Mbiri yanga: inayamba nofap mu January wa 2012. Ndinachita chifukwa cha nkhani za ED zomwe ndinazindikira zinali chifukwa cha nthawi yanga yambiri, PMO. Kwenikweni, sindinathe kupeza mpata pokhapokha ngati ndikuyang'ana pa kompyuta panthawi yomwe ndimangoyenda pa fap. Ndinayamba PMO pamene ndinali 11 ndipo ndinakhala chizoloŵezi cha tsiku ndi tsiku kwa zaka 12 zotsatira. Panthawiyi ndinali ndi zochitika zochepa zokhudzana ndi kugonana kunja kwa PMO ndipo ndinakhalabe ndekha ndekha chifukwa cha zovuta zomwe PMO anali nazo mu ubongo wanga. Pozindikira vuto lalikulu lomwe PMO anali kwa ine, ndinapita masiku 142 ndisanadzitchule kuti zatha mu June 2012. Iyi inali nthawi yosintha kwambiri, yosintha moyo, yakukula kwamisala yomwe ndidakumanapo nayo. Njira zomwe malingaliro anga ndi thupi langa zidasinthira panthawiyi ndizazovuta kwambiri kufotokoza pano. Nditha kulemba buku lonse za izi. Koma gawo loyenera pantchitoyi ndikuti ndidapeza GF yanga yoyamba ndipo ndidataya unamwali wanga kwa iye. Ndipo ndine wotsimikiza kuti nofap inali ndi chochita chilichonse ndi izi.
Ndidazitcha kuti zasiya chifukwa panthawiyo ndimamva ngati "ndachiritsidwa mokwanira". Ndinatha kuvutikira kuti ndiyike mwa munthu, ndiye chifukwa chiyani ndikupitiliza izi, ndimaganiza. Sindinalinso ndi chilimbikitso champhamvu chokhala ndekha ndikukhala mumdima tsiku ndi tsiku. Zigawo zanga za fap zidayamba patadutsa pafupifupi mwezi, kenako sabata, kenako masiku angapo m'mbuyomu, ndikumazichita tsiku lililonse. Ndipo a ED anali atabwerera. Osakhala olimba monga poyambirira, koma ndimatha kumva kuti matendawa adakalipobe muubongo wanga. Onani chithunzi ichi Ndapanga November watha kuti ndiwonjezere zambiri.
Sindinathe kuyambitsa mzere wanga wapano mpaka Januware watha, womwe uli masiku 78. Ndipo ndikumva bwino. Ndinayamba kugonana pafupipafupi ndi munthu amene ndakumana naye posachedwa, wogwira naye ntchito. Ndizachilendo, malinga ndi pempho lake, zomwe zili bwino ndi ine, ngakhale ndikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi chachikulu ndi wina. (Sidenote: ED sinatheretu kwina. Gawo lina ndikulowerera kwa PMO, ndipo gawo lina lakukhudzidwa ndi nkhawa. Izi ndi zotsatira za mbiri yanga yakugonana, ndipo njira yokhayo yomwe ikupitilira ndi Ndinamuuza moona mtima za vuto langa la PMO komanso momwe zimakhudzira zovuta zanga ndikuwonetsetsa kuti akudziwa kuti sizikugwirizana ndi iye. Ndikuganiza kuti adaziyamikira ndipo zikuwoneka kuti sizabwino nazo. Amuna inu, khalani oona mtima komanso osayang'ana patsogolo nkhani zanu. Angakusangalatseni chifukwa cha kuwona mtima kwanu.) Koma chinthu chabwino pano, kwa ine, ndichakuti Ndinayesetsa kwambiri kuti ubalewu uchitike. Akadakhala ine pre-nofap, ndikadakhala pansi ndikumuyembekezera kuti andisonyeze chidwi, ndikumulemba mu spankbank yanga ndikukhala wokhutira ndi ine. Koma sizomwe zinachitika. Ndidatsimikiza kuti ndimamufuna, ndipo mwayiwo utadziperekanso, ndinadziyika ndekha panja, ndikudziyang'anira, ndikumutenga. Ndipo ndidapeza zomwe ndimafuna. Chachikulu. Ndinaganiza ndi mipira yanga osati ndi mutu umodzi kamodzi, zomwe kale ndimakhala ndikuchita moyo wanga wonse. Ndipo ine ndinazindikira, kuti izi ndi momwe ziyenera kukhalira. Ndinapangidwa kuti ndichite izi. Ndine makina, mafupa, minofu, magazi, ziwalo, khungu, amene ali ndi luso lapadera lofuna chiyanjano cha kugonana ndi makina ena a amuna kapena akazi kuti apange makina angapo omwe amachita chimodzimodzi.
Monga momwe chiganizo chomaliza chimawonekere, kufika pozindikira izi kumandikakamiza kuti ndiyamikire thupi langa m'njira yatsopano. Ngati ndiyenera kulemekeza thupi langa momwemo momwe ndimalemekezera nzeru zanga, kapena ndikulemekeza mzimu wanga, ndiye kuti sindiyenera kufota. Ndipo ndaphunzira kukonda moona thupi langa.
Chifukwa chake ndikusiya chikhumbo changa chofuna kusintha ndikusintha kukhala chikhumbo cholemekeza thupi langa poligwiritsa ntchito momwe amayenera kugwiritsidwira ntchito. Ena a inu mwina mukuwerenga izi ndikuganiza "Kodi munthu wanzeru, ndikungoseweretsa maliseche, ukukutenga izi mozama". Kwa anthu ena zomwe zitha kukhala zowona. Koma, kwa ife omwe tili ndi mwayi wokhala ndi malire pa intaneti tikadali achinyamata, ndizovuta kwambiri. Kugonana kwanga kudawonongeka kwamuyaya, ndipo momwemonso chidakwa chimakhala chidakwa pamoyo ngakhale atakhala wosaganiza bwino kwazaka zambiri, ndine wokonda PMO kwa moyo wanga wonse. Ndipo zomwe zimandipweteketsa kwambiri panthawiyi, ndimakhala pang'onopang'ono koma ndikuchira, ndipo ndikudziwa kuti ndidzakhala wapamwamba, wamphamvu kuposa kale pazomwe zandichitikira kuti ndimumenyetsere
by dontwannafap
Comments: Kusiyana ndi kudzipangitsa kujambula kwina, mbali zake zomwe zikukhala zofala, ndi kudzidzimva kwa mnyamata, zaka za 8 (zomwe zikutanthauza zaka zochepa zolaula), amene adachira mu 2010: "Mmene Ndinapezekera Kuchokera ku Erectile Dysfunction"
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