moyo umakudabwitsani, ndipo nthawi zina munjira zabwino ngakhale kuti zimamveka zovuta pantchitoyo.
Nditseka izi ndikunena izi: kubwezeretsanso zenizeni zakugonana kwanu ndizotheka. Ndi. Ubwino ndi zotsatira za NoFap ndizowona ndipo mudzamverera kupatsidwa nthawi.
Koma muyenera kuona zinthu moyenera. Izi zingatenge kanthawi. Zolimbikitsa zanu komanso kudzuka kwanu sizidzatha m'masiku angapo - ndayimirira pano zaka zopitilira ziwiri ndipo ndimadzimvabe kulingalira zomwe ndakumana nazo ndikuwona.
Koma zimayamba bwino. Ah mwana, zimatero.
Ndikufunanso kuti muphunzire kuvomereza nokha ngakhale mutakhala kuti mukumva bwanji - musachite manyazi m'mbuyomu. Mwabwera pano pazifukwa, ndipo ndichifukwa choti mwaphunzira kuchokera pamenepo.
Palibe manyazi dzulo.
Pali chiyembekezo chokha mawa.
(Chidziwitso chake bwera, ndipo utha kufika bwanji.)
by Anitropius
;